Stalking

[NyGold]

Providers use burner numbers too. Insisting on a non-burner for comms speaks to alarms being raised about the intention of the person asking for it. 

Im fine if my provider pool is smaller because of my use. I have no trouble completing my dance card without surrendering that privacy.  

[Guest]

On 8/24/2023 at 11:09 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

Have you ever been stalked by a provider ?...

 

 

But, seriously, if someone you don't want is sending you unwanted texts or calls, just block the caller. 

[DWnyc]

For the providers here and elsewhere who talk of leverage they need to have and hence the client non burner number requirement, or how they look up MrNumber and maybe file complaints etc - 

have you actually looked up your own mr number entries?

it can be painful - like googling onesself a but I’ve often seen some negative comments which are more explicit and less diplomatic than reviews on this site 

 

[NyGold]

I once met a provider at his place in an SRO facility (often used for people with disabilities and low income). Typically you have to show Id to enter if not a resident. He didn’t tell me about this when he gave me the address.

WhileI  was annoyed, I figured I’d gone all the way over, and made a commitment to come without prepayment, so I should honor the appointment.

The lady processing visitors leaned forward and said “I don’t know what your business is with X but you should know he comes down sometimes to ask for names and details of the people we sign in - and we’re not supposed to do that but some people on the shift will give it to him - so if you care about that, I’ll let you in without taking a copy” … -I again thought of leaving but  took her up on that and went up. Everything good - no mention of this- left a nice tip which provider was surprised by and said most don’t, said I should look him up whenever I wanted etc - all good.

The next day I got a stern text from him “what are you trying to hide?” - he claimed I got him in trouble by visiting without showing my id and not letting the front desk take a copy. Didn’t make sense as why would he get in trouble if I or someone at the front desk had done something wrong. 

The only explanation I can think of is he wanted my details and couldn’t get them from the front desk as the lady had waived me through without taking them.

This incident certainly increased my alertness to the need to maintain control of my info. 
 

[Guest]

On 8/28/2023 at 2:14 PM, samhexum said:

Thank god I'm poor and don't have to deal with all this mishegos.

DEFINITIONS

• n. "Foolishness, nonsense, craziness." 

EXAMPLE SENTENCES

• "I don't want to get involved in their mishegos."

LANGUAGES OF ORIGIN

• Yiddish

😜😂 Tomfoolery 

[+ DrownedBoy]

21 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

Ethnic and/or racial stereotyping = claiming that members of a specific group will always do something in the same way  🙄

Cultural differences and stereotyping are 2 different things. Facts aren't racist. And I found an example of that "stereotyped" behavior by a member of that culture. 

[JTtorretto]

On 9/3/2023 at 2:26 PM, NyGold said:

I once met a provider at his place in an SRO facility (often used for people with disabilities and low income). Typically you have to show Id to enter if not a resident. He didn’t tell me about this when he gave me the address.

WhileI  was annoyed, I figured I’d gone all the way over, and made a commitment to come without prepayment, so I should honor the appointment.

The lady processing visitors leaned forward and said “I don’t know what your business is with X but you should know he comes down sometimes to ask for names and details of the people we sign in - and we’re not supposed to do that but some people on the shift will give it to him - so if you care about that, I’ll let you in without taking a copy” … -I again thought of leaving but  took her up on that and went up. Everything good - no mention of this- left a nice tip which provider was surprised by and said most don’t, said I should look him up whenever I wanted etc - all good.

The next day I got a stern text from him “what are you trying to hide?” - he claimed I got him in trouble by visiting without showing my id and not letting the front desk take a copy. Didn’t make sense as why would he get in trouble if I or someone at the front desk had done something wrong. 

The only explanation I can think of is he wanted my details and couldn’t get them from the front desk as the lady had waived me through without taking them.

This incident certainly increased my alertness to the need to maintain control of my info. 
 

No no no, dont blame the guy.  
 

Blame the "helpful" receptionist who clearly "threw you under the bus" once her work was checked over by her supervisor and she was asked why she didnt have a copy of your ID (she told her supervisor that you refused as she couldn't tell them the truth as it'd reflect negatively on her failing to do her job properly). 
 

tell the dude the trurh, of what she advised you and what happened.

[NyGold]

11 hours ago, JTtorretto said:

No no no, dont blame the guy.  
 

Blame the "helpful" receptionist who clearly "threw you under the bus" once her work was checked over by her supervisor and she was asked why she didnt have a copy of your ID (she told her supervisor that you refused as she couldn't tell them the truth as it'd reflect negatively on her failing to do her job properly). 
 

tell the dude the trurh, of what she advised you and what happened.

I don’t blame the guy other than he didn’t warn me the expectation was someone working for the City in a building run by the government would take a copy of my ID. Had I known that I likely wouldn’t have made the appointment in the first place. 

 

[Nodalguy]

I was able to find out the real first name of a provider once because of an online service he used to send me some info. Using just that plus the fact that I knew he had been arrested and the general area and rough time period, I was able to search through public records and find out his full identity and pull his criminal record (had to pay for the criminal record pull, but I used the info I got freely to request it). A couple other rentboy regulars I also was able to look up with just their real first name and pull their criminal records. 

I didn't do anything with the info at all, but I did want to confirm what kinds of charges they were prosecuted for (nothing that concerned me, just possession of controlled substances and DUI, that sort of thing). Nothing violent, no theft or robbery, no fraud.

I guess my point is just to be careful. Depending on the circumstances, even just a real first name can be really revealing.

[DWnyc]

Not uncommon for some in the profession to have a background like that. Some will even talk about it.

Which is why I don’t blame some providers for wishing anonymity or discretion - and they should therefore respect the same for clients even if driven by different reasons. 

 

 

 

 

[NJF]

1 hour ago, Nodalguy said:

I was able to find out the real first name of a provider once because of an online service he used to send me some info. Using just that plus the fact that I knew he had been arrested and the general area and rough time period, I was able to search through public records and find out his full identity and pull his criminal record (had to pay for the criminal record pull, but I used the info I got freely to request it). A couple other rentboy regulars I also was able to look up with just their real first name and pull their criminal records. 

I didn't do anything with the info at all, but I did want to confirm what kinds of charges they were prosecuted for (nothing that concerned me, just possession of controlled substances and DUI, that sort of thing). Nothing violent, no theft or robbery, no fraud.

I guess my point is just to be careful. Depending on the circumstances, even just a real first name can be really revealing.

I do background checks too. Speeding or DUI are fine. Theft and identity fraud are iffy. Assault and drug trafficking are deal breakers 

[DWnyc]

On 9/3/2023 at 3:26 PM, solacesoul said:

Considering that there are actually board members / clients here and elsewhere that doxx / investigate other board members / clients, then I suppose what you do is just as acceptable. 

People do it on dating sites, when hiring / interviewing candidates for a job, when considering roommates etc 

If using information you have obtained through disclosure (eg a phone number) rather than by stalking / going through someone’s personal items etc - I don’t see anything wrong in it. what you do with it is of course where it can become problematic. 

[Guest]

On 9/3/2023 at 10:47 AM, DrownedBoy said:

Holy sh!t, I looked that up, and now I realize why he was doing that!!!

 

On 9/3/2023 at 11:25 AM, Marc in Calif said:

Ethnic and/or racial stereotyping = claiming that members of a specific group will always do something in the same way  🙄

I don't think he said always. He said "...now I realize why HE was doing that...".

Edited September 5, 2023 by Unicorn

[Luv2play]

On 8/30/2023 at 5:41 AM, solacesoul said:

It’s now (new law as of 2021) a felony in the State of Texas — the second most populous state in the USA — to engage or offer to engage in an act of prostitution. First-time is 2 years in jail and a $10,000 fine. Second time is a third-degree felony with even harsher penalties.

 

If that is the case it doesn't appear to be working. On RM the number of ads in Dallas and Houston has increased over the past years. Moreover many travelling escorts make a point to visit there frequently. 

I have taken it to be because there is so much wealth in these cities that the attraction to make easy money is just too tempting for escorts. I wpuld think if the authorities are cracking down with the new laws we would have heard about it and particularly the escorts who work there.

[Nodalguy]

1 hour ago, NJF said:

I do background checks too. Speeding or DUI are fine. Theft and identity fraud are iffy. Assault and drug trafficking are deal breakers 

I guess it depends on the "drug trafficking." Are we talking about organized gang activity or just small scale dealing? The first guy I mentioned who inadvertently revealed his real first name to me was my connection for a while. His record was just for Driving While Intoxicated (alcohol). He was very smart and extremely resourceful and could get anything. But after I think at least 35k of successful transactions (I was hooked on something for a bit and have since kicked it completely), he was setting something up on my behalf for only $750 that fell through and he just kept my money. I still say he was smart even though it was f-ing dumb for him to burn a bridge with me. He was an addicted daily meth user, and I have found some of them at times to be unreliable or to make questionable decisions.

[MikeBiDude]

One more positive note on my iPhone Burner app that I was just need reminded of. It works great with WhatsApp! I'm finding more and more providers and potential friends from seeking.com are happy to switch our messaging to WhatsApp. And no green "bubble" messages which seem to offend some people 🤷🏻‍♂️

[+ Pensant]

On 8/25/2023 at 5:30 PM, tassojunior said:

and don't forget with facial recognition now here everywhere, no unobstructed face photos. Or just no photos. 

I absolutely do not send photos to newbies. One cutie and I texted about a meetup until he “required” my pics. It wasn’t an angry response. He said he does it for verification purposes and I replied that yes, everyone has their own process. I could’ve asked another provider who knows him to vouch for me, but perhaps I’ll do that when we meet later this month.

[Guest]

21 hours ago, Nodalguy said:

...He was an addicted daily meth user, and I have found some of them at times to be unreliable or to make questionable decisions.

😄

Edited September 6, 2023 by Unicorn

[marylander1940]

On 9/5/2023 at 5:43 PM, NJF said:

I do background checks too. Speeding or DUI are fine. Theft and identity fraud are iffy. Assault and drug trafficking are deal breakers 

What about possession of control substance?

With that list you just took 50% of providers from your "hiring pool". 

 

[Nodalguy]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

😄

Well he was damn capable and reliable for a while 🤣. What I think happened is he just found it impossible after some months to get any more of what I was looking for, at least in the quality and quantity I wanted. So his thinking was probably that he was not missing out, but he could have worked with me to find something else maybe that would work.

The other very un-meth-addict like thing about him is he would absolutely not bareback (even topping BB), which is why I moved away from him as a rentboy after a little bit and engaged him to use his other talents.

A couple years after that and after I had moved away from that city, I was back in town for work and who hits me up on Grindr but him?? (He was on a new account, so I don't think he could have friended me or anything like that.) I just told him he still owed me 750 🤣.

Sorry, I'm kind of rambling, but it was actually an interesting time in my life and a little fun for me to think back to.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Nodalguy said:

... I just told him he still owed me 750 🤣.,,

$750! Yow, that's quite a habit. And a life lesson...

[NyGold]

On 9/6/2023 at 1:43 AM, MikeBiDude said:

One more positive note on my iPhone Burner app that I was just need reminded of. It works great with WhatsApp! I'm finding more and more providers and potential friends from seeking.com are happy to switch our messaging to WhatsApp. And no green "bubble" messages which seem to offend some people 🤷🏻‍♂️

Those offended by the green bubble will test your number from WhatsApp and still not be happy - they don’t want your color to be blue per se, they want your name and address (and where you work, contact info for the closest people in your life etc)

 

[NyGold]

On 9/6/2023 at 7:32 AM, Pensant said:

I absolutely do not send photos to newbies. One cutie and I texted about a meetup until he “required” my pics. It wasn’t an angry response. He said he does it for verification purposes and I replied that yes, everyone has their own process. I could’ve asked another provider who knows him to vouch for me, but perhaps I’ll do that when we meet later this month.

That’s often where the process breaks down for some (unless they realize they’ll lose the client entirely and therefore the revenue)

Because you’re not typically solving a problem of him needing to feel safe … you’re providing him info he feels he needs on you for other purposes than what he states

 

[NJF]

19 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

What about possession of control substance?

With that list you just took 50% of providers from your "hiring pool". 

 

You are probably right 😂 

[Marc in Calif]

On 9/5/2023 at 3:17 PM, Unicorn said:

I don't think he said always. He said "...now I realize why HE was doing that...".

The original ethnic stereotyper (to whom I responded) was Vulgarii, who implied exactly that:

On 9/2/2023 at 10:57 PM, Vulgarii said:

 

I've noticed that clients from a particular ethnic group that is aware of these witchy practices will refuse to use my towels and insist on using toilet paper and flushing it.