Payment in advance

[cmennow]

I've paid an airfare for someone a couple of times and things have worked out fine. But I would not pay for the whole experience up front before we met. Reading some of these experiences on here is enough for me. I don't need to be made an example.

[Aaron James]

Met a guy in London recently who insisted on getting his hourly rate at the end of each hour. At the end of the first hour I gave him the money and wished him a pleasant evening. More fool him.

[Guest]

Admin note: Not the type of shade we need around here.

Edited August 16, 2019 by Guy Fawkes

[bigvalboy]

Never have.

 

Never will.

 

End of story...

[dcman]

As a rule I will not pay in advance. Ive been burned more than once. What are others thoughts on this practice?

NEVER EVER PAY IN ADVANCE....

[blightuponyou]

I have twice, but only after frank communication with the escort about expectations (both his and mine) and only once I was in the room with him right before we started.

 

I would never do it before actually meeting the person.

[Enronnja]

Did it once, but got what I wanted, but it was a risk. I vowed, no matter how good or reputable, I won’t do it. I felt lucky.

[Jbronson]

There's a difference between making a deposit and paying upon arrival. I've always payed as soon as I met the provider in person and have never had any issues with it. Making a deposit however, is something I've never done.

[instudiocity]

Escort: “May I have my fee?

Me: “Why? Don’t you want a tip, too?”

[+ 5280Dane]

It seems there are scams on Grindr and every once in awhile Scruff where the person uses a popular pornstars photos and attempts to get you to deposit money before meeting. The one I see most often is using Austin Wolf’s pictures. After asking which hotel they are at I ask for a selfie with a bottle of the hotel shampoo in the pic and holding up fingers. I change it up. They never respond after that. Yes I know it’s a fake right away but I love wasting their time before I report them.

 

I would only pay for travel expenses prior and even then I would have to feel very confident and the provider be well respected and reviewed before doing that. Oh, and win the lottery too.

[Kris_Canada]

There are some good guys who need a way to reassure themselves because for outcalls sometimes clients give fake addresses and they have to drive tens of miles to a no show.

 

There're liars on both sides and it sucks that a minority of swindlers (on the escort side) and time-wasters (on the potential-client-but-let's-face-it-that-prankster-was-never-actually-gonna-become-a-client side) cause us to be less trustful of each other.

 

The first half of 2019 was the Year of Fakes, Flakes, Scammers and Pranksters, oddly, for me. Thankfully it tapered off.

 

But yeah, if I'm driving any further than 45 minutes anywhere for a client, I ask for a $40 USD pre-payment via e-transfer or PayPal (and now I realize I can use Western Union as well and started to a few weeks ago) to cover me for gas, travel time, and wear & tear on my vehicle, and it increases the further they are from me. If the person chickens out last minute, or if they were a fake to begin with and never intended to meet (but oddly still decided to pay the upfront in order to get their rocks off over scamming me), this at least covers me for the hour there and the hour back from a what-I'd-make-at-the-lowest-paying-of-my-day-jobs-in-the-film-industry perspective.

 

It's more if the client wants me to travel further specifically for them. The drive from Toronto to Rochester isn't a short one, for example (dang lake's in the way, heh). A guy asked recently and I quoted him a $100 pre-payment, otherwise he'd need to wait until the next time I'm in Buffalo or passing through. If someone in another province or country wants to see me but doesn't wanna pay anything in advance, I politely decline and tell them that hopefully we can meet when/if I happen to be staying in their city some day.

 

If it's for an overnight and I already know them well (I have a few regular clients in my province who I drive 2 to 4 hours for), no travel fee is implemented.

 

There were a few posts here that seemed to be mixing the meaning of what constitutes an advance payment.

 

I can understand avoiding pre-payment in full (or ANY, if your escort is local to you) before you've even seen the guy, but some of you don't believe in paying the escort when they arrive at your door or hotel room ? Don't tons of other escorts (the majority?) refuse to do business if they're not paid upon entering ? Or at least SHOWN that the cash is on hand and have had it set down on the night stand or elsewhere and they simply don't touch it until the session is over ?

 

Sorry, but I've been ripped off twice -- once by my original/longest [at the time] client, randomly/weirdly (we got to the end of the session and he said abruptly/with his head down, "I don't have it, I don't have it!"), and he's requested my services since then, without agreeing with me that he first needs to make up for the free session he tricked me into...and another time by a new guy I spent 15 minutes with before remembering to ask for payment (that guy got some kissing and a bit of a shoulder massage outta me before I wised up). I asked to at least SEE that he had the money, even if he put it back in his wallet and locked his wallet in a safe after or something, and he STILL refused. And he started saying, "Yyyep! That's right, you can leave," as I was putting my shoes back on, "You just missed out on $240 buddy!" (talking Canadian rates, in that case)

 

Twice-bitten, doubly shy.

 

I'm not gonna get naked with a client and then potentially NOT get paid.

 

Re: "don't you want a tip?" Fair point, but that's kinda disingenuous. You CAN tip after the session is over, if you feel like doing so/if you think things went so well that he deserves one, even if you paid him his hourly or overnight at the outset. There's no rule saying it needs to be all in one stack, in the same handover.

 

I never expect a tip. They're bonuses. My day's already awesome by getting paid to keep you company, massage you, and/or be your companion, travel-and/or-cuddle-buddy for the hour/the day/the weekend...a tip is gravy. You know what's just as valuable to me as a $20 to $100 tip ? A nice review. If you're not in the habit of tipping cash or if money's tight, you providing a review for me is huge.

Edited August 17, 2019 by Kris_Canada

[Guest]

 

No guts, no glory!

[SirBillybob]

Piping in, as this was posted in a topic heading without the appropriate key words:

 

Sorry if this idea is already presented in previous threads. I am sure some members will happily shoot it down. LOL

 

"Earnest payment" cannot be easily applied to a biz on the fringes of legality, and there would need to be a middleman for escrow, default, or refund contingencies. As posters say, the central problem is dishonesty either side.

 

One idea is to summarize your take on the earnest deposit idea and simply ask prospective clients what their attitude is, irrespective of whether they have or agree to a remittance mechanism. It has a long history you can reference and you need not highlight badass clients as if you are projecting a new client falls into the scumbag category.

 

More tantric, less tantrum.

 

His response may provide an additional screening tool for you. Many services require an intentional downpayment to commit. Jackasses balk in those contexts.

 

I just bought an OnlyFans one-month privilege for a local dancer's account access. Parenthetically, he is available without deposit because he knows me.

 

It occurs to me that you can open an onlyfans provider account yourself. The content can help corroborate your legitimacy yet need not allude to the sexual domain, in case a client worries about his digital footprints.

 

Obviously, you would set the single-month opening payment higher and at a level commensurate with your

session rate. You don't have to invoice. Client remits on OnlyFans and it is secure. I think there is a way to work out how you connect the payer as the particular client. Perhaps he msgs you thru the site? I don't have time to look it up.

 

This, of course, would apply to initial appointment. He then cancels the following month charge. I realize subsequent ones would likely not synch with consecutive monthly payments.

 

You could even for handle use: EarnestPenny, ArlesPenny, God'sSilver, ArgentumDei, KingsShilling, EscrowEgg, the list goes on. Just make it a fair-and-square deposit agenda. By fair, I don't mean Renaissance Fair, though the labels evoke that theme.

 

And of course acknowledge your receipt of remittance ASAP to alleviate his anxiety.

[LaffingBear]

This topic was an issue for me only 4 days ago.

 

After keeping me waiting 20 min in hotel lobby... guy was ready just as I was ready to move on.

 

Up to room, he immediately asked for money. I refused. Showed him I had money, offered to put $100 on table. He refused, told me we should just cancel. Explained prior client refused to pay after. I responded Id had several experiences of guys grabbing the money and ending things. He repeated his insistence, I repeated mine.

 

We worked it out, proceeded. I did NOT pay in advance. In hindsight, wish Id moved on.

Edited August 24, 2019 by LaffingBear

[MrMattBig]

This topic was an issue for me only 4 days ago.

 

After keeping me waiting 20 min in hotel lobby... guy was ready just as I was ready to move on.

 

Up to room, he immediately asked for money. I refused. Showed him I had money, offered to put $100 on table. He refused, told me we should just cancel. Explained prior client refused to pay after. I responded Id had several experiences of guys grabbing the money and ending things. He repeated his insistence, I repeated mine.

 

We worked it out, proceeded. I did NOT pay in advance. In hindsight, wish Id moved on.

 

Was the hindsight to move on because the moment was spoiled by the back and forth with the payment or because it was bad service/experience?

[LaffingBear]

Was the hindsight to move on because the moment was spoiled by the back and forth with the payment or because it was bad service/experience?

 

Mixture of factors

 

1) I'm probably over-sensitive to feeling potentially disrespected in the business transaction elements. He'd texted me multiple times "are you coming?" Told me "text 10 min before you arrive." I did. He took 15 min to acknowledge, said "I'll be right down" then kept me waiting in lobby another 15-20 min.

 

2) the experience itself was mediocre. After the prepay-or-not discussion, he checked his phone for the time and announced the end time to the minute... to occur 55 min later. He matched his photos perfectly, had been friendly in advance, confirming on Whatsapp. But his performance was lackluster. His phone pinged, buzzed, and rang throughout the session... he got up once to silence it. But we were done, both bored, well before the hour was up. And then he was on his phone in 30 seconds, then hustled me out the door, telling me his next client was arriving and he didn't want us to cross paths.

 

I checked in the elevator... 45 minutes total.

 

I shoulda left when he became instantly indignant when I wouldn't prepay and he responded that I should leave, hand on the doorknob. Maybe he meant it, maybe he has been scammed, or maybe that's a tactic that gets hesitant guys to prepay.

[MrMattBig]

He's most likely been scammed or shorted before. But it still seems like he was very mechanical, and was booking clients too close/double booking.

 

Advise: splitting the payment from an escorts view is just as bad as short changing/skipping payment.

I have had situations where someone offered to pay half in the beginning and the rest at the end, then said the first half was all they had...times where deception occured and they ended being a fast finisher and then only wanted to pay half after inquiring and wanting an hour.

 

I like to read signs from people. If he said he would be right down, to me that means he should be putting on shoes grabbing the room key and out to the elevator. With a slow elevator that should be 5 minutes max. If he is running behind, he should say an estimate of how long...""sorry running behind should be down in 10 minutes". The fact that he took another 15 minutes, after saying he would be right down, and after he said let him know when you were 10 minutes away, shows me that it is mechanical for him and does not value and consider you the clients time at all. I would have called him 5 minutes after he said coming down...and if he wasn't in the elevator or saying exactly how much longer and give an explanation I would have left.

[beachboy]

I always have full payment visible in an open envelope on the nightstand as I know many other people do.

My view is I have booked his time & therefore I will pay even if the service isn't as good as I hoped. My option then is not to book him again & maybe post a negative review.

If he is a gentleman he won't pocket the money until the appointment is finished-in fact the best times have been with guys who followed this protocol & were therefore re-booked & good reviews posted.

 

Guys I have previously booked have told me there's no need to display the cash but I still do it cos I want him to relax knowing he will be paid in full & I can always slip an extra bill or 2 into the envelope if I wish to give him a tip.

 

Those whose service was not so good have always pocketed the money immediately!

 

Bottom (!) line-the labourer is worthy of his hire & I want the good ones to welcome a request for a subsequent booking

[mike carey]

@MrMattBig, you're showing you are the real deal in a sea of others who may be.

[LaffingBear]

He's most likely been scammed or shorted before. But it still seems like he was very mechanical, and was booking clients too close/double booking.

 

Advise: splitting the payment from an escorts view is just as bad as short changing/skipping payment.

I have had situations where someone offered to pay half in the beginning and the rest at the end, then said the first half was all they had...times where deception occured and they ended being a fast finisher and then only wanted to pay half after inquiring and wanting an hour.

 

I like to read signs from people. If he said he would be right down, to me that means he should be putting on shoes grabbing the room key and out to the elevator. With a slow elevator that should be 5 minutes max. If he is running behind, he should say an estimate of how long...""sorry running behind should be down in 10 minutes". The fact that he took another 15 minutes, after saying he would be right down, and after he said let him know when you were 10 minutes away, shows me that it is mechanical for him and does not value and consider you the clients time at all. I would have called him 5 minutes after he said coming down...and if he wasn't in the elevator or saying exactly how much longer and give an explanation I would have left.

Totally agree. For comprehensive context. I gave part up front, and showed I had rest.

 

Also... a very well-reviewed guy.

[nycl4escort]

I wouldn't pay in advance generally, but if I was looking to set up a 3-way, I would consider it given the complications in organizing the meet, especially if the two escorts did not already partner with each other.

[DMICS]

I never pay in advance, though for a somewhat recent hire I broke that rule. He was a 'reputable' local on RM, and asked for the full payment before the session began. Told him my rule and he was adamant on upfront payment. I expressed my concerns, he expressed his (being scammed) and I told him I'll move on, I don't break my rule. Because the conversation of that subject wasn't hostile and he wasn't rude, I reached back out a day later and asked if he would be fine with half out in the open on a table. He agreed and I booked him for a session that was great.

 

Moving forward I'm not breaking my rule again.

 

Mixture of factors

 

1) I'm probably over-sensitive to feeling potentially disrespected in the business transaction elements. He'd texted me multiple times "are you coming?" Told me "text 10 min before you arrive." I did. He took 15 min to acknowledge, said "I'll be right down" then kept me waiting in lobby another 15-20 min.

 

I shoulda left when he became instantly indignant when I wouldn't prepay and he responded that I should leave, hand on the doorknob. Maybe he meant it, maybe he has been scammed, or maybe that's a tactic that gets hesitant guys to prepay.

 

Yeah, the fact you were in his building and he wasn't down in 5 minutes is just fishy. I would've left. Based on a personal frustrating hookup experience (outside of the escort world), he definitely had another client upstairs and was finishing that up.

 

If he said he would be right down, to me that means he should be putting on shoes grabbing the room key and out to the elevator. With a slow elevator that should be 5 minutes max. If he is running behind, he should say an estimate of how long...""sorry running behind should be down in 10 minutes". The fact that he took another 15 minutes, after saying he would be right down, and after he said let him know when you were 10 minutes away, shows me that it is mechanical for him and does not value and consider you the clients time at all. I would have called him 5 minutes after he said coming down...and if he wasn't in the elevator or saying exactly how much longer and give an explanation I would have left.

 

Pretty much.

[DallasClient]

I do as others have, I put the money on a dresser and I usually point to it. Only had one guy make a beeline to it, count it and pocket it before he got undressed and proceeded with lousy service and before I knew about the forums. I've had two over the years actually forget the money and I called them before they got far to come back. I've covered airfare and Uber in advance but have been lucky. I will also offer to just add Uber to the fees.

 

For overnights with new guys at my place, I let them know they are free to ask the other escorts I have reviewed in the past any questions about me or my place and let my escorts know they may relate their experiences too.

 

To this day I am flabbergasted by people who will waste escorts time with texts and no intention of meeting and those who have an escort travel to a location of unwitting residents. I just don't get it and glad I don't.

[Jeff Meuller]

The few times I've paid upfront were always a disaster. The one time I persuaded the escort to only accept after play, the play wasn't that great. Since the upfront ask has been batting 100% bad, I should think with the head and not the balls and cancel with any upfront asks. There's plenty of providers out there, one should just move on. The majority don't expect payment until the end.

[DMICS]

This subject just came up again with an NYC provider I've had my eye on for a while.

 

Been looking forward to finally seeing this stud tomorrow after contacting him last week. Sadly it appears it won't happen. While confirming our appointment, I asked if its fine his fee is handed to him when the session is over. He said no and that upfront payment is standard. Respected his protocol and mentioned that my method is "standard" too. I guess that struck a nerve.

 

Nothing super disrespectful but the tone of the text messages saying my request makes me look shady and saying he's been fucked over by people like me I think was unfair. And later stating how dare I question "his industry" and saying "You're a joke" wasn't kosher either. The RuPaul reference he sent to me was a nice touch.

 

Ah well, plenty of fish on both sides, just disappointed since I was really anticipating it and booked my hotel for the session.

Edited September 23, 2019 by DMICS