Coworker

[rustyrex]

So there is this guy I work with that has been temporarily assigned to our area from another part of the country. Very cute, confident and straight. I have my suspicions that he may not be totally only because he’s done a few things that give him away. Yesterday someone else told him that I was going to miss him as his assignment will be over next week. He seemed really surprised and gave me this long stare that made me a little uncomfortable but also excited to know that he’s definitely into me. We’ve talked a couple times and he’s even shared some very personal things with me. If this married straight man made a move on me before he leaves I don’t think I could tell him no. I truly admire him and have learned a few things from him that will help me out in life. I think he started noticing that he was being too friendly as well because at times he would avoid me, but I could see him looking at me or smiling at me when no one else noticed. I’m not a home wrecker and I know better than to force myself on anyone I work with but I must admit I like him too. I try not to stare but he notices that I do and is appreciative. Just throwing this out there to the group. Most likely nothing will come of this and he will move on as will I.

[+ Lucky]

Only he can wreck his home.

[marylander1940]

So there is this guy I work with that has been temporarily assigned to our area from another part of the country. Very cute, confident and straight. I have my suspicions that he may not be totally only because he’s done a few things that give him away. Yesterday someone else told him that I was going to miss him as his assignment will be over next week. He seemed really surprised and gave me this long stare that made me a little uncomfortable but also excited to know that he’s definitely into me. We’ve talked a couple times and he’s even shared some very personal things with me. If this married straight man made a move on me before he leaves I don’t think I could tell him no. I truly admire him and have learned a few things from him that will help me out in life. I think he started noticing that he was being too friendly as well because at times he would avoid me, but I could see him looking at me or smiling at me when no one else noticed. I’m not a home wrecker and I know better than to force myself on anyone I work with but I must admit I like him too. I try not to stare but he notices that I do and is appreciative. Just throwing this out there to the group. Most likely nothing will come of this and he will move on as will I.

 

How old is he?

 

Have you tried to see if he's on Grindr?

 

You wouldn't be the first time he cheats therefore he'll be the one eventually doing his own home wrecking.

[+ Just Sayin]

rather than speculate, could you just talk to him about it? something like "I feel there is a connection between us; is it my imagination or do you feel it too?" sometimes there is just some sort of spark between two people; it may not even be sexual; but if you open up to him about it, you can at least create some space to talk about it and explore it

[rustyrex]

How old is he?

 

Have you tried to see if he's on Grindr?

 

You wouldn't be the first time he cheats therefore he'll be the one eventually doing his own home wrecking.

We are the same age...42. I don’t use grindr, don’t even have an account, keeps me out of trouble ?...usually. I think your right, this isn’t his first rodeo nor his last I’m sure.

[+ poolboy48220]

rather than speculate, could you just talk to him about it? something like "I feel there is a connection between us; is it my imagination or do you feel it too?" sometimes there is just some sort of spark between two people; it may not even be sexual; but if you open up to him about it, you can at least create some space to talk about it and explore it

Having just been through our company's annual mandatory harassment training, that phrasing set off a LOT of flags for me. Maybe just suggest a beer after work where the conversation might flow a bit freer?

[marylander1940]

We are the same age...42. I don’t use grindr, don’t even have an account, keeps me out of trouble ?...usually. I think your right, this isn’t his first rodeo nor his last I’m sure.

 

Give it try, cowboy!

[CuriousByNature]

So there is this guy I work with that has been temporarily assigned to our area from another part of the country. Very cute, confident and straight. I have my suspicions that he may not be totally only because he’s done a few things that give him away. Yesterday someone else told him that I was going to miss him as his assignment will be over next week. He seemed really surprised and gave me this long stare that made me a little uncomfortable but also excited to know that he’s definitely into me. We’ve talked a couple times and he’s even shared some very personal things with me. If this married straight man made a move on me before he leaves I don’t think I could tell him no. I truly admire him and have learned a few things from him that will help me out in life. I think he started noticing that he was being too friendly as well because at times he would avoid me, but I could see him looking at me or smiling at me when no one else noticed. I’m not a home wrecker and I know better than to force myself on anyone I work with but I must admit I like him too. I try not to stare but he notices that I do and is appreciative. Just throwing this out there to the group. Most likely nothing will come of this and he will move on as will I.

To me... married = off limits. But I suppose we all have our choices to make.

[rustyrex]

rather than speculate, could you just talk to him about it? something like "I feel there is a connection between us; is it my imagination or do you feel it too?" sometimes there is just some sort of spark between two people; it may not even be sexual; but if you open up to him about it, you can at least create some space to talk about it and explore it

 

I think there is a connection but I've been forward with people before and it's blown up in my face. He's in a position of authority so being forward might cost me more than I'm willing to pay for just a curiosity. I will say this, a couple months ago we stood in the parking lot and chatted for a little while. I kept asking him so many questions and he finally got a point where he said "Is this a personal question?" Which kinda threw me because I thought we were just being friendly. He had told me earlier he's pretty guarded with people he works with and even shared some personal stuff that he asked me not to repeat. I think he was wanting to ask me some personal questions but I told him I was curious about his thinking and why he thinks the way he does.

 

Another manager passed us in the parking lot and said "you gotta be careful with the conversations in the parking lot, before you know it an hour will pass..." and with that the conversation ended.

 

We haven't really talked like that since....but the stares and smiles continue. Sometimes he'll call me out during a meeting just to mess with me.

 

Maybe I'm making more of this than there is....and he's just my grown man crush.

Edited August 21, 2020 by rustyrex

[+ WilliamM]

We are the same age...42. I don’t use grindr, don’t even have an account, keeps me out of trouble ?...usually. I think your right, this isn’t his first rodeo nor his last I’m sure.

 

Ha ha @marylander1940 is a bit over aggressive.

 

Perhaps invite this man who is leaving soon to lunch or dinner as a friend only, but remember it may be up to u to make the first move.

 

If you are comfortable with that, great.

[marylander1940]

Ha ha @marylander1940 is a bit over aggressive.

 

Perhaps invite this man who is leaving soon to lunch or dinner as a friend only, but remember it may be up to u to make the first move.

 

If you are comfortable with that, great.

 

@rustyrex doing nothing that'd be unforgivable.

 

Go for it! if he's on the lookout he might be on Grindr or not.

 

Inviting a coworker to lunch/dinner? What would be the excuse? a date?

 

30 is the new 40 specially for straight/bi men.

Edited August 21, 2020 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

To me... married = off limits. But I suppose we all have our choices to make.

 

Ask all the married forum members we have on here, younger and older... Once I said something similar to what you wrote and I was called out by others because of being closeminded and praising a straight lifestyle of monogamy.

[+ WilliamM]

@rustyrex doing nothing that'd be unforgivable.

 

 

 

He has a job to worry about, as he mentioned.

[Guest]

I don't see how this could end up well, the way the OP wants. Maybe the OP should get grinder so he doesn't have to hit on married men at his workplace, who are in positions of authority, no less. There's a lot at risk, here. Not worth the potential cost. Look elsewhere--escorts would be a wiser choice if you need something physical. And what else could you be wanting from a married man?

[+ WestGuy]

I don't see how this could end up well, the way the OP wants. Maybe the OP should get grinder so he doesn't have to hit on married men at his workplace, who are in positions of authority, no less. There's a lot at risk, here. Not worth the potential cost. Look elsewhere--escorts would be a wiser choice if you need something physical. And what else could you be wanting from a married man?

I totally agree. This has the potential for disaster written all over it. Not worth it in my view!

[rustyrex]

I don't see how this could end up well, the way the OP wants. Maybe the OP should get grinder so he doesn't have to hit on married men at his workplace, who are in positions of authority, no less. There's a lot at risk, here. Not worth the potential cost. Look elsewhere--escorts would be a wiser choice if you need something physical. And what else could you be wanting from a married man?

 

It takes two to tango. He's not innocent, nor is he naive, and knows exactly what he's doing. I'm just putting my experience out there for advice. Thanks for your insight....remember escorts also come at a cost and risk as well...yet we take a risk of being labelled a predator, jail time, and possible STI's for some physical intimacy.

[+ Lucky]

Isn't this guy a grown man who could, if he chose, make his interest known to you? He hasn't. Enough said.

[CuriousByNature]

I think there is a connection but I've been forward with people before and it's blown up in my face. He's in a position of authority so being forward might cost me more than I'm willing to pay for just a curiosity. I will say this, a couple months ago we stood in the parking lot and chatted for a little while. I kept asking him so many questions and he finally got a point where he said "Is this a personal question?" Which kinda threw me because I thought we were just being friendly. He had told me earlier he's pretty guarded with people he works with and even shared some personal stuff that he asked me not to repeat. I think he was wanting to ask me some personal questions but I told him I was curious about his thinking and why he thinks the way he does.

 

Another manager passed us in the parking lot and said "you gotta be careful with the conversations in the parking lot, before you know it an hour will pass..." and with that the conversation ended.

 

We haven't really talked like that since....but the stares and smiles continue. Sometimes he'll call me out during a meeting just to mess with me.

 

Maybe I'm making more of this than there is....

Ask all the married forum members we have on here, younger and older... Once I said something similar to what you wrote and I was called out by others because of being closeminded and praising a straight lifestyle of monogamy.

Everyone has their own comfort level. I could not see myself entering any relationship with someone in a straight or gay marriage. But I also have no right to judge others who don't have an issue with it. Whether the marriage is same-sex or not, I personally would not cross that line. But that's me, and I know I may be in the minority on that subject.

[+ sniper]

He's higher up than you? Probably best to stay away. Also if you are out at work and people are already talking about your crush as it seems they are, you've already been a bit too obvious in the office.

[+ sniper]

This boils down to don't shit where you eat and if coworkers are ALREADY gossiping about it, best to not act on it. If nobody knew but you two I'd say MAYBE give it a go...

[+ sniper]

This is NOT an economy to be losing a job in. YMMV if you're a superstar or something, but I would be extra wary right now of the kind of thing that could cost a job.

[RealAvalon]

To me... married = off limits. But I suppose we all have our choices to make.

I'd need to know if they had an open or closed relationship. Cheating is off limits for me. But if they've got permission, that's a different situation to maybe consider, and still not a go ahead. This being a work situation it'd be a 'no,' married or unmarried.

 

I'm assuming that the OP @rustyrex was talking about sex, and not a distant cross-country relationship with a married man that he met a month ago with his knowledge limited to a work situation.

Edited August 21, 2020 by RealAvalon

[Beancounter]

No brainer! You never mix romance with work colleagues. As many before me have stated....this is a disaster waiting to happen.

[+ Just Sayin]

it sounds like he might be just a tease; in light of your situation, I don't think I'd do anything to encourage him

[Monarchy79]

Only he can wreck his home.

 

 

Said like a true HUSSY...

 

????