Real identies....

[Ryan Roman]

Jesus, has nobody heard of burner phones??

 

Burner is a great app for scheduling appointments through with second phone number.

[Chad Constantine]

I am reminded of lines from my favorite supernatural themed manga that was later turned into an anime.

[Quincy_7]

I would never reveal my identity to an escort, no matter how close we got. It's all well and good until an escort gets desperate and tries to blackmail you for a quick pay day:

https://lasvegassun.com/news/2019/aug/14/alleged-male-prostitute-arrested-for-extortion-in/

https://www.courthousenews.com/gay-porn-actors-extortion-conviction-affirmed-by-9th-circuit/

[ericwinters]

I get the concerns in this post... but you can exchange the term escort to:

• employee
  
• boss
  
• spouse
  
• girlfriend/boyfriend
  
• parent
  
• child
  
• and on and on and on and on
  

I get the escort situation adds a bunch more drama and risk, but drama is drama in my book.

[instudiocity]

I get the concerns in this post... but you can exchange the term escort to:

• employee
  
• boss
  
• spouse
  
• girlfriend/boyfriend
  
• parent
  
• child
  
• and on and on and on and on
  

I get the escort situation adds a bunch more drama and risk, but drama is drama in my book.

I would submit “escort” relationships are reduced drama when compared to just about every other relationship listed here.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I would never reveal my identity to an escort, no matter how close we got. It's all well and good until an escort gets desperate and tries to blackmail you for a quick pay day:

https://lasvegassun.com/news/2019/aug/14/alleged-male-prostitute-arrested-for-extortion-in/

https://www.courthousenews.com/gay-porn-actors-extortion-conviction-affirmed-by-9th-circuit/

 

It wasn't until recent years that a "boyfriend" could pull the blackmail game as well. And in some places in the States, they still can.

[down_to_business]

If I am going to meet with an escort for an hour, no personal information is usually exchanged. If I am meeting with an escort for an overnight or longer, we usually do exchange some degree of personal information -- mostly so I can book his flight if applicable. In general I let the escort set the pace of when and how much we share, as long as there is a likelihood I will want to see him again. I wouldn't ever press or force the exchange of personal information if it was not needed.

[+ quoththeraven]

No one is entitled to identifying personal information if they're not paying for plane tickets, although it's nice to get it. But whatever personal information is shared should be truthful.

[Guest davebk]

I'm pretty careful about this. I don't use my real name, make sure my ids are locked in the hotel safe, no prescription bottles or receipts laying around, and don't bring any cell phone or personal info into the place if I'm going to his hotel. One google of my name would show him who employs me, my social media is pretty easy to find, and the people I'm connected to.

 

I'm not in a high profile job, I'm not a closeted congressional staffer, etc., so it isn't that side that would concern me. It's more that the escort decide to make trouble for me, get angry and decide to post information, or go contacting people I know in order to embarrass or extort. So I try to be pretty careful. Maybe it is paranoia, but it is only until you're right.

[DallasClient]

I provide my name up front. Rarely is my last name needed for anything. There are a few that are also Facebook friends. As a client, I don't need a providers real name. When buying plane tickets I warn the provider that if I make the reservation, I will need information they may not want to share with me.

[bostonman]

I find it creepy when clients wanna know my “real name”. I use a chosen name for a reason. You’re hiring Zachary. Not the real me. The real me isn’t anywhere near as professional and selfless when it comes to sex. Zachary is a real fireball of a character. Calling me by any other name or expressing a desire to would take me out of the headspace that I’m always in when I’m “on the clock”. Not to mention trigger privacy concerns. And make me feel like the client is being invasive unnecessarily. I know a lot of you think you want the “real person” behind the escort, but you don’t. If that’s what you really wanted then you’d be on grindr or cruising in bars instead of hiring. If you want a professional experience then call Zachary for a good time. If you want my “real name” then go find me in a bar or at the gym and ask me for my name. You’ll get my name but you won’t get the experience that Zachary can give you, that’s for sure...

 

Being a fan of roleplay, I definitely get this. Some escorts choose to go by other names to keep their real life identities private - but some, like Zachary, are having fun creating a whole alter ego. And in that sense, I agree, if I'm hiring Zachary for what he can uniquely offer, I would expect to be with Zachary. (And I tend to think that even if I found out Zachary's given name, that I'd still want him to be Zachary when we were together. It's all part of the image.) And of course, if Zachary allowed for nicknames (Zach, Zack, Zac, etc) that would be cool too.

 

I've done roleplays with FB's (or FWB's) before, and it can be fun to play in and out of those identities. I've been in situations where we'd plan accordingly - do I want to make it with the real guy tonight or his character, lol. Can be goofy/erotic fun.

Edited January 5, 2020 by bostonman

[bostonman]

I personally sometimes compliment or refer to my partner while being intimate "Oh, yeah, Kevin, that feels really good!". It seems silly to say "Kevin" if the guy's name is Eric.

 

Yes - except for the kind of roleplay situations I mentioned in my above post. But then again, I've always really loved the name "Kevin" lol - so if that turns out to be someone's real name that I don't know about, I would hope they'd tell me lol. (And yeah, I like saying someone's name during sex too.)

[Rudynate]

I don't understand the preoccupation with knowing an escort's real name. You're still a client. It seems like trying to distract yourself from the fact that he's an escort and you're a client. I don't fight being a client or try to avoid the reality of the relationship.

 

 

I think once you're a client with a guy, you should probably satisfy yourself with remaining a client.

[bostonman]

I don't understand the preoccupation with knowing an escort's real name. You're still a client. It seems like trying to distract yourself from the fact that he's an escort and you're a client. I don't fight being a client or try to avoid the reality of the relationship.

 

 

I think once you're a client with a guy, you should probably satisfy yourself with remaining a client.

 

I think for a lot of people it's just human nature to want to know the first name of someone you're in an intimate setting with. Some people love totally anonymous sex, and that's fine, but a lot of us may feel they can be a lot more intimate when on a true first name basis - even when knowing that "stage names" come with the territory in escorting.

 

That said, sort of like Zachary's example earlier in the thread, I would assume escorts choose their escort names because they like something about the image that name implies, etc. So it's not so much that they're hiding behind a name, rather they're creating an image that they feel will be attractive and sexy and alluring. Maybe they actually like that name better than their real name.

[BaronArtz]

In this day and age of Instagram, the transition of the RM profile to the IG profile is very fluid. Some escorts, although not many, use the same name for both profiles. Most use the same pictures. It is astonishingly easy to find someone's profile on social media and with that, their social network. I don't need to ask what an escort's real name is. In most cases it's right there.

[Guest Calix_K]

As one who has time in the military, certain traits bleed into the civilian side of life.

While in operational theatre for certain units, going "sterile" means any identifiable information (name, rank, unit, etc) on uniforms and kit is stripped for OPSEC reasons.

 

Within the realm of escort work given that I have had some low level detective work done on my identity by curious clients in the past, I always go into appointments "sterile".

However, with long standing clients the "OPSEC level" is not always that high. Either way, it hasn't let me down.

[LaffingBear]

I think that's a personal decision, and differs by individual.

 

I met a guy in 2017. Took a chance on a phony-picture guy who video-chatted for confirmation, and who was, imo, better looking than the pictures he used. Things seemed to click. Did an hour, then another, an overnight. From a different city, he contacted me when in my region, I contacted him when in his.

 

I genuinely enjoyed his company. A true gentleman.

 

But. He couldn't get past the privacy issue. He had, reportedly, had issues with indiscreet revelation of his real identity earlier in career.

 

I offered to arrange his travel. Flew him to my city. Asked if he wanted join me on trips... short weekends and perhaps lengthier trips. But I told him that at some point, he'd have to move past the total privacy issue. For example, I'd be happy to fly him to meet me in Las Vegas... but I'd need to leave his real name at the desk for a room key. Told him I was even considering inviting him to join me in Europe... but I wasnt going to travel internationally with someone, but not know the name on their passport.

 

He assured me that he was very interested in the travel opportunities; he'd raise the possibility when we were together. But he wouldn't or couldn't concede on the anonymity point, despite multiple times together.

 

Last saw him 18 months ago. Eventually, his ad disappeared. I don't know if he retired from the business or simply chose to cut back to being with a few established clients. I never heard from him, and decided to respect his privacy, and never contacted him either.

 

The vagueness left me a little uncertain. Could he be working with another name? In another city? Using new fake pictures? I've considered a discreet text now and then... something vague like "you still working?" But decide against it. I respect guys who choose to move on from being a rentguy... don't want to be a source of frustration for them, that they can't leave a life-chapter behind and move on.

 

So... in response to original post... I don't know if there's an appropriate time to share identities. I'm willing to share my identity after developing some trust and familiarity. And, I guess, I'm unwilling to move on to some enhanced levels of a working relationship in the absence of some trust as evidenced by identity-sharing.

[+ VictorPowers]

The real ide Tory thing is different for everyone. I have very close regulars that still do not know my real name. On the other hand I have had clients write me personal checks. There are extremes and everything in between. I prefer my stage name so only a few people “get to” use my real name.

[lonely_john]

I might be alone on this one but I think the less we know from each other the better the chemistry. When we go too intimate something happens and the fantasy starts fading away. Also people change and you never know when the provider starts getting too familiar, professionalism blurs and could start asking for loans or personal favors, or if the provider gets involved in dirty business with law enforcement , and your names are connected... I think also in this case « less » is « more ».

Edited February 11, 2020 by lonely_john

[tj_forplay]

This was an interesting read. I guess I'm naive, I've never given a provider a fake name or alias, but someone for random hookup? yep, they'll likely get a fake name. I never thought about whether or not a provider gave me a real name, I just want something to call them by during conversation (as we wrap our time together) & something I could save with their number in my phone should I want to connect again. I've never exchanged more than a first name, are people really exchanging their full legal names? I don't see reason for concern otherwise.

 

Because my social media accounts are connected to my cell number, I'm careful about using my real number & instead use a Google voice number. I know, as it has been discussed on this forum, providers tend to not prefer clients who use these "disposable" numbers, but I've been using the same number for many years. I've never had a provider not respond or decline me because of it. Or at least they didn't say it was because of it.

 

Hopefully I don't show on providers Facebook's friends suggestions as "people they may know". I had a few providers show up on mine, I just remove them and go about my day. I don't even Snoop around because their real, personal life isn't any of my business if they didn't choose to share it with me.

[+ Eric Hassan]

for me, using a stage name is part of the fun. i have a legal name. i have a porn name. i do a lot of writing and i have a third name for my writing. i also make music and i use a fourth name for that. they are all me but each one has strengths and concerns that the others don't have. part of my creative process (and sanity) is being able to embody these "characters"

 

i don't really mind if folx find out my legal name (or any other name) but i do love the name eric, and i love being called eric, but if someone wanted to call me by my legal name, i'm not interested in fighting that. and if i don't want to hear it, i can always shove my dick in their mouth.

[+ RJD]

i don't really mind if folx find out my legal name (or any other name) but i do love the name eric, and i love being called eric, but if someone wanted to call me by my legal name, i'm not interested in fighting that. and if i don't want to hear it, i can always shove my dick in their mouth.

 

What’s your legal name so I can repeatedly call you by it until you don’t want to hear it? ?