Re: False Advertising?

[PileDriver]

I don't think I'm the first consumer to hit on a masseur online, one whose photos and description imply more than a massage is possible. No? Then either online have been rebuffed by an 'offended' provider. Or found out during the massage that the suggestion that more than a massage was an option was just a tease? I have my stable of providers who started as massage therapist and as escorts. All sweet guys. Very fluid and go with the flow types. 

[PileDriver]

False advertising might be too strong a term, but as a consumer what else would i call it. 

[Simon Suraci]

Best way to go about it is ask for exactly what you want and see what he says. Clients are usually too chicken to ask but that saves everyone time. That cuts through any ambiguity in the ad.

Also have realistic expectations about pricing; don’t clutch your pearls when someone offers you a higher level of service for a higher rate.

Be kind when he tells you what you want is not on offer. Accept that politely and move on. 

[soloyo215]

Some in the provider line of work maintain what I call a "hustler mentality", which is that they seem to derive pleasure out of taking advantage of people. Time and time again it's been said to discuss some or all specifics in the original communication and/or right before starting the session. Clarity is a good thing and it helps weed out those types of providers (I'm referring to malicious, ill-intended providers with no intentions of fulfilling their end of the bargain).

Also, when something bad happens, a place like this forum can not only help others not to be taken advantage of, but it also helps giving the malicious provider a bad reputation, which is bad for his business. Of course, telling about a bad experience is different than slandering.

It's not ok if a provider includes erotic massages as part of his service and then is offended when asked about it. We all should know about that. However, be sure that you as a client are doing your due diligence, which can be gathering information from places like this forum or other clients, reviews, etc., and communicating about what you are interested in.

Edited December 9, 2023 by soloyo215

[acks0104]

With masseurs, I assume that for the majority of guys it's YMMV, unless they're explciitly stating otherwise. Don't make assumptions, even if there are "sexy" photos that suggest more. It's why it's always a good idea to see what others have said about the masseur before hiring.

[pubic_assistance]

9 hours ago, PileDriver said:

I don't think I'm the first consumer to hit on a masseur online, one whose photos and description imply more than a massage is possible.

I have found its best to allow that masseur to perform as he normally does on a first meet. Guage the natural propensity toward erotic services that come naturally. After a generous tip, you can speak man-to-man about his limits in erotic services. I do think many providers don't like to discuss with strangers but are more open to suggestion with a good tipper.

[Simon Suraci]

12 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

more open to suggestion with a good tipper.

This is another strategy to receive a higher level of service than you might otherwise. Tipping demonstrates that the client is willing and able to pay and worth the extra effort and time. Keep in mind some masseurs have certain boundaries and no amount of money or frequency will coerce them into doing more than they are comfortable. BUT some guys will feel more comfortable doing more with a regular with whom they have developed a good rapports.

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

14 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Best way to go about it is ask for exactly what you want and see what he says. Clients are usually too chicken to ask but that saves everyone time. That cuts through any ambiguity in the ad.

Totally agree!  But you take your chances nonetheless.

One guy had a sensual option listed (since removed) and when I asked about MT he responded that I was a disgusting creep and if I wanted sex to hire an escort. 

[Simon Suraci]

42 minutes ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

One guy had a sensual option listed (since removed) and when I asked about MT he responded that I was a disgusting creep and if I wanted sex to hire an escort. 

His response was immature and unnecessary. You deserve a professional. A professional will have realistic expectations around, any experience with, clients asking questions about erotic services. It’s ok for him to say no, and you shouldn’t knock him for that. However, if he can’t answer those questions in a respectful manner, I wouldn’t trust him to treat you well when receiving any of his services.

Consider he did you a favor by showing his nature and saving you the time and cost. 

Asking the question upfront circumvents the uncertainty of hiring, being disappointed, potentially being called a creep for having normal human needs and desires, and then having to start the process all over again spending more time and money.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

His response was immature and unnecessary.

Maybe not the most mature response but advertising a sensual massage and then being asked about "mutual touching" IS the same as asking if the fellow is a sex worker. So I can understand him being offended.

Personally I don't understand why so many gay men just assume all masseurs are sex workers.

"Sensual" doesn't mean sex.

If you want more than a massage you need to start by asking someone who offers "erotic" services.

I disagree with the "just ask" attitude. If you hire a masseur you ask about massage techniques.  if you want to start touching someone's body to turn you on...he's right...hire a sex worker or someone offering "erotic" sessions.

Otherwise keep your mouth shut. Take the session as given and discuss "other" services AFTER, for the next meet.

Edited December 9, 2023 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[Simon Suraci]

9 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I disagree with the "just ask" attitude.

I agree to disagree. You’re right about masseurs not necessarily being sex workers, and I appreciate that. There’s a spectrum though, and some of them are BOTH. Some ads are confusing, vague, or flat out contradictory.

Take for example this masseur in in San Diego:

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

43 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

 

"Sensual" doesn't mean sex.

It doesn't, no.

But I can't tell you the number of therapeutic sessions I've had that involved a happy ending.  I just thought his response was a little over the top. 

(How many threads here we seen discussing the line between sensual and erotic?)

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

How many threads here we seen discussing the line between sensual and erotic?

Indeed

And the consensus is always that you shouldn't expect a lot of interaction when you book a sensual massage.

I've actually had plenty of massages where the provider gave me a happy ending but didn't allow me to touch them in return.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

agree to disagree. You’re right about masseurs not necessarily being sex workers, and I appreciate that. There’s a spectrum though, and some of them are BOTH. Some ads are confusing, vague, or flat out contradictory.

I agree, Simon.

It is confusing for people.

I agree it's a spectrum.

But it IS wrong to ASSUME any masseur is also a sex worker.

Yes the fellow over reacted. But some men DO seem to think that sex work is "beneath them". So will feel insulted if you ask. I don't agree...but people have a right to feel the way they do.

I've never insulted a single masseur because I've never made a direct request for anything beyond a massage.

I book a massage. See how intimate it gets and then discuss other interests for a second session. This method of discussion has never insulted anyone, because after an initial meet its.more personal and friendly.

Edited December 9, 2023 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[ICTJOCK]

I would assume what is in print is an accurate representation.   If the representation is for "massage only"  that is what I would expect.

[marylander1940]

On 12/8/2023 at 12:26 PM, PileDriver said:

I don't think I'm the first consumer to hit on a masseur online, one whose photos and description imply more than a massage is possible. No? Then either online have been rebuffed by an 'offended' provider. Or found out during the massage that the suggestion that more than a massage was an option was just a tease? I have my stable of providers who started as massage therapist and as escorts. All sweet guys. Very fluid and go with the flow types. 

The HE expectations and reality might be different according to many things: mood, how does the client look, etc.

You can also be specific with the masseur and tell him you want 45 mins of legitimate massage and the rest of BFE or whatever you have in mind.

9 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I agree to disagree. You’re right about masseurs not necessarily being sex workers, and I appreciate that. There’s a spectrum though, and some of them are BOTH. Some ads are confusing, vague, or flat out contradictory.

Take for example this masseur in in San Diego:

 

The issue is also expectations and fee.

If someone REALLY wants to release, he should hire an escort, ask him to massage him before sex and pay him his escort hourly fee. 

10 hours ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

Totally agree!  But you take your chances nonetheless.

One guy had a sensual option listed (since removed) and when I asked about MT he responded that I was a disgusting creep and if I wanted sex to hire an escort. 

honest reply!

 

Edited December 10, 2023 by marylander1940