When visit #1 was FAR better than visit #2

[viewing ownly]

It's not uncommon for me to read on here of people who had second experiences that weren't anything like the first. What is it that could be attributed to? I ask because I had that happen to me for the first time ever recently, and I am still stunned by it.

I suppose my expectations were too high, perhaps? I look to myself and am really reaching for the reasons why. I look much different than the last time I had seen him, as did he.

[jeezifonly]

Isn’t the rush of the first exploration of a partner’s body adding to the intensity of the moment’s overall experience? Whether a get-it-now hookup, or after several dates with nothing past the neck (not to mention the importance of the wedding night in my parents day) it’s something brand new to the senses. I think the same is true on a first date that includes a paid participant. The thrill of some Strange 🤩

[dbar123]

People can have bad days….ive had a few instances where the second time was not nearly as good….and there was no third

[+ sync]

I had that experience after several previous very satisfying appointments with the provider.  The last time he behaved as if he had never met me and was uncomfortable with me.  It was very off-putting.  I probably should have asked why, but the mood was shattered, and I just wanted to leave as graciously as I could.

That was a long time ago, but it still nags me because I really liked him as a person and as a provider.

 

[BuffaloKyle]

6 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Isn’t the rush of the first exploration of a partner’s body adding to the intensity of the moment’s overall experience? Whether a get-it-now hookup, or after several dates with nothing past the neck (not to mention the importance of the wedding night in my parents day) it’s something brand new to the senses. I think the same is true on a first date that includes a paid participant. The thrill of some Strange 🤩

I agree. I get bored fast of sex with one person and am always looking for someone new to experience. Hence why I have never been in a relationship. There is no way I could commit to one person. At least not at this point of my life. I would think though at least the second time would still be exciting with someone. The first time actually can sometimes be awkward as you get a feeling out for each other.

[viewing ownly]

45 minutes ago, sync said:

I had that experience after several previous very satisfying appointments with the provider.  The last time he behaved as if he had never met me and was uncomfortable with me.  It was very off-putting.  I probably should have asked why, but the mood was shattered, and I just wanted to leave as graciously as I could.

That was a long time ago, but it still nags me because I really liked him as a person and as a provider.

 

What was the difference in time from the last time you saw him to the previous, pleasant time?

[Guest]

My experiences have been the opposite; though there’s a certain excitement in a new partner that can only be experienced that first time, for me there’s an awkwardness, too. I prefer having multiple encounters with the same provider, because they become more intimate with boundaries explored and pushed. And I enjoy a certain level of familiarity that can only develop over multiple encounters. I guess it’s also affirming when a provider continues to make time for me.

I wonder if, in bad second encounters, there’s simply a realization that the chemistry isn’t there.

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I get bored fast of sex with one person and am always looking for someone new

So basically you're saying you're a gay man 🤣

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We've had a couple of second times that were not as good as the first, but none were terrible. Generally, the more comfortable we become with a provider, the better the encounters are. 

I suspect, as others have mentioned, that the excitement of a first encounter may hide a lack of genuine chemistry. 

We do have some regulars but we usually see them a few times a year. I think if we saw a provider once or twice a month, it might lose the thrill. 

[BuffaloKyle]

35 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

So basically you're saying you're a gay man 🤣

Yes!

There are some exceptions. This was over 15 years ago but I worked with a guy at Target. He was 23 I believe and he told me he had been with his BF since he was 17 and he was the only guy that he had ever messed around with. And he was super sexy too! I was like man you're missing out on so much!

[+ sync]

2 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

What was the difference in time from the last time you saw him to the previous, pleasant time?

It was usually a monthly thing, sometimes twice in a month.

[+ Axiom2001]

6 hours ago, Km411 said:

My experiences have been the opposite; though there’s a certain excitement in a new partner that can only be experienced that first time, for me there’s an awkwardness, too. I prefer having multiple encounters with the same provider, because they become more intimate with boundaries explored and pushed. And I enjoy a certain level of familiarity that can only develop over multiple encounters. I guess it’s also affirming when a provider continues to make time for me.

I wonder if, in bad second encounters, there’s simply a realization that the chemistry isn’t there.

In my thinking and reflecting about the question, I thought I'd chime in.  

For about the last four or five years, I've seen the same "partner."  All of our times being together were absolutely delightful and highly pleasurable.  During COVID (March) of the last year of the pandemic being rampant, I hired him.  He came to the lobby of the hotel and waited for me in the expansive lounge.  When I came downstairs and spotted him in the room, my heart rate shot up, for he looked oh so damn gorgeous and magnificently handsome.  When he joined me to leave and to engage in our short ritual of some very good 420, I stopped him and said that I was still not comfortable in "playing" during this time.  I carefully grabbed his right hand and gave him his usual fee.  Instead of our going our separated way, we left and smoked a little and conversed.  During our conversation-- he again thanked me for providing the two or three reviews, for he stated that my reviews truly, truly helped his client base.  And during our conversation, he also stated that whenever I'd wanted to talk, give him a ring.  (I heard but slightly questioned.)

A few months passed; I engaged his services; that night he plowed me so, so, so, so, so, so good that it frightened me, for although I do NOT have a heart condition-- I thought all of that pleasure that I received would bring one on.  He complied and did not say anything.  Later during the year, he decided to change his sexual orientation from "Bi" to "Straight."  Yet he did not change his "I Am Into's" in his RentMen ad.  

I saw him four times afterwards, and he was NOT the "provider of pleasure" as he was prior, for previously, he'd loved to be rimmed, have my fingers probe his very tight anus and alight his prostrate. And in order to get hard, he'd masturbate himself.  

Our last "date" was abysmal, so I have decided NOT to see him in the future but to remember all of the times whent he was one hell of a phenomenal partner as well as one who was easy to talk to and relate.  We were together for almost six years if not slightly longer.

Now, at times, I think back and lend some thought as to my seeing him again.  But if this happens to transpire, I'll write a candid message to him at RM chat, and in my message I'll ask him to respond honestly and frankly.  If he chooses NOT to see me, I will NOT be upset.  I will be pissed if he agrees to see me and flakes out, not performing and giving me what I desire, for he was one hell of a magnificent provider.

{I've chosen NOT to think that the abrupt CHANGE was brought on by my asking him to stop fucking me oh, oh, oh, oh, oh gooooooooooD on the night that he had me climbing those damn walls in that hotel room.}😇

 

Edited December 1, 2023 by Axiom2001

[viewing ownly]

1 hour ago, Axiom2001 said:

In my thinking and reflecting about the question, I thought I'd chime in.  

For about the last four or five years, I've seen the same "partner."  All of our times being together were absolutely delightful and highly pleasurable.  During COVID (March) of the last year of the pandemic being rampant, I hired him.  He came to the lobby of the hotel and waited for me in the expansive lounge.  When I came downstairs and spotted him in the room, my heart rate shot up, for he looked oh so damn gorgeous and magnificently handsome.  When he joined me to leave and to engage in our short ritual of some very good 420, I stopped him and said that I was still not comfortable in "playing" during this time.  I carefully grabbed his right hand and gave him his usual fee.  Instead of our going our separated way, we left and smoked a little and conversed.  During our conversation-- he again thanked me for providing the two or three reviews, for he stated that my reviews truly, truly helped his client base.  And during our conversation, he also stated that whenever I'd wanted to talk, give him a ring.  (I heard but slightly questioned.)

A few months passed; I engaged his services; that night he plowed me so, so, so, so, so, so good that it frightened me, for although I do NOT have a heart condition-- I thought all of that pleasure that I received would bring one on.  He complied and did not say anything.  Later during the year, he decided to change his sexual orientation from "Bi" to "Straight."  Yet he did not change his "I Am Into's" in his RentMen ad.  

I saw him four times afterwards, and he was NOT the "provider of pleasure" as he was prior, for previously, he'd loved to be rimmed, have my fingers probe his very tight anus and alight his prostrate. And in order to get hard, he'd masturbate himself.  

Our last "date" was abysmal, so I have decided NOT to see him in the future but to remember all of the times whent he was one hell of a phenomenal partner as well as one who was easy to talk to and relate.  We were together for almost six years if not slightly longer.

Now, at times, I think back and lend some thought as to my seeing him again.  But if this happens to transpire, I'll write a candid message to him at RM chat, and in my message I'll ask him to respond honestly and frankly.  If he chooses NOT to see me, I will NOT be upset.  I will be pissed if he agrees to see me and flakes out, not performing and giving me what I desire, for he was one hell of a magnificent provider.

{I've chosen NOT to think that the abrupt CHANGE was brought on by my asking him to stop fucking me oh, oh, oh, oh, oh gooooooooooD on the night that he had me climbing those damn walls in that hotel room.}😇

 

I wouldn't at all doubt that he discovered the level of business he could get from "conversion curious" gay men (from them to him) enabled the volume of people to see shoot through the roof - especially since you mention how increased his handsomeness got over time.

It's disappointing though that he reduced his sensuality with you - and likely it wasn't personal, but because he's "acting straight". It blows me away how many people advertise on mint boys and state in their ad "women only". Not only do I find that flustering, but stupid on their part, too.

[TT3690]

I think guys can often put up the 'best version' of themselves at the first visit, but it's harder to keep that up over time.

[soloyo215]

On 12/1/2023 at 12:44 AM, viewing ownly said:

It's not uncommon for me to read on here of people who had second experiences that weren't anything like the first. What is it that could be attributed to? I ask because I had that happen to me for the first time ever recently, and I am still stunned by it.

I suppose my expectations were too high, perhaps? I look to myself and am really reaching for the reasons why. I look much different than the last time I had seen him, as did he.

I can speak only based on my experience. I've never hired a provider for a BF experience, so I have no clue as to how second sessions are with those. My experience is that in the second round I already have an idea of what to expect since all the novelty of getting to know the provider is gone. I counter that when I have a provider that I really like, by not doing or knowing everything in the first session. It has worked in some cases. For example, right now I am in PVR on vacation, and I went to a provider that I saw last year. The session was as great as the first, but it wasn't as thrilling since I already know the basics of what I can expect. This time I spoke up and asked for a little extra of the previous extras. It was great and I had a great time. It helps that we have good chemistry, he's not one of those who feel mechanical and detached. At the end of the session I actually told him that next time I might want something else/different, and he replied with a smile that he's looking forward to knowing what I'll be wanting to do.

In other instances, the second time has been downright boring, some to the point that I haven't gone back. Like others have mentioned, there are different reasons for it, from the client's or provider's mood, to being adventurous, to just being about the novelty of someone new. I don't see anything wrong with any of the reasons for that to be.

Then there are the ones who are my regulars. I love going to them mostly for the sense of comfort. Sometimes I just want something without too much thinking, hassle, asking, negotiating or guessing. They are perfect gentlemen where they need to be, and I have a great experience every time I see them.