Is the escorting/massaging scene good in San Diego for providers?

[SouthOfTheBorder]

28 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Maybe @socurious should focus on what he can bring to the table as a mature 40 year old man

I didn’t realize he’s 40 - a little late to be entering this game statistically, but not impossible.  just improbable.

 Given he won’t kiss, won’t travel, doesn’t like to do his own marketing research & seems to be picky about the people he engages with - this career choice does not look promising.  
 

[socurious]

1 hour ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I didn’t realize he’s 40 - a little late to be entering this game statistically, but not impossible.  just improbable.

 Given he won’t kiss, won’t travel, doesn’t like to do his own marketing research & seems to be picky about the people he engages with - this career choice does not look promising.  
 

Um, I do not look 40 at all. If you see my pictures you'll see what I'm telling you. 

Also, I don't remember saying I pick my clients.

I do travel (I love to travel). I just don't kiss...

 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, socurious said:

Um, I do not look 40 at all. If you see my pictures you'll see what I'm telling you. 

Too bad.  I love a 40 year old man who looks like a sexy 40 year old.  Woof!

1 hour ago, socurious said:

Also, I don't remember saying I pick my clients.

I must have you confused with nycboi in this thread:

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/131263-nevermind/?do=findComment&comment=1938345

To answer your question, moving to California is a lifestyle decision, not just an escort competition decision.

Try living there a few weeks first and see how you like it.  But if your business is suffering in New York, it will likely continue to suffer in California without changing other things besides the location.

Edited November 15, 2023 by Vegas_Millennial
Links to earlier comments by socurious/nycboi

[Whippoorwill]

In the social sciences, it's referred to as "Doing a geographic". That is, "XYZ is not working for me. I just have to move to (wherever) and everything will be fine." Wrong. The problems you have today will travel with you...99% of the time, they are you, not the place. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

35 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I must have you confused with nycboi in this thread:

appears there was a name change: nycboi > socurious  yes ?

54 minutes ago, socurious said:

Um, I do not look 40 at all. If you see my pictures you'll see what I'm telling you. 

several people have asked you to post your RM profile link - why not ?  I’m so curious 

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, socurious said:

Also, I don't remember saying I pick my clients.

That's not a bad thing.... that comes with time. It's even better when you don't have to grit your teeth, see and spend time with unpleasant people, or just see folks just  because the mortgage payment is due...

it's WONDERFUL and pleasant and quite frankly, a luxury to only see people you genuinely have fun with and enjoy. TRUST & BELIEVE me. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

14 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

 I’m so curious

Nice 👍

[SouthOfTheBorder]

30 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

It's even better when you don't have to grit your teeth, see and spend time with unpleasant people,

the picky comment was because he indicated he wanted to select clients based on how they look & how sexually appealing they are to him - not because the potential clients were pleasant or unpleasant.  
broadly accepted - that’s not how it works.  for lack of a better term, it’s delusional & called Grindr (for free) 

the nycboi / socurious shtick has been playing for quite some time - is it even real ? 

Edited November 15, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

13 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

it's WONDERFUL and pleasant and quite frankly, a luxury to only see people you genuinely have fun with and enjoy.

Love this!

Have fun and enjoy should be the motto for all self-employed!

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Love this!

Have fun and enjoy should be the motto for all self-employed!

Thank you 🙏🏽 call it an anthem, call it daily affirmation, it's something that I think about every single day and I'm very grateful for. At some point all of us have to hope to reach a point where if it's not fun, you just don't do it and that's exactly how I feel about it. In simple terms, I don't spend any time with anybody I don't really like and genuinely enjoy 😊 

[socurious]

34 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

several people have asked you to post your RM profile link - why not ?  I’m so curious 

Um, I already posted my profile a few months ago. Those that remember know it well. A few others have also DM' me to see it.

I get the impression you are assuming stuff. You asked me for my review on another thread as if I wasn't being honest about what I said there. 

People often assume in I'm early 30s or mid 30s at most.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, socurious said:

Um, I already posted my profile a few months ago. Those that remember know it well. A few others have also DM' me to see it.

I'm not certain but I think he may have meant for you to attach it as your signature like many of us have  so that every time you post,  somebody has the ability to find and contact you. Think of it as extra marketing/advertising and exposure. 

[socurious]

51 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

the picky comment was because he indicated he wanted to select clients based on how they look & how sexually appealing they are to him - not because the potential clients were pleasant or unpleasant.  
broadly accepted - that’s not how it works.  for lack of a better term, it’s delusional & called Grindr (for free)

Buddy, that’s an old post from nearly 2 years ago. I started the business this year in the summer. 

I don't choose my clients. At the very beginning and since I was new in the business (unsure), I tried to do it a few times. But after so many potential clients flaked I understood it wasn't the best idea. For security purposes I also thought it was necessary.

Why is this relevant? Like really, searching for old posts for this. No bueno.

Edited November 15, 2023 by socurious

[socurious]

12 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

I'm not certain but I think he may have meant for you to attach it as your signature like many of us have  so that every time you post,  somebody has the ability to find and contact you. Think of it as extra marketing/advertising and exposure. 

I prefer not to do right now. But thanks for the advice. 

[socurious]

55 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

That's not a bad thing.... that comes with time. It's even better when you don't have to grit your teeth, see and spend time with unpleasant people, or just see folks just  because the mortgage payment is due...

it's WONDERFUL and pleasant and quite frankly, a luxury to only see people you genuinely have fun with and enjoy. TRUST & BELIEVE me. 

Yes. Exactly. At the end escorts are entitled to see whoever they want. I won't be providing service to clients that don't know how treat people (for example). 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

 I’m no longer so curious

[socurious]

1 minute ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

 I’m no longer so curious

Why? 

[pubic_assistance]

5 hours ago, socurious said:

I just did.

NYC shows more than 300+ profiles.

Dallas about 200.

San Diego a total of 156.

To me...doing the math. I would say it's Dallas and San Diego that have the saturated markets. NOT NYC.

There's a bigger gay/bi community in New York than those other two cities and the tourism is FAR more busy so by comparison 300 is a minimal number to serve the huge tourist industry in NYC alone.

 

Edited November 15, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[SouthOfTheBorder]

don’t waste your time guys - this is a pattern

[Guest]

1 hour ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

don’t waste your time guys - this is a pattern

Well........ I can only hope that an ephebe, someone just starting out, or anyone for that matter,  will make use of the very valuable information that has been posted. Everything is either an opportunity or a lesson. 

[socurious]

1 hour ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

don’t waste your time guys - this is a pattern

What's your problem? You are mad because I stated my limitations 2 years ago? Now you are posting irrelevant pieces of an argument I had with another poster back in 2017? You omitted the whole part where NYCman attacked me lol. How cute is that. You are here trying to make look like a bad guy now. 

And it's true that I already posted my profile on here. You tried to imply I was hiding it lol. I won't post it anymore for privacy concerns. 

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by socurious

[Jarrod_Uncut]

7 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Also based on previous threads, this person was annoyed with a 3 hour round-trip travel to a customer.  If you're working in San Diego or practically any large city in California, be prepared for long commutes to your clients to be the norm.

Actually, I’m always surprised by how little I have to travel when I’m in California (except for Los Angeles…in fact in the 3-4 times I stayed in the area, clients either wanted to come to me or, I found someone with a place and bunked with them for a couple/few days. I’ve yet to have an actual outcall pan out). 
 

However in San Diego and San Francisco, Outcalls were always within the same areas of Hillcrest/Castro/Oakland. I spend more time driving around the Midwest than I do in California. Even at $5 gas in California, once I got there I was barely doing much distance driving at all. Meanwhile in Kansas city, I’m spending $20-$30 every time I leave the house. The longest commutes were the traveling to California or going from one city to the next and getting caught in traffic. I’ve learned to just drive to/from California late at night after rush hour.

 

11 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

Isn’t that the point ?

Escorts, whether they know it or not, are creating a brand identify from the moment they enter the scene, usually by a listing on RM or similar site.  From that moment going forward, the public brand or image is shaped by site reviews, Twitter, OnlyFans, personal appearances, forums word-of-mouth & self-participation in forums like this. All of that goes to image and reputation.

I’m not sure that an escort complaining about all the typical escort issues in an online forum (that is populated by people who hire escorts) where the escorts identity is known and affects his brand or image is helpful.  Some people might think the escort is too negative and others might think too uptight/rigid. Others might just be turned off by the complaining. I don’t think it has any upside for the escort, other than if it makes them feel better by venting.  

When I hire, I’m looking for a bit of an escape, adventure, fantasy & sex all rolled into one hour.  And I want it to be easy.  If there was an escort that I wanted to hire & was very public about all his complaints, troubles, frustrations, etc - i wouldn’t hire that person because maybe that negativity could show up in my appointment ?  I’d choose to hire the person who presents publicly as happy, successful, fun & sexy.  I want to maximize my chances of having a good experience and not get caught up in any provider negativity, however than manifests. 

Of course everyone has struggles & challenges - it’s how a person deals with them that makes the difference. A positive mindset is everything and if that can be created, then eventually positive things start to happen. And the reverse is also true.  

 

I get what you’re saying. I want it to be fun, easy and drama free too. We both want the same things. So we’re on the same page.
 

However, that’s not always what’s given back to us. No matter how bubbly you want it to be, there’s things that take place in the industry from clients that have to be addressed. And I’ve said it before: this forum isn’t necessarily an advertisement venue only. It’s for discussions. I know I probably complain more than…what some want to hear, but I feel better to do it here than to do it in my ads. People often say, they don’t want to read someone saying: “no timewasters, serious inquiries only”. Okay, fair enough. But this here I feel, is a place to actually have adult conversations beyond just fantasy and escape. 
 

What I want to hear: instead of talking about or being compared to other escorts who don’t pay my bills…is for clients to take accountability. Reliability. Responsibility. I notice, on this forum and from clients on RM, there seems to be a lack of all those things. Not taking accountability for the fact they requested an appointment that the provider may have took seriously, no reliability for the appointment they requested that the provider may have taken seriously, and no responsibility for the fact that…they requested an appointment and the provider likely took them seriously. And what did they do? Ghost. Flake. Cancel. No show. Don’t respond to messages. Play bullshit games and then play the same bullshit game again a few months later like I wouldn’t remember it happened. Like this one guy on RMasseur:

First of all, he can’t even say my name. Who the fuck is guy? My name is not guy. It sounds like he sends the same message to…every guy. And those are just two messages. Not sure what happened to his previous messages (I’ve upgraded iPhones about 3 times and sometimes messages get lost), but I remember this guy previously playing games with me, and him being an asshole when I requested a cancellation fee. That’s why I kept my messages very short with him. But then he fails to reply, so now he’s blocked on my phone and RentMasseur. 
 

Then, these same people get an attitude and want to fight with me when I tell them: “you owe me a cancellation fee.” But then they want to argue like they never booked anything in the first place. Then why the FUCK are you contacting me in the first place if you didn’t want to book anything? Like…are they mentally ill or just intentionally insulting? It’s got to be one or the other. It can’t be neither because, it doesn’t make sense why a normal person would do stuff like that. Period. 
 

And that’s the thing. Clients want us to all be a certain way, yet rare so I see them fighting for themselves like we fight for ourselves. More clients need to be out marching and demanding legalization. In Texas, there should have been an uprising. Not just a, “It’s illegal now so I’m just going to waste a bunch of escorts time and not book anything, just to be safe.”
 

Where’s the clients keeping their appointments and not wasting provider’s time with endless inquiries that never go anywhere? Don’t compare and contrast, be the example. Because guess what?

It’s a lot of gay guys who don’t charge for their time and etc etc. does that mean I should be like them and also not charge? That’s about as silly as comparing an escort to what other escorts do, and I don’t like when people do that. Like some will say: “you’re the first guy to ever ask me a deposit”. Well I’m also one of the only Black escorts advertising in a section of town which has a large convention presence, to begin with. And one of the few consistent ones in a town that consistently only has White and Latino advertisers posting. What point are they trying to make that’s supposed to persuade me into believing I need to conform to some invisible standard of what a provider “should” do?

Edited November 16, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[socurious]

I don't understand why some people get upset because you state your boundaries. Escorts are entitled to have their limitations. It's our right. If you don’t like it just move on and hire someone else. Selling sex is a serious matter and can get you into jail. It's not for everyone. 

Edited November 16, 2023 by socurious

[Jarrod_Uncut]

4 hours ago, socurious said:

I don't understand why some people get upset because you state your boundaries. Escorts are entitled to have their limitations. It's our right. If you don’t like it just move on and hire someone else. Selling sex is a serious matter and can get you into jail. It's not for everyone. 

And not just that, clients have to be willing to understand why someone has boundaries to begin with. That’s the issue. They’re quick to think hiring someone else is the solution, but in reality they have to be a bit more discerning about who they’re picking. 
 

Every time I read or hear someone saying they don’t want to or never have/will pay a deposit (and sorry I know that’s redundant topic), I just 🤦🏾‍♂️ because it’s like: they don’t get it. I’ve tried and tried and tried to do things without one, and it never fails. By getting a deposit from especially a new client, I cut my chances exponentially of having my time and effort dashed. It’s not even a personal issue. It’s just common sense and experience. If I do without, it’s only if the client is very conveniently located: and is available to  host AND/OR travel.
 

But not these jokers who be like, “where are you?” can’t always be relied on to show up. And I’m definitely not coming out of pocket booking hotel rooms and driving long distances for that.

Edited November 16, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[SouthOfTheBorder]

6 hours ago, socurious said:

don't understand why some people get upset because you state your boundaries.

it has nothing to do with stating boundaries 

I’m a relatively new member here - less than a year, so I had no idea about your history on this site which goes back several years under a few different names.  I didn’t go looking for your old posts - another member posted a link to some of your old posts that contained the same sort of nonsensical statements/questions/posts on a variety of topics.  
After briefly reviewing those posts & several long-time members reactions to those posts - the appearance is you are not interested in any real help or advice, just engaging members here with the nonsense.  That’s the problem - people were sincerely trying to help you & you’re playing some sort of game and wasting everyone’s time.

My sense now is that you go through episodes just like this, where you are found out, then a bunch of members place you on ignore and then you start again with unsuspecting people that don’t know your game.  Then you run to the mods and complain, trying to get them to delete posts that look bad for you.

Just my opinion - but I think every bit of this is bullshit and that seems to be a recurring theme because that’s what many members have posted in direct responses to you over the years.  It’s easy to verify because it’s all here.  In this case, screenshots are not your friend.  You’ve been wasting peoples time for years here who were all trying to sincerely help you.  Pathetic 

btw - your constant nonsense questions/posts about being an escort are insulting to the real escorts here, who are trying to really improve the way they do business and take this all seriously.  The providers here make their living this way.  It’s a job that requires a lot of skill, hard work & dedication - and you treat it like a joke.  They aren’t here to pose hypothetical nonsense to generate controversy, get attention or kill time.  Clearly, you do not make a living doing escort work.  I can’t imagine any real client who would ever hire you based on how you  present yourself here.  

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder