Is this (the new) normal?

[LaffingBear]

Perspective: not specifically about this interaction, client or rentguy.

 

There's a tendency for many to over-communicate. Particularly in texts, or even posts on social media. To over-explain. To communicate as if there's an underlying concern "I must be certain I'm conveying what I intend. That you not only get the message, but you understand exactly what I meant." Often to be certain that recipient isn't misinterpreting and won't be offended.

 

Just as I am intentionally doing in this post.

 

There are two or more people in any communication. The other guy may be inclined toward brevity. It may just be that they're wired to take offense when none is intended.

 

My learning... my own adjusted behavior: less is more. Avoid explaining myself. Stop seeking assurance that the other guy gets me 100%. Don't over-interpret, as it can result in going on and on and on..... until the likelihood of irritating the other guy is increased.

 

Brevity is an art I pursue. Obviously, I'm not yet an accomplished artist.

 

================

If the scenario happened to me, I'd either hang out and show at the planned time, or send a brief text "traffic light. Prefer now or 5pm?" And respond "OK" to either reply.

 

Plus, if there was an overreaction to that... I'd cancel, because it would indicate to me that its not going to be a match.

Edited March 21, 2020 by LaffingBear

[+ Charlie]

I am wondering how this can be an exact reproduction of a long verbal exchange on the phone. I might give @vasudev some leeway because he is new to the conventions of posting here, but I agree that identifying the provider seems to indicate the motive for the post is retaliation against the provider as much as receiving feedback from members.

Edited March 21, 2020 by Charlie

[Poincare]

Like many of you here, I have a very busy and complicated life, and many people try to adjust times with me. I just go with the flow. I’m not an escort but I interact with dozens of people a day. We all react to communication differently. But I think for the most part, if someone asks if they can adjust a time, it’s easy to say yes or no, and not take it as an affront. This escort should not be an exception. I appreciate that they get annoying texts from pretenders all day, and that must be annoying but we all have our annoyances in life.

[buckguy]

OP---you're headline seems like an odd fit with the conversation, which was an issue with one person. Communication problems are an old story with providers, probably dating back to carrier pigeons and smoke signals.

 

If you look at threads about this guy, communication has been an issue--if he's not available you won't hear back, for example. I was unable to schedule something with him because of when I was available---having read past experiences, I didn't let it bother me when I simply didn't hear back after some back and forth, associated with his changing his dates in DC. Yes, he was short with you, but yes, you changed the time multiple times. My experience with providers is that if there is more than one time or other logistic adjustment, it usually is a sign that there will be problems and if I let things go further, there usually are. I suspect that providers feel the same way.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I feel like this was a 'two to tango' situation.

 

Part of a good escort's job is to be a great communicator: While this was potentially an annoyance, it's HOW an escort handles it that separates him from the pack. This was handled badly.

 

You don't take your bad days out on your clients.

 

You don't wake up on the wrong side of the bed when you've got someone sleeping next to you.

 

And on the flipside, as a client, just stick to the plan until you can't. Then be up-front about it.

 

... And no, this isn't the new normal. There are a ton of escorts out there who don't behave like this.

Edited March 21, 2020 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[+ José Soplanucas]

Giving @vasudev the benefit of the doubt that he posted the entire conversation as he stated, we did read both sides.

 

No we don't. A text message exchange only make sense when we interpret in its context, and the only context we have is OP's narrative.

[+ poolboy48220]

Although If I’m expecting a client 10 minutes after I wouldn’t be eating anything

I know, right?

[EZEtoGRU]

I find no problems with the OP's communications and I agree he probably avoided a lousy escort experience. What stuns me on this thread is that some poster has seen fit to throw bombs at several of the other replies thereby suggesting he was "insulted". Now that is a total overreaction as the posts he was supposedly insulted by were not in the least bit offensive. SMH.

[CuriousByNature]

I find no problems with the OP's communications and I agree he probably avoided a lousy escort experience. What stuns me on this thread is that some poster has seen fit to throw bombs at several of the other replies thereby suggesting he was "insulted". Now that is a total overreaction as the posts he was supposedly insulted by were not in the least bit offensive. SMH.

Now, that is insulting ?

[RomanticRick]

https://rent.men/Mister_Mister

Sorry for your experience! It's very disorienting when someone you had looked forward to meeting with intimately turns on you suddenly.

From personal experience, this behavior of this person does not seem out of character. Repeated attempts to meet several times were rendered impossible by his erratic nature. Really hope to meet him one day!

[DC_mystro]

This will be my first reply here! I'm inclined to do so because I actually met Allen about a week ago. He is a super sweet guy but yes communication was questionable before our meet up. We had a good time together though so I would encourage letting it go and reaching out next time he is near you. He delivers!

[CuriousByNature]

This will be my first reply here! I'm inclined to do so because I actually met Allen about a week ago. He is a super sweet guy but yes communication was questionable before our meet up. We had a good time together though so I would encourage letting it go and reaching out next time he is near you. He delivers!

Thats good to hear and encouraging. But I hope he's being careful about social distancing at this point...

[river]

I have learned from experience to never suggest that I might be early. Too much pressure for the provider. Unlike business meetings and doctor offices, it is not as though they have a waiting area. They are a one-man show with a lot to do...eating, showering, cleaning up and prepping table or bed. It is such a personal service that I want them as relaxed as possible.

[excelntsvc]

maybe we can all agree that it's easy to read things into texts that might not be intended; you changed the appt twice (politely but still it was TWICE) ... he felt a bit jerked around or something ... write it off and move on

[instudiocity]

Wow! You changed the appointed time twice and didn't think you'd upset the apple cart?

You seem oblivious to the effect your changes caused to someone else. That’s what’s not normal....

 

The only thing you were correct about was your offensive behavior, changing the appointment twice in the space of 40 minutes.

Based on the 11 against versus the 6 + me for, I believe I’ve answered the perennial question, “Why does the escort ignore me?”

[Guest Onlinedude]

Not exactly the same but I had a run in with a young escort that pissed me off. He provided the clubhouse address for the apt complex he was staying at to host for his meetings. That's fine you get there and let him know. He was not aware of the layout and struggled to finally send the actual address for the building and gave the apt as 258. There was no 258 for that building but there was a 238. I texted back and he insisted he was in 258. I asked him to open the door and what do you know he was in 238. I took my shoes off and mentioned just so you know this is unit 238. At which point I was told to leave because I was too rude. I assume he did not find me hot which is fine but I did the fellow a favor because it took twenty mins to finally reach his door with all the texting and not everyone is that patient. Its a business after all, know your address.

[nickNYC]

hello can you send the pic i dont found him please

[marylander1940]

https://rent.men/Mister_Mister

 

Will post my conversation here, word for word, and leave it up to you nice folks to interpret. I'm still in shock. Is this (the new) normal?!

 

Initial few messages were fine, courteous, respectful. Then on the day of the scheduled meeting, this:

 

V: Hey! I’m done with work a little earlier than expected. If you happen to be available a little earlier, I could do 4pm. Else, 5pm still works!

Allen: How about 430?

V: Sure! That works! Thank you.

 

(Later that afternoon)

V: On my way. ETA 4:20. Absolutely no rush, just me know when you’re ready

Allen: K guess I'll wait to eat later...

V: No problem at all sorry I know I’m early, you should finish eating that’s totally fine!

Allen: Throw away this food that I just reheated cause instead of 430 you want to make things earlier

V: No! I just left early expecting traffic

Allen: No its fine If you really did care about that time you'd at least wait before heading this way

V: I really don’t mind waiting till 4:30

Allen: (after a long pause) K see you at 4:20

V: Allen, I feel like I’ve offended you and that was not my intent at all. I just left early because theres usually a lot of traffic where I’m coming from. Today there happened to not be much traffic. I will gladly wait ten minutes till 4:30, I would hate for you to waste your food!

Allen: Just come before I change my mind You knew that most people have to work from home today unless you've been living under a rock

V: (now in complete shock) Wow that was rude. I work in the healthcare field, and on my way to work this morning there was still a good amount of traffic. I’m sorry that you’re offended by my attempt to not be late. I repeatedly offered to wait till 4:30. I don’t think I like being treated without respect.

Allen: Dude if you think that was rude I can't wait to see how you'll interact with other escorts Best we don't meet up

 

No, it's not the new normal but unfortunately texting makes this kind of communications more likely to happen.

 

I remember @Mocha posting (before his retirement from the forum) his preference for going to the gym at noon and he was annoyed about how many clients wanted to see him around that time. I simply told him to be as available as much as possible and go to the gym in his free time.

 

An escort is not available at all times but he can always make choices as you offered him in many opportunities during your polite exchange with him. I know guys who get a call when they're at the gym and they take it. They know that client might be the only one they have that day and they either workout later or the next day. It's their choice, and it's a competitive market out there.

 

He was about to eat at 4ish? Was that lunch or dinner? Reheated? You can always reheat it again. If the hotel/airbnb has a microwave it also has a small refrigerator, correct? Besides even if he was using talk to text or he's a hell of a fast texter... he could have been eating that (recently reheated) food instead of texting you.

 

"unless you've been living under a rock", no need for attitude/sarcasm. I

 

Imagine having a BFE experience with someone who just talked to you that way?

 

I agree with him that sooner or later you'll have similar interactions with other escorts but again this definitively it's NOT the new normal.

 

Wow! You changed the appointed time twice and didn't think you'd upset the apple cart?

You seem oblivious to the effect your changes caused to someone else. That’s what’s not normal....

 

The only thing you were correct about was your offensive behavior, changing the appointment twice in the space of 40 minutes.

 

Folks changing appointments to fit better their schedule happen all the time. How polite they're and whether the escort is free or not are what really matter.

 

Have you ever cancel an appointment or rescheduled? Besides @vasudev suggesting from 4:30 to his 4:20 ETA (not including parking, walking, taking the elevator) is hardly changing the time of the appointment.

 

I think you're just bias in favor or this escort and can't seem to see (or admit) why he lost a client because of his own behavior. If @Mocha have posted this you'd be mocking his attitude.

 

I had not seen this thread.

 

What can I say? The Allen showing in that exchange and in the OP's narrative is not the Allen I know. I have met him several times throughout the last four years and counting, and I do not recognize him here. If this narrative is not a fabrication and the exchange is not edited, apparently he acted wrong. Perhaps he was in a bad day. It happens to me.

 

However, we are reading only one side of the drama. I wonder what we would learn whether Allen had the chance to speak.

 

Sometimes folks have bad days but it's a competitive market out there. Hopefully he doesn't behave with others the same way.

 

@vasudev could have written a bad review on RM or Daddy's instead of just posting his experience with him on here.

Edited March 30, 2020 by marylander1940

[Aaron_Bauder]

I have learned from experience to never suggest that I might be early. Too much pressure for the provider. Unlike business meetings and doctor offices, it is not as though they have a waiting area. They are a one-man show with a lot to do...eating, showering, cleaning up and prepping table or bed. It is such a personal service that I want them as relaxed as possible.

 

THIS. One of the few threads where everyone makes solid points, but Stu synthesizes all the emotional intelligence shown by many others here.

 

Ya, rescheduling happens all the time, but not 'on-the-fly' for professional appointments like, say, for a dentists' appointment or a job interview. Many forget escort/masseur appointments are similar because the service provided is intimate and the communication informal. You don't get to text your doctor an hour before your 5pm, "Hey, can we do 30 minutes early?" then "Actually, 40 minutes early." You might check in, but you likely wouldn't ask to be seen 30 minutes early, then just announce "I'll be there at 4:20" as if assuming they should be ready.

 

A 40 min difference in prep time *might* be the difference between you having a good and a crap one, depending on what else if going on in the escort's day that you don't know about. Good providers give professional service in an personal way *that hides the professionalism* and the transactional reality of this service. If meeting at 5, there's a list of things to do -- hidden from the client -- to create conditions for magic to happen: showering, cleaning up, meditating, Viagra timing, erasing from your psyche the weirdo you met with earlier...whatever. On top of day-to-day responsibilities, errands, and self care (like eating lunch). And as Stu points out, Rentmen don't have waiting rooms, receptionists, and assistants to help out. We do it all.

 

Most try to be accommodating, but in a poor moment I've gotten snippy with a well-meaning client who was the last straw in a pile of flakes, time wasters, and others who constantly devalue our time. That reaction is not okay; patience is required for this work, period. I just wish more clients were mindful that, like any other livelihood, our schedules are not endlessly flexible and the magic usually doesn't just happen out of thin air even when the best make it seem so. Probably most who need to hear that aren't on this forum.

 

I also agree with those who think sharing the alleged verbatim contents of a private escort interaction is inappropriate and unnecessary. It's dangerously close to a review, which is not allowed here.

Edited April 3, 2020 by Aaron_Bauder

[marylander1940]

If meeting at 5, there's a list of things to do -- hidden from the client -- to create conditions for magic to happen: showering, cleaning up, meditating, Viagra timing, erasing from your psyche the weirdo you met with earlier...whatever. On top of day-to-day responsibilities, errands, and self care (like eating lunch). And as Stu points out, Rentmen don't have waiting rooms, receptionists, and assistants to help out. We do it all.

 

Most try to be accommodating, but in a poor moment I've gotten snippy with a well-meaning client who was the last straw in a pile of flakes, time wasters, and others who constantly devalue our time.

 

You're making great points but I just would add that a lot of time could be saved if we just put the phone down and finish what we're doing instead of constantly texting emojis and beyond.

 

One thing is clear, they client @vasudev wasn't a flake but as you point maybe others flaked on him before.

 

Snippy? Who hasn't been snippy "shall cast the first stone"

[Chad Constantine]

When I saw the name I wasn't surprised based on my own bad experience where we scheduled a date in advance and then I find out through RM that his dates have changed without even a text that something came up. Honesty, if it was me I would have been much ruder than @@vasudev after that first reply. After that second reply it would gone something like this:

 

 

I have asked providers if they could see me earlier because I was finished with work early and they simply said yes or no. I have arrived 30 minutes early and just let them know Im downstairs and to let me know when to come up and has never been a problem. It has happened the other way too where the guy needs more time to get ready so I just keep on walking until they are ready. If that is the entire transcript all that extraneous in the texts was not needed.

Edited November 29, 2020 by Chad Constantine

[DallasFootFtshAthlete]

On 3/20/2020 at 8:01 PM, FrankR said:

He is actually quite well spoken of here and well reviewed too.

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/411-on-mister-mister.149024/

https://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/usa/texas/allen_dallas

 

He's weird.   I met him several years ago and I felt like I was speaking to a 13 year old.   Half the time he was really pleasant on text then out of the blue he'd sound angry and pissed off.    Then when he arrived he was acting almost like he was in love with me and I couldn't get him to leave, started telling me personal problems and things I really didn't want or need to hear like he wanted some sympathy and for me to invite him to stay and talk about it.

I would seriously think twice before booking this guy, especially if he thinks or knows you have money.   There is a screw loose up in his brain and he strikes me as the type that you really don't want to have any of your personal information, especially your address.   I'd think long and hard (no pun intended) before booking.

And if it makes it easier, he does have a good build but he's pretty skinny in some places -- some of his pictures make him look huge and he's not, plus he's a slight bit effeminate.