Strictly therapeutic masseurs on gay sites - yay or nay?

[Simon Suraci]

2 minutes ago, BuffaloKyle said:

So basically you're telling us @Simon Suraci to hire the 50 year old out of shape guy and not the young adonis hunk that you are 🥵

Haha, I’m neither. I’m in the middle in terms of age and looks. There are waaay better looking men out there. Being experienced or on the older end of the spectrum doesn’t make you good necessarily, and being attractive doesn’t make you bad either. What you want is the best of both: a truly skilled professional masseur (priority #1) …. that happens to be somewhere in the neighborhood of what you find attractive (priority #2). Maybe not your top pick for escort services who “must” have a certain look or body type for you to be into him. All I’m saying is looks should be secondary if you’re one of the few clients who truly values an excellent massage. 

Basically, think with your big head, then your little one.

In my case I have two big heads, so what’s a guy to do? 🤣 (see my private gallery)

[+ Jamie21]

19 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

11) Do you like the guy as a person? Find what you can about him online and see if you would click as human beings. Do you respect him? If he has an interview, read it. 

This one is very important. All those things @Simon Suraci said are helpful but I think this one is a must have. You’re going to get intimate with the guy you hire (you hope… if you’re hiring for a sensual massage) so you have to feel comfortable with him. Doesn’t matter if he looks like a Greek God and he’s a fabulous masseur: if his personality or behaviour makes you anxious it’s a waste of time.

If you’re hiring just for the quality of technical massage with no intention of any sensual or erotic elements then I’d say you don’t even need pictures. Just go by his or her style and qualifications. I’ve had great technical massages from masseuses and masseurs but it’s very different from a great sensual massage and I’d use very different criteria to make my selection. 

 

[jeezifonly]

@Simon Suraci

Nails it. 🤩

Due Diligence before. 

Think GBBO:

The Signature  
The Technical   
The Show Stopper

Know how you’re judging the bake. 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

I can't believe some clients have such restraint with a handsome muscle guy working on them...

Restraint is practiced throughout most of life.  My hot gay doctor examines me naked and I use restraint not to make it sexual.  Several Uber drivers are very hot and I use restraint not to grope them while they are driving.  I supervise very handsome coworkers and I use restraint not to sexually harass them either.  Such is the #MeToo world we now live in.  Long gone are the good old days of pinching a nice ass on a stranger as they walk by, or groping a coworker in the workplace, and sadly that goes for therapeutic massuers too.

[MarlowewolraM]

2 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

⚠️Warning: this is long.

That's the kind of warning I'm always eager to hear.

 

But on a serious note, I do want to echo @ThroatCummer and say that you and @Jamie21 (and a couple others) are doing yourself a good service by spending time on here explaining your side of things, I am definitely adding you guys to my list based on your thoughtful and genuine responses, please keep it up!

[Martin M]

12 hours ago, MarlowewolraM said:

That's the kind of warning I'm always eager to hear.

 

But on a serious note, I do want to echo @ThroatCummer and say that you and @Jamie21 (and a couple others) are doing yourself a good service by spending time on here explaining your side of things, I am definitely adding you guys to my list based on your thoughtful and genuine responses, please keep it up!

And spread the voice among colleagues who want to be direct and honest, not the ones who simulate to be clients to criticize negative reviews of real clients.

[Massageguy99]

I don't mind them being on sites and listed as therapeutic as long as it is clear what they are offering. 

 

For me personally I don't want to hire a therapeutic massage only from the two main sites on my area. Mainly because if I want a therapeutic massage I prefer a spa environment. 

Many providers in my area do not offer a spa like feel. While that is not to say it is is not a relaxing environment it is not the environment I want. 

Also cost is a factor I can and have had many Therapeutic massages in a spa setting that are cheaper than a MT offers on RM or MF. 

I do have friends who prefer to hire based on looks, being in a home rather than a business etc and who want Therapeutic only. For those people MT advertising on MF or RM are exactly what they are looking for.

On the plus side I would absolutely hire Simon or Jamie. They are just so freaking nice. Sadly in my current market the only one who fits that bill moved and retired from the industry. 

 

In another market I had 4 regulars that all got that bill of professionalism and quality. 

[Boaxxx]

On 12/7/2024 at 2:20 AM, Jamie21 said:

That’s how I do it with virtually every massage if given the option to do so by my client. I don’t start naked, they start with a towel on. It begins just like a therapeutic only massage. For example if it’s a two hour session (the best duration to do a proper job) the towel is still on him after 30 minutes, I’m still fully in shorts and top, no oil has been applied, no touch has been made to his bum or cock or anywhere near and we’re already 25% of the way through the session…..that might sound like nothing erotic has happened but that’s such a misunderstanding of the situation! There’s all sorts of cues and hints one can do to build the sexual tension 😉. Everything has happened…in his head because I’ve put it there. 

This, in my view is the best kind of session because I focus my attention on his biggest sex organ, his mind… and there’s so so much one can do there. Most guys might have had what I call a rub and tug style ‘sensual’ massage. It’s an average therapeutic massage with a jerk off. I think the majority of providers advertising do that kind of session. It’s like fast food, briefly satisfying and can serve a purpose. Sometimes clients want just that, a quick massage or even to climax in the first 10 minutes and then relax into a nice therapeutic style massage. I do those kind of ‘happy start’ sessions for a few guys who just can’t wait and can only relax once they’ve cum.

However when clients experience a proper sensual massage over 2 hours, where the masseur works their body and their mind…well that’s gourmet and after that they don’t want to go back to fast food. 

This is exactly how an erotic massage should be. For me half of the excitement is the anticipation and the "surprise" when I find out he is naked.

[rustyrex]

And this is why have nearly stopped booking from gay sites.  I do not go for therapeutic massages from people that aren’t licensed and I’m not paying more because they are a good looking man.  If I want therapeutic I go to other sites.  If I book on the gay sites it’s for more than massage but it seems most of men on these sites are so vague and when I press for details they don’t really offer them which means I’ve basically wasted my time contacting them.  So no thanks…I’m not paying $200 and higher for someone to literally try to tenderize me because they think I’m muscular enough to handle that sh!t.  Last time I hired from a gay site the guy was unlicensed, and I thought okay well maybe he’ll offer a hell of a HE.  Nope…didn’t even remove his cloths and hurt me because he thought he was helping me out with literally grabbing my muscles and driving his knuckles into me and I specifically asked for erotic. So no thanks…for truly legit licensed massage you can get it at a reasonable price elsewhere…from a straight guy even…if that’s your thing.  But for me it’s a no unless they have a dual ad on RM too.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 12/6/2024 at 6:51 PM, viewing ownly said:

I didn't have the space to type the word "massage" in-between gay and sites, but I find it perplexing, personally. Especially with new advertisers - do they not notice the content of their competition before putting together an ad?

There are those precious few of you out there on here (and I'm sure many more who aren't on here) who would like a spa-like, completely covered, happy-ending-less experience, and seek the less than 1% who are interested in providing that kind of service. 

For me and the civilized horny male universe, I would hope for a pleasant surprise and get more out of the encounter, but have had enough massages in my lifetime to know better. A legit massage is just that. Sure, a great few might get lucky, but for most of us, they are not worth the bother to contact. And in all likelihood, they'll soon realize it's not worth advertising versus the lack of clients, and pull their ad. 

This is akin to asking why do realtors or dentists advertise in a gay publication, when they don't let you have sex with them in the houses they are selling or in the dental chair. 

I'm horny and have sex on my brain all the time.  However, I am able to use restraint and enjoy a good massage that does not involve sexual harassment, just like I'm able to not bend over ass up with my realtor when touring a home... Although the later takes a lot of restraint on my part.

[viewing ownly]

2 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

This is akin to asking why do realtors or dentists advertise in a gay publication, when they don't let you have sex with them in the houses they are selling or in the dental chair. 

I'm horny and have sex on my brain all the time.  However, I am able to use restraint and enjoy a good massage that does not involve sexual harassment, just like I'm able to not bend over ass up with my realtor when touring a home... Although the later takes a lot of restraint on my part.

This comparison is ridiculous. We don't take off all of our clothes and have our bodies touched all over the place by dentists or realtors. 

It's expected that people in those professions advertising in gay publications are doing so because someone in the business is gay, and / or they are gay-friendly as a way to attract business to gay people (and some who aren't who appreciate that they are catering to that market niche).

Now if a sexy plumber with a mostly un-buttoned shirt comes over to work on my sink pipe and intentionally pulls down his pants to reveal a gorgeous rump - I must be watching a porn. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

20 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

We don't take off all of our clothes and have our bodies touched all over the place by dentists or realtors. 

I guess it's just me then 😉 🎉 

[harlow]

For me personally I’m not even contacting a provider if they don’t provide an erotic experience. If they don’t it’s a waste of time for me. If I need a legitimate therapeutic massage I’ll go to massage envy or a hotel spa. 

[+ Just966]

On 12/7/2024 at 4:14 PM, Simon Suraci said:

Haha, I’m neither. I’m in the middle in terms of age and looks. There are waaay better looking men out there. Being experienced or on the older end of the spectrum doesn’t make you good necessarily, and being attractive doesn’t make you bad either. What you want is the best of both: a truly skilled professional masseur (priority #1) …. that happens to be somewhere in the neighborhood of what you find attractive (priority #2). Maybe not your top pick for escort services who “must” have a certain look or body type for you to be into him. All I’m saying is looks should be secondary if you’re one of the few clients who truly values an excellent massage. 

Basically, think with your big head, then your little one.

In my case I have two big heads, so what’s a guy to do? 🤣 (see my private gallery)

And a great smile😊😊

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

2 hours ago, harlow said:

I’ll go to massage envy

I found the Happy Endings provided at Massage Envy to be very mechanical... And only a few times was given the occasional blow job. 

The big deal breaker for me was when Massage Envy stopped accepting cash payments a few years ago.  I cancelled my 15 year membership then.  I only pay in cash.

[Massageguy99]

On 12/12/2024 at 9:17 PM, viewing ownly said:

This comparison is ridiculous. We don't take off all of our clothes and have our bodies touched all over the place by dentists or realtors. 

It's expected that people in those professions advertising in gay publications are doing so because someone in the business is gay, and / or they are gay-friendly as a way to attract business to gay people (and some who aren't who appreciate that they are catering to that market niche).

Now if a sexy plumber with a mostly un-buttoned shirt comes over to work on my sink pipe and intentionally pulls down his pants to reveal a gorgeous rump - I must be watching a porn. 

Your dentist doesn't do that. I must be lucky ha. 

[Monarchy79]

@Simon Suraci made one critical valid point (out of many as I agreed with all that he posted), which was this:

Stop being lured by the “Hot” guy, on those massage sites. 
 

I’ve been saying this for years, and I’ve never fell for the “hot” guy. There’s a method to it, as he’s not saying to pick guys you are absolutely repulsed by. 
it’s about fusing in looks, with potential, and skill , mixed with reality. 
 

Here are some realities:

1.) A guy that is so “hot”, that he could give an instagram model or only fans performer a run for their money, is going to charge TOP DOLLAR and NOT give you any massage with skill or beyond anything therapeutic, because he doesn’t have to. His collateral is solely in his looks and nothing else. 
 

2.) The “Hot” guy wants your money, but doesn’t want to work for it. He doesn’t want to perform escort services because he only wants to play with guys who look like him, but he has no other redeemable skills to earn money, so “massage” is the other alternative. If he can make $300 for an hour of slathering cheap baby oil on some poor, naive sucker, without having to do anything else, he’s “won”. 
 

3.) The “Hot” guy is playing into your fantasies only. He knows the value of his looks and his only mission is to capitalize off if. Being on a gay massage site, selling therapeutic massage, is the perfect niche of shaping false expectations, with innuendo. It’s the easiest way to snooker a lust-hungry man who seeks the fulfillment of being with a super “hot” guy.

Here are some red flags of the type of guys on these sites who will snooker you:

1.) “perfect” , “hot” photos where they are perfection in its purest. instagram model style.

2.) excessive travel. Nothing but high-class vagabond hustlers. 
 

3.) Ethnic descriptions such as “Arab”, Mediterranean”, or “mixed”. they are the biggest hustlers and teases. 
 

 

 

 

[LA50]

This is such great info in this thread from the providers, thank you!  One question, since MasseurFinder seems to be strict about what providers can post, what is the best approach to ask if they provide extras? Do most providers know what “extras” means enough to know what I’m generally asking without getting graphic right at first? I don’t mind, and actually prefer, discussing exactly what I look for (a legit therapeutic massage ending with me giving oral to my masseur is my thing  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) so I’m just curious specifically about providers I find on MF that aren’t on other sites. In the end, I’m always respectful of boundaries and hire accordingly. 
 

[corndog]

I really like legit, therapeutic massage, and often it's all I'm after, but it's sometimes hard to find quality. I also enjoy an erotic massage now and then, but it's a separate thing.

I'm often a little disappointed when I'm seeking a real therapeutic massage and the masseur is either incapable or uninterested in providing it. When it becomes clear that masseur intends to take a session in the erotic direction, I "go with flow," and accept it, knowing that I'm unlikely to get a good therapeutic massage from someone with another agenda. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

@Simon Suraci and @Jamie21 have suggested that it is the clients that push a therapeutic massage into the erotic zone. I respectfully and lovingly call "bullshit." When I arrive for a therapeutic massage, I lay down on the table, face down, with my hands by my sides. As the massage progresses, many times the masseur's crotch rubs against my hands as he's massaging my back and shoulders. This is not an accident. A real, legit, therapeutic masseur is perfectly capable of giving a complete massage without rubbing their crotch against your hands or face.

When this happens, it feels like it would be borderline insulting to not respond at all, and so I do. And so, a delicate dance ensues and things generally escalate to a level of sexuality/eroticism that hopefully both the masseur and I are comfortable with. It's my goal to never overstep what the masseur is comfortable with, but I can see that he may be second guessing my intentions and believe that I'll only be satisfied if the whole thing turns sexual.

My main point is that it isn't always "demanding clients" that push beyond the therapeutic limits. A real, strictly therapeutic masseur is perfectly capable of giving a great massage without ever sending signals of sexual possibilities. I've experienced some great therapeutic masseurs who thoroughly work my butt and inner thighs without ever going into the erotic zone. Occasionally, it feels almost comical the way they must be contorting their body to avoid contact with their groin, but a professional with a therapeutic agenda is certainly capable of it.

[+ Jamie21]

3 hours ago, corndog said:

I respectfully and lovingly call "bullshit."

Better check what I said. I don’t normally comment from a position of ignorance and because I don’t do therapeutic massages I will never have experienced a therapeutic only client pushing boundaries. 

 

[Simon Suraci]

@corndog each masseur is different. I personally am capable of giving a legit therapeutic only massage and I do when clients request it. I actually enjoy giving a skilled therapeutic massage. That’s how I started in my career. As a matter of fact, I ran a special for a few months advertising a lower rate for strictly therapeutic massage i.e. me clothed, client draped, no happy ending, no sensual or erotic touch. It was a pretty good deal for my market and I was curious to see if it boosted my business. Only two clients took me up on the offer and one of them was incredibly handsy, in fact moreso than my typical client. The other client was quite respectful and we kept it to therapeutic massage. He was happy, but he returned to me asking for my regular service at my standard rate. I did not offer this or pressure him, rather he asked me for it. Since then, he hired me for escort service, which I did not pressure him to do or try to upsell him. He asked. Go figure.

We see a wide array of clients and they each have slightly different expectations and behave in different ways on the table. I’m telling you from experience that well over 95% of my clients want at minimum some small level of sensual or erotic interaction. They’re not all pressuring me or demanding it (which I appreciate) and I am not forcing it on them either. They really like seeing a gay masseur like me because they can have those sensual and erotic interactions without judgment, fear, or pressure.

Sometimes clients do not respond to my nudges indicating it’s ok to touch me, or they don’t show signs of pleasure when I touch them in an erotic/sensual way… so I ease up and don’t push anything erotic. And that’s OK! I have to say, though, that these clients are the exception, not the rule. Different strokes for different folks. Literally.

We are not here to pressure anyone. We’re here to offer what the market demands. Way more often than not, the market demands something along a wide spectrum of sensual and erotic experiences. The clients best matched to my strengths are clients needing and appreciating solid, skilled therapy, and for whom a level of sensuality and eroticism enhances their enjoyment.

My suggestion: tell your masseur that you want a focused, therapeutic massage. Ask if he offers extras. Assuming he does, tell him you don’t want them and see how he does in the session. I would never go against a client’s request like this.

So often we are working on clients uncomfortable with asking for their needs. So we have to intuit those needs. A client not responding to my sensual and erotic touch is a client I won’t make an effort to do extras for. I back off. Even more clear is a client that tells me upfront that he wants therapeutic only. I respect that. It takes the guesswork and intuition game out of the picture and I can focus on giving him the best work I can for his needs. It gives me a chance to relax and focus my energy on what he does need. It’s a relief, really. I love giving quality therapy. What is most often lacking here is not masseur skill or ability, but client communication. Ask for what you want. When you don’t, your masseurs will default to what most of the market wants.

We want to please our clients. We don’t want to disappoint them. When most of our clients WANT sensual and erotic elements (but also are uncomfortable asking for them), we are left to figure it out. You can’t blame us for responding to the market or for doing the intuitive work we must necessarily do to respond to that market.

[corndog]

@Simon Suraci & @Jamie21: Thanks for your thoughtful responses, and allow me reiterate that I didn't intend to attack or offend, just to continue this conversation. As a matter of fact, I've had a massage from Simon, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Recommended for sure.

52 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

So often we are working on clients uncomfortable with asking for their needs. ... . Ask for what you want. When you don’t, your masseurs will default to what most of the market wants.

This sounds like good, simple advice, but I think it's more complicated than that.

• It's difficult to articulate your desires when you're not really sure about them. For example, I might make an appointment because I really need good muscle therapy. But, in there intervening time, or due to the sexiness of the masseur, what I want when I'm actually on the table might be different.
• For many of us, part of the thrill of a sensual/erotic massage is the suspense. The lingering question of "will he/won't he" heightens the experience. I think there is a fetish/fantasy element at play here.
• Some masseurs respond poorly to direct conversations about the sensual/erotic aspects. Perhaps they're concerned about law enforcement or licensing authorities, but whatever the case, simply talking about it with some masseurs will freak them out.

Personally, I can say that happy if I walk away with either a great therapeutic massage, or a fun erotic experience. It's rare to get both, but when it happens it's pure magic.

[Simon Suraci]

55 minutes ago, corndog said:

didn't intend to attack or offend

I don’t take it that way at all. Thanks for posting! It’s a good conversation.
 

56 minutes ago, corndog said:

I've had a massage from Simon, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Recommended for sure.

Thanks for sharing! That means a lot to me. Anything you want different should you visit me again please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not at all shy!

I want to validate your points.

Sometimes what you want changes in the moment and that’s ok. That’s part of our job to read and respond to your body, demeanor, and cues.

Yes, the thrill of the unknown, what will go down, and how, is certainly part of the enjoyment. It’s a fantasy to entertain for sure.

Not every masseur responds well to direct questions regarding extras. Law enforcement in the US is a real concern.  Some guys just don’t want the pressure. Some don’t offer extras at all and it’s annoying having to address the request knowing you likely won’t get the work but have to go through the motions of responding patiently and politely anyway.

[corndog]

15 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

Anything you want different should you visit me again please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not at all shy!

Could you please be a cute little latino twink with a strong but totally comprehendible accent? Lol. 🤣 Just kidding, you're perfect just the way you are.

[Simon Suraci]

2 hours ago, corndog said:

Could you please be a cute little latino twink with a strong but totally comprehendible accent? Lol. 🤣 Just kidding, you're perfect just the way you are.

Haha! 

I have no problem referring. I can’t be everything to everyone. I’ll keep an eye out for your type and send them your way 😉 Only the good ones!