Gay Friendly Cities

[Spida]

While reading other threads I realized that a few people were thinking and making the move to more "Gay Friendly" areas. Where are these cities? Of course there are a few that obviously stick out.. However, I just wanted your opion, especially of some that we might not think of all the time.

 

Thanks,

Spida.

[Cooper]

Gay friendly city, hmmm, Baghdad... Hope this helps.:+

[VaHawk]

It is very gay friendly in Washington, DC. Just don't cross the Potomac into Virginia.

[trilingual]

Almost any large city on the West Coast, from Seattle to San Diego. Honolulu. Phoenix. Denver. Kansas City. The Twin Cities. Chicago. Houston. Austin. New Orleans. Atlanta. Savannah. Miami/Ft. Lauderdale. Any big city in the Northeast Corridor. Almost any college town with a large state or private university (unless it's Bob Jones University, in which case stay far, far away). There are lots and lots of options if you're looking for a place where you can live comfortably while being openly gay.

[+ Lucky]

Where does woodlawn live?

[VaHawk]

Just a guess, but Bedrock maybe?

[+ Lucky]

How about Smallville?

[Chuck50]

Disneyworld the first week of June. LOL HUGS Chuck

[Flower]

I have traveled all over the US in my practice -- usually to major metropolitan areas, and in the process have searched out the gay areas whenever time permitted. I actually feel San Diego, Seattle and Denver to be the most gay friendly cities I have come accross and still possessing the other attributes I'm looking for in a city and place to relocate to. The obvious stereotypical gay area is the Castro in San Francisco, but found SD and the gay areas of Hillcress and North Park as well as the city in general to be much more inviting.

[Guest pshaw]

>It is very gay friendly in Washington, DC. Just don't cross

>the Potomac into Virginia.

 

The Commonwealth of Virginia as a whole may not be gay friendly, but much of Northern Virginia is. The People's Republics of Alexandria and Arlington are chock full of gay singles and couples, and Fairfax and even Prince William County have growing gay communities. I know of many gays who have tired of the hassles of living in DC and the increasing straightification/chain-store-ization of gay enclaves like Dupont Circle and Adams Morgan.

[VaHawk]

As someone who was born and raised in the very Prince William County you cite, and who currently lives in Arlington, the last time I looked, northern Virginia, unforturnately, is still part of the Commononwealth! What does the fact that there are several gays in northern Virginia have to do with gay friendliness in terms of legal rights? You do know that sodomy is still against the law in Virginia????? It is all wonderful that gays in northern Virginia are free to be themselves in public situations and for the most part suffer no discrimination in terms of housing and employment. BUT THAT IS AT THE DISCRETION OF OTHERS, NOT A LEGAL RIGHT AS IN DC! And BTW, do not exclude the Roanoke area in southwest Virginia or the Richmond and Norfolk areas in southeast Virgina where similar freedom exists!

 

Whereas in DC you can not be fired for being gay if you are working for a company that does business within DC limits, such rights are on a company wide basis, not statewide basis in VA! I know of no jurisdictions in the entire state where this is true, do you?, and if so please enlighten me!

 

The same is true of domestic partnership rights! Did you not read the article in the Washington Post about the lesbian military worker who lost her life in the attack at the Pentagon and whose life long partner was denied benefits from all the insurance and fund raisers such as the 911 fund, consequently losing her home, all because the state of Virginia does not recognize same sex relations? Or the lesbian mother whose child was ripped from her and her partner's home and given to the mother's homophobic mother for that very same reason!

 

I believe it is one thing to be able to express one's sexuality and gayness openly and another to be able to do that and also have the backing of state/local laws to reinforce that right! Although, one can do the former in certain areas of Virginia, only DC in the tri-state area guarantees the right to do both!

 

My home state, I love it, but let's not look at it thru rose-colored, suburban gay-coupled, "I'm free to be me" glasses! If it so gay-friendly why are there no gay establishments in northern Virginia, and the one or two that have opened have been driven out of business by ludicrous law-suits by the "herero establishment"? Why are sodomy laws still on the books and used only to prosecute gays and deny gays rights, insurance benefits, domestic partner benefits, health care and etc that the so called str8s are automatically entitled to? Given the terrorist threats in the northern Virginia area, why are state police resources being wasted to conduct "stings" against gay cruising areas by undercover troopers? x( x(

 

As someone who grew up as a baby boomer in this area, I can still remember Klan rallies, segregated schools, "colored only" facilities, Jim Crow laws and policies ad nauseaum that the civil rights laws have alleviated, but as of yet I have seen no laws to alleviate the abrogation of the rights of law-abiding, tax paying, gay citizens!

 

Until I see this, as I do in DC, I would recommend that anyone looking to relocate for "gay rights, gay freedom" reasons, try DC first!

[nate_sf]

San Francisco's an obvious choice, but what's maybe less obvious is that, in my experience, the overall regional area is very gay friendly too. So if you're not a "city person" (I am, but know lots who aren't), there are lots of choices within 50 miles with either gay clusters or sprinklings, but we've made it pretty much everywhere, and can be out at work and in public with hardly a second thought. For me it's the least confining environment I've found.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Obvious Choices

 

>San Francisco's an obvious choice, but what's maybe less

>obvious is that, in my experience, the overall regional area

>is very gay friendly too. ... For me it's the

>least confining environment I've found.

 

 

Very true.

 

Los Angeles, on the other hand, has clear pockets, but also has entire geographic areas where this is not the case. Likewise, San Diego. Generally, the comment about the western half of the country is true, that individuals generally will respect privacy and will leave you alone; to the extent that you may be very visible and obvious in any way which does not conform, to that extent your privacy will not be respected and you are also more likely to be a target.

 

If I had to pick a very gay friendly environment, on a number of levels, year round, with a number of living situations available, it would easily be the San Francisco Bay Area. As equally obvious, there are what I feel are very good reasons for me personally as to why I no longer live there.

[+ Charlie]

In the 1980s, Albuquerque was the only city I had ever visited where "Gay Bars" was a listing in the Yellow Pages.

[Guest Tomcal_]

Don't forget Palm Springs! I have had several friends move from S.F. with a lot of Equity from the over inflated housing market there and buy twice the house for 1/2 the money in Palm Springs. One friend just bought in a new development in Rancho Mirage(part of P.S. area) and was surprised to find out after he moved in that about 40% of the new owners were gay couples. I live in L.A. area and for years P.S. was known for being a city for "older", retired people, gay or straight, but this is changing. There are alot more guys in their 30's and 40's there. Just have a second home/or friends you can visit for July - Sept.! lol

[Guest pshaw]

Yikes! I didn't say things were perfect in VA, but I'm pretty sure I specified NORTHERN Virginia. On weekends you can't visit the Alexandria Home Depot or Target without tripping over queens. In spite of Virginia's ban on adoptions by gays, I know of several gay couples with adopted children living in Virginia, including two couples in Prince William County.

 

I've lived in Alexandria for more than 20 years now, used to fly a rainbow flag from my porch (I know, I know - I was younger then), and have never had problems with my neighbors, including the Alexandria cop and his wife next door. My neighborhood is full of gay DC refugees, most of whom who had been mugged or burglarized one too many times. I've heard and read of far more complaints about DC police hassling gays than I have about Alexandria or Arlington cops.

 

Virginia has plenty of homophobes, especially in the state legislature, but much of Virginia has always been behind the times. If it weren't for the 1967 Supreme Court decision in Loving v. Virginia, Clarence Thomas could be arrested for being married to a white woman. (Wonder if he would have dissented on THAT decision?)

 

Yes, you can still be legally fired for being gay in Virginia. Yes, I would be more cautious about being openly gay in Roanoke. Virginia ain't perfect, but neither is DC. DC can be a great place to live for gays, but so can places like Alexandria, and many other communities in the DC metro area.

[buckguy]

A corllary is "gay friendly" for what purpose? Do you want to be some place that has gay bars, gay neighborhoods, or do you simply want to be in an accepting environment.

 

I travel alot for work and would certainly endorse the West Coast and at least parts of the Northeast plus probably Chicago and few places in the Midwest and even some places in the South (Atlanta, New Orleans), but when it comes to individual cities, the reasons would vary. Seattle is a place where the gay ghetto really isn't that gay and the ebauty of the place is an overall open-ness. Whereas SF is so gay that it's a bit of a cliche and the clonishness can be a turnoff.

 

Some places also just don't live up to their reps and probably represent places that are "relatively gay friendly". Once you get beyond the "Intown" areas of Atlanta and its inner suburbs, you're in a very different place that a lot of people would not view as gay friendly. But if you want to be some place "Southern", this might be as good as it gets. I've heard fairly negative things about teh Research Triangel---yes there are gay amenities and it's relatively tolerant, but it's not very interesting and the social world is very small. Even in "liberal" parts of the country, you'll find obvious anti-gay sentiments, whether it's in greater NYC or New Orleans.

[Guest Love Bubble Butt]

I agree. I lived in Alexandria, VA for a little over two years and I was running into gays EVERYWHERE. Matter of fact, it was the only place where I've lived where the apartment employees knew I was gay. The bartender at the Bennigan's I used to eat at talked a lot about when he worked at JRs even though he was straight. He said he could make more money tending bar at a gay bar than a straight one. And I wasn't surprised, because he was pretty attractive. Anyway, I felt very comfortable living there.

[trilingual]

In answer to woodlawn, anti-gay employment discrimination is illegal under state law in California and New York, among others. I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some other states, like Massachusetts.

 

Under federal civil service law, it's illegal to discriminate in employment matters against civilian federal employees because they're gay. However, that only goes as far as hiring, firing and promotions go. Domestic partners are still excluded from the benefits of their federal employee partner's health and pension plans.

 

San Francisco's employment anti-discrimination ordinance applies to any company that does business with the City, regardless of where the discrimination takes place. A number of big airlines have been forced to change their policies because they do business with the City. Some of the airlines fought this in court and have lost.

 

Vermont, of course, has statewide civil unions that confer all of the state's benefits and obligations to the same extent as heterosexual married couples. A couple of other states are looking into same-sex marriage/civil union legislation. California is extending such rights/obligations incrementally. In the past few years the state has expanded the rights of registered domestic partners with respect to health and pension benefits, hospital visitation, inheritance, etc. Courts in other states, like NY, have recognized gay relationships for at least some purposes (like being able to stay on in a rent-controlled apartment that was under the name of a deceased lover, or child custody situations). Statewide repeals of sodomy laws, whether done by the courts or the legislature, tend to generate other statewide benefits and protections. Things aren't all as bleak as VA, a very pretty state which strives to be antediluvian in its legislation!

[trilingual]

Oops! I meant VaHawk, not woodlawn!

[Guest Ant415]

there is also Pigeon Forge, TN. close to Dollywood.

[VaHawk]

>Yikes! I didn't say things were perfect in VA, but I'm pretty

>sure I specified NORTHERN Virginia. On weekends you can't

>visit the Alexandria Home Depot or Target without tripping

>over queens. In spite of Virginia's ban on adoptions by gays,

>I know of several gay couples with adopted children living in

>Virginia, including two couples in Prince William County.

 

I believe my response specified the prevalence of gays and the ease of being openly gay in Northern Virginia, but was trying to make the point that this ease is at the discretion of others, not a legal right, so I don't know what point of mine you are disputing with your statement. As far as adopted children goes, I'd be willing to bet that they didn't adopt those children thru the state institutions of the Old Dominion, but did so in another locale or thru family/personal friends and if the latter, that the state doesn't know they are gay.

 

>I've lived in Alexandria for more than 20 years now, used to

>fly a rainbow flag from my porch (I know, I know - I was

>younger then), and have never had problems with my neighbors,

>including the Alexandria cop and his wife next door. My

>neighborhood is full of gay DC refugees, most of whom who had

>been mugged or burglarized one too many times. I've heard and

>read of far more complaints about DC police hassling gays than

>I have about Alexandria or Arlington cops.

 

Don't know what your point is here, as I personally know gay cops on both the DC and Alexandria police forces, as I lived in DC for five years and Alexandria for 12 years. As far as being mugged, that only happened to me in DC, but as far as being burglarized that happened to me only in Alexandria, so your point, imo, is moot. I can't recall ever being harrased by cops in DC, Alexandria or Arlington just for being gay or know of anyone else who has been. Care to cite some examples to back up your point?

 

>

>Virginia has plenty of homophobes, especially in the state

>legislature, but much of Virginia has always been behind the

>times. If it weren't for the 1967 Supreme Court decision in

>Loving v. Virginia, Clarence Thomas could be arrested for

>being married to a white woman. (Wonder if he would have

>dissented on THAT decision?)

 

What does this have to do with gays and gay rights in Virginia? As far as I know, northern Virginia, regardless of how gay friendly, is still part of the whole Commonwealth of Virginia, not a separate identity, so those "parts behind the times", make up part of the voting bloc in the state legislature enacting the laws.

>

>Yes, you can still be legally fired for being gay in Virginia.

>Yes, I would be more cautious about being openly gay in

>Roanoke. Virginia ain't perfect, but neither is DC. DC can be

>a great place to live for gays, but so can places like

>Alexandria, and many other communities in the DC metro area.

 

Well, excuse me!!! but wasn't this an integral part of my original comments???? Roanoke is an openly gay area, also, if you reread my original post, and I never disputed the freedom to be openly gay in the northern Virginia, Roanoke, or Virginia Beach/Norfolk/Richmond areas of Virginia. My whole point was that you can enjoy the same openness of these areas in Virginia, but have legal recourse in DC, if your basic American rights are abrogated just for being gay. DC is a Democratic, liberal, gay friendly, gay rights place versus Virginia which is a Republican, conservative, mostly gay un-friendly, no legal gay rights place which is the home and birth place of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robinson, and which actively campaigns against the rights of gays and other minorities and continues to waste state police resources to bust guys for sucking a cock in an after hours park! Does DC do this, I think not!

 

As far as the Maryland suburbs of DC go, I only lived in Montgomery County for 3 years between 95 and 98, so I am not real familiar with their laws and policies. However, when my next door neighbors discovered I am gay, they used to harass the hell out of me including: spraying chemicals in my eyes, leaving dead animals on my doorstep, spray painting FUCKING FAGGOT all over my house, slashing the tires on my car, siccing their dogs on me, and shouting "fucking queer" at me when they saw me outside and threatening to blow my brains out. Lovely area to say the least, and complaints and visits by the Montgomery County cops many, results nil!

 

But then again, what the hell do I know, I was only born and raised here!

[Guest pshaw]

I guess we will have to agree to disagree about what constitutes "gay-friendly." To me it means being able to live as an openly gay man and not being afraid of suffering for it. I consider Arlington and Alexandria to be gay-friendly - even if the Commonwealth of Virginia would prefer it to be otherwise -and apparently many other gays and lesbians do as well. When I was younger, DC was the place where I lived and played. After a couple of street hold-ups, the murder of a friend, and many, many car break-ins, I said the hell with it and moved first to Arlington, then to Alexandria. (Yes, robberies and even murders do occur in Arlington and Alexandria, but with much much MUCH less frequency than they do in DC.)

 

My need for gay bars has diminished quite a bit as I have gotten older - the occasional drop-in at the gay get-togethers at Delray's Majestic Lounge is enough for me. I believe that Alexandria's late gay bar 808 King failed primarily because the gay patrons headed back to the bars in DC after the novelty wore off rather than because of any anti-gay backlash. If you wanted to go dancing, you still had to go to DC, so after awhile everyone headed back to the usual gay haunts. For those who need gay bars in close proximity, DC definitely wins hands down over NoVA.

 

As for sucking cock in parks, cops make arrests at P Street Beach just like they do at Bellehaven. I suspect that the U.S. Park Police probably make more arrests for this offense than DC, northern Virginia and suburban Maryland cops combined. (Is lack of prosection for sex in public really one of the criteria for gay-friendliness?) As for DC police harassment of gays, I don't think it is the norm for most DC cops, but I believe that even gay DC Councilman Jim Graham recently filed a complaint against the DC police. And it was only couple of years ago that DC lost an expensive lawsuit when DC policemen and EMTs spent more time telling fag jokes than trying to save the life of young transexual injured in a car accident.

 

I guess a lot of it comes down to age. If you are a young gay man, DC will probably appeal more. It's where most of the bars and dance clubs are, and it is the place to be seen, although the rents in the traditionally gay ghettos are getting prohibitively expensive. If you are older, the hassles of city life in general may wear you down (DC's laws may be gay friendly, but it has to be one of the most inefficiently run cities in the country) and the siren call of suburbia becomes more appealing. True, as I mentioned before, gay adoptions are banned by the Commonwealth, but my point about the gays with adopted children moving to the 'burbs is that they feel it is a safer environment for them and their children in spite of neanderthals in the state legislature.

 

I may not have been born here, but I have lived all of my adult (and openly gay) life in DC, Arlington and Alexandria, and have never regretted my ultimate choice of living in Alexandria. I don't live in fear of the police breaking down my door to enforce the anti-sodomy laws, I work for an employer who knew I was gay when he hired me and didn't give a rat's ass, and I feel a hell of a lot safer in Alexandria's Delray than I did when I lived on Swann Street, NW. That's gay-friendly enough for me.