Seeking Advice: Balancing Sensuality and Therapeutic Massage

[Lavioliste]

Hey fellow forum members,

I hope you're all doing well. I wanted to reach out and seek some advice on a recent experience I've had with a masseur. Let me give you some background before posing my question.

I recently came across a masseur who offers an amazing therapeutic massage, which has been incredibly beneficial for me. What caught my attention was that he also incorporates sensual elements into the session. To add to my interest, he happens to be a very attractive, masculine Mexican muscle daddy who fits my preferred type perfectly. The session includes sensual activities like oral pleasure for him and rimming for me, which adds an extra layer of excitement.

However, here's where I'm facing a dilemma. Despite the incredible sensations and the affordable price of $150 for a 2-hour massage, he does not allow me to climax and release. It's worth noting that he identifies as straight and has mentioned that he experiences release and climax during these sessions, but it's not something he extends to his clients.

This aspect leaves me uncertain about the overall worth of the experience. It's worth mentioning that I sense he doesn't openly advertise this part of the treatment.

My question to you all is whether or not you think this masseur is worth continuing to see. I'm torn because the therapeutic massage and sensuality are truly enjoyable, and the price is reasonable. On the other hand, the inability to reach climax is leaving me with a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Has anyone else encountered a similar situation? How did you navigate it? I would greatly appreciate your thoughts, insights, or any alternative suggestions you might have. My aim is to strike a balance between the sensual experience and the release I desire.

Looking forward to hearing from you and benefiting from your experiences.

[starman05]

If he’s that good, then try releasing before you go 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Lavioliste]

12 minutes ago, starman05 said:

If he’s that good, then try releasing before you go 🤷🏼‍♂️

I’ll try that 😃

[+ The Big Guy]

Probably not an arrangement I would pay for but if I am understanding the post, he is at least up front with the client that he will come and you will not.  I have to wonder the mindset of the masseur.  Sounds like he is straight but I have to wonder if he just enjoys making a gay client horny just to leave him unsatisfied.   Seems a little off to me.  If I were just looking for therapeutic massage, I might stick with him but ask him to leave out the sensual elements that are designed only to leave him satisfied.  

[GTMike]

3 hours ago, Lavioliste said:

Hey fellow forum members,

I hope you're all doing well. I wanted to reach out and seek some advice on a recent experience I've had with a masseur. Let me give you some background before posing my question.

I recently came across a masseur who offers an amazing therapeutic massage, which has been incredibly beneficial for me. What caught my attention was that he also incorporates sensual elements into the session. To add to my interest, he happens to be a very attractive, masculine Mexican muscle daddy who fits my preferred type perfectly. The session includes sensual activities like oral pleasure for him and rimming for me, which adds an extra layer of excitement.

However, here's where I'm facing a dilemma. Despite the incredible sensations and the affordable price of $150 for a 2-hour massage, he does not allow me to climax and release. It's worth noting that he identifies as straight and has mentioned that he experiences release and climax during these sessions, but it's not something he extends to his clients.

This aspect leaves me uncertain about the overall worth of the experience. It's worth mentioning that I sense he doesn't openly advertise this part of the treatment.

My question to you all is whether or not you think this masseur is worth continuing to see. I'm torn because the therapeutic massage and sensuality are truly enjoyable, and the price is reasonable. On the other hand, the inability to reach climax is leaving me with a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Has anyone else encountered a similar situation? How did you navigate it? I would greatly appreciate your thoughts, insights, or any alternative suggestions you might have. My aim is to strike a balance between the sensual experience and the release I desire.

Looking forward to hearing from you and benefiting from your experiences.

I'm kind of confused and just making sure i understand your dilemma correctly. Clarifying questions

1) 2 hour massage for $150 and a good portion of it is legit therapeutic

2) He says he's straight

3) The extra sensual aspects of it that you have experienced are that he receives oral and you receive rimming?

4) He has told you that he has had climax and release during sessions. Have those experienences been with you or he just said he has with others?

 

[Lavioliste]

1) correct 

2) correct 

3) correct

4) experience with me he climaxes but he purposely doesn’t allow me to

 

[Lavioliste]

46 minutes ago, The Big Guy said:

Probably not an arrangement I would pay for but if I am understanding the post, he is at least up front with the client that he will come and you will not.  I have to wonder the mindset of the masseur.  Sounds like he is straight but I have to wonder if he just enjoys making a gay client horny just to leave him unsatisfied.   Seems a little off to me.  If I were just looking for therapeutic massage, I might stick with him but ask him to leave out the sensual elements that are designed only to leave him satisfied.  

And I think that’s why I’m conflicted. The therapeutic part is great (and some of the sensual too) but I’m leaving unequally unsatisfied in the end. 

[Michael PhD]

28 minutes ago, Lavioliste said:

1) correct 

2) correct 

3) correct

4) experience with me he climaxes but he purposely doesn’t allow me to

 

Doesn’t allow you to? What’s the dynamic? Does it appear to be a dom/sub relationship?

[+ sniper]

Depends how good the rimming is  I guess. Do you think it might eventually lead to him fucking you and eventually "letting" yiu cum?

The rate alone is such that if the massage is good I think I'd keep seeing him.

[Lavioliste]

10 minutes ago, Michael PhD said:

Doesn’t allow you to? What’s the dynamic? Does it appear to be a dom/sub relationship?

Correct, as soon as I’m on my back and get aroused and I am clearly ready to climax, he tells me to turn back around so he could work on my glutes legs, he would continue to do more rimming on me and coax me to do more oral on him etc. then the massage ends soon after that. 
 

I don’t think we have a dom/sub relationship but he does have tendencies to be dominant in the sense that he tells me what to do I.e. stroke his c***k, raise my ass up in the air so he could have a better angle at it, etc. 

[Lavioliste]

Just now, sniper said:

Depends how good the rimming is  I guess. Do you think it might eventually lead to him fucking you and eventually "letting" yiu cum?

The rate alone is such that if the massage is good I think I'd keep seeing him.

I’d say it’s pretty damn good😅. He’s very talented with that tongue and he has a little stubble right now so it feels pretty amazing on my butt. He has tried to penetrate me but he came soon after and the massage ended fairly quickly after that. 
 

yeah I guess for the rate it’s good. Just not sure how I feel like almost being “used” for his pleasure. 

[Michael PhD]

4 minutes ago, Lavioliste said:

I’d say it’s pretty damn good😅. He’s very talented with that tongue and he has a little stubble right now so it feels pretty amazing on my butt. He has tried to penetrate me but he came soon after and the massage ended fairly quickly after that. 
 

yeah I guess for the rate it’s good. Just not sure how I feel like almost being “used” for his pleasure. 

Being “used”… maybe you give out a vibe that you want to be used? No judgment but if it’s important for you, maybe worth bringing up. He can still act dominant and you can get off… as a top sometimes I think that the guy wants that kind of mind and body control and that is a turn on. 

[Lavioliste]

1 minute ago, Michael PhD said:

Being “used”… maybe you give out a vibe that you want to be used? No judgment but if it’s important for you, maybe worth bringing up. He can still act dominant and you can get off… as a top sometimes I think that the guy wants that kind of mind and body control and that is a turn on. 

That is an interesting take for sure.  Perhaps I have some unresolved sub feelings I need to address. In my daily/professional life, I’m usually the more dominant one so I perhaps do enjoy acting the opposite role.  I’ll heed your advice and bring it up as it’s played a little bit into my psyche. 

[GTMike]

26 minutes ago, Lavioliste said:

I’d say it’s pretty damn good😅. He’s very talented with that tongue and he has a little stubble right now so it feels pretty amazing on my butt. He has tried to penetrate me but he came soon after and the massage ended fairly quickly after that. 
 

yeah I guess for the rate it’s good. Just not sure how I feel like almost being “used” for his pleasure. 

Based on your comments and answers and your experience, i might agree with others who are suggesting maybe to keep and try to see what could be arranged.

FWIW i'll also comment that based on your comments I might also be wondering if he's genuinely truly "straight", hahaha. (But don't confront or question him on that directly !!)

[Lavioliste]

20 minutes ago, GTMike said:

Based on your comments and answers and your experience, i might agree with others who are suggesting maybe to keep and try to see what could be arranged.

FWIW i'll also comment that based on your comments I might also be wondering if he's genuinely truly "straight", hahaha. (But don't confront or question him on that directly !!)

I’ll try that and see what we can arrange. And I think you’re right. He may not be as straight as he claims to be lol he does come from a very traditional Mexican family so he maybe battling some internal homophobia? Idk. 

[+ Mrprofessional]

18 minutes ago, GTMike said:

Based on your comments and answers and your experience, i might agree with others who are suggesting maybe to keep and try to see what could be arranged.

FWIW i'll also comment that based on your comments I might also be wondering if he's genuinely truly "straight", hahaha. (But don't confront or question him on that directly !!)

He is *totally* getting off on doing something “forbidden” in his own mind but it’s not gay bc the client isn’t climaxing. 

 Lav you’re the client. Get what you want and if he’s not offering it, then get it somewhere else. Worth searching for. In my opinion. Life’s too short to be tormented. Unless that’s what you actually want. 🙂

[Lavioliste]

Just now, Mrprofessional said:

He is *totally* getting off on doing something “forbidden” in his own mind but it’s not gay bc the client isn’t climaxing. 

 Lav you’re the client. Get what you want and if he’s not offering it, then get it somewhere else. Worth searching for. In my opinion. Life’s too short to be tormented. Unless that’s what you actually want. 🙂

That’s a really interesting point.  It may be such a taboo thing that it’s become a fetish for him. It’s also a bit annoying that he likes to talk about his heterosexual encounters. IDC to hear about it to be honest. 
 

On the other hand, I am a glutton for punishment haha but this is just frustrating (mentally and physically). I’ll give it one more go and move on if I can’t get what I truly want. 

[+ Mrprofessional]

2 minutes ago, Lavioliste said:

That’s a really interesting point.  It may be such a taboo thing that it’s become a fetish for him. It’s also a bit annoying that he likes to talk about his heterosexual encounters. IDC to hear about it to be honest. 
 

On the other hand, I am a glutton for punishment haha but this is just frustrating (mentally and physically). I’ll give it one more go and move on if I can’t get what I truly want. 

Hate to say it but I need to: Be careful too. Encounters where “straight” guys think they’ve been pushed too far too quickly

can become violent. I had a friend in San Diego who lost his life to a marine that “snapped” during an encounter. 

[Lavioliste]

Just now, Mrprofessional said:

Hate to say it but I need to: Be careful too. Encounters where “straight” guys think they’ve been pushed too far too quickly

can become violent. I had a friend in San Diego who lost his life to a marine that “snapped” during an encounter. 

That’s scary. I’m truly sorry to hear about your friend. I wish they caught the guy and your friend and his family found retribution. 
 

I’ve seen this guy for about two years on and off but didn’t go to him for about year. So I feel fairly safe around him. Today was my first time back and I remembered why I stopped. 

[Lavioliste]

Here is what I plan to send my masseur 
 

Hey Louis, I hope you're doing well. I wanted to reach out and have an open conversation about something that has been on my mind. I really appreciate the therapeutic benefits I've experienced from your massages in the past, but I have to be honest about my feelings.

During our sessions, I've noticed that while you're able to reach climax and find pleasure, I don't have the same opportunity to release. This leaves me feeling unsatisfied and somewhat used, as if the focus is solely on your pleasure rather than mutual enjoyment.

I'm sorry if this comes across as blunt, but I believe it's important to address these concerns. I wanted to propose a potential solution: could we agree to an arrangement where we both have the opportunity to climax? It's essential for me to feel that our encounters are balanced and mutually fulfilling. If this isn't something we can agree upon, I regret to say that I won't be able to continue seeing you under the same terms.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from and that we can find a resolution that works for both of us. If we do continue, I would like to establish clear boundaries, making it strictly therapeutic moving forward.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 
 

What do you guys think?

[Michael PhD]

5 minutes ago, Lavioliste said:

Here is what I plan to send my masseur 
 

Hey Louis, I hope you're doing well. I wanted to reach out and have an open conversation about something that has been on my mind. I really appreciate the therapeutic benefits I've experienced from your massages in the past, but I have to be honest about my feelings.

During our sessions, I've noticed that while you're able to reach climax and find pleasure, I don't have the same opportunity to release. This leaves me feeling unsatisfied and somewhat used, as if the focus is solely on your pleasure rather than mutual enjoyment.

I'm sorry if this comes across as blunt, but I believe it's important to address these concerns. I wanted to propose a potential solution: could we agree to an arrangement where we both have the opportunity to climax? It's essential for me to feel that our encounters are balanced and mutually fulfilling. If this isn't something we can agree upon, I regret to say that I won't be able to continue seeing you under the same terms.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from and that we can find a resolution that works for both of us. If we do continue, I would like to establish clear boundaries, making it strictly therapeutic moving forward.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 
 

What do you guys think?

Not sure without knowing Louis. I think it is direct but has a very passive undertone. 
 

Send this to him and I bet nothing changes and you’re still taking his load at the end of the session. 
 

 I am being blunt but that is how I see this playing out. 

Edited June 13, 2023 by Michael PhD

[Jamie21]

It sounds like he’s using you to explore his own sexuality. I agree with those who said he’s getting off on the dom sub thing. I’ll bet that if he hasn’t allowed you release yet then it’s unlikely to happen and if by chance it does then he won’t want to see you again because the ‘spell’ has been broken. 
I personally wouldn’t send the message to him, because it’s easy to misinterpret intentions from a message. I’d tell him next time you see him, before he starts, that given you won’t get a release you’d rather not have the sensual build up and just enjoy the therapeutic massage. See what happens after that. 
I like to give my clients a great massage but also always a release too (if they want it…most do). I think it’s a fetish if someone enjoys the build up but doesn’t want the climax, it’s perfectly fine if that’s specifically what they want but it’s very unusual. 

[+ sniper]

I would not put anything in writing frankly.  Either say something like for 50 bucks more can I cum too or tell him after a session that it's too frustrating not to get to cum yourself and you won't be coming back.

[pubic_assistance]

He's cuckolding you.

As part of this fetish he has established that ONLY "masculine" men are WORTHY of ejaculation. He uses men for his pleasure and denies homosexuals the pleasure because they are inferior . This makes a delineation between himself and the homosexual. To make it clear he's NOT a homosexual.

By offering you an ejaculation he would also need to admit his homosexuality.

Tread lightly. Sounds like an emotional powder keg that could get angry. I've seen this before in deeply closeted men who dabble in same sex encounters but have no ability to acknowledge their sexuality as anything other than straight.

 

[maninsoma]

Am I the only forum member who thinks this arrangement sounds pretty good?!

$150 for a 2-hour good therapeutic massage?  Sounds like a good rate to me since most guys where I live want more than that for one hour.

The sensual elements involve him rimming you and letting you suck him off?  As someone who loves sucking cock, I'd be very happy to have a masseur who has legit massage skills who's also hot let me blow him as part of the massage.

Maybe I'd be a tiny bit disappointed about not cumming during the session, but I'd probably just get off as soon as I got home while looking at his photos and remembering the taste of his cum.

I am not a "sub" in terms of wanting to be dominated, but I do enjoy making a guy cum as much as I enjoy having an orgasm myself.  And I love, love, love looking up at a hot guy who has his dick in my mouth.