Non-Tipper

[Ali Gator]

About three years ago, my PCP installed a new device for patients to insert out credit card to pay our co-pay (my co-pay is $20). Before that, I would hand it to the receptionist when checking in, and she would run the card through on her end. Since COVID, they installed a 'glass petition' between receptionist and patient, and eventually made other changes to have 'no contact' with each other - this was the latest change.

About a month ago I went for my visit, and the receptionist prompts me to insert my credit card for the $20 copay. Once I do, another screen comes up and says 'Gratuity ?' and it gives me these choices: 15%, 20% , 25% or 'custom'. I press the button below 'custom' and enter '0'. I'm not new at this.

Now when I first encountered this in early 2022, when it was first installed, I questioned the receptionist - who does the tip go to ? The receptionist (for checking to see if my contact info and insurance is up to date) or the doctor - whom I haven't seen yet and can't tip on service I haven't had ?  She laughed and said that the 'IT specialist' hadn't gotten around to re-programming the device since it was installed a few weeks prior, so she apologized. Fine.

Here it is three years later, and the IT specialist still hasn't gotten around to deleting this prompt ???  OR, are they happy that some patients are falling for this and tipping the receptionist ? There is no doubt in my mind that patients are too embarrassed to ask about this (thinking this is the 'new normal') and pressing one of the tip amounts. 

[Ali Gator]

On 4/27/2025 at 12:36 PM, NipLuvr212 said:

Very simply stated:

I had a 4 handed session with two guys. It was good. I paid the rate. One of them says to me "where's the tip?"

I left and never came back.

I would have responded, "The tip is already included in the high rate you charge."

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 4/27/2025 at 8:52 AM, Savage D said:

Servers are different though due to how they get paid.  Tips are figured into their hourly pay so they often make less than minimum wage, which I find horrifying.  Definitely tip every time, 20% (unless the service was truly bad) Thanks for the 25% norm, I wasn’t aware.

In 7 states, including California and Nevada, laws don't allow the "tip credit" and servers are paid at least the full minimum wage plus keep all tips. So, based on the logic of tipping sub-minimum wage employees, should a customer not tip his server in California or Nevada but continue to tip his server in Colorado or Nebraska? 

I do agree with tipping a service employee whose retail price is set by his employer (regardless of his wage , which is unknown to me) and not tipping an owner or independent contractor who sets his own retail rate.

[ICTJOCK]

I think most of the answers here are helpful.   To be  a "tip" is at the discretion of the client.   As a provider,  if I see a regular client and know I'm doing a good job,  a tip is certainly appreciated,  but not absolutely required.   I have different situations.   One client has to reschedule quite a bit and always gives me a tip as his way of thanking me for extra effort toward making that booking happen.  He's told me so.    I have other regular clients that tip me simply because they know I do my very best to see they are satisfied.    That's important to me.      I am not offended if a client doesn't tip me and know it's more a financial decision.

[LookingAround]

On 4/27/2025 at 10:05 AM, Ali Gator said:

Though I was in the food industry in my much younger days (high school and college) and for a brief stint helping a friend 'hosting' in her restaurant she managed while I was 'between' jobs in 2012-13, I have no ties to it any longer.  However, around 2013, I joined a FB group focused on restaurant servers and their daily trials and tribulations of being a server. 

What I have gathered over the years is this: 

Every single server in every single restaurant is the best server in the world. IF the customer has had a bad experience in the restaurant, it's either the cook's fault, the manager's fault, other customer's fault, or (99% of the time) YOUR fault. It's never, ever the server's fault (they accept no blame at all for your bad experience), yet most customers don't tip them 25% or more. (They have to settle for 18-20% instead, which they find insulting).

Yes, 25% or more is now the standard, according to servers. And for really exceptional service (which they all believe they deliver to every customer during every shift they work) 30 - 35% should be tipped. And this goes for 'take-out' service, too ! The server who grabs the pizza from the pass-through to the counter in front of you ? Yup, 25% minimum for all they've done. 

I must say, it's an entertaining, yet educational, experience being on this page and seeing how the service industry sees the customers.

This is ridiculous and inaccurate. 20% is the standard generous tip. 

[Ali Gator]

9 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

This is ridiculous and inaccurate. 20% is the standard generous tip. 

In 2025, this is what servers are expecting. 

[arnie]

I don't tip providers, no discussion.  As an independent contractor they set their rates which I have to assume they feel is the value of the services they render and I don't bargain either.  This does not apply to masseurs at a chain massage place or spa at a hotel where the owner sets the rates and takes a big cut.  As to the comment about a 30% tip for restaurant servers, dream on.  If you don't like my 18% too bad.  Your pay is not my business.  Honestly if you feel your pay is not enough get a better paying job.  But as I live in Las Vegas, when tipping $60+ for two is common, and I don't care how many ways the tips are split. I am not worried about your renumeration.  I actually tip higher rate at Denny's where they work just as hard for much lower tips. - is there a difference between a $90 steak and a $15 egg platter besides that the former requires the extra effort of you being given a weapon to slice it?  

 

[ShortCutie7]

3 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

In 2025, this is what servers are expecting. 

Yep, my tipping in restaurants has changed a bit over the last few years:

20% the pre-tax amount pre-Covid.

22% the post-tax amount when we were coming out of quarantine.

Currently I tip around 20-23% the post-tax amount.  As @arnie indicated, I’ll tip a higher rate than that for an inexpensive meal (not the server’s fault if I order the cheapest item on the menu instead and of the most expensive).

Edited May 5 by ShortCutie7
Punctuation

[Ali Gator]

This weekend my friend and I tried a new Mexican restaurant not far from my neighborhood. I've been wanting to try it since it opened back in January.

The young lady who served us was fine, though she didn't know much about the food on the menu when asked as she was taking our orders (and the menu was not extensive). She was pleasant enough, though. We didn't order drinks from the bar, we just drank water (neither of us drink alcohol). The food was fine, but pricey compared to other Mexican restaurants in the area. We figured we'd maybe return in the future but not 'rush back'.  

When we got our bill at the end of the meal, this was at the bottom of the check which was added to our total (by the way, we paid cash not credit card):

Kitchen gratuity: 4%

Bar gratuity: 4%

City Recycling Fee: 3%

Credit Card Fee: 4%

So an additional 15% was added to our bill.

Kitchen gratuity? Since when are the cooks (who, by law, must be making at least the minimum wage, so they are NOT working off tips like servers are) getting gratuities ?  

Bar gratuity ? We ordered nothing from the bar, so why are we being charged a gratuity for the bartender ?

City recycling fee? Why are we being charged extra for the business to dispose of their recyclables ? Those are standard utility fees which should have been added into every meal before the restaurant opened. Why not just charge us separately for 'electrical fee', 'water fee' and 'internet fee' on the bill, too ?

Credit Card Fee?  We're paying cash. Why are we automatically being charged a CC fee ? 

NO WAY were we about to add another 20% tip to our bill after already being charged an additional 15% in nonsense.  We called the server over and asked her to remove the fees since none of them applied to us. She giggled, and said 'the manager' would have to do it, and she wasn't there 'at this moment'. (Keep in mind, NONE of these 'additional fees' are posted anywhere in the restaurant nor on the menu before we ordered - we would've walked out).

So we ended up leaving her 5% - and explained to her that once the manager returned and took off the extra 15% in 'gratuities and fees' we were erroneously charged, she will give it to the server and she will have her full 20% from us. She looked a little confused, but I'm not going to leave an extra 35% on top of what was owed for the expensive meals. 

Later, I was curious to read some of the reviews on Yelp and other sites (I never read them before I try a new place - I want to go with an open mind). EVERYONE complained about the 'extra fees and gratuities' added to the bill (most did what I did, which surprised me) and warned others of this 'extortion'.  They also said if you speak to the manager (the owner's daughter) she does nothing about it. 

 

[LookingAround]

On 5/4/2025 at 5:07 PM, Ali Gator said:

In 2025, this is what servers are expecting. 

No it isn't. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

17 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

This weekend my friend and I tried a new Mexican restaurant not far from my neighborhood. I've been wanting to try it since it opened back in January.

The young lady who served us was fine, though she didn't know much about the food on the menu when asked as she was taking our orders (and the menu was not extensive). She was pleasant enough, though. We didn't order drinks from the bar, we just drank water (neither of us drink alcohol). The food was fine, but pricey compared to other Mexican restaurants in the area. We figured we'd maybe return in the future but not 'rush back'.  

When we got our bill at the end of the meal, this was at the bottom of the check which was added to our total (by the way, we paid cash not credit card):

Kitchen gratuity: 4%

Bar gratuity: 4%

City Recycling Fee: 3%

Credit Card Fee: 4%

So an additional 15% was added to our bill.

Kitchen gratuity? Since when are the cooks (who, by law, must be making at least the minimum wage, so they are NOT working off tips like servers are) getting gratuities ?  

Bar gratuity ? We ordered nothing from the bar, so why are we being charged a gratuity for the bartender ?

City recycling fee? Why are we being charged extra for the business to dispose of their recyclables ? Those are standard utility fees which should have been added into every meal before the restaurant opened. Why not just charge us separately for 'electrical fee', 'water fee' and 'internet fee' on the bill, too ?

Credit Card Fee?  We're paying cash. Why are we automatically being charged a CC fee ? 

NO WAY were we about to add another 20% tip to our bill after already being charged an additional 15% in nonsense.  We called the server over and asked her to remove the fees since none of them applied to us. She giggled, and said 'the manager' would have to do it, and she wasn't there 'at this moment'. (Keep in mind, NONE of these 'additional fees' are posted anywhere in the restaurant nor on the menu before we ordered - we would've walked out).

So we ended up leaving her 5% - and explained to her that once the manager returned and took off the extra 15% in 'gratuities and fees' we were erroneously charged, she will give it to the server and she will have her full 20% from us. She looked a little confused, but I'm not going to leave an extra 35% on top of what was owed for the expensive meals. 

Later, I was curious to read some of the reviews on Yelp and other sites (I never read them before I try a new place - I want to go with an open mind). EVERYONE complained about the 'extra fees and gratuities' added to the bill (most did what I did, which surprised me) and warned others of this 'extortion'.  They also said if you speak to the manager (the owner's daughter) she does nothing about it. 

 

I would have given the waitress or host exactly enough cash for the bill before the 15% fees, and told the restaurant why I'm not coming back.  Let them call the cops if they want to try to get the other 15% in "fees" from me.  I have done that before at establishments that have the nerve to try this (it's only ever happened to me in California).  I've seen "electricity fee" at a breakfast restaurant in San Diego in the 1990s, and "utility fee" at a pizza parlor in Palm Springs in the 2010s.

I have seen an establishment add its credit card fee into the same line as the sales tax.  Thank goodness I always double check the accuracy of the sales tax and discovered it, and pointed it out to the waiter who had it removed because I always pay cash.

Edited May 6 by Vegas_Millennial

[arnie]

On 5/4/2025 at 6:59 PM, ShortCutie7 said:

Yep, my tipping in restaurants has changed a bit over the last few years:

20% the pre-tax amount pre-Covid.

22% the post-tax amount when we were coming out of quarantine.

Currently I tip around 20-23% the post-tax amount.  As @arnie indicated, I’ll tip a higher rate than that for an inexpensive meal (not the server’s fault if I order the cheapest item on the menu instead and of the most expensive).

I really don't care what they are "expecting".  Actually I was just at what is oxymoronic, a moderate priced restaurant on the Vegas Strip- $40 entrees,  and for a party of 7 they added the tip, as expected, and only 18%.   And I strongly object to using the post tax amount for the basis.   Sales tax is for the state, as someone noted, businesses don't charge it, they collect it for the state,  and it has no relationship to the meal served.    I was talking about tipping more at Denny's but does the server work any harder to serve you a $50 bottle of wine than and $500 bottle, or do they just have a bigger grin because of the tip they expect and had how much work is that anyway and you are going to tip $100 to bring a bottle to the table.?   The whole system is insane.     

[Ali Gator]

I remember two servers at one of my favorite local casual restaurants. My friend and I used to meet for dinner there after work every Wednesday, and then again sometimes on Friday nights.

Every Wednesday, for some reason, we were always stuck with a woman named Linda who was about ten years older than us. She would come to the table, make no conversation, no greeting, etc. and take our order. She wouldn't even make a comment she recognized from being there in her booth each week. (And we were easy customers - ordered, ate, never a complaint, and on our way). That would be the only time she came to the table - to take our order and bring us our Cokes. Food runners would bring us our food, and she never came by to check on us (food ok? need a refill on your beverages? would you like dessert ?).  When it came time to drop the check off, then she turned on the charm - suddenly she wanted to have a cheerful conversation, smile, laugh, etc. Again, this was right when she was dropping off the check and we were going to have to tip her - and we caught on to what she was doing ("Forget the fact that I ignored you, my regulars, for the past ninety minutes and only put on 'the kindness' when it's time to tip me"). We would leave her 10-15% (we usually left 25% - and this was in the 2000s). Then I realized, 'let's ask the host NOT to sit in her section tonight' - and that was even better.

 

On Friday nights, my same friend and I would go for appetizers, and she would order a martini for the end of the work week (I stuck to soda). There was an older 'creepy' waiter who was there for a long time, and obviously in love with my friend - he fell all over himself to run to our table and talk with her (she knew what he was up to). She was strikingly beautiful, dressed sexy, and knew how to flirt with men.  He remembered the martini she ordered each week, and would bring it over before she ordered it with his tongue hanging out. He would be at our table all night, making sure we had everything we needed, and kept talking to my friend - he was in love with her, but we were glad he gave us attentive service. 

One Friday night, she was out of town so I met another friend after work. This other friend was a decade older than her, and rather frumpy and ordinary looking. He saw me at the table first, ran over with a big smile and put a martini on the table, and was shocked to see this other woman coming out of the bathroom and joining me tonight. My 'new' friend was perplexed by the martini waiting for her - she never drank. 

So what does this server do ? He looks at her, looks at me, frowns and asks "Where's the beautiful girl you meet here on Friday nights ?"  I responded, "That's not a nice thing to say."  He was so angry that 'the beautiful girl' wasn't here' - he took the  $15 martini away and ignored our table all night. It was insulting. We left him no tip.

When the check came, we noticed he had added the martini in the check and then removed it - underneath it he wrote 'customer changed her mind'. That wasn't true at all. I grabbed the 'customer copy' of the check before we left.

The next afternoon I called the restaurant and asked for the manager. I told him exactly what happened the night before - gave him all the info he needed off the check to let him know what I was talking about. I told him he insulted the guest I was with, and also we never ordered a martini and 'changed our mind' - it was his error.  I explained because of how horrible h was, we left no tip.  The manager was very nice and understanding. He did say, "I'm not surprised, we've had a lot of complaints about him lately."  We skipped our Friday nights there for the rest of the summer, and returned in the fall. The waiter no longer worked there. 

[MscleLovr]

5 hours ago, arnie said:

does the server work any harder to serve you a $50 bottle of wine than and $500 bottle, or do they just have a bigger grin because of the tip they expect and had how much work is that anyway and you are going to tip $100 to bring a bottle to the table.?   The whole system is insane.     

I like what you wrote @arnie 

For me, this is one of the reasons why life in Europe is more pleasant and civilised. Tax by law is included in prices. Service (or gratuity) in restaurants is almost always included at a set percentage in different countries. I only tip in cash for truly exceptional service (or in my favourite restaurants where I eat on a daily basis and they often send me ‘treats’ like an extra course, free dessert or a glass of wine)