Please Mr. Poster, Call Me Lucky

[+ Lucky]

Although my formal title here in Hooville is Prince Lucky, I rarely insist on it. I don't even expect to be called Mr. Lucky, since we are all among friends here. We are, aren't we?

 

But how about in other circumstances? Haven't you noticed the tendency from various businesses to call you by your first name these days? Whatever happened to the rule that you stuck with Mister unless you knew the person well, or had permission to be less formal? How many young kids call you by your first name these days?

 

Of course, I have a Juris Doctor degree as well, but no one calls me "Doctor." But how about my doctor? What gives him the right to call me Lucky when I have to call him Dr. Schmutz?

 

Or do I? This whole thread was started because I read this article in the NY Times today, by a doctor wondering why her patients were calling her by her first name:

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/15/health/15case.html?ref=science

[+ purplekow]

This is just an example of the informality of this society. I go to a local Italian restaurant and when I order out, the waiting area has a television with Italian TV. There is almost always a game show on and it is strikingly obvious that everyone there, the contestants, the hosts and the audience is dressed to the nines. Scanning the audience of a similar show here would reveal many people who didn't bother to change from the sweats in which they slept.

Now the question is raised as to when one crosses from informality to undisciplined. I do think that for the most part, we have crossed that line in the US and we are the worse for it.

[AdamSmith]

Standards are in general rout, no question.

 

Reminds me of one of the most delicious little bits about "Are You Being Served" -- the veddy British way they call one another by proper names: Mrs. Slocombe, Captain Peacock... And how that sets the stage for such frisson when, say, Mrs. Slocombe edges up to Capt. Peacock, bats eyes flirtatiously and murmers, "Oh, Steven..."!

 

As for myself, I hold with Betty Boothroyd when she was installed as the first female Speaker of the House of Commons. When asked how she wished to be addressed, she drew herself up, channeled Ethel Merman, and declared: "Call -- me -- Madam!"

[+ g56whiz]

Before DeGaulle kicked us out in 1967, I was a GI in Orleans France. As an avocational singer, I hooked up with a wonderful small choral group. I became friends with several members, was invited to their homes (a rarity among GI's) and would invite myself back to cook American food for them that was other than hamburgers. They actually liked my apple pie. With few exceptions my conversations were always held in my halting French. Upon my departure, they held a small banquet in my honor, and when I arrived I was shocked to find that they were all gabbing away in fluent English. When I asked what was going on, I was informed that they had decided upon meeting me that their English was better than my French so it was decided, for my sake, that they should all converse with me only in French. Then they pointed out that within two months of meeting me, they had switched from the "vous" form to the "tu" form and I had never picked up on their gesture of friendship. So much for formality . . . Vive La France!!!

[+ Charlie]

Shortly after the collapse of the Iron Curtain, I went to teach in a small city in what was then still Czechoslovakia. My American friend and co-worker and I always introduced ourselves as Joe and Charlie, and told everyone to call us that; to emphasize our friendliness, we called everyone by their first names. People seemed put off at first, but then decided that it was a strange American cultural tradition. Everyone there called one another Mr. or Mrs. So-and-sova, no matter how well they knew one another. Our landlady and her husband of thirty years still addressed one another as Mr. Vlcek and Mrs. Vlckova. Among themselves, rather than use our first names, they referred to us simply as "the American professors." Eventually, they began to be comfortable calling us Joe and Charlie, but today they still use the more formal pattern with one another.

 

My last name is unusual, so in this country people often address me as Mr. Charlie, which I recognize is an attempt at compromise between formality and informality, but it usually reminds me of the speech of house slaves in the Old South. And when a young phone solicitor asks to speak to "Charlie," I generally decide immediately not to contribute anything.

[Guest zipperzone]

It really bugs me when a teenager in a store or doctor's office calls me by my first name, especially if it's the 1st time I have met them. To me it shows lack of respect. We are not equals and it is wrong for them to assume that we are.

 

It basically goes back to indifferent parenting. If I had ever referred to one of my parents friends by their first name I would have been corrected on the spot.

[Guest ryan2552]

Prince Lucky, a excellent thread.

 

I find it interesting that when my doctor calls or emails me he refers to himself by his first name, yet I continue to call him Doctor. maybe its because I pay $3,600. a year for his executive medicine access & services that he feels its ok to dispense with the formality, I simply don't know.

 

However, I dislike being referred to as "dude" at a shop or fast food place by some kid. Now my friends can call me dude whenever they wish but coming from some 16 year old who treats me as if I'm his buddy from school doesn't go over well.

 

I think that the simple gesture of respect along with other like cultural shifts is the reason why there are so many social issues in the US. I doubt we will ever find the level of decency I grew up with again.

[Luv2play]

I have always been conscious of the use of first names in the workplace and elsewhere. I try to adhere to the rules I was raised with but, over time, have acquiesced somewhat to the more contemporary norms. One moves with the times.

 

But the other day I was brought up short by a young lady in a business situation who addressed me as "dear". I thought "oh God, I have become my parents"! I didn't react to her form of address. I just let it ride.

[+ newatthis]

...But the other day I was brought up short by a young lady in a business situation who addressed me as "dear". I thought "oh God, I have become my parents"! I didn't react to her form of address. I just let it ride.

How about when you're addressed as "sir," and you're not in a role-play situation? Seems to happen to me too often nowadays.

 

In the Montreal strip clubs, the dancers almost universally address me as "tu" -- not sure whether that's Canadian or the sexual ambiance of the clubs -- but every once in a while there's a cute, well-bred 18-year old who can't manage anything but "vous."

[+ glutes]

Although my formal title here in Hooville is Prince Lucky, I rarely insist on it.

 

I did it out of respect Lucky, and you deserve it!

[+ Lucky]

I do hate it, though, when cute young guys call me "Sir." At least, when they do it with their clothes on. If Kellan Lutz called me "Sir" I'd probably die.

 

Kellan Lutz Is The New Crotch Of Calvin Klein Chonies

 

http://dlisted.com/files/calvinlutzmarkymark.jpg

 

 

Fox411 is saying that Kellan Lutz, the other piece in Twatlight who isn't Taylor Lautner or RPattz, has just signed a deal to star in an underwear campaign for Calvin Klein. And not just any campaign. Sources say the hos at Calvin Klein want Kellan to remake Marky Mark's iconic campaign from the 90s that made genitals everywhere go weak. (This comes from Dlist)

 

The News finally catches up:

 

New Moon' star Kellan Lutz to step into Mark Wahlberg's famous underwear as new Calvin Klein model

 

BY Nicole Lyn Pesce

DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Friday, December 18th 2009, 4:00 AM

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2009/12/18/alg_lutz-wahlberg.jpg

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/fashion/2009/12/18/2009-12-18_new_moon_star_kellan_lutz_to_step_into_mark_wahlbergs_famous_underwear_as_new_ca.html#ixzz0a3pVp6Na

[BewareofNick]

This whole prince thing seemed kind of off to me, so I dusted off the old files and came across something interesting.

 

You see, way back when Hooboy was handing out titles, he crowned Lucky PRINCESS, not prince.

Sorry to out you there, pal, but a princess is a princess

[Lookin]

With all due respect . . .

 

If Your Esteemed Propitiousness will permit me to wholeheartedly concur with your position, I too decry the dearth of formality in modern-day America. From "Good evening, Dr. Lucky." to "Hello, Lucky." to "Hiya, Toots!" seems the all but inevitable progression.

 

And why shouldn't we be more civil? It lightens the procedings and raises the tone. Even among friends and housemates, good manners are always welcome.

 

"Mr. Lucky, will your new companion be joining you en suite?" sounds so much more genteel than "Hey, your trick's here!"

 

One doesn't need to be stilted about it either. Suiting the honorific to the occasion lends variety and boosts the impact of any social interaction:

 

 

Excuse me, Your Peevishness, but we're very short-staffed today.

 

If Your Pretentiousness will kindly step this way, I'll be happy to arrange taxi service for you.

 

May I extend my warmest gratitude to Your Royal Thoughtfulness for the extra fifty in my envelope last week!

 

 

If I may take a final liberty, here's to a more refined and respectful 2010 and a lot more Mister's! http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/champagne-088.gif

[Guest LeoWalker]

"Mr. Lucky, will your new companion be joining you en suite?" sounds so much more genteel than "Hey, your trick's here!"

 

LOL...

 

-------------------------------

 

Seriously, though, I love formality in many parts or at least an essence of etiquette. While reading The Count of Monte Cristo (who is my favorite fictional character), I always found it amusing when the hotel staff or so would ask of the patrons, "Do Their Excellencies desire...?" A couple of my friends refer to me periodically as "His Excellency"...one of my deans back in Academy, a black man, would jokingly call me, "Master ______", in a Southern drawl. And, still back in academy and university, most of my acquaintances knew and called me by my full name...at all times. It's only been recently with my advent into the gay community that I've been reduced to a physical object.

 

Regarding decorum, I love it--mostly, at least. While in Rome a month or so ago, I found myself having drinks with a French man and a few of his colleagues as well as some of their acquaintances (a woman present was from one of the oldest families in Rome). I appreciated that through their manners, the topic of my profession was not brought up once...until an American sitting at the table decided to ask me. Later, the French man went on for a while about how rude he felt that man had been. The concept of formal introductions is also very appealing to me...granted, when in a club, I'm usually the one to cold introduce myself to a complete stranger.

[Guest LeoWalker]

However, I dislike being referred to as "dude" at a shop or fast food place by some kid. Now my friends can call me dude whenever they wish but coming from some 16 year old who treats me as if I'm his buddy from school doesn't go over well.

 

Nearly two weeks ago I was in DC for a few days staying at the Hilton Washington. I've stayed at the Dupont Hotel (formerly the Jury) previously and loved their bar/cafe with a good view of the circle--very sleek and upbeat. So I went down there a couple times for drinks and meals. One time, it started to rain at night and so I decided instead of walking back in the rain I'd walk to the main entrance and have a taxi called for me. I was standing in the lobby with another couple who had called for one prior to myself. They moved outside to wait and I waited inside because it was cold. Eventually, I noticed that a couple other people were outside also apparently waiting for a taxi so I stepped outside to "hold my spot in the line". The first couple were off. When another taxi arrived for me I started to walk towards it and noticed another man walking towards it as well (the man was much older than me, probably in his late 30s). I figured I'd have to explain that I had been waiting inside prior to their arrival...which wasn't a big deal. What shocked me and kept this in my memory was how he said..."Dude...". I ignored the rest of what he said and was shocked that he addressed me in such a tone and with such a title coming from that hotel. I turned to him and politely said, "I had called it prior to you from inside". He backed away. Had he said something on the lines of, "Excuse me, Sir", I would not have been insulted. I can only hope that the woman he was with saw his bad manners and later scolded him.

 

I always address people I do not know as, "Sir". Amazingly, I can't think of a time where I've had to address a woman to gain her attention.

[+ Lucky]

So the LA Times has been bugging me all week with phone calls, despite my asking a long time ago to be put on their do not call list. Today I asked the guy again to do that. He kept calling me Lucky, even though I said he should call me Mr. Lucky, and I actually called him Mr. Harvey. So, even when you flat out tell him to call you Mister, it doesn't sink in. Of course, it didn't sink in when I asked them to put me on the do not call list in the first place.

 

So when he finally confirmed that he had placed me on the do not call list, he tried to get one more question in..."Lucky, so how did we lose your business?"