When a masseur’s personal life overlaps with yours

[+ sniper]

5 hours ago, 7829V said:

Thanks for the feedback. 

Yeah, he’s a personal trainer and massage therapist, so I’m sure she knows about that part of his work. Whether she knows about the extras, I have no idea, and honestly I’d rather not know. 😂

Did you initially find him through something like rentmasseur, or at a legit spa looking for normal massage and he took you private and things just progressed?

[+ 7829V]

23 minutes ago, sniper said:

Did you initially find him through something like rentmasseur, or at a legit spa looking for normal massage and he took you private and things just progressed?

I originally found him on Thumbtack, back when they still allowed massage therapist ads. They don’t anymore. Things just gradually progressed over time, and now our sessions are pretty sensual and almost border on sexual.

[Becket]

8 hours ago, sniper said:

I presume this guy is actually licensed and thus his gf knows he does that. But unless she is "in the biz" herself she probably doesn't know about the extras. And if she does she doesn't seem to care, so don't worry about it.

I once had an erotic massage at the home of the therapist and the girlfriend/wife/SO was in the other room with the baby. Since neither of them had any problem with it I tried not to be totally weird-ed out. But I did feel awkward. Still had a good time, though.

[Thelatin]

Everyone is different.  I've seen a new guy a few times, super nice.  Last weekend we partied with his sister and her husband lol.  I look forward to meeting up with everyone again.

[Rod Hagen]

I know this subject is solved.  I had good relationships with the wives of two of my very very close clients.  Both clients died, one of whom is having a heavenly birthday in a few days, and I'm still in contact with both wonderful women.   Personal lives and professional lives can gel well, no reason to be weirded out.  

[polysome]

On 9/4/2026 at 4:10 AM, Becket said:

I once had an erotic massage at the home of the therapist and the girlfriend/wife/SO was in the other room with the baby. Since neither of them had any problem with it I tried not to be totally weird-ed out. But I did feel awkward. Still had a good time, though.

I once had a massage and the masseur´s dog strolled in - I thought that was weird 😅

[Aamir]

On 9/3/2026 at 1:37 PM, KensingtonHomo said:

At the risk of this being an unpopular opinion, I would be very uncomfortable having a sexual encounter with a man whose partner is in the dark. If she doesn't know, he is betraying her trust. I don't know what you do with him - but having come of age at the peak of the AIDS crisis, transparency in relationships is critically important. I don't care what arrangements people make - open relationship, play together, throuple - it's all good to me. But cheating on a partner, particularly engaging in acts that can transmit STIs (maybe you don't - it's unclear), is just wrong. It's why I've never understood people can cheat on their spouses with friends or even siblings. I'd just feel horrible the whole time. 

1st, i agree. 2nd. if i found out a guy was cheating on his partner with his sibling... 😈