When you don't want to believe the writing on the wall.

[viewing ownly]

Summer of last year, an amazing session (to me, amazing) with someone I'd never hired before. He said he'd "definitely let me know" when he's in town again. I see many different guys, so I was a bit surprised that he was in my town this year several months back - he lives quite far away - and I didn't know that he was here.

I reach out to him recently when I see his listing to return many months from now, as I love to plan way ahead, and I get this : "We'll see, but I'm staying in a home of someone I don't know very well, so I'm not sure if it will work". Does this seem like a peculiar reply to a prospective repeat client, or does this read between the lines to you like it does to me, "Cherish the memory, dude 'cause it's a no". I can at least be grateful that I'm able to click with precious few that I see, but the rejections en masse for a repeat are a real bummer.

[jmichaeliii]

2 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

Summer of last year, an amazing session (to me, amazing) with someone I'd never hired before. He said he'd "definitely let me know" when he's in town again. I see many different guys, so I was a bit surprised that he was in my town this year several months back - he lives quite far away - and I didn't know that he was here.

I reach out to him recently when I see his listing to return many months from now, as I love to plan way ahead, and I get this : "We'll see, but I'm staying in a home of someone I don't know very well, so I'm not sure if it will work". Does this seem like a peculiar reply to a prospective repeat client, or does this read between the lines to you like it does to me, "Cherish the memory, dude 'cause it's a no". I can at least be grateful that I'm able to click with precious few that I see, but the rejections en masse for a repeat are a real bummer.

Try offering to set up a hotel to meet and if it is no again, you likely have the answer.

[SecretProvider]

Or maybe he is staying in the home of someone and not able to see clients on this trip. Perhaps he doesn't want to plan many months ahead. I don't know of any providers who like to plan that far ahead. 

[MarlowewolraM]

21 hours ago, SecretProvider said:

maybe he is staying in the home of someone and not able to see clients on this trip.

Exactly. Why not take him at his word, and then carefully reach out again at a future date? He may very well be staying at the home of a client, and unable to get away to meet someone else, or unable to commit this early to meeting someone else.

Just be respectful in your messages and always make it clear that you read his previous messages and understood them. In other words, you can wait until closer to the day and say "Hi, just checking in about your travel plans. I understand that you'll be staying with someone and might not have the flexibility to meet me" etc.

Once in the past I overthought a provider's offhand comment, and decided he wasn't interested in meeting me again. After I re-read his messages sometime later, I realized I had read all of that into why he wrote. Happy I went through that because he turned out to be one of my favorite regulars, and it taught me to read carefully and not to assume intent, particularly in texting where there's so little nuance and context.

Good luck!