Guys on hookup apps becoming suddenly prudent

[ShortCutie7]

Anyone else ever have this experience? It has happened to me twice and is baffling:

1- a guy on Scruff, after mutually unlocking x pics, seems to be enjoying chatting and interested in meeting for a hookup. The next morning, I message him something along the lines of “I just woke up rock hard; how would you get me off?” And he responds “I wouldn’t” and basically reprimands me for daring to have a sexy chat on a hookup app.  Like, dude, one of the pics you unlocked is you with a cock in your mouth… wtf?

2- a guy on Grindr whose main pic is his torso and who sent me two pics- his face pic and his torso from another angle- also seems to be interested and we’re chatting on/off for a few days.  I say something like “I still can’t get over how tight your body is” and he responds with “I’m still uncomfortable with you discussing my body”.  Huh?  You never said you were uncomfortable in the first place and two out of your three pics are of your torso.

I just don’t get it- has anyone had similar experiences or at least able to provide an explanation?

[coriolis888]

11 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

 

I just don’t get it- has anyone had similar experiences or at least able to provide an explanation?

An explanation?

Reason is that lots of guys on meeting apps have many problems and some are quite goofy. 

When I encounter a difficult "provider", I simply stop responding to their messages.   

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I just don’t get it- has anyone had similar experiences or at least able to provide an explanation?

A lot of gay men have a lot of issues. Their hyper-sexual behavior is often like an alter-ego that pops up temporarily and then they retreat into a false sense of propriety out of shame. They avoid their feelings of embarrassment by making YOU feel bad for playing along.

[+ Jamie21]

3 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

Anyone else ever have this experience? It has happened to me twice and is baffling:

1- a guy on Scruff, after mutually unlocking x pics, seems to be enjoying chatting and interested in meeting for a hookup. The next morning, I message him something along the lines of “I just woke up rock hard; how would you get me off?” And he responds “I wouldn’t” and basically reprimands me for daring to have a sexy chat on a hookup app.  Like, dude, one of the pics you unlocked is you with a cock in your mouth… wtf?

2- a guy on Grindr whose main pic is his torso and who sent me two pics- his face pic and his torso from another angle- also seems to be interested and we’re chatting on/off for a few days.  I say something like “I still can’t get over how tight your body is” and he responds with “I’m still uncomfortable with you discussing my body”.  Huh?  You never said you were uncomfortable in the first place and two out of your three pics are of your torso.

I just don’t get it- has anyone had similar experiences or at least able to provide an explanation?

Yes, most likely explanation is they got off on the chat. Once they short their load they weren’t interested any more. Lots of guys have some kind of internalised shame about their sexual urges. Once they’ve cum the shame resurfaces resulting in this change of behaviour. Best avoid those types if possible.

[+ azdr0710]

They may think it's prudent to be prudish....

[ShortCutie7]

Thanks for the responses, guys!  I did think of the shame piece, but I figured one has to be on the app in the first place in order to respond to a message…

[+ purplekow]

Once I shot my load, whether with a man or a woman, I need them to be physically present in order to remain interested.  If they are on e phone or a computer, thanks but see you next time my dick is hard.   Same thjng with porn, as soon as I shoot the shot, I am done with that foolish movie.  In real life, after a brief conversation about how great it was, I am ready for even greater activity.  

It certainly seems that at a distance, the physical release is the goal.  With a partner there, there is the shared intimacy and the fun of trying again ( and again and again, at least in my younger days.)

Edited August 12, 2023 by purplekow

[ICTJOCK]

LOL,  not sure I ever have seen the word "prudent"  used in conjunction with sex chat,  but there is a first.       I think the conversation was more about jacking off than reality.    I've never been on Grindr before,  but whether Adam or any other app,  ghosting or "changing course"  is pretty common.    I'd take it for what it is.   An example of someone horned up and in a fantasy  most likely.