Have you ever accidentally INSULTED an escort this way?

[bcohen7719]

Ever mention to an escort that you "knew this was just a fantasy"

and found that he got ENORMOUSLY insulted?

 

Is this bad manners on the client's part?

 

BC

[maxwellissmart]

Ever mention to an escort that you "knew this was just a fantasy"

and found that he got ENORMOUSLY insulted?

 

Is this bad manners on the client's part?

 

BC

 

I don't get insulted by this, as much as irritated if they go on and on and on. Sometimes clients like to tell me how I feel. I usually don't see them again.

[Guest countryboywny]

I could see how that might irritate an escort. It's like telling him, "I knew you were faking it". As a matter of fact, if I would make a remark like that, it would ruin my own experience, because I'm hoping the escort is having as much fun with me as I'm having with him.

[josephga]

sometimes people can ask to many questions lol. A massage client asked me once if I liked giving a hand release at the end of the massage or was it just part of business?

I told him the truth that it was just part of the business. He happen too book a few more times after that but could have very easily not have.

[robberbaron4u]

In my experience, I did have one escort who danced around the room in righteous indignation when I did not respond with an affirmation of his pronouncement that he was the "best" I had ever had; but, in my defense, he wasn't. . .

[bcohen7719]

In my experience, I did have one escort who danced around the room in righteous indignation when I did not respond with an affirmation of his pronouncement that he was the "best" I had ever had; but, in my defense, he wasn't. . .

 

RB:

 

You worded this more accurately than I did: the reaction is one of "righteous indignation," not that of being insulted. I am trying to figure out those reactions more deeply.

 

BC

[Bosguy]

I said someting once a long time ago that was meant as a compliment but was so badly phrased that it turned out to be an insult. After a truly icredible session, I said that it was the best time I ever had, in fact, it was an Oscar winning performance. He was very insulted but, thank God, he is a reasonable man who can discuss differences. Could have been the end of a great relationship, but we have developed a very solid, regular, and fun relationship and see each other regularly despite a substantial distance apart

 

Motto: Think before you speak

 

Boston Bill

[bcohen7719]

BB:

 

This is an excellent story/example, and well-told. But a question, here: if you tell an

actor that his performance was tremendous, he would take this as a compliment. With an escort,

does it seem that you must continually appear to buy the entire "act" without even a hint that you

know what it going on?

 

Are there any counterpart examples in real life that mimic this relationship?

 

BC

[robberbaron4u]

David Geffen and his cast-off young lover?

[gcursor]

The more I read the responses on the forum, the more I realize how difficult and precarious the client/escort relationship has evolved into. Say something wrong and some people won't call you again. Do something that you've done with other people and this guy might think you're a bit on the crazy side.

 

When I started hiring guys, I thought that perhaps I could find a book that would tell me the right and wrong things to do during an appointment but there isn't one. Everybody is different and it's almost to the point where you think that the less you say, the better it is but escorts would say that you're too quiet then.

 

Be very careful of what you think, say and do else you might become the basis for the next topic of conversation on the board.

[Diverdan]

I am always complimentary, regardless of my true feelins. I think it is because I recognize that either one of us can have a bad day/night. If I know in advance that it is not going to be a good time for what ever reason, I reschedule... but that is much more difficult for the other party. I did have someone who is well know, well reviewed, etc., cancel an appointment a couple of hours before hand, and said he was sick. I told him I appreciated his honesty and we rescheduled for another day. It was a fabulous time for both of us, and he gave me have his fee back in appreciation. Needless to see I have seen him frequently since that experience and it has allways been great... so think before you act, and recognize that your partner is human too.

DD

[+ Lucky]

Being always complimentary is not being honest. I am willing to overlook a lot, but I have told one masseur that he had no idea how to give a massage and I left. Yes, I paid him half.

Another guy who advertised as "extremely handsome" and "very good looking" I sent away because he was as plain as could be.

Guys who cannot get it up don't get a compliment, although I may be understanding.

And one super handsome guy had a fit when my lip touched his. Mind you, not even a kiss. And then he wanted a tip. I refused that.

[josephga]

I had this 22 year old college kid buy a massage few months ago. He explained on the phone that he was on a budget and wanted a therapeutic only deep tissue massage. He was very blunt when he showed up. He told me he had booked 2 other guys and hated the massage and walked out and that he walked out on anther for not having a table. His exact words were this ain't some shitty old body rub is it? if so tell me now. I said no it's not a shitty ass body rub here's my certification and license if you hate it I won't charge you. He is now a regular.

[GoodFella69]

Interesting question you pose, Lucky. Suggesting to an escort that it's all fantasy and that he's just pretending to enjoy the encounter is not cool. I think a pro rent-boy who truly cares about his clients would be justified if such a remark offended him. I can't imagine what could possibly be gained by saying such to any sex partner--escort or not. Just my opinion.

 

Goodfella

[down_to_business]

Ever mention to an escort that you "knew this was just a fantasy"

and found that he got ENORMOUSLY insulted?

 

Is this bad manners on the client's part?

 

BC

 

I think its a healthy attitude for the client to know that it was just a fantasy. I don't see the need or benefit to share that with the escort.

[bcohen7719]

Interesting question you pose, Lucky. Suggesting to an escort that it's all fantasy and that he's just pretending to enjoy the encounter is not cool. I think a pro rent-boy who truly cares about his clients would be justified if such a remark offended him. I can't imagine what could possibly be gained by saying such to any sex partner--escort or not. Just my opinion.

 

Goodfella

 

Goodfella:

 

Can you elaborate?

 

Once again, I noted that if you commended an actor for a great performance, he would take it as a compliment. If you let it slip out to an escort (not attack) that you know it is just a fantasy, why does it seem he would most likely burst out in what Robberbaron describes in one situation "righteous self-indignation"?

 

I'm not saying it is right; I'm not saying it is cool; I am pro-escort except for those who advertise using fake photographs. I'd like to hear more opinions as to why this is so psychologically offensive to the escort.

 

BC

[maxwellissmart]

The more I read the responses on the forum, the more I realize how difficult and precarious the client/escort relationship has evolved into. Say something wrong and some people won't call you again. Do something that you've done with other people and this guy might think you're a bit on the crazy side.

 

When I started hiring guys, I thought that perhaps I could find a book that would tell me the right and wrong things to do during an appointment but there isn't one. Everybody is different and it's almost to the point where you think that the less you say, the better it is but escorts would say that you're too quiet then.

 

Be very careful of what you think, say and do else you might become the basis for the next topic of conversation on the board.

 

Nah—it's still the same old "waiting-tables-only-you're-fucking-instead-of-waiting-tables" like it's always been in my neck of the woods. Some people are nice and fun, and some people are douchebags who deserve to be alone.

[nate_sf]

Just before Maxwell had mentioned waiting tables, I'd been trying to think of a parallel and had thought of waiters. If you were to say to your waiter or waitress, "Thanks, that was great, but I know you are just being nice to me because you are paid to and expecting a tip" the server would probably be irritated. You just don't say things like that to people. It also implies that they don't care about or like their customers.

 

Similarly, if you told your realtor "You're only spending all this time looking at houses and helping me with these contracts because you want a commission" they might be offended. True, they ultimately want to be paid for their services, but I know plenty of realtors who also genuinely care about their clients.

 

There has been tons of discussion on this board about whether escorts care and like their clients, or are only doing it for the money. I won't open that up here again, but like other service professions, for many it is probably both. I know most if not all of the escorts on this board genuinely care about their clients, but at the same time it is a means to and end. Adding sex and passion into it makes it more complicated. Your realtor may or may not care about you as an individual, your waiter may or may not care about you and take an interest in you. But if they do care, they could be insulted or hurt.

 

Having said all that, I don't think your guy should have reacted with "righteous indignation" to your comment. It seemed innocent enough, and it's a common concern so he might have handled it better.

[bcohen7719]

Nate:

 

Excellent parallels, wonderful advice, even if obvious to those more experienced

than myself. Many thanks!

 

BC

[cany10011]

To me, telling the escort that I know it is a fantasy would be stating the obvious. I would probably refrain from doing so unless it were in the heat of the moment when I would say,"what you're doing now is such a fantasy of mine...."

 

 

 

Nate:

 

Excellent parallels, wonderful advice, even if obvious to those more experienced

than myself. Many thanks!

 

BC

[JT Brooklyn]

I think its a healthy attitude for the client to know that it was just a fantasy. I don't see the need or benefit to share that with the escort.

 

Totally Agree!

[+ Tygerscent]

Bit of a presumption/assumption that the Escort is acting perhaps? It is also kind of expected that people might think that way about Escorts. That's okay~ It happens~

 

Tyger!

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[+ Charlie]

I know that every escort I hire is fantastically turned on by me (because he confuses me with the young Brad Pitt).

[+ Axiom2001]

You answered your own query. What's stated is certainly rude and disrespectful; thus it should never have even entered the mind of the client let alone being uttered!

 

NO, this has NOT happened to me and NEVER will. I don't view the experience as being a fantasy. I look at it as two men enjoying each other's company with each of

us receiving something in the end.

 

This past Friday [2.24.12] I was with a very hot, hot Azn "boi"/man in the San Francisco Bay area; I list his ethnicity because that is one highlight in his ad.

He enjoyed my company; I enjoyed his; it was more than a mere fantasy. If he chose NOT to see me for company and the recompense that follows, then we would

NOT have been together for FOUR TIMES within the past two months.

 

[He's hot and hung and has the most abundance of foreskin on his 7+ which I love to stimulate; he also possesses the "sweetest of personalities!]

[Michael Wayne]

I like being the fantasy and I would love to have some OSCARS. But I do enormously enjoy it all! http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1