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Were you in a college fraternity?


Antonio1981

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1 hour ago, azdr0710 said:

back in the early 80s when blow-dried hair was a thing, Sig Ep (Sigma Phi Epsilon) was nicknamed Sigma Phi Hair Salon by all the other fraternities on my campus.....of course, each house had a rep for having certain types and, obviously, Sig Ep was known for well-coiffed, preppy, good-looking, WASPy guys....(no, I wasn't Sig Ep!)

and we always reminded our rushees/pledges that it's a fraternity, not a frat, because would you call your country a c**t??!!.....

We had the same reminders about not calling our fraternity a frat…. Everytime I hear that word in public, it makes me cringe a bit. I had to teach that to my sister…and tell all her Alpha Phi sisters not to use the word frat. 

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Unfortunately, those stereotypes were damaging. One of my brothers, a very popular leader both as an active and alumnus, came out later in life—mid-30s—just as he was hitting his stride. Acceptance was very important to him. I thought the brotherhood was supportive, but soon thereafter he died by suicide. It was devastating.

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10 hours ago, Shoedog112 said:

Each house had sort of a reputation.

Exactly. Need to find your "tribe". 

I was a Lambda Chi. 

No hazing / great parties / laid back mix of guys . Everything from pot heads to Army ROTC. Even though we were officially a "Christian" organization 1/4 of the guys were Jewish.

The consistent quality was that everyone had everyone's back 100%. The rituals leading up to membership assured that only the most dedicated personalities made it into the house as Brothers.

I really enjoyed having such close friends from so many different backgrounds and viewpoints 

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I was; lived in the house for 3 years.  Glad I did it; still some close friends (although generally still regularly closer to friends from high school).  My father's best lifelong friends were his fraternity brothers, which is what lead me to join.

We were not the jock house, but we were the 'cocaine connection' for our Greek system for sure.  We were a 'mixed' house, e.g., 50% wasp, 50% Jewish.  Most of the guys were normal-looking and subdued, but lots of under-the-radar wealthy guys.  Went to some amazing parties at their parents' estates.

Our hazing was funny, rather than harsh, although there was a lot of calisthenics (and drinking of VERY cheap beer; I still can't stomach Meister Brau or Mickey's Big Mouth).

There was a semi-closeted, very small gay contingent; they were more 'tolerated' rather than celebrated, but as I neglected to say above, it was the mid to late 80's.  The only thing close to guy/guy action I witness personally was a three-way with a very attractive woman, and I did not participate and was present for less than a minute (although invited to join in LOL).  One of our brothers was the first person from our school to die in the AIDS epidemic - or at least that was acknowledged he died of AIDS complications.  I never connected with anyone in the house in a physically intimate manner.

One brother of mine is now living with me off-and-on.  His wife keeps kicking him out of the house.  I was in their wedding and know her, and it's 80% on her IMHO.  He's straight and we are not physically intimate (for those inclined to speculate LOL).  

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On 1/5/2024 at 3:24 PM, borgerback said:

I was; lived in the house for 3 years.  Glad I did it; still some close friends (although generally still regularly closer to friends from high school).  My father's best lifelong friends were his fraternity brothers, which is what lead me to join.

We were not the jock house, but we were the 'cocaine connection' for our Greek system for sure.  We were a 'mixed' house, e.g., 50% wasp, 50% Jewish.  Most of the guys were normal-looking and subdued, but lots of under-the-radar wealthy guys.  Went to some amazing parties at their parents' estates.

Our hazing was funny, rather than harsh, although there was a lot of calisthenics (and drinking of VERY cheap beer; I still can't stomach Meister Brau or Mickey's Big Mouth).

There was a semi-closeted, very small gay contingent; they were more 'tolerated' rather than celebrated, but as I neglected to say above, it was the mid to late 80's.  The only thing close to guy/guy action I witness personally was a three-way with a very attractive woman, and I did not participate and was present for less than a minute (although invited to join in LOL).  One of our brothers was the first person from our school to die in the AIDS epidemic - or at least that was acknowledged he died of AIDS complications.  I never connected with anyone in the house in a physically intimate manner.

One brother of mine is now living with me off-and-on.  His wife keeps kicking him out of the house.  I was in their wedding and know her, and it's 80% on her IMHO.  He's straight and we are not physically intimate (for those inclined to speculate LOL).  
 

Great to hear about your experience. The way you described your house sounds like the reputation of ZBT at my school. 🤣.  How did you handle 3 years living in? I could barely handle one year but was happy to find some roommates who were also ready to move out of the Fraternity house with me.  

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11 hours ago, Shoedog112 said:

Great to hear about your experience. The way you described your house sounds like the reputation of ZBT at my school. 🤣.  How did you handle 3 years living in? I could barely handle one year but was happy to find some roommates who were also ready to move out of the Fraternity house with me.  

Well, I remember reading an article in grad school and doing a forehead palm-slap with the realization I was way beyond the technical definition of an alcoholic for two of those three years (I'd be walking to the chapter room to study and the pledges would call down to me "Hey XXXX, Wild Turkey Shots!" and the studying would go right out the window.  My senior year I had to get serious and got to live in the 'nice' apartment building near campus; I was ready for the break from 40 roommates to 4.

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I get that; a lot of guys moved out senior year. For me, I loved it; I lived in all three years. So much going on. And we had our own cook and meal plan. I would have signed up for a fifth year but my dad put his foot down lol.

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I really didn’t enjoy my time in Kappa Sig. There was bad chemistry among the brothers, as well as cliques. At my school, KS wasn’t considered an elite house. I really wish I had never joined in retrospect. My senior year after I resigned was by far the best time of my college years.

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I belonged to a fraternity at McGill in Montreal that was part of a chain of fraternities in Canada and the US, Zeta Psi. It was considered an elite fraternity. I joined in freshman year and only remained active two years. It was incompatible with my studies in the toughest faculty (engineering/architecture) I was enrolled in. I did much better in completing my studies after dropping out. This was all in the 1960’s or prehistoric times now. 

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On 1/13/2024 at 8:22 AM, Pensant said:

I really didn’t enjoy my time in Kappa Sig. There was bad chemistry among the brothers, as well as cliques. At my school, KS wasn’t considered an elite house. I really wish I had never joined in retrospect. My senior year after I resigned was by far the best time of my college years.

What school did you attend?

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  • 3 weeks later...
1 hour ago, dutchal said:

Some Catholic schools allow fraternities and some don't.

Decades ago, being Catholic was similar to being a Mormon nowadays, and there was no need for a fraternity when you were already in a group. 

I can't help thinking of fraternities and the culture of rape in our colleges.

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11 hours ago, Rudynate said:

I went to college in the 70s  - when the popularity of fraternities was at a low point.  They might have existed at my  school, but I wasn't aware of them.

Many local chapters of fraternities closed at McGill during that period. Including mine and they sold off the house. It would be worth millions today. 

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