Dear God so many flakes

[pubic_assistance]

On 6/29/2025 at 5:08 PM, Nightowl said:

. If the flakes are in DC, there could be a couple of reasons. Lots of people are getting suddenly fired there nowadays and funds may no longer be available,

That doesnt make ANY sense. 

Does eveyone in DC get fired hours after contacting an escort ? 🤔

[Nightowl]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

That doesnt make ANY sense. 

Does eveyone in DC get fired hours after contacting an escort ? 🤔

It does indeed make sense.  I’m talking about federal workers.  At present they are being fired by the thousands.  No more job, no more disposable income for escorts.  As for hiring an escort, no, you don’t get fired for the act of contacting or hiring.  You could get fired if you’re in a sensitive federal position and your employer finds out you paid to fuck him.   It’s illegal and if you are in a security-vetted position, it could get you fired.  

[marylander1940]

On 6/28/2025 at 1:58 PM, Daniel84 said:

Seriously, this is getting old. I've had six people bail on me. It's always the same thing. They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

What advice can you guys give me to weed out the flakes more?

we're discreet not discrete, you're certainly discrete because of your fine looks. 

10 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

That doesnt make ANY sense. 

Does eveyone in DC get fired hours after contacting an escort ? 🤔

Agreed!

Some people who have a higher clearance must be more careful than others about who they "mingle" with... but unless they're asked and lie about it, they can live their lives without problems. 

[SirBillybob]

I would think that a substantial majority of those severanced, however much that has influenced the aggregate of local disposable funds, would be allocating some portion to fun before catching the Greyhound to Palookaville. And to have a brief respite from the ordeal. I have had to fight for employment in my day, and took the lead ‘pro bono’ on gender wage equity activism for my peers involving millions of dollars that put me at odds with the higher-ups that had to then re-budget, but cannot imagine being suddenly jobless over the precipitous winds of change and needing to tighten the belt that was previously frequently loosened. I’m not sure how the totality of fed employees is nationally distributed. 

Edited July 1 by SirBillybob

[+ Just Chuck]

On 6/28/2025 at 5:13 PM, pubic_assistance said:

There are a lot of closeted gay men who contact masseurs and escorts and follow through a booking up to a point, but then get cold feet (or they finished jerking off thinking about it). then disappear. Its an unfortunate risk of the trade. Always try to foster as many regulars as possible.

I've never been a pro. But, I've had several people (men, women, and non-binary people) reach out to me on a couple of sites asking me for a date who message with me several times and set a time and place and flake on me.  I've seen it even after I've gotten a last minute, "I'm on my way. ETA 14-minutes" message.

I think a lot of people are just getting turned on by the online presence and push the fantasy a little further by making contact and then masturbate instead of following through. 

 

[Daniel84]

Yeah, I think it's easier to get fake numbers, which means more people are just messing around and wasting everyone's time. I guess it's a power thing, right? I just had a client ask for nudes.. he would only book if he sees them. ( He was booking a massage) I told him yes I would love to send you nudes with a confirmation of the appointment time and a $25 deposit.. guess who stopped texting me lol 

[SirBillybob]

33 minutes ago, Daniel84 said:

Yeah, I think it's easier to get fake numbers, which means more people are just messing around and wasting everyone's time. I guess it's a power thing, right? I just had a client ask for nudes.. he would only book if he sees them. ( He was booking a massage) I told him yes I would love to send you nudes with a confirmation of the appointment time and a $25 deposit.. guess who stopped texting me lol 

Maybe somebody mentioned it but your location is DC and you do incall but home studio is delineated as Boston. You might revise to: home studio in Boston; xyz facilities when travelling. Nothing of basic content in an ad should be ambiguous. For example, the need for a prospective client to ask whether only outcall is possible in DC due to having seen your incall reference is specific to Boston, or to ask about the incall specs in DC. I also suggest simply European background as clients can still project what might be an origin-based fantasy preference not constricted to a narrow region. Bonne chance!

Edited July 1 by SirBillybob

[Daniel84]

12 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

Maybe somebody mentioned it but your location is DC and you do incall but home studio is delineated as Boston. You might revise to: home studio in Boston; xyz facilities when travelling. Nothing of basic content in an ad should be ambiguous. For example, the need for a prospective client to ask whether only outcall is possible in DC due to having seen your incall reference is specific to Boston, or to ask about the incall specs in DC. I also suggest simply European background as clients can still project what might be an origin-based fantasy preference not constricted to a narrow region. Bonne chance!

I made some updates to my ads on RM but not Masseurfinder.com . I am being very careful about making any edits, as the MF utilizes AI to determine if a word is prohibited. A permanent ban could result from using a banned word. They also have no customer service to appeal a decision. 

[marylander1940]

On 6/28/2025 at 6:13 PM, pubic_assistance said:

There are a lot of closeted gay men who contact masseurs and escorts and follow through a booking up to a point, but then get cold feet (or they finished jerking off thinking about it). then disappear. Its an unfortunate risk of the trade. Always try to foster as many regulars as possible.

Agreed!

Even Doctors and realtors get no shows! 

In most cases guys who behave like this are likely to be insecure, out of shape, living in their mom's basement having a daily adrenaline rush. 

[SirBillybob]

1 hour ago, Daniel84 said:

I made some updates to my ads on RM but not Masseurfinder.com . I am being very careful about making any edits, as the MF utilizes AI to determine if a word is prohibited. A permanent ban could result from using a banned word. They also have no customer service to appeal a decision. 

I was referring to the RMass ad linked in your signature, not Massfind .

[pubic_assistance]

18 hours ago, Nightowl said:

It does indeed make sense

We were talking about people flaking.

I am not casting doubt on people coming and going in DC. THAT happens after every change of administration. I am saying that I dont think that many people are losing their job simultaneous to having contacted an escort so that they need to suddenly cancel.

[Nightowl]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

We were talking about people flaking.

I am not casting doubt on people coming and going in DC. THAT happens after every change of administration. I am saying that I dont think that many people are losing their job simultaneous to having contacted an escort so that they need to suddenly cancel.

It’s hard to continue this discussion without getting into politics so I won’t.

[jackcali]

On 6/28/2025 at 1:58 PM, Daniel84 said:

Seriously, this is getting old. I've had six people bail on me. It's always the same thing. They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

What advice can you guys give me to weed out the flakes more?

Going back to the original post.  I'm sorry this is happening to you, but here is a suggestion from a discreet client.

1.  Be particularly cautious with guys on RM who are new to the app or haven't set up a profile.  I added a profile years ago mostly not to have to answer so may questions from providers.  Discretion has nothing to do with answering some basic questions (height, weight, age, interests) on RM.  

2  Suggest earlier in the conversation (rather than at confirmation) that communication be moved off the RM platform to text.  It's easier and, if you use an encrypted platform like Whatsapp, it's also more secure.  Most of the time, providers ask me to switch to text at some point.  Some even have auto-responses in RM that ask for that after my first message.  

3.  If the person says he's discreet, you can either suggest encryption or suggest that he get a burner phone or an app that gives him the equivalent on his phone.  Anyone who wants to remain anonymous and is serious about hiring escorts needs a burner.  

4.  I think those burner apps can cycle through new numbers frequently, though I've never seen the need for that.  I've used the same burner number for more than a decade, so I may be discreet but I have an on-line history connected to my hiring.  

I don't think the above will eliminate flakes, but I think it will increase the likelihood that someone isn't a flake because it requires them to do some work and/or preparation before they reach out to you.  Good luck!

Edited July 2 by jackcali
clarity

[Gilfson]

On 6/28/2025 at 10:58 AM, Daniel84 said:

Seriously, this is getting old. I've had six people bail on me. It's always the same thing. They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

What advice can you guys give me to weed out the flakes more?

Yeah I get constant flakes and my rule is if you flake on me after we’ve already set a time and day. Then in order to for me to set another date with you.  you will be paying a deposit if not. Message me at the time you want to meet and hope I’m free 

[Nightowl]

46 minutes ago, Gilfson said:

Yeah I get constant flakes and my rule is if you flake on me after we’ve already set a time and day. Then in order to for me to set another date with you.  you will be paying a deposit if not. Message me at the time you want to meet and hope I’m free 

That’s a reasonable approach.  If they flaked once, it’s a risk to schedule them a second time without some kind of remuneration if they do it again.

[savantsav]

Having said that as a client having a provider flake on you after you douched should be punishable by jail 😆

I don't mind when providers need to move the appointment but I do prefer at least 4-5 hours notice before our meet. I've had providers literally text me 5 mins before our appointment "Can we move it an hour?" like what? NOW 5 mins before our scheduled time is when you ask to move it?! I also have a list of providers who have said yes to the time and date, I confirm literally an hour before and they say yes and then just don't show up nor answer any text after. To Jail with those haha

[marylander1940]

On 7/2/2025 at 7:52 PM, Nightowl said:

That’s a reasonable approach.  If they flaked once, it’s a risk to schedule them a second time without some kind of remuneration if they do it again.

and it's never the first time they flake or simply don't show up. 

[Colton]

On 7/1/2025 at 10:04 AM, SirBillybob said:

I think it's easier to get fake numbers,

This is probably the best reason to never accept an only-RM booking.  If they aren't willing to put in the effort to get a burner number, they are unlikely to show up.  

 

3 hours ago, savantsav said:

I don't mind when providers need to move the appointment but I do prefer at least 4-5 hours notice before our meet. I've had providers literally text me 5 mins before our appointment "Can we move it an hour?" like what?

I think this should go both ways, and in both cases, rescheduling more than once would be annoying to the other party.  But rescheduling increases in likelihood when a booking is made more than a few days in advance, which almost all providers say they prefer. 

[Travpilo]

That sucks for providers for sure.  I hate hearing it because it can cause issues for clients as well.. as in casting doubt on intentions with a new provider.  As such, I have a full profile on my RM account, and always text outside of the platform after initially touching base. 

Unfortunately, my job is my biggest issue... I travel all over the country.. but every once in a while, I'm hit by the issues with the aviation system (I fly for a major airline), and as such, sometimes I have to cancel.  It's only happened 2 times in quite a few years, but it sucks. I always explain why (and feel like a flake.. I feel horrible for it) and have so far had good responses.  As such, I get somewhat gun-shy about setting something up too far in advance when I'm on the road.  I guess I'll just deal with it as I can. 

When I was new to this, I was VERY nervous about the whole thing.  Letting a stranger into my life for a sudden level of intimacy/sex was both exciting and frightening.  I still never flaked, though.. just never booked! 

Hoping it gets better for all providers!

[italianboyph]

I feel you and it does take its toll on you. I've had several clients who will say they're on their way and then not even show up. Even with meetings that were planned ahead of time and you remind them.