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Would you have unprotected sex with someone who has multiple partners and claims to be on undetectable status,?


socurious
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  • socurious changed the title to Would you have unprotected sex with someone who has multiple partners and claims to be on undetectable status,?

Undetectable for… what? 
Remember, PreP is only effective for exposure to HIV.
 

Many other transmissible bugs are out there, as you should have heard by now.

But, good news! There’s a lot of free STI testing available in NYC area!!! Find their social media links and ask them about your risks, and if you should get tested now.

Please be careful. One might get the impression you don’t know as much as a sexually active adult should know before doing anything with a partner. 
 

 

 

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Guest Justin7402

My ex was positive and undetectable, I was on prep and had unprotected sex with him regularly for years, I'm still negative and wasn't really overly worried.

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First, I think that you need to completely disregard their claims for your risk assessment. Whether they claim to be HIV Negative, Pos/Undetectable, or a virgin, you should assume, for the purposes of your decision making process, that they're HIV+ with a high viral load. Horny people lie. Or, they are unaware that they're infected.

So, your actions should be based on the assumption that everyone you have sex with is HIV+ and act accordingly. PrEP has proven to be very effective, but the risk is not zero. Condoms further reduce that risk, but they're imperfect, too. If your risk tolerance is truly zero, you shouldn't have sex with anyone.

 

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1 hour ago, corndog said:

First, I think that you need to completely disregard their claims for your risk assessment. Whether they claim to be HIV Negative, Pos/Undetectable, or a virgin, you should assume, for the purposes of your decision making process, that they're HIV+ with a high viral load. Horny people lie. Or, they are unaware that they're infected.

So, your actions should be based on the assumption that everyone you have sex with is HIV+ and act accordingly. PrEP has proven to be very effective, but the risk is not zero. Condoms further reduce that risk, but they're imperfect, too. If your risk tolerance is truly zero, you shouldn't have sex with anyone.

 

Actually you shouldn't get out of bed in the morning if your risk tolerances are zero.

A more practical approach if you want to have sex with someone you have never met before, best to trust but verify. If they claim to be neg, ask to see their last test result. If pos undetectable, ask to see their last test result. It's really that simple. 

Responsible people who engage in sex with multiple partners need to be upfront and be prepared to back up their claims. It's the same with COVID. 

 

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4 hours ago, Luv2play said:

Actually you shouldn't get out of bed in the morning if your risk tolerances are zero.

A more practical approach if you want to have sex with someone you have never met before, best to trust but verify. If they claim to be neg, ask to see their last test result. If pos undetectable, ask to see their last test result. It's really that simple. 

Responsible people who engage in sex with multiple partners need to be upfront and be prepared to back up their claims. It's the same with COVID. 

 

Just to say it, this is only really practical if you plan your encounters in advance and have sex with people you both know (so that trust can play a role) and who are comfortable with sharing medical documents (so that you don't creep them out). Also, as I'm sure you know, people can and often do catch STDs either before they were detectable by their latest test or after their latest test.

 

So I think that @corndog's post is on point not just about HIV but all other STDs, even if your sexual partner shows you test results.

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What a person claims is irrelevant. People lie. 

It’s best not to make any sexual decisions based on what someone else tells you. 
 

Either confirm that you are:

1.) a user of condoms, who is not on PrEP

2.) a user of condoms, who IS on PrEP

3.) a non-user of condoms, who IS on PrEP, or

4.) a non-user of condoms who is NOT on PrEP.

And then roll with what you want to do, on your  terms. 

 

 

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Well, undetectable when he had his last test (assuming he's telling you the truth) doesn't mean undetectable now, but the odds of getting HIV if he's undetectable and you're on PrEP are incredibly low and not worth worrying about. Having said that, if this person is not your monogamous partner, there are all kinds of other things you can get from unprotected sex including syphilis and anorectal cancer, so I think it's foolish to have anal sex with someone's who's not your long-term partner unless you use a condom. Also a good idea for those eligible to get an HPV vaccine (up to age 45 if you're sexually active). 

Edited by Unicorn
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On 7/24/2021 at 4:58 PM, Luv2play said:

Responsible people who engage in sex with multiple partners need to be upfront and be prepared to back up their claims. It's the same with COVID. 

 

I would have unprotected sex with someone who claims they don't have Covid, and I wouldn't ask them to take a test to prove it to me first.

But that is my personal risk tolerance.

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