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EFFEMINATE VS MASCULINE


bendable2019
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Which do you prefer - effeminate or masculine escorts and why?

 

I prefer masculine gay men but like so many things in life that might be in the eyes of the beholder.

 

I knew a guy who worked for the Kerry campaign, he was closeted or so he thought... one day his superior tapped him in the shoulder and told him: "next week you'll be in charge of a gay fundraising". He also had sex with a Secret Service agent to after exchanging with him a few words knew he was gay.

 

He was slightly effeminate and was in denial, he thought his Southern accent was enough to hide it.

 

We each have our own preferences and routine/reasonable reasons. Loaded questions and "polls" like this do nobody any good.

 

Yes, we all have preferences and some guys are so handsome that we don't mind if they fit it or not. I must say I know so many guys in denial who just can't help their mannerism, most of them are homophobic.

Edited by marylander1940
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To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts? :)

All of that. Mannerisms and tone of voice, definitely. Also, confidence. And, yes, clothes as well. Facial and body hair, maybe.

 

There's so much that figures into it. But I think mannerisms and voice are the biggies.

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Masculine... I’m masculine myself...outside the bedroom. But I do like to be dominated in the bedroom. Even in porn I like there to be a dominant man and a sub, makes it much more enjoyable for me.

 

I really don't know if people assume I am one or the other. I always presumed I was effeminate or at least appeared so but a guy I worked with a long time told me that he did not even know I was gay until I brought it up (not one has anything to do with the other - except in our minds I guess.) However, on the other hand, I am versatile. I used to be an exclusive top. But now if I am going to bottom I want to be with someone who is going to be dominant and for me a dominant guy has to be fairly masculine - or my conception of it. In the end, it all is a fruitless exercise because there are guys that you might classify as "effeminate" who just top. You probably do not want them to top you.

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People are always surprised when I tell them I'm gay...some say they couldn't imagine I would be..others have a suspicion...I am a regular guy..just with good taste...handsome (true)..good body....nice speaking voice. However I do get looks from other gay men..gaydar (takes one to know one)..My good friends are mostly women...I'm in a 30 year relationship. My other half is taken for my father although we are very close in age.

I prefer very masculine men..extra hung...sometimes straight?...All depends on the situation I suppose.

Edited by thickornotatall
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I would ask myself the following question:

 

Do people assuming you're gay right after meeting you?

 

I'm shocked about how many effeminate guys who think they can pass as straight, as I pointed before most of them are slightly homophobic.

 

If you have good Gaydar:) BUT, I had a good friend of 30 years who knew me when I was married to a women -- (20 years w/ wife - 21 years with Husband) and this woman had lots of gay friends - literally a "Fag Hag" - when I came out to her, her response was "From this point forward, EVERY man is Gay until he proves he isn't!" .......... LOL!

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If you have good Gaydar:) BUT, I had a good friend of 30 years who knew me when I was married to a women -- (20 years w/ wife - 21 years with Husband) and this woman had lots of gay friends - literally a "Fag Hag" - when I came out to her, her response was "From this point forward, EVERY man is Gay until he proves he isn't!" .......... LOL!

 

Actually my gaydar is terrible I always assume guys are straight unless is just waaay obvious they're not.

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To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts? :)

 

you really dont know and have to ask that question?

 

no disrespect to you but thats kind of like asking "what characteristics identify someone as rich or poor"? ya just kinda know!

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you really dont know and have to ask that question?

 

no disrespect to you but thats kind of like asking "what characteristics identify someone as rich or poor"? ya just kinda know!

Was just trying to create some dialogue...

And it's interesting to consider does the absence of either confirm in truth the alternative?

Does not necessary masculine default to being effeminate?

Does not being effeminate default to being masculine?

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you really dont know and have to ask that question?

 

no disrespect to you but thats kind of like asking "what characteristics identify someone as rich or poor"? ya just kinda know!

 

Masculine. For me, that goes hand in hand with MUSCLE.

 

Not quite.

One of the replies insisted masculine goes hand-in-hand with muscle, which is not true. You can step into most gay environments and see that men dress and act the part of what they want to attract. While some are not as clockable as others, there is a gimmick to attracting a potential mate. And with so many “masc 4 masc” bros pushing their agenda because their masculinity is frail (which is a feminine quality btw), you now have effeminate men trying to blend...all for the sake of some penis. Some of the most muscular guys I know are undoubtedly the most feminine. I’ve also met straight men who sound like complete pansies. So.

 

 

Another example: you have some of the wealthiest men in the country that work in the tech industry in silicone valley walking around in Dockers and a Fruit of the Loom tee. Just because someone is not gaudy in their presentation and wears dingy clothes doesn’t mean they’re poor. It means they’re wise.

Edited by hypothetically
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you are over rationalizing human nature. "One of the replies insisted masculine goes hand-in-hand with muscle, which is not true." ummm....yes it does. now are there effeminate gays that life weights and get muscular..yes. thats outside of the norm. for our sake of discussion we all know whats what.

 

and mattbig... not overyone would we identify per say as masculine or feminine in trait. your question was what were the characteristics of each and i really still dont believe one has to ask that. we all know.

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