Female vs male escorting

[Markmark]

This article got a lot of attention recently on a news aggregator I monitor: https://knowingless.com/2021/10/19/becoming-a-whorelord-the-overly-analytical-guide-to-escorting/. I’m curious if it resonates with ya’ll, what stood out to you, and why you think there are differences in the female and male markets for providers. Some things that stood out to me:

• Obviously the $1,200 hourly rate was pretty surprising to me. As far as I know a male provider charging anywhere near that is exceedingly rare—the most I’ve seen personally is 500. Why can’t/don’t ya’ll charge those rates?
• Many female providers with their own personal website. I’ve only seen that once or twice for male providers.
• Extremely elaborate screening, requiring multiple references and employment verification etc. The most I’ve ever been asked for is a selfie.
• The fact that you can get an license to provide services in San Francisco. Has anyone looked into that or done it themselves?
• A shockingly high reported rate of sexual assault, 41%. I have no words.

[BuffaloKyle]

I have a couple thoughts on some of your queries:

I honestly didn't know female escorts charged that much either. I'm guessing with all the screening that at least this provider did it takes some time and effort right off the bat to the point where I don't think she probably saw more than two or three clients a week. Also there's a much bigger pool of potential clients. A lot more heterosexual men than gay/bi men. So I'm sure she can charge more and still get a client.  Also with the screening it's a hell of a lot more dangerous for a woman to invite a man over or go somewhere to meet a guy she's never met before than a guy with another guy. That explains the sexual assault number as well.

Edited October 20, 2021 by BuffaloKyle

[+ Jamie21]

2 hours ago, Markmark said:

• Obviously the $1,200 hourly rate was pretty surprising to me. As far as I know a male provider charging anywhere near that is exceedingly rare—the most I’ve seen personally is 500. Why can’t/don’t ya’ll charge those rates?
• Many female providers with their own personal website. I’ve only seen that once or twice for male providers.
• Extremely elaborate screening, requiring multiple references and employment verification etc. The most I’ve ever been asked for is a selfie.
• The fact that you can get an license to provide services in San Francisco. Has anyone looked into that or done it themselves?
• A shockingly high reported rate of sexual assault, 41%. I have no words.

The good ones can charge high rates because the addressable market is large and there are relatively few good escorts. Therefore that’s what the market will take. There’s a lot more good male escorts and a smaller addressable market. I’m bi, in theory my market is everyone but I have very few female clients- they just don’t hire at the rate guys do. So I’m restricted to gay guys mainly.

Having a website isn’t so unusual. I’ve one, it’s good to direct clients who have questions to it. It saves advertising. 

The screening is sensible. It reduces the likelihood of sexual assault. That stat of 41% is appalling. I only ever had one client I felt threatened by. I think if I’d been female he’d have been worse. I’ve done martial arts and know how to defend myself but I still felt threatened. It wasn’t a good session. If that happened regularly I’d definitely not do the work. I don’t blame the females for having thorough screening. 

[Markmark]

Aha, I didn’t consider the supply/demand differences, that makes sense. Thanks for your perspectives!

[rn901]

I've had very few female clients, maybe 1

On 10/20/2021 at 1:46 AM, Jamie21 said:

The good ones can charge high rates because the addressable market is large and there are relatively few good escorts. Therefore that’s what the market will take. There’s a lot more good male escorts and a smaller addressable market. I’m bi, in theory my market is everyone but I have very few female clients- they just don’t hire at the rate guys do. So I’m restricted to gay guys mainly.

Having a website isn’t so unusual. I’ve one, it’s good to direct clients who have questions to it. It saves advertising. 

The screening is sensible. It reduces the likelihood of sexual assault. That stat of 41% is appalling. I only ever had one client I felt threatened by. I think if I’d been female he’d have been worse. I’ve done martial arts and know how to defend myself but I still felt threatened. It wasn’t a good session. If that happened regularly I’d definitely not do the work. I don’t blame the females for having thorough screening. 

I've had very few female clients, them making up less than 1% of my total clients my ten years of doing this. And half of those are straight/bi couples wanting to hire a third. Whenever I get one inquiring, it's always a bit of a surprise. So yeah probably over 99% of the clients of male escorts are straight/bi men. You're right female escorts have a much larger market with less competition. They're also taking a bigger risk than male escorts because they're targeted by law enforcement more and as a woman they are more at risk of being subjected to violence than a male escort (as that stat indicates). So you're right- more clientele, bigger risks, less saturated labor market means substantially higher pay. Good for the ones who can pull it off. I would imagine it would be several times more difficult being a woman, and the job is hard enough for a man. They deserve such high compensation.  

Edited October 24, 2021 by rn901

[+ Jamie21]

Yes agree the job is very hard. I love doing it but it’s extremely demanding on your body and mind. You need to be very strong, physically and mentally to be successful at it. I’ve been doing the work 5 years now and had my share of challenges. The good parts (the money, flexibility, interesting people, travel) do outweigh the bad (the difficult clients, the uncertainty, the toll it takes on your body) and I think the difficult parts must be even worse for female sex workers. When I work with a female (which happens occasionally) I’m always in awe at how they work. They always charge more than me too! 

[+ Pensant]

Re the screening: a woman aesthetician I used to see had been a Madame in an earlier life. I was amazed at the dossiers she had on hundreds of johns! I can’t believe men handed over that information. I’d just jack off and get rid of that urge in ten minutes.

[Constantine]

Asking for employment verification is kind of ridiculous. I don't think I have to elaborate on the concerns that arise re the preservation of anonymity.  

[+ sniper]

The late Scott Anthony once said to me, "If I had a pair of tits, I'd rule the fucking world!"

[+ Jamie21]

If I was a female provider I’d definitely get as much background information as I could. It’s challenging for female providers given the risks they take. If clients don’t want to provide the required information then they’d be free to go elsewhere. 

[+ Lucky]

I knew a Wall Street guy when I lived in New York. He had so much money that he would hire two or three women to spend the weekend with him. He said he didn't have sex with them because he was so stoned on cocaine. They were just company. Oh, he paid them each $25k for the weekend. Top that, gay escorts! 😏

[Shawn Monroe]

Why would we try to top that 

what kind of weird competition is this

56 minutes ago, Lucky said:

I knew a Wall Street guy when I lived in New York. He had so much money that he would hire two or three women to spend the weekend with him. He said he didn't have sex with them because he was so stoned on cocaine. They were just company. Oh, he paid them each $25k for the weekend. Top that, gay escorts! 😏

 

[+ Jamie21]

I’d need to get paid much more than $25k for the horror of spending the weekend with an entitled guy stoned out of his mind on cocaine. How awful.  No thanks. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 10/29/2021 at 9:45 AM, Pensant said:

I was amazed at the dossiers she had on hundreds of johns!

Smart woman. I should have kept notes on the older gay men who got me when I was a twink. She has the kind of gray eminence power I can only dream of.

[TallMuscl37]

On 10/19/2021 at 10:38 PM, Markmark said:

 

• Many female providers with their own personal website. I’ve only seen that once or twice for male providers.
• Extremely elaborate screening, requiring multiple references and employment verification etc. The most I’ve ever been asked for is a selfie.

I can agree with the personal website thing, (having one myself obviously) but idk about the employment into part. A deposit and name should be ample enough. That’s like a hotel asking for employment info. I’m staying for a night, not a year lol. 
 

There are a handful of guys, more than 2 who have their own website. I think if it’s less common is because many only view it as a side hustle thing and rely on just the main sites.

[acks0104]

This was well over a decade ago, but a former friend was a female escort for a few years and it was very different than what men go through.

It's a very different process and required vetting by either recommendations from other providers or providing of identification. She made 6 figures doing it, starting off at 300/hr and then I believe went up to 500 or 600, and apparently that wasn't usual for women.

There are a LOT more risks for women though as some guys can get rude, aggressive, and even potentially violent, hence the vetting. Also no in calls for first time hires, ever.