Biggest cooking fail...

[samhexum]

Years ago, some friends and I got tickets to Cap Day at Yankee Stadium. An hour before leaving, I got the idea to make a baked ziti to bring along. 

I put up a large pot of water to boil (told my roommate to keep an eye on it), quickly drove a few blocks to a supermarket for supplies, then threw it all together in a lasagna pan. It was ready just as it was time to go. The pan was piping hot, so I put it on a cutting board, and took it out to the car. I'd bought paper plates & plastic silverware and brought along a ladle to serve it with.

I was too cheap to pay for parking, so I parked two blocks away, and trudged with this heavy package to the stadium (I use A LOT of cheese in my ziti). This was long enough ago that they actually let me in with it, & off I went... to the upper deck, of course. There were 5 or 6 of us total (we didn't all travel together), and fortunately, we were in the front row, so we had a little ledge to balance the plates on. My friends all laughed when they realized what I'd brought, as did the people around us.

Then, around mid-game, they did the 'guess the attendance' game on the scoreboard, and when the actual figure was posted, a guy behind us said "Great... 50,000 people and they bring ONE pan of ziti!"

I was mortified...

[Becket]

I've been trying to make sourdough bread. Ordered some good starter from the King Arthur baking company. But my results have been kinda MEH!

Any bread bakers among the brethren? I need some tips.

[samhexum]

14 minutes ago, Becket said:

I've been trying to make sourdough bread. Ordered some good starter from the King Arthur baking company. But my results have been kinda MEH!

Any bread bakers among the brethren? I need some tips.

 

[MikeBiDude]

37 minutes ago, Becket said:

I've been trying to make sourdough bread. Ordered some good starter from the King Arthur baking company. But my results have been kinda MEH!

Any bread bakers among the brethren? I need some tips.

Ask away!

 

[cany10011]

28 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Ask away!

 

Bravo! Do you have 3 dutch ovens? Impressive! What's the crumb like  I'd get out the nice french butter and  eat a loaf for a meal, along with some cheese. 

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, MikeBiDude said:

Ask away!

 

You dirty, dirty c-nt…..

Promise you’ll sit next to me in Palm Springs this year!

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, cany10011 said:

Bravo! Do you have 3 dutch ovens? Impressive! What's the crumb like  I'd get out the nice french butter and  eat a loaf for a meal, along with some cheese. 

2 cast iron Lodge combo, but I use upside down of the Pic.

 

[Becket]

Thanks. I actually have that exact pan. I'll give it a shot. Your bread is gorgeous; I'm so jealous.

[+ sync]

I am so envious of those with the ability/skill/desire to prepare food(s).  I've trained my body to endure my food preparations, but I wouldn't serve my preparations to other human beings unless they were starving on death row.  

[+ Notor]

22 hours ago, Becket said:

I've been trying to make sourdough bread. Ordered some good starter from the King Arthur baking company. But my results have been kinda MEH!

Any bread bakers among the brethren? I need some tips.

I suggest looking at the electric plastic proof box that King Arthur sells. The absolute temperature control is difference maker for raising and proofing!

[BSR]

On 1/6/2024 at 10:45 AM, samhexum said:

This was long enough ago that they actually let me in with it, & off I went...

I still can't believe they let you into Yankee Stadium with a full pan of baked ziti.  Just how long ago was this?  Were the Dodgers still in Brooklyn??

[samhexum]

8 hours ago, BSR said:

I still can't believe they let you into Yankee Stadium with a full pan of baked ziti.  Just how long ago was this?  Were the Dodgers still in Brooklyn??

I believe they were still called the Brooklyn Superbas back then.

[samhexum]

On 1/10/2024 at 8:21 AM, sync said:

I wouldn't serve my preparations to other human beings unless they were starving on death row.  

You don't think starvation and the death penalty are punishment enough?

[samhexum]

On 1/10/2024 at 12:53 AM, Becket said:

Thanks. I actually have that exact pan. I'll give it a shot. Your bread is gorgeous; I'm so jealous.

Damn Joe Burrow is fine!

But is @MikeBiDude's gorgeous bread finer than Joe Burrow's buns?

[Danny-Darko]

On 1/9/2024 at 7:53 PM, Becket said:

I've been trying to make sourdough bread. Ordered some good starter from the King Arthur baking company. But my results have been kinda MEH!

Any bread bakers among the brethren? I need some tips.

I gave up and got a bread maker machine. Comes out same every time now! 

[Guest]

Tip: Eat the Kraft Mac & Cheese (Deluxe Original) out of the sauce pan you cooked it in; the metal adds just the right amount of tanginess to the “cheese” sauce; you’d swear it was cheddar. Note that one box is a single serving and is not for sharing.

[samhexum]

1 hour ago, Km411 said:

Tip: Eat the Kraft Mac & Cheese (Deluxe Original) out of the sauce pan you cooked it in; the metal adds just the right amount of tanginess to the “cheese” sauce; you’d swear it was cheddar. Note that one box is a single serving and is not for sharing.

DUH!

RE:  Kraft Mac & Cheese:

A.  I just leave a little pasta water in the pot & add the cheese powder to it, leaving out the butter & milk.  Not quite as good, but totally fine and less fat & calories.  Sometimes I'll throw in some spinach and/or minced onions.

B.  Sadly, last night's grocery delivery was out of stock on the 3 boxes of family (double) sized boxes for $1.12, and there had been no substitute option available.

C.  I have noticed that when Stop & Shop is discontinuing a cartoon characters version, they sell them for 57 cents.  Last fall I ordered 4 boxes of Pixar Cars after checking that the substitution option was a box of the regular version, and it worked just as I planned... they had exhausted their supply and I got 4 regular boxes for 57 cents.  Last month I ordered 9 boxes of Unicorns & Rainbows and got... 9 boxes of Unicorns & Rainbows.  There's a slight benefit... those cartoon versions have about 70% of the volume of the regular versions, and (since, as you say, one box is a single serving) I'd rather have 30% less available to eat, especially since it's still a better value at a cost of 57 cents.  I'd eaten 2 boxes when I tried a smaller order 2 weeks later of 2 boxes of Unicorns & Rainbows and I got... 2 boxes of the regular size for 57 cents.

D.  I know it seems like I subsist on Mac & Cheese, but I average about 1 box a month.

Edited January 12, 2024 by samhexum
for absolutely NO @%!*ING reason at all!

[Guest]

It’s a staple

[Guest]

And if want some protein, add sliced hot dogs!

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, Km411 said:

And if want some protein, add sliced hot dogs!

Alternatively, "If you want more salt, add sliced hot dogs."

[Rudynate]

Several years ago, I was going to serve roast goose on New Year's day.  I came down with a bad cold and had to cancel the dinner.  I roasted the goose anyway and it was nearly inedible - it was so tough and stringy.  I read, afterward, that you should always buy small geese to avoid that problem. I had bought the largest goose I could find.  

[+ poolboy48220]

The time I tried to make croissants for a friend's brunch and started that morning, not realizing that making them properly can be a days-long process.  Similar to the time I made a cheesecake for a party that night and came to the "put in the fridge overnight" step.

The first time I tried using my pastry bag to fill devilled eggs and had not mixed the yolk mixture enough so it kept clogging in the pastry tube nozzle.  Yolk mixture sprayed ALL over as I tried to force it. 

[samhexum]

5 hours ago, poolboy48220 said:

sprayed ALL over as I tried to force it. 

How old were you, 14?  lube, patience...

5 hours ago, poolboy48220 said:

The time I tried to make croissants for a friend's brunch and started that morning, not realizing that making them properly can be a days-long process. 

Explain this to me, because unless you are walking to a store in another city to pick up that Pillsbury product, I'm confused.

Edited January 13, 2024 by samhexum
because he's bored as hell

[samhexum]

On 1/9/2024 at 8:31 PM, MikeBiDude said:

 

Store-bought starter?!?   @MikeBiDude turns up his nose!

[Rudynate]

On 1/13/2024 at 6:54 AM, poolboy48220 said:

The time I tried to make croissants for a friend's brunch and started that morning, not realizing that making them properly can be a days-long process.  Similar to the time I made a cheesecake for a party that night and came to the "put in the fridge overnight" step.

 

Yup - two days - you have to keep chilling the dough.