How can I remain discreet & allow provider enough info at the same time?

[wishbone2000]

When hiring a new provider, I understand that you don’t want blocked calls. At the same time, it’s difficult to schedule a screening call with you and remain discreet unless I disclose what I’m looking for first. And the only way to do that is with a text, or email, so now there’s a written audit trail, which I try to avoid.

 

I would like to be upfront and detailed with you about what I’m looking for so we’re not wasting each other’s time. I usually can only be this open once we’re face to face, and if we aren’t on the same page, one of us has to just settle then at that point.

 

How do we both accomplish initial contact while we both protect each other’s privacy, and vet each other so we know upfront if we’re on the same page? ?

[Smurof]

Either play contact tag through someone else you know and trust, or suffer.

 

Or, get a burner phone (do they still sell those?)

[Rodrigo Suarez]

https://www.burnerapp.com/

 

the app is on Google Play Store

[Guest]

And the only way to do that is with a text, or email, so now there’s a written audit trail, which I try to avoid.

protonmail

[KrisParr]

“Hushed“ phone app - cheap, been using it for a few years - check it out. $29 for an annual plan is damn cheap - I use it for my, ahem, rentals. If you catch my drift.

[MikeBiDude]

https://www.burnerapp.com/

 

the app is on Google Play Store

I use the burner app on my iPhone. Much to like, almost nothing to complain about (can’t send/receive videos in messages ?) it’s a great app and no extra burner phone hardware to carry.

[bendable2019]

Either play contact tag through someone else you know and trust, or suffer.

 

Or, get a burner phone (do they still sell those?)

 

textnow app - you can have your private number on the same phone

[Guest Calix_K]

Telegram has worked for myself and my clients, but there are others that are similar in their functionality and privacy options. Just depends on what level you're looking for.

[+ DynamicUno]

Has anyone tried google voice recently? I'm not sure if it's still supported. I used to use that occasionally when I needed a phone number that wasn't linked to me personally, though never for hiring. If I recall it would give a screening message to inbound calls asking for them to ID themselves, before connecting through, which might be a bit off putting.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'll echo the use of the app 'Burner.' It's simple and effective.

 

That said, realize that in this world of web, many escorts can easily identify you in ways you never imagined. You leave a digital footprint everywhere and it's become nearly impossible to remain totally anonymous.

 

My advice is, yes, to be careful, but find some guys you can actually trust. Much of escorting requires some initial leap of faith.

 

While I don't see a lot of new faces anymore, I remember when I did... And the guys who worked double-time to conceal and protect ended up being a lot more work, a lot less personable and not really worth the added effort for me.

[marylander1940]

All this burner phones, app, etc. have empowered clients to misbehave. The amount of flakiness has reached levels.

 

I'll echo the use of the app 'Burner.' It's simple and effective.

 

That said, realize that in this world of web, many escorts can easily identify you in ways you never imagined. You leave a digital footprint everywhere and it's become nearly impossible to remain totally anonymous.

 

My advice is, yes, to be careful, but find some guys you can actually trust. Much of escorting requires some initial leap of faith.

 

While I don't see a lot of new faces anymore, I remember when I did... And the guys who worked double-time to conceal and protect ended up being a lot more work, a lot less personable and not really worth the added effort for me.

 

And sometimes not even THAT important to be worried and not even in the closet.

 

Besides someone using a burner number or google voice will raise a red flag to any provider with common sense and will be considered a potential flake till actually showing up!

[MikeBiDude]

I'll echo the use of the app 'Burner.' It's simple and effective.

 

That said, realize that in this world of web, many escorts can easily identify you in ways you never imagined. You leave a digital footprint everywhere and it's become nearly impossible to remain totally anonymous.

 

My advice is, yes, to be careful, but find some guys you can actually trust. Much of escorting requires some initial leap of faith.

 

While I don't see a lot of new faces anymore, I remember when I did... And the guys who worked double-time to conceal and protect ended up being a lot more work, a lot less personable and not really worth the added effort for me.

Rather than try and disguise myself from escorts...the BurnerApp is helpful with non-standard meets like Seeking Arrangements. When things get “Serious” with these guys I like to move off the seeking app, but not divulge my full info yet. BurnerApp provides an airgap and if things go wrong no harm, no foul. A trusted handful have been moved to my real phone#.

 

Also...I use BurnerApp to keep myself from receiving unsolicited pictures on my “real” phone. I use the iphone for business, pass it around family members on occasion, and it surprises me how many times someone from rentmen or seeking or grindr will send me an unsolicited provocative pic that I never asked for!

 

Also...to my knowledge I’ve never received a negative comment or been “red flagged” by a professional companion for using the BurnerApp. They seem to be fine with it, texts first, then voice call to confirm conversations, then let’s go! ?

Edited June 9, 2020 by MikeBiDude

[Studsearcher]

I still use google voice for first time meets and it supports photos now. The only times I’ve had prospects call me out on it were some shady acting guys from Seeking. I rarely talk to providers on the phone though, I usually stick to texting.

 

Granted I don’t hire as often lately, but I’ve never had a pro have a problem with it. I think the rest of your behavior says more than the number you use.

[MikeBiDude]

I think the rest of your behavior says more than the number you use.

This!

[xyz48B]

Pretty sure a lot of escorts also use alternative numbers.

[Pittlookalike]

Guys excuse my ignorance but I’m new to this. How do i find one of these apps mentioned above and set it up so i can communicate with providers with some anonymity? I’m not tech savvy. Thx.

[Guest Calix_K]

telegram.org is the one I use, among others. Be sure to utilize the secret chat function if you decide on this app for your comms.

 

From Telegram site: "Telegram's special secret chats use end-to-end encryption, leave no trace on our servers, support self-destructing messages and don't allow forwarding. On top of this, secret chats are not part of the Telegram cloud and can only be accessed on their devices of origin."

[GTMike]

I prolly should advance to the newer Apps and Tech but I just pay the extra $65/month or so and use an old phone that used to have a different name but with a different number.

 

But it's honestly somewhat silly after the first meet cuz i host at my home >95% of the time anyway. One gentlemen who was doing his diligence prior to our 1st meet before becoming "friends" showed me how he uses a mass marketing service that buys a lot of data from companies and cross references from multiple sources to build consumer database profiles for professional marketers that he uses to help make sure he's somewhat prepared as best he can be for a new potential client. Please don't ask who but just to add some potential helpful info to community he showed me how my second number got linked back to me despite none of it coming officially from the phone company or service provider or was linked with my regular number in the cloud through like a shared Apple icloud account for example. Glad he showed me but wasn't happy about it, hahaha.

 

It's been a few years and I don't remember the name of the service but any business or person can just sign up and pay a monthly fee for access to the service and it searches and spits out data ranging from home and/or work addresses, names, phone numbers, employers etc.. Not saying it's totally accurate and always up to date or the data is always comprehensive and correct but again i felt my attempts to be anonymous was easily thwarted. Hahaha

[down_to_business]

From personal experience, all it takes is that 1 time you get blackmailed by an escort to realize how important it is to protect yourself and your personal information.

 

I only will make contact with a new provider with a VoIP. This was actually suggested to me by an escort I used to see. I make no exceptions for this and if the escort has a problem with it, I simply move on.

 

Do not give specific details out about your life or your personal information. Personally, I hate meeting an escort and having it feel like I am at a job interview. I do enjoy sharing personal information with an escort naturally and over time as we build a relationship.

Here are some examples (examples are not my own personal info!):

Q- What is your birthday?

A- I am a Capricorn or February

not- February 1, 1955

 

Q- Where do you work?

A- In the medical field

not- I am a pharmaceutical sales representative for astra zeneca

 

Q- Where do you live?

A- Cleveland

not- 7417 Battery Park Blvd Unit H7417

 

Or alternatively, create your own backstory just like many escorts do.

 

As far as the fear of an audit trail for written communication, I can only recommend you communicate broadly, (i.e. I really like kissing and receiving oral, are these things that you enjoy?) and never tie any of it to compensation. I actually won't discuss compensation in the same message that I discuss what I want to do. Instead I limit compensation discussions to nothing but time and money. It's actually why I prefer that written communication to voice communication which is so much harder to keep actions and compensation completely separate.

Edited July 4, 2020 by down_to_business

[marylander1940]

I still use google voice for first time meets and it supports photos now. The only times I’ve had prospects call me out on it were some shady acting guys from Seeking. I rarely talk to providers on the phone though, I usually stick to texting.

 

Granted I don’t hire as often lately, but I’ve never had a pro have a problem with it. I think the rest of your behavior says more than the number you use.

 

Unfortunately apps enable folks to misbehave and they're more likely to do it.

 

Agreed, "res non verba" (deeds not words) the world is what we make of it with our own behavior. Unfortunately in the gay community we have lots of 50 y/o teenagers.

[Aaron_Bauder]

My two best friends call me, "He From Whom No Secret Escapes." I believe my discretion has allowed me to maintain a good reputation with people in all areas of my life, including clients. For me, that includes allowing clients whatever degree of anonymity they want, as long as I feel safe. If I feel unsafe I trust my gut and move on -- declining, ignoring or blocking as warranted. I'm not offended when clients do the same when it comes to me, in fact I tell them to. Sometimes I misjudge them and miss out, sometimes they misjudge me and miss out. Unavoidable, as everyone has different biases and boundaries, and sometimes these conflict.

 

I've lost clients because there's certain nights when I don't feel safe doing outcalls, or because there's certain information I withhold until we confirm, or because there's certain communication methods I require to pass what I consider to be sensitive info. Most of it is basic stuff that nearly all serious clients don't think twice about, but some don't like it and that means we're not a match. Oh well.

 

On the flip side, a client canceled today because I refused to provide him with information he says his other hires readily give. I responded, "That's good, it means you have many other options and will be fine. So do I and so will I." He thanked me for being direct and wished me a nice day. It's all good!

 

I would never want the drama of blackmail in my life. Before we meet I usually only have a (possibly fake) phone number and go on to learn nothing more than clients tell me, definitely nothing about their finances. All emails and text messages sent and received are eventually deleted, and only a handful of consistent regulars are even saved phone contacts. My good reputation is such that I think I'm doing something right, but holding boundaries regarding my own privacy does come with a cost.

[James Hoode]

I've used TextNow for years, all free. Love it. Do all my sexting with it

[Ryan Roman]

Either play contact tag through someone else you know and trust, or suffer.

 

Or, get a burner phone (do they still sell those?)

 

There are burner phone apps that allow for burner phone numbers. You can burn the number when needed. I've used a burner phone app for years and it's been a big help.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Unfortunately in the gay community we have lots of 50 y/o teenagers.

 

Some even write and spell like teenagers too lol. Do they think because my ethnicity, that they have to speak to me in bad grammar so I can understand?

[marylander1940]

Some even write and spell like teenagers too lol. Do they think because my ethnicity, that they have to speak to me in bad grammar so I can understand?

 

I think folks who type u for you are just lazy. Some might think writing like that makes them younger...