Do you keep dealing with regular or once met clients if they flake when scheduling subsequent sessions?

[RandyVue]

Easier said than done. I be wanting them to reimburse for the expected earnings and lost time. It’s like, how would they feel if they were expecting to do a job for someone, and they fucked them off.

 

Every appointment that is flaked, is lost earnings that I may or may not recoup to pay important things I may have. And in the case of this week, it’s now costing me extra, that I don’t even have, on top of the lost sessions flaked on.

 

So now I’m in double trouble.

 

Dude, it really is that simple. I know because I used to do it myself. If they flake a second time, you just don't book them again. Simple. That's how you will weed out the flakes. But flakes are inevitable. Unortunately, its a part of that business. If people flaking gets to you that badly, then at a certain point you need to seriously consider if you want to continue in that business. It may not be worth it to continue if it gets to you and makes you unhappy or perpetually frustrated.

Edited September 16, 2020 by RandyVue

[xyz48B]

Perhaps you build the cancellation fee into your deposit? And if they show up you don’t expect them to pay as much.

 

Your idea about a cancellation fee, while normal under the circumstances for other sorts of business, is very difficult to enforce in the escorting world. Particularly given how easy it is to “flake.” You like deposits, just build the cancellation fee into the deposit, and then don’t charge as much per hour.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Dude, it really is that simple. I know because I used to do it myself. If they flake a second time, you just don't book them again. Simple. That's how you will weed out the flakes. But flakes are inevitable. Unortunately, its a part of that business. If people flaking gets to you that badly, then at a certain point you need to seriously consider if you want to continue in that business. It may not be worth it to continue if it gets to you and makes you unhappy or perpetually frustrated.

 

What that’s my prerogative whether I decide to stay or go. I know what you’re saying, but it doesn’t always take 2 chances to inconvenience someone. That’s what I’m trying to get across. You did it how you wanted to do it, and that’s great..but your way may not work for everybody. Why give 2 chances to get stood up? I rather it be a one and done deal. And it’s also too tempting to give chances after they show after the first flake event, but then have it happen again down the line.

 

 

Perhaps you build the cancellation fee into your deposit? And if they show up you don’t expect them to pay as much.

 

Your idea about a cancellation fee, while normal under the circumstances for other sorts of business, is very difficult to enforce in the escorting world. Particularly given how easy it is to “flake.” You like deposits, just build the cancellation fee into the deposit, and then don’t charge as much per hour.

 

Thing is, that assumes they actually get around to doing the deposit. Which doesn’t always happen. Therefore it’s not always a case of building cancel fee into the deposit. A deposit can be $50. A cancel fee can be half the session. Some guys I’ve known asked the whole thing.

[xyz48B]

So don’t tell me, that it’s that simple. It’s not. I know that for a fact.

What are you looking for here? If it’s sympathy, I think you’ve gotten that. If it’s solutions, you don’t seem to like any of the answers that are given. Here someone who’s done has given feedback and you give it right back as basically useless. What are you looking for here?

[+ E.T.Bass]

What terrible luck 2 guys in a row flaked on you!

Hopefully, you'll see more positive transactions soon.

In the meantime, it makes sense you are asking what changes you might make for more effective negotiation and how to mitigate the financial damage if more flakes arise.

The deposit idea makes sense. I hope you have better results soon.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

What are you looking for here? If it’s sympathy, I think you’ve gotten that. If it’s solutions, you don’t seem to like any of the answers that are given. Here someone who’s done has given feedback and you give it right back as basically useless. What are you looking for here?

 

I told him I liked his solution. But what rubbed me wrong is when he made a personal statement about me being in the business and constantly frustrated. That’s what offended me. Now the message is changed. You can state a point, I can state a point, we all can. But no need to start making personal decisions FOR me, as if I’m the weakest link.

 

Flakes do happen BUT. What are we going to do about it? Taking a passive role and not seeing the person again may work to keep things cordial, but real respect for the business won’t be earned until we actually show we need reimbursement for our time. Otherwise all they’re going to go do is go do it to someone else.

 

I can’t wait until escorting becomes an Uber app. It’s already like that, except people book and request us and we don’t get paid. Just wait until the 2nd you click our profile and get our number, you get charged $100. Lord have mercy, BRING IT!

[xyz48B]

The other day I had a escort text me out of the blue how I was doing? He chatted with me for quite some time before he asked me when I wanted to meet up. I told him I’m not in a position right now to do any hiring. He kept texting me and giving me all kinds of sob story. Then I found out he’s having financial issues. He’s also stopped texting me now too. Seems reliable...

[Jarrod_Uncut]

What terrible luck 2 guys in a row flaked on you!

Hopefully, you'll see more positive transactions soon.

In the meantime, it makes sense you are asking what changes you might make for more effective negotiation and how to mitigate the financial damage if more flakes arise.

The deposit idea makes sense. I hope you have better results soon.

 

thanks. Tell me about it. I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. And it started out as 2, but there’s just been general speckles of it throughout the month.

 

It’s just the reality of living in bad market. Just the whole Bible Belt region is just not good. The ones out here will hire someone 1 time, and never get to build any regulars. @Shawn Monroe was so right about Kansas City, I should have to the cue and left while I was ahead...

 

 

The other day I had a escort text me out of the blue how I was doing? He chatted with me for quite some time before he asked me when I wanted to meet up. I told him I’m not in a position right now to do any hiring. He kept texting me and giving me all kinds of sob story. Then I found out he’s having financial issues. He’s also stopped texting me now too. Seems reliable...

 

well even though it sounded like he was “just hitting you up for money”, fact is once you said you’re not hiring, and you weren’t helping...what more can he say?

[xyz48B]

well even though it sounded like he was “just hitting you up for money”, fact is once you said you’re not hiring, and you weren’t helping...what more can he say?

You really don’t see it, do you?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

You really don’t see it, do you?

 

No, I don’t. Nor do I need to. What’s the point you’re trying to make here?

 

In other news, one of the flakes of the week actually gave me a phone call, and we had a heart to heart as to why I had blacklisted him and sent a cancellation fee request. After some understanding, it appeared he didn’t think he made an appointment (I’ve discussed this before in the past), yet his messages said something completely different. I had to let him know: you said this, but your texts said that. How am I supposed to decipher between what you said, and what you meant? And...without you responding to it for the whole day.

 

So we kissed and made up, and he sent me a $50 apple voucher. Normally it would have been $100, but considering he was a good client, I let it slide. I wish more people would be like that. Sometimes misunderstanding happen, but sometimes you just got to talk it out.

 

I know most clients come to us to avoid the idea of talking and relationships and all that complicated stuff that makes sex become “work”, but there’s no free passes. You can’t just do whatever the fuck you want, just because you don’t feel you have to answer to anyone. If you say, “lets meet tomorrow”, you made an appointment. It doesn’t matter if it’s not: “let’s meet at 9 pm Tuesday at 6969 Wood street.” People try to be overly technical with things.

[xyz48B]

No, I don’t. Nor do I need to. What’s the point you’re trying to make here?

I’m not wasting my time. You’ve made up your mind you don’t need (want) to understand.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I’m just still trying to figure out what was the point of the story you previously gave me

[jeezifonly]

I’m just still trying to figure out what was the point of the story you previously gave me

 

I think you might benefit from a little volunteer time. A local food bank, gay and lesbian center, senior center. Find one. Go there.

Then turn off your phone. Spend some time to do simple things as you think about others. Your help will be welcomed and you might even make a new friend or two, ones who don’t want to use you for anything other than reaching something on a top shelf.

See you back here in two weeks!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I think you might benefit from a little volunteer time. A local food bank, gay and lesbian center, senior center. Find one. Go there.

Then turn off your phone. Spend some time to do simple things as you think about others. Your help will be welcomed and you might even make a new friend or two, ones who don’t want to use you for anything other than reaching something on a top shelf.

See you back here in two weeks!

 

Okay, I’ll do that long as you pay me for the 2 weeks of lost earnings while my phone is off. Talk is cheap, and when did you gain moderator ??‍⚖️ status?

[xyz48B]

I’m just still trying to figure out what was the point of the story you previously gave me

Jarrod…

1. You’ve made it clear you really don’t want an explanation by saying “nor do I need to“ when I said you don’t understand it.

2. If you cannot see the simplicity and transparency of the story without an explanation, no explanation is going to help you understand it. It’s like trying to explain that water is wet to somebody.

[xyz48B]

Okay, I’ll do that long as you pay me for the 2 weeks of lost earnings while my phone is off. Talk is cheap, and when did you gain moderator ??‍⚖️ status?

This response is emblematic of why you cannot understand. You’re so caught up in your own needs, desires, and concerns that you’re unable to see anything beyond yourself. Your ego is in the way. Until you can put your ego aside, sacrifice yourself a bit, as was laid out in the suggestion (which I think is a good suggestion, although not one I may have made, still a good one) you will be unable to understand.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

This response is emblematic of why you cannot understand. You’re so caught up in your own needs, desires, and concerns that you’re unable to see anything beyond yourself. Your ego is in the way. Until you can put your ego aside, sacrifice yourself a bit, as was laid out in the suggestion (which I think is a good suggestion, although not one I may have made, still a good one) you will be unable to understand.

 

There’s

Nothing

I

Need

You

To

Help

Me

Understand

 

PERIOD. The only one who’s acting out of ego is you, because you can’t even be bothered to explain what your referencing of another escort contacting you, who is going thru something financially: has to do with the topic I’m discussing.

 

The other day I had a escort text me out of the blue how I was doing? He chatted with me for quite some time before he asked me when I wanted to meet up. I told him I’m not in a position right now to do any hiring. He kept texting me and giving me all kinds of sob story. Then I found out he’s having financial issues. He’s also stopped texting me now too. Seems reliable...

 

And? If you were trying to turn the tables and say: “this escort wasted my time by seeming to be interested in me by having conversation, but was only interested in getting paid for services, therefore he wasted my time”...is nonsense. That’s the original dynamic of your arrangement. If you couldn’t afford it, oh well. You said it. He had a choice to make a decision from there. I don’t even know why you’d bring that up to begin with, that’s just mere gossip to me.

 

If you think my issue is ego, then your issue is insecurity. If you think this is ego, I’m flattered because most of my ego is gone dealing with some of the bullshit I’ve dealt with this week. I have set aside my ego more than enough times to take care of my clients. For you to say that, disregards the mere fact being an escort...and how much we do that sacrifices our ego at many times. You seem like someone who is condescending and/or patronizing towards escorts. And that’s just the wrong attitude to have. And I’m definitely not the ☝? for it.

 

Anyhow, I’m about done. I cannot sit here and argue with someone who’s avatar is of a silly smiley face emoji. Depart from thee ??

 

And FYI, my response is emblematic of nothing but telling “someone” aka @jeezifonly: mind his business, don’t tell me what to do, and don’t make suggestions that you don’t have the clout to insure. To hell with him telling me I have no use but to grab something off a shelf and turn my phone off for 2 weeks when I have 2 cars, 2 phones, and 4 properties that I must maintain. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and I refuse to be belittled on this forum by you or him. This is exactly why BLM ✊? is such a topic, because people like you and him don’t think we have anything “Better” to do with our lives.

Edited September 18, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

As an addition to this thread: I’ve decided to change the topic a little bit and include: I’ve had 2 more clients this week, formerly good regulars...fail to keep their plans when arranging a visit. One of such, I read thru my RentMasseur account and he twice emailed me last month and this month Along the lines of, “ARE YOU COMING TO TOWN? I’M SO ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU AGAIN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

 

This week I FINALLY went ahead and came to town, contacted him prior...he was SOOOOOO excited, but for the 2nd time has pulled the “I’m so worried about COVID, I’ll have to pass” along with having a misunderstanding about how sex work; works, and now we’re done. I wasn’t worried because I took care of one of my other regulars good, and he’s only 28 years old and SHOWED UP no hassle, like he’s supposed to. Without the drama some of these “senior” hirers can’t seem to stop ??‍♂️ But still...

 

This stuff is just becoming tediously petty. I literally feel like I’m babysitting 2 year olds. Yet these guys are nearly twice my age in some cases. Do men experience a 2nd terrible two’s later in life?

 

I ended up canceling all travels right now, and just not going to bother. I’m just tired of putting in the effort, and getting my hopes up for idiots who don’t want to fucking take anything seriously. They text me one thing completely confident of an appointment, but then in their minds don’t believe they actually booked any time with me.

 

I’m just about ready to retire until next year...

[xyz48B]

I’m just about ready to retire until next year...

Most reasonable thing you’ve said. ??

[MikeBiDude]

What people say when they don’t look in the mirror.

No therapist needed. I’ve already surveyed and analyzed how these things work. A therapist would only sit and listen, and tell me how I can reframe my thoughts

There’s

Nothing

I

Need

You

To

Help

Me

Understand

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Update: After talking to a few people yesterday and meditating and getting in touch with myself, today i woke up feeling better, and going to try to keep it all in perspective.

 

The past few hours, I've just been working on smiling, and walking away if I feel a person isn't being consistent.

 

And my apologies to @jeezifonly . i know you only want the best for me. I recently signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter this weekend. Hopefully my asthma doesn't flare up in the cat section, but i guess that's what masks are for ? ?

[thedanNYC]

Am I in the twilight zone? You're three pages deep into a thread about clients being inconsiderate towards you...and at the same time you post this in a different thread:

 

But don’t belittle, criticize, or shame those who wish to live their lives as chosen. A flu vaccine is nothing more than exposing yourself (Intravenously) to a (dead) virus. So if someone is willing or capable to get the actual virus and deal with (perhaps) mild symptoms (considering not everyone will be equally affected)....is that in itself not a vaccine? We’ve already heard most people with Covid 19 are asymptotic. So to HELL does it matter if the old man/lady down the street who is already dying anyway of something else, gets infected?

[Smurof]

Ignoring the 2 page catfight, I say give anyone a second chance to book. Two flakes and you're out, regardless of whether I know them or not.

 

I've had a provider flake on me twice in a row after 1 meet, so disrespect is real and can work both ways, unfortunately.

[+ IronMaus]

If you've met before, and they flake without response, I make note of it.

If they want to hire again I politely ask them to pay in full before we meet.

If they flake but give me notice and can't reschedule right away, I make note of it so I can plan around the chance of a 2nd flaking.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Am I in the twilight zone? You're three pages deep into a thread about clients being inconsiderate towards you...and at the same time you post this in a different thread:

 

Yes, you are in the twilight zone. Because I’ve already addressed the subject, and you’re bringing it up in a completely unrelated thread. Goodbye ??

 

Ignoring the 2 page catfight, I say give anyone a second chance to book. Two flakes and you're out, regardless of whether I know them or not.

 

I've had a provider flake on me twice in a row after 1 meet, so disrespect is real and can work both ways, unfortunately.

 

Thanks.

 

honestly, I’ve come to an epiphany: After a week of back to back meditational sex (often included sex 2-3 times a day with different or the same guys), I’ve come to realize (We) men are just simple creatures. I’ve come to realize many men can’t think or plan much further beyond what their dick or ass tells them to do. I find myself feeling that way sometimes, and its just biological factors at play. I’ve finally come to understand and am now going to no longer be bothered by these things.

 

I’m still going to go about deposits before making any big moves or plans with guys, but I’ve decided to no longer get upset with any who just happen to want to fantasize about sex and not actually do it. I also decided that a couple of regulars who have flaked on me recently, I don’t want to give them second chances...not because they flake, but because they weren’t seeing me often enough anyway.

 

Some of these guys get surprised when I burn bridges but it’s like: “you haven’t contacted me in 6 months, then you come around to see about linking up, then flake.” It’s like...no. I’m not some backup, sidekick, HMU when you bored kind of dude. If they can’t be bothered to reach out on atleast a somewhat routine basis, and then flake during the OFF chance they contact me...goodbye. And that’s what I told one guy last week. Don’t contact me again. He’s been giving me the same excuses about his sick parents for the past 2 years.

 

It gets to a point like: if you know you can’t meet, then why the FU ? are you discussing making appointments with me ??‍♂️

Edited September 26, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut