Payment in advance

[MrMattBig]

This subject just came up again with an NYC provider I've had my eye on for a while.

 

Been looking forward to finally seeing this stud tomorrow after contacting him last week. Sadly it appears it won't happen. While confirming our appointment, I asked if its fine his fee is handed to him when the session is over. He said no and that upfront payment is standard. Respected his protocol and mentioned that my method is "standard" too. I guess that struck a nerve.

 

Nothing super disrespectful but the tone of the text messages saying my request makes me look shady and saying he's been fucked over by people like me I think was unfair. And later stating how dare I question "his industry" and saying "You're a joke" wasn't kosher either. The RuPaul reference he sent to me was a nice touch.

 

Ah well, plenty of fish on both sides, just disappointed since I was really anticipating it and booked my hotel for the session.

Devils advocate for a second, trust does go both ways. If you are not going to trust him, he has little reason to trust you either. And I rebuttal of "your method being standard" in this instance would come off condescending and sarcastic, which is probably what triggered him to go off.

Which is still no excuse and completely unacceptable from his end.

 

I also prefer payment once a client arrives, so I don't have to worry about it becoming an issue and can fully concentrate on our time together.

That being said I only request that from clients maybe 10% of the time. Its all about reading the room. If I suspect the client could be shady, ill ask them to put it out by the tv when they are undressing.

 

Food for thought as well, if an escort is preoccupied with if they will get stiffed at the end of the session, how good of quality will the session play out? And asking to pay after before even showing up kind of puts that worry in the forefront.

 

So its ends up being kind of a social justice issue so to speak in that escorts should do more to eliminate taking appointments with potential shady clients, and clients should do more to eliminate booking potentially shady escorts. Payment before/after would be less of an issue then.

[FrancisCA]

As a rule I will not pay in advance. Ive been burned more than once. What are others thoughts on this practice?

Never asked for it but did accept it when a client wanted too to prove that he was the real deal so i kindly accepted

[BaronArtz]

. What other service person in your life would you pre-pay for?

 

I have prepaid shoe repairs. Gym memberships are prepaid on the 1st of the month. I have prepaid for a package deal of personal training sessions.

 

I can't think of anything else I would prepay for. I have never been asked to prepay for escort or massage services. I guess I come across as a trustworthy person. Would I do it? After reading the horror stories here - not likely.

[Islesguy]

While I haven't hired very much, none of the people I have hired asked for payment upfront or visible in the room. And at this point there are two guys I hired that I will probably just stick to as regulars as long as they are in the business. I may not be able to see either of them often, but I get exactly what I am looking for from both of them.

[DallasClient]

Be careful of other ways the scammers will try and get money up front too. Had one arrange to meet up and then his car "broke down on the way over" and needed to pay the shop in order to make it over.

[Hungmixedboi88]

I had a potential client hit me up recently, he was nice.. married but couldn't meet for a whole week or two weeks after our first contact I believe. I told him that we could reserve a date for in the future and for him to contact me closer to the time he was thinking of meeting. He proceeded to send me very descriptive messages about what he wanted to do and asking for my input. I know it comes with the territory but after a few years you start to notice when a guy is just chatting you up while jerking off and never intends to meet so I told him if he wanted to send an "incentive" for all this dirty texting then cool but if not he could just wait until a day or two before and just hit me up about details on the meeting. He chilled out and we in fact did NOT end up meeting. Its a slippery slope because both sides have been scammed before so how do you protect yourself as a provider.

 

Also was off putting to hear him say he could be a regular for me and we haven't met yet. I guess when a guy says that to me, it's a red flag.

[rogerG]

off putting to hear him say he could be a regular for me and we haven't met yet. I guess when a guy says that to me, it's a red flag.

I would consider it a red flag, too, although, I have used similar words when communicating with a massage therapist. In the massage realm, it is fairly common to lose a regular favorite and want to replace him. I no longer mention that.

 

after a few years you start to notice when a guy is just chatting you up while jerking off and never intends to meet

I hope you notice the horny customer who is jerking your chain long before two years passes. :-) Dealing with a horny customer who may have no intention of meeting is a downside to the business. However, horny men are capable of unpredictable behavior. You can never know when intentions change on a dime.

[LongIslandGuy]

To sum it up.....NEVER

[DMICS]

However, horny men are capable of unpredictable behavior. You can never know when intentions change on a dime.

 

THIS!

 

Theeeee worst.

[+ JEC]

THIS!

 

Theeeee worst.

Roger That @rogerG

[Strafe13]

Deposits of any kind are a no-no except for those extended sessions which are for an overnight, weekend, or trips.

I’ve only had one escort ask for a deposit in advance of a regular hour-long session, but he explained that he did so only for new clients because he’d been burned in the past. He was polite and receptive to my hesitation, however, and he then agreed to proceed without the deposit after speaking with me on the phone. (Id contacted him several weeks in advance of a planned visit to his city.) he never knew that I’d already decided that I would acquiesce to his request because other forum members had attested to his quality, and also because he’s friends with (and often works with) another excellent escort whom I’d seen a few times before. Although I don’t know this for sure, I suspect that he may have felt more comfortable with me because I mentioned his colleague and my participation as a forum member and reviewer. Perhaps he did his own due diligence on me based on that.

 

I understand why some escorts might prefer to receive payment at the beginning of a session. It’s been my personal experience, though, that those sessions have never been good, but not because the request caused tension or ruined the mood. It sucks to say this, but those escorts with whom I’ve met who’ve made such requests were typically of inferior quality. Conversely, the best escorts almost never ask for upfront payment. That’s been my personal experience, but it also seems to reflect the consensus of nearly all seasoned forum members for as far back as I can remember (well over a decade, at least). So, my rule is not to hassle over paying upfront when asked, but to simply go through with the session and then note that I’ll never hire that escort again unless he delivers a fantastic experience. To date, that’s never happened.

[harlow]

Use the search function the powers that be here provide!

 

From Noah Driver to as recently as JamesATL, there are some swindlers out there...

Came here looking for info on JamesAtl and saw Noah Driver's name....wow now I'm triggered! lol I never wanna see Noah again and now that I whats been said about James it's a hard pass for him too. Thanks @Oaktown for the heads up

[+ Steve yabsley]

I will not pay in advance or pay a deposit for a meeting or an O/N. And I don’t think I’ve lost any meetings (at least not ones I regret ?). With a guy I liked too much I did pay an advanced deposit once, and happily everything worked out. (he was traveling and I wanted him to change his schedule to accommodate mine and leave a city earlier than he had planned and get to his next planned stop a few days earlier - so it made sense to me to show some good faith and send him a deposit).

 

I will pay in advance for airfare/travel when I ask someone to travel to me. Note - I will pay for the ticket, not give $ to them to buy. And I must say, trusted regulars have generally paid for the travel themselves and I reimburse as soon as we get together (for travel as soon as we meet, pay for time at the end).

I agree for extended time a deposit may make sense, but you can Venmo $ when you meet as easily as ahead of time. As has been discussed, it’s a matter of trust, which is why I prefer to travel to him for a initial meetings and only after we have some mutual trust get him to travel to me.

 

as with many things, there is a range of options and a range of circumstances- no one right answer for all cases, but, ceteris paribus, be cautious.

 

steve