Cheating on his husband

[+ purplekow]

I never cheated on my wife nor have I knowingly engaged with a legally married man or woman.

I have, as Jimmy Carter did, lusted in my heart.

Recently, an escort mentioned to me that he was planning on proposing to his boyfriend. At the time, my response was congratulatory. With a bit of time, I am wondering if I would knowingly hire a legally married escort.

So, does it matter to you if your escort is married? (Even if they are okay with it,

are you?)

Does it make it hotter? (Yeah I am giving him something he does not get at home---in the case of an escort usually several hundred dollars)

Are you neutral about it? (As long as I get off who the fuck cares what his life is all about)

Warm to Hot

Neutral

Cool to Cold

[+ WilliamM]

So, does it matter to you if your escort is married? (Even if they are okay with it,

are you?)

 

I was in that situation with an escort whom I had hired often before he was married, but sometimes living with his partner. We had several conversations. I decided not to hire him, only because there was a significant gap between are escort sessions.

 

His marriage had very little to do with my decision because he initited the contact. And I knew him long before he met his future husband. I also know that his husband hates what he is doing -- the very few times he knows about it.

 

But, I now wonder if I should have been more thoughtful. I was just thinking about myself. Thank so much for mentioning this issue, PK. I learned something about myself.

[Guest]

It's not cheating if the couple both understand what's going on and agree to it. In my long-term relationships, we've had the understanding that it's OK to have sex with someone else once from time to time, as long as there's no further contact after the one encounter. For us, a single encounter doesn't constitute a violation of the bond. I can't imagine that the husband of the escort doesn't know what the escort does for a living, and he obviously is OK with it. Now, you have every right to feel however you want to feel about this. If you feel that your escort is despoiling the Holy institution of marriage, you have every right to feel that way, and to withhold your patronage in protest. But realize, then, that you're doing this because of your personal feelings of how a marriage should be, not because you're discouraging "cheating," which this isn't.

[+ azdr0710]

I met with a married-to-a-woman dude last week.....they are both very, very open-minded.....gotta say I forgot to ask him if she knows he's escorting, but I think she does know.....

 

yes, as long as both spouses know what's going on and have an agreement, I think it's fine as long as it's kept as all business

[Nebost]

Yes, I'm ok with the hiring part, I mostly consider a person's private life is none of my business, criminal activities and cruelty aside. If I'm told the spouse is OK with his job as an escort, then I'm happy for them that they have an honest relationship.

 

I recently met a male stripper who told me his wife is *thrilled* with his new job. He used to make $10 /hour, and now his thong is stuffed with hundreds of dollars (he is quite hot and popular). She even knows that he occasionally goes home with some of the bar patrons, and they have agreed that his mouth is for the wife only, but his butthole and cock are enthusiastically available for rent. They have two young kids and he says now they can do all the things for them that they could not previously afford (Six Flags, ChuckECheese Bday parties, etc). So everyone is happier with hot young daddy's new job.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I've hired escorts who are in relationships and I'm fine with it. I'll admit that I didn't think I would hire a guy in a relationship/with a family until some I had seen a couple of times started seeing someone. Since I already knew the guy, it made for an easy transition. Now, I've seen four or five guys in relationships and don't think twice about it.

[Rudynate]

I never cheated on my wife nor have I knowingly engaged with a legally married man or woman.

I have, as Jimmy Carter did, lusted in my heart.

Recently, an escort mentioned to me that he was planning on proposing to his boyfriend. At the time, my response was congratulatory. With a bit of time, I am wondering if I would knowingly hire a legally married escort.

So, does it matter to you if your escort is married? (Even if they are okay with it,

are you?)

Does it make it hotter? (Yeah I am giving him something he does not get at home---in the case of an escort usually several hundred dollars)

Are you neutral about it? (As long as I get off who the fuck cares what his life is all about)

Warm to Hot

Neutral

Cool to Cold

 

I'm OK with it. He's a grown man, presumably doesn't need parenting, and his relationship status is none of my business.

 

Gay men always have designed their own relationships. It isn't surprising that they are redesigning the institution of marriage.

[OneFinger]

A few years ago I was in a non-escort relationship with a wonderful guy that really turned my crank. The sex was awesome and our personalities really "clicked". I was falling in love and I never questioned why we always slept at my house and not his. Then, about 4 months into things, he confesses that he was married and had a young daughter. He said he planned on getting a divorce but, because of a business owned by he and his wife, it might take a while.

 

That was the turning point for me. I broke it off immediately. I couldn't be the unknown "mistress" in his relationship.

 

On the escort side, there's one guy I've seen multiple times. He's been very open about having a male "partner" and I suspect they are now married. But, his partner traveled with him and knew of his escorting job. I had no problems with that relationship because there was no deception. I'll continue hiring guys in relationships as long as the partner knows and consents.

[+ Charlie]

My partner and I admitted to one another about two weeks into the relationship that neither one of us would be truly happy in a totally monogamous relationship, nor would we want to stay yoked to one another if one of us wanted to be free. Therefore, we were always open about our sexual activity with other men, and on a couple of occasions each of us even became emotionally involved with other people. Yet we always recognized that the bond between us was stronger than anything we had with anyone else. That may not have looked like a "marriage" to most other people who subscribed to a traditional concept of "marriage," but it worked well for us, because we knew we loved one another, and after the first dozen years we knew we would stay together permanently, no matter what we might happen to do sexually with others. We never confused sexual desire with love, and we never argued about sex. But every couple have to come to their own mutual understanding about such matters. We were lucky that we felt the same way from the start.

 

Ironically, we have been totally monogamous since we have been legally married, but that is more a matter of inclination and opportunity than any philosophical commitment to sexual fidelity.

 

I have never asked about a sexual partner's marital status before having sex, because I assume that is his business. However, if I was aware that he was in a relationship, and that his partner objected to his sexual activity, I normally declined to become involved with him rather than exacerbate the friction between the two of them.

[Irtwo]

...they have agreed that his mouth is for the wife only, but his butthole and cock are enthusiastically available for rent.

 

That's a funny priority of body parts.

[AdamSmith]

That's a funny priority of body parts.

 

Interestingly that priority aligns with a somewhat common practice among female sex workers of not kissing clients. (Although I notice that prohibition is fading among younger women, say 25 and under.)

[+ purplekow]

It's not cheating if the couple both understand what's going on and agree to it. In my long-term relationships, we've had the understanding that it's OK to have sex with someone else once from time to time, as long as there's no further contact after the one encounter. For us, a single encounter doesn't constitute a violation of the bond. I can't imagine that the husband of the escort doesn't know what the escort does for a living, and he obviously is OK with it. Now, you have every right to feel however you want to feel about this. If you feel that your escort is despoiling the Holy institution of marriage, you have every right to feel that way, and to withhold your patronage in protest. But realize, then, that you're doing this because of your personal feelings of how a marriage should be, not because you're discouraging "cheating," which this isn't.

I assume you are using the general you not the specific you in your statement, as it should be clear that I did not mention whether I would do it or not, only that I had not.

Yes the title uses cheating but that was used to catch the reader's eye, flashy headline and all.

[liubit]

I feel,that if the escort is in a relationship, it is HIS problem to sort things out with his partner, and definitely not mine. I never ask, anyway.

[Nebost]

That's a funny priority of body parts.

 

Well, if you think about it, the mouth is the most expressive and personal of the three. Moreover, she has little use for the butthole, campared to a male top . And she has to share the cock if the kids want season passes to both Six Flags and Sea World, it's not cheap.

[UKtop]

When I hired Ricky Ford a month or so ago, he was very open about the fact that he was married to fellow escort, and porn star, Theo Ford.

 

He was ok with it, I was ok with it. It was a very hot meeting which I enjoyed, Ricky's marital status did not enhance or detract from it in my mind.

[+ quoththeraven]

What everyone else said: if an escort's married, most likely his spouse knows, and it's his business, not mine, anyway. I'm fairly certain I haven't hired someone who's married yet, so at this point it's a hypothetical question. If the escort were married, it wouldn't matter one way or the other.

 

I'm more concerned about the clients, mostly because there's a lot of potential for problems if they're not in a non-monogamous relationship and their spouse or other significant other finds out and feels betrayed. The consequences could be terrible. I sometimes wonder if it's worth all that. But I don't think it's an escort's job to police his clients' relationships either, and as a practical matter, if they did, a major chunk of their income would be at risk.

[jawjateck]

In a slightly off-topic situation, I once hired a couple for an overnight. They were so loving that I felt like a third wheel, an intruder into their relationship. it was just a platonic evening. Nothing sensual/sexual happened. If I ever hire a couple again, which is not likely, it will be 2 hours or less. No talk. Let's just get it on!

[BaronArtz]

I was seeing an escort 4-5 times per week. Although it was not planned, I sort of became his sugar daddy, paying 1/2 his rent in a nice building with great amenities and a sizeable check every month. He was young, 23 years old, and deeply conflicted about his escort activities. By the end of 2014, he decided to retire, but kept me on as client/sugar daddy. Six months into his retirement, he told me he wanted to remain my friend, but there could no longer be any intimacy between us. While I was seeing him, he had stormy relationships with women (and trannies) that never lasted more than 2 weeks. He would always disclose on a first date with a girl that he had been a rentboy and was still seeing one client. Most women would not accept it, or even if they did say they did accept it, they could not. Because of that, he cut off entirely all escorting activities in order to seriously date women. Another issue was that he was trying to forget his escorting experiences and I, as the very last client, was a constant reminder of it. So, he cut it off. With that, he lost a substantial part of his income and his rent subsidy. It must have been worth it to him. There ARE people out there who cannot deal with a double life. It was and still is very painful for me, and I am still working things out. Thank you for reading this.

[robberbaron4u]

I found myself in such a situation last year with the escort "Alexander Summit"; he had moved on from Rentboy to Bugatti Boy status, and, he was quickly taken up by a mature gentleman of means as "personal property" who had to understand that he enjoyed an "exclusive relationship" with Alexander. My reply to his proposition that I fly him "in" for a long weekend whilst his patron was away caused me no small amount of indecision, but, in the end, my reply to him was "I do not interfere with another man's peaceful enjoyment of his property." "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" says the Good Book. Upon reflection, I could "kick myself" as the lad has the reputation of "knocking your socks off" in bed: "do" now and worry about "done" later. . .

[Guest]

I assume you are using the general you not the specific you in your statement, as it should be clear that I did not mention whether I would do it or not, only that I had not.

Yes the title uses cheating but that was used to catch the reader's eye, flashy headline and all.

 

I meant you, personally, because you said "I am wondering if I would knowingly hire a legally married escort." But it could also, of course, be broadened to mean you in general.

[Guest]

That's a funny priority of body parts.

 

Yes, fuck me in the cunt, fuck me up the ass, suck me off---but kiss me???? Horrors!!!

 

http://blogs.uoregon.edu/yutao/files/2014/06/Horror-wallpapers-3-29dzny4.jpg

 

http://37.media.tumblr.com/fb64164097978f52658b35cf5d10dc86/tumblr_mr4w57Qz2V1qf5do9o1_500.gif

[samandtham]

I once hired a young guy who said in his ad that he's married (and straight). During the small talk part of our date, he mentioned his wife twice. I didn't ask what his wife thought about his work--it's none of my business--but the thought played in my head several times.

 

Truth is, I am uncomfortable hiring an escort who is in a relationship. (In the case of the above mentioned guy, my little head overcame my big head...he's so good-looking!) I've always thought of it as cheating, even if he does go home to her/him at the end of the day. So much so that even though I want to hire him again--for an overnight this time--I have decided against it.

 

He's kept in touch with me and have said hi a couple of times asking if and when I'll be in his neck of the woods again. Oh, the temptation.

 

The curious part about this whole thing, for me at least, is that he never once photographed himself (whether for advertising his escort services, or on his Facebook) with a wedding band.