When you find a provider on a dating or hookup site

[+ Just Sayin]

hey guys, I found a guy on RM that I was considering hiring; in checking out Growlr, I found him there too; there is no hint of his work as a provider on Growlr; how have others handled this?

[maninsoma]

This isn't an unusual situation. 

If you think he might be interested in you as an unpaid hookup, then contact him on Growlr and see how it goes.  If you think there's no way he's looking for your "type" apart from work, then contact him via his Rentmen contact info.  Note that some guys do actually "work" using platforms that supposedly don't allow it, so don't be surprised if the response to a Growlr inquiry asks for compensation.

[ICTJOCK]

1 hour ago, Just Sayin said:

hey guys, I found a guy on RM that I was considering hiring; in checking out Growlr, I found him there too; there is no hint of his work as a provider on Growlr; how have others handled this?

Seek a discount on "Growlr".... LOL       

Seriously,  I'd probably hit him up on the Growlr  site and see if he says anything about being a provider.  If so,   you know how to handle it,  if not,  you might get a hookup for less.

[+ keroscenefire]

I've seen most Denver escorts on the dating sites. Sniffies is quite common now. If it's a guy I've already hired, than I really just ignore them on those sites completely and truly don't even acknowledge it if I hire them again. 

I did hookup with a guy whose ad I checked out on Rent.men but who I never actually hired. It was on Sniffies and his initial picture was not his face so I didn't really know he had an ad on Rent.men until we chatted for a bit. It was hot hookup. He's a bit of an older guy and he did mention when we hooked up that he was going on a "trip with a friend" soon, which I interpreted as a hiring trip. But otherwise he never said anything about being an escort or asked me to compensate him in any way.

Escorts get horny and want to hook up or even have a relationship too. If you haven't hired the escort, I say go for it on the apps. If you have, I think that's a bit awkward and certainly you shouldn't expect anything to change just because you saw him on Growlr.

[JayinHKNYC]

Be prepared for guys chatting you up on an app, playing up everything in your and his profile, hooking into you, only to turn and say, "That will be $400". So disingenuous and unprofessional and hypocritical.

[sutherland]

I do see plenty of providers on Grindr.  If a guy taps me, and he is 25 years old with a great body I don't even waste my time - he'll want $$$

[Simon Suraci]

I recommend ignoring known providers if you see them around on apps, especially if you’ve already hired them in the past. Neither the provider nor the client likes having that awkward conversation.

Some providers may not mention anything about their work in their profile. Depending on which app, they may be forced to use only hints or coded language to avoid being flagged. If he is using the apps strictly for provider work, he will probably make that clear quickly into a chat conversation regardless of how forthcoming the profile is. If he doesn’t, then may the force be with you. Grab a shot of liquid courage and proceed carefully.

If you’ve never hired the provider before, feel free to shoot your shot. However, the best thing you can do for yourself (and him) is to hire instead. When you hire, you are his priority. He is less likely to flake on you and motivated to show you the best time that he can. You’re probably into him in large part because he’s attractive. So is everyone else. If you think you’re more attractive or compelling than the vast majority of guys contacting him for a freebie, more power to you, but more often than not you will be disappointed. Even if you are more on the conventionally attractive side, maybe it still won’t work. You never know. People are into different types. It’s just a game of how likely any one guy is going to be into you specifically. Even if you are appealing to him, there’s always a “better offer” out there for freebies. Compensation changes everything.

Let’s say you go for it and it doesn’t work out. Then you have the double whammy of making any possibility of hiring him in the future an awkward proposition. In the likely case of failing to finagle a freebie, you kill your chances of having a normal hiring relationship with him. The fastest, easiest, best way to get exactly what you want is to hire!!!

Adam4Adam works well for me because it allows us to post “pro” profiles specifically designed for those offering some kind of service. You can filter using that search criteria and that helps more quickly connect those looking with those offering. I only use A4A for work and I get quite a few clients that way. I get the occasional hopeful dope who doesn’t bother to read the profile or notice “pro” plastered all over it. I send a kind reply to clarify and that solves the problem tout de suite.

[+ purplekow]

46 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

I recommend ignoring known providers if you see them around on apps, especially if you’ve already hired them in the past. Neither the provider nor the client likes having that awkward conversation.

Some providers may not mention anything about their work in their profile. Depending on which app, they may be forced to use only hints or coded language to avoid being flagged. If he is using the apps strictly for provider work, he will probably make that clear quickly into a chat conversation regardless of how forthcoming the profile is. If he doesn’t, then may the force be with you. Grab a shot of liquid courage and proceed carefully.

If you’ve never hired the provider before, feel free to shoot your shot. However, the best thing you can do for yourself (and him) is to hire instead. When you hire, you are his priority. He is less likely to flake on you and motivated to show you the best time that he can. You’re probably into him in large part because he’s attractive. So is everyone else. If you think you’re more attractive or compelling than the vast majority of guys contacting him for a freebie, more power to you, but more often than not you will be disappointed. Even if you are more on the conventionally attractive side, maybe it still won’t work. You never know. People are into different types. It’s just a game of how likely any one guy is going to be into you specifically. Even if you are appealing to him, there’s always a “better offer” out there for freebies. Compensation changes everything.

Let’s say you go for it and it doesn’t work out. Then you have the double whammy of making any possibility of hiring him in the future an awkward proposition. In the likely case of failing to finagle a freebie, you kill your chances of having a normal hiring relationship with him. The fastest, easiest, best way to get exactly what you want is to hire!!!

Adam4Adam works well for me because it allows us to post “pro” profiles specifically designed for those offering some kind of service. You can filter using that search criteria and that helps more quickly connect those looking with those offering. I only use A4A for work and I get quite a few clients that way. I get the occasional hopeful dope who doesn’t bother to read the profile or notice “pro” plastered all over it. I send a kind reply to clarify and that solves the problem tout de suite.

I am not sure why you believe that being turned down on a dating app precludes hiring that same gentleman.  Most clients realize they are not the dream man for their escort.  Most deal with that.  For those few who believe I could get this guy for free who find out they cannot, they probably can take the ego hit and hire.  For the rest of us mere mortals, if you want it you have to put some cash on it.  

[Simon Suraci]

11 minutes ago, purplekow said:

I am not sure why you believe that being turned down on a dating app precludes hiring that same gentleman.

I don’t. A client can hire anyway. More power to him if he does. For many clients, the experience would deter them from hiring that particular provider. It’s a gut punch to the client ego even if it’s not intended that way. Being turned down on the “for free” market might make hiring a less pleasurable experience. Maybe it has no impact on certain people. I bet for most it would at least discourage them from hiring that particular provider.

Would anyone here hire the provider anyway after being rejected on a dating/hookup app? Honestly, would you?

[builder boy]

Nope !

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

7 hours ago, Just Sayin said:

hey guys, I found a guy on RM that I was considering hiring; in checking out Growlr, I found him there too; there is no hint of his work as a provider on Growlr; how have others handled this?

This means the escort has a personal life.  

'Handling it' means not trying to hire him through a site that is for unpaid, casual sex.

Shoot your shot if you want, but don't be offended if he says no.

[+ keroscenefire]

 

These new apps like Sniffies are interesting because they are very much about sex and very location based. You literally see where they are on a map. Multiple escorts use it in Denver for hook-up purposes. 

Shoot your shot but do realize that even if it is successful, it's a hookup not an escort experience. So it's not about your pleasure and making it all about you. There's a lot more give and take.

[+ DynamicUno]

15 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I don’t. A client can hire anyway. More power to him if he does. For many clients, the experience would deter them from hiring that particular provider. It’s a gut punch to the client ego even if it’s not intended that way. Being turned down on the “for free” market might make hiring a less pleasurable experience. Maybe it has no impact on certain people. I bet for most it would at least discourage them from hiring that particular provider.

Would anyone here hire the provider anyway after being rejected on a dating/hookup app? Honestly, would you?

I haven't had the occasion to try, but itv depends how they decline meeting on the hookup app.  A polite response that they're not interested in me for a hookup might not be a deal breaker for my contracting them for a hire later.  A rude or brusk response would be different.

As people have already said, hiring is about the clients needs, hookups are about mutual needs. I know part of the hiring fantasy is about being desired, but it's still a transactional relationship.

[TorontoDrew]

I'd hire someone who shot me down on Grindr.  I wouldn't expect young and very hot men to hook up with 60 year old me for free.

[BonVivant]

Acknowledging reality is the key to successfully navigating between hookup apps and RM-type apps. Providence has given each of us strengths and weaknesses. No one has it all (no one!). So…. There are mutual needs and many ways to get them. 

[marylander1940]

22 hours ago, Just Sayin said:

hey guys, I found a guy on RM that I was considering hiring; in checking out Growlr, I found him there too; there is no hint of his work as a provider on Growlr; how have others handled this?

Most providers usually don't openly display a clear face picture in order to avoid this kind of circumstances. 

It's just like running into a neighbor on Grindr, no big deal! 

12 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

 

These new apps like Sniffies are interesting because they are very much about sex and very location based. You literally see where they are on a map. Multiple escorts use it in Denver for hook-up purposes. 

Shoot your shot but do realize that even if it is successful, it's a hookup not an escort experience. So it's not about your pleasure and making it all about you. There's a lot more give and take.

Is that better or worse?

Escorts do tend to be picky when it comes to doing the "deed" for free. Considering most guys are just "browsing" while running errands let's also take into account escorts are also hoping/expecting a call while wondering who's online. 

I do know many escorts who get laid specially when they're out of town but while they're done with work. 

 

39 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said:

I'd hire someone who shot me down on Grindr.  I wouldn't expect young and very hot men to hook up with 60 year old me for free.

What a refreshing honest post! Something we don't see often in this site!

Edited August 25, 2023 by marylander1940

[ChasingGirth]

Keep in mind that lots of guys will use escorts photos to catfish people. If you see an escort on a dating app, and if his profile has a link to a Twitter with a link to an OnlyFans he is just promoting his Twitter. A professional escort will not try to use Twitter to escort. They can get banned and from what I heard Grindr clients that want to hire on Grindr are usually cheap. I have seen amateurish guys offering their service, you can usually get them for less than what you would pay on RM, with the risk of getting banned yourself from Grindr and also the risk of meeting a scammer. 

[Pd1_jap]

Rejection is not the university the same. I've been rejected by escorts on Grindr and scruff but how they reject you also matters. Years ago when I had a 31" waist and 21" biceps  NickFit, or whatever name he's using now, contacted me and asked for a bunch of photos and he seemed really into it. But right before we were about to meet he blocked me. Some may say this was a catfish/pic collector but he was working as an assistant manager at a local store. I even went to confirm and he was there. I'll never hire him. 

My point here is, if an escort says something to the effect of, hey sorry you're not my type but I do offer massage services..., is very different than leading someone on and then just blocking them without explanation. A lot of this goes back to simple manners and courtesy. 

[+ keroscenefire]

56 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

 

Is that better or worse?

 

It's different is all. When you hire, I think the escort is more about making sure you get what you want and if there to provide that service. A hookup is definitely more about mutual pleasure. When I hooked up with the escort on the app, he actually wanted to bottom and almost certainly if I was hiring, I would bottom. But I like topping and we actually ended up flipping a bit. Overall it was a hot time but also definitely more down to just having sex and not a BFE experience.

[LA90046]

1 hour ago, Pd1_jap said:

But right before we were about to meet he blocked me.

This happened to me about a year and half ago.  Chatted with a guy on Grindr.  Decided to meet for a drink at The Eagle.  I was running about 5 minutes late so I messaged and let him know.  Got to The Eagle and got a drink then messaged him that I was at a tall table outside.  I then notice that the app indicates he is still two miles away.  Then the message "vanished" and I was kicked back to the main grid indicating I had been blocked.

[REDACTED]

So you're probably asking what does any of that have to do with the "When you find a provider on a dating or hookup site" subject of this thread. 

Well the person in those pics now has profiles on both RentMasseur and RentMen, although RentMen profile is expired, and the name on those profiles matches the name currently on the Scruff profile.

EDIT:  Apologies guys -- I went back and deleted a big chunk of this as I had second thoughts about going into as much detail as I did in a pubic form.

Edited August 25, 2023 by LA90046

[LA90046]

1 hour ago, Pd1_jap said:

Years ago when I had a 31" waist and 21" biceps

What do your biceps measure now?? 

Edited August 25, 2023 by LA90046

[blck37]

3 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

As people have already said, hiring is about the clients needs, hookups are about mutual needs. I know part of the hiring fantasy is about being desired, but it's still a transactional relationship.

This! Core difference that many ppl seem to forget.

[blck37]

2 hours ago, ChasingGirth said:

 They can get banned and from what I heard Grindr clients that want to hire on Grindr are usually cheap. I have seen amateurish guys offering their service, you can usually get them for less than what you would pay on RM, with the risk of getting banned yourself from Grindr and also the risk of meeting a scammer. 

Not a hearsay i dare say..... 

[blck37]

On 8/25/2023 at 1:56 AM, Just Sayin said:

hey guys, I found a guy on RM that I was considering hiring; in checking out Growlr, I found him there too; there is no hint of his work as a provider on Growlr; how have others handled this?

If i really really fancy him, I would hire him. Simply bcs i feel hiring (to certain extent) guarantee better sex than casual one because of him being under professional duty. I want him to do his ablsolute best and shower me with (fake) great interest - which not often happen with casual sex. 

Also the providers that i am interested in are definately out of my league, so might as well skip all the 'chase and court' phase and straight to 'i want you to fck me deep and hard' phase.

[Pd1_jap]

1 hour ago, LA90046 said:

What do your biceps measure now?? 

Prob closer to 16-18. Idk. It's been a while 🤪