EFFEMINATE VS MASCULINE

[RyanDean]

my masculinity isn’t frail & I love all men

 

Get me that on a pink tshirt, @hypothetically!

I'd love to wear it to the gym.

Edited June 1, 2019 by RyanDean

[+ José Soplanucas]

When all is said and done this thread is basically a silly waste of time. There is NO absolute universal definition of masculine and feminine. These terms mean different things to different people and even different things to the same person at different times. I may look into a mirror and see myself as Mr. Mucho-Macho while the person standing next to me sees screaming faggot. People are what they are and so be it. Why must we try to define them?????

 

Isn't it sad that people our age and younger ever care about this? We are well into the XXI century, but dinosaurs never die.

[hypothetically]

Isn't it sad that people our age and younger ever care about this? We are well into the XXI century, but dinosaurs never die.

 

It’s disappointing, and then people my age are scolded for these ugly behavioral patterns but....who do you think we got it from? The generation of gays prior (who in all fairness had harsh reasons for creating these “identities”), but still.

[LaffingBear]

To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts?

C'mon, the answer is simple. Its the characteristics we use to perpetuate stereotypes. Those arbitrary values assigned to behaviors, so we can choose to validate our judgments.

 

If masculine is defined by brave, stalwart, muscled, hairy and baritone.... the most masculine thing I ever saw was a guy in drag who walked the pride parade in 4" spike heels... resulting in bloody feet.

[marylander1940]

There was a thread about a frequent poster who asked a closeted gay escort out for dinner after their session was over. The escort refused to go out with the client, he said that if seen with him in a public space everybody will know he's gay.

 

I'm not sure if the effeminate vs. masculine concept applies to that situation.

 

Once I was having lunch with a local Jewish escort and he introduced me to one of his friends who happened to be in the restaurant as his uncle Shlomo visiting from Miami...

[Gymowner]

Oh here we go with the politically correct crap. The moral authorities on virtue and righteousness. You like what you like. If you are a power bottom and not a top it is a preference. So should you chastise those in that case? Get over the PC bullshit guys

[adventurous old guy]

[adventurous old guy]

We're not all that binary. Unless we choose to be I guess. I'm really assertive, many would say aggressive. But shamelessly sentimental, the first to cry in a movie where something sad happens...or might happen. Have a gentle voice and am kind to animals, but am way proud of having my dick be the center of attention. Oh, and I like to cuddle both before and after I fuck the cum out of man.

 

Think in a binary frame of reference, that makes me androgynous. Super down with that!

Edited June 1, 2019 by adventurous old guy

[+ sync]

Neither flamboyance nor feigned masculinity are attractive to me, but I believe there should be room at the table for them.

[+ 5280Dane]

I tend to be attracted to masculinity but some effeminate characteristics are ok. A person’s personality can overcome a great deal. A super masculine guy that is a jerk is a turnoff, and even masc guys who can be campy queens turn me off. But a sweet, yet slightly effeminate man could be a turn on. I would not be considered super masc or effeminate but I can ride a horse, work cattle, change oil in a car, and later can cook a great meal, bake a pie, and sew a pillow over.

 

In the gay community the two are becoming more merged as guys may be a bit of both. I played competitive sports for years and the uber masculinity of football can be thrown by the wayside in gay flag football with all the campiness that goes on in light hearted fun. But in no way does it diminish the quality of athletics that you’ll see. For some of my friends who came to watch, it was a mini culture shock.

[+ 5280Dane]

Masculine. For me, that goes hand in hand with MUSCLE.

Some of the biggest queens I’ve met are muscular. And I know a straight bodybuilder who is fairly effeminate.

[+ 5280Dane]

To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts?

Wardrobe used to be a sign, but the metrosexual has put an end to that. I used to be one of the best dressed at work but now I give that title to a straight, former marine. Mannerisms aren’t even a giveaway anymore. I swear my gaydar was never great, but it’s just downright horrible now.

[TruthBTold]

I have thought about this question and while, of course, personal attraction depends on a lot of things (many of which have already been delineated). Those things are deeply personal and actually may change over time. However, I had to remind myself that one should respect everyone no matter what we think of their masculine v. feminine traits. I reminded myself that the beginning of the movement for self-respect of our community and the movement for our rights began mainly from marginalized people (drag queens and transgender people) at Stonewall. They were the ones that fought the police the first night and began the riots that lasted the next few days. Those people led to groups being organized to fight for our rights so we owe them a lot.

Edited June 2, 2019 by TruthBTold

[Skip]

I want to have sex with the Secret Service guy from Marylander's post!

[Skip]

The muscle comments are just wrong. We all know lots of muscle guys the redefine the idea of a nelly queen. What has happened is that the younger generation doesn't have to hide in the closet so all the "regular guy" gay guys are just going to work and coming home a God forbid, raising kids. Same with lesbians.

[Gymowner]

What is disturbing to me is the level of this generations actual "trying" to act like women. It's one thing when a guy is slightly less masculine than others and that's fine. It is almost sweet in nature and who wants to be around a bunch of hairy smelly gross dudes all the time. But when you go out and see each one of them say "bitch" to each other every other word or refer to one as "she" it is off putting. Wearing make up and walking like one is walking down a run way in Milan is an erection killer for sure.

 

It's also just as weird when you see muscular, older hairy guys in porn hyper masculinizing themselves with their butch antics. "Oh...fuck yeah... of fuck....yeah" (all in a guttural groaning sort of way) then see them in person and the lisps are all over the place. Huh?

 

In the heterosexual world ones way of being is usually second nature to them. Not something to prove. Our culture on the other hand "tries" to be one way or another. A lack of self identity maybe?

[MiamiLooker]

What is disturbing to me is the level of this generations actual "trying" to act like women. It's one thing when a guy is slightly less masculine than others and that's fine. It is almost sweet in nature and who wants to be around a bunch of hairy smelly gross dudes all the time. But when you go out and see each one of them say "bitch" to each other every other word or refer to one as "she" it is off putting. Wearing make up and walking like one is walking down a run way in Milan is an erection killer for sure.

 

It's also just as weird when you see muscular, older hairy guys in porn hyper masculinizing themselves with their butch antics. "Oh...fuck yeah... of fuck....yeah" (all in a guttural groaning sort of way) then see them in person and the lisps are all over the place. Huh?

 

In the heterosexual world ones way of being is usually second nature to them. Not something to prove. Our culture on the other hand "tries" to be one way or another. A lack of self identity maybe?

Affectation

[hypothetically]

What is disturbing to me is the level of this generations actual "trying" to act like women. It's one thing when a guy is slightly less masculine than others and that's fine. It is almost sweet in nature and who wants to be around a bunch of hairy smelly gross dudes all the time. But when you go out and see each one of them say "bitch" to each other every other word or refer to one as "she" it is off putting. Wearing make up and walking like one is walking down a run way in Milan is an erection killer for sure.

 

It's also just as weird when you see muscular, older hairy guys in porn hyper masculinizing themselves with their butch antics. "Oh...fuck yeah... of fuck....yeah" (all in a guttural groaning sort of way) then see them in person and the lisps are all over the place. Huh?

 

In the heterosexual world ones way of being is usually second nature to them. Not something to prove. Our culture on the other hand "tries" to be one way or another. A lack of self identity maybe?

 

You sound like a real peach.

[Nickf66]

My dad was a professor/coach at a small college while I was growing up. He was also in the Navy, very arrow-straight. My two older brothers were jocks, each going to military school and likewise straight-shooters. I knew when I was in grade school that I had the hots for men, but living in a testosterone world of bats and balls and rough and tumble, I learned early on to live an Oscar-worthy straight-appearing life. I came out in college, and I swear it took a ton of convincing family and friends that my true colors were lavender and pink. I finally had to move away. All my boyfriends, to-date, are as masculine-looking and acting as you’d ever find. The more rugged, sweaty and athletic they are, the better I like ‘em. Takes all kinds, does it not?

Edited June 3, 2019 by Nickf66

[Gymowner]

Hypo that's your opinion and you have a right to it I guess. I just know I am me. I dont have to try to "act" like any particular group to try to fit in.

[MrMattBig]

I definitely agree to an extent with what you mentioned about "trying", regarding both femininity and masculinity. Probably stems from the fact that our society is so judgemental and so binary, that we adopt sometimes certain tendencies of the crowd, consciously and unconsciously to identify with the group that seems more accepting of us. That's why this topic is so interesting to me. There's talk about oh this person is too effeminate for me or not masculine enough. Where is there room for someone to just be "normal"? If a person is not the right fit of femininity or masculinity for you, where's the talk of just saying "not sure if we would click"?

It's always a pressure of fitting a prototype of a level of masculinity, and that pressure can make certain individuals insecure enough to over emphasize one way or the other.

 

What is disturbing to me is the level of this generations actual "trying" to act like women. It's one thing when a guy is slightly less masculine than others and that's fine. It is almost sweet in nature and who wants to be around a bunch of hairy smelly gross dudes all the time. But when you go out and see each one of them say "bitch" to each other every other word or refer to one as "she" it is off putting. Wearing make up and walking like one is walking down a run way in Milan is an erection killer for sure.

 

It's also just as weird when you see muscular, older hairy guys in porn hyper masculinizing themselves with their butch antics. "Oh...fuck yeah... of fuck....yeah" (all in a guttural groaning sort of way) then see them in person and the lisps are all over the place. Huh?

 

In the heterosexual world ones way of being is usually second nature to them. Not something to prove. Our culture on the other hand "tries" to be one way or another. A lack of self identity maybe?

[mike carey]

Spot on @MrMattBig.

[Gymowner]

1000% agree matt. Awesome!!

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't particularly care and wish whether someone is masc or femme wasn't such a big deal. It's not just a preference. There's a prejudice. Otherwise the question wouldn't need to be asked, as I knew before reading the answers what they would look like.

 

Give me a femme guy who dances around his room naked and models gender neutral clothes (with an Instagram post saying "am I a boy or a girl? I am a man!" ) any day.

[marylander1940]

Here TV Naked Fame: Colton Ford & Blake Harper Help A Stranger

 

 

Test: Does Blake Harper sound effeminate? What about Colton Ford?