Consistent problem with escorts

[+ Coolwave35]

with all due respect for the OP's dilemma and the various point-counterpoint replies.............

 

 

Lol. Oh god is this dramatic????

[Spursy]

Of the last 6 escorts I hired, 3 I have flown to meet me. 4 I have had this issue with.

Maybe the ones you bought airfare for are overstaying their welcomes because they have little else to do before their departing flights. You suggested as much for the guy who stayed overnight. Doesn't explain the 4th, obviously.

 

Also, it sounds like you flew a guy to NYC. Out of genuine curiosity, why fly someone into NYC when there are so many delicious choices there?

[+ Coolwave35]

because we really clicked in his city when I was with him and I enjoy the familiar more than I enjoy shooting in the dark.

[rvwnsd]

Lol. Oh god is this dramatic????

It really is. And I just started reading the thread within the five minutes prior to starting to write this (9:15 PM PT)

 

I'll start by saying I am single. That does make my situation very different from yours. However, there have been times where an escort and I have spent "off the clock" time hanging out and it was fun. There have been other times where by the time I realized it was well past the time of being enjoyable we were so far in that it would have been awkward to abruptly cut the guy off.

 

When I've found myself in that situation I've waited for a good time to change the conversation and suggested we wrap things up. For example, I don't barge in mid-sentence and tell the guy to leave. When that doesn't work I say something to the effect of "I hate to cut you off but it is way-too-late o'clock and I really need to go." This also works when you are in your own hotel room. "Go" does not have to mean "leave." It can mean "I have other stuff to do (like being alone) and you need to leave." Perhaps it is my direct nature ( I get accused of yelling when using my normal conversational tone) but that usually ends it.

[+ goosh69]

Can never have too many friends.

Are people you pay REALLY your friends ?

Sidebar:

 

Shame on many of you guys for judging the OP.... hipocrites galore.

 

I find it funny how he can be judged for being married and having escorts on the side, but many of you are in these new-age open marriages and open relationships your damned selves....

 

Lots of stones being thrown from glass houses.

Guys on an escort site preaching morality and invoking God...SMH...

[MscleLovr]

I don’t consider this thread to constitute ‘drama’. I find the observations and comments highly interesting.

 

Thanks for replying at length @Coolwave35 Your additional posts helped me better understand the difficulty about which you posted originally.

[+ Coolwave35]

I don’t consider this thread to constitute ‘drama’. I find the observations and comments highly interesting.

 

Thanks for replying at length @Coolwave35 Your additional posts helped me better understand the difficulty about which you posted originally.

 

I expect escorts to continue to be a prominent part of my life, so getting it right is very important to me. I appreciate all the insight I got from more experienced men.

[30somethingsexybear]

Do you mind sharing the “gold nugget” that made them stay? Money?

being 33 is probably helpful

[marylander1940]

I expect escorts to continue to be a prominent part of my life, so getting it right is very important to me. I appreciate all the insight I got from more experienced men.

 

Good for you! Just make sure to tell them up front that you’re not available for anything else than a regular client if you guys click.

[LivingnLA]

In this particular case, I know his real name, age, former profession, youtube channel, real facebook profile, all things I can honestly say I'm not interested in. Was it fun to have a hot guys attention in a decent NYC hotel room for a couple hours, yeah, but it ruined the sexual fantasy that he had been able to deliver when he was just an escort flown in for pleasure.

 

Of the last 6 escorts I hired, 3 I have flown to meet me. 4 I have had this issue with.

 

The reason it is a problem too is that it is making repeat business harder because it isn't just sex.

 

Four times suggests the issues are with you, your behavior, and how you communicate. Or perhaps you seek out a particular type of personality that leans toward attachment/neediness or the fantasy scenario you want fosters it. As many have said, you are in the power position. You have the money. You flew them in. You hold all the cards. Any professional relationship requires clear and consistent communication. It seems as though you have it in your marriage. Work on it in your escort relationships. They're human beings and you're asking for things that involve emotions. It sometimes gets complicated and messy. It also requires that you maintain clear firm boundaries. You mentioned that you hire younger guys, so it's highly likely they aren't well developed professionally. They don't have all the emotional/social skills and experience to keep things clear and crisp. As others have said, it takes two to tango. Do your part to maintain and reinforce the boundaries. Just don't be a dick about it.

Edited May 21, 2019 by LivingnLA

[Cali_Otter]

This is such an interesting topic! I have got to say that I was not even aware of this, and it almost always seems on my end that my clients want more time with me.

 

I have never asked for less money for my time, as the OP said the escort in his story did. I would have expected that if I was physically in the room, that I am on the clock. My time is my most precious resource, and once it’s gone, that’s it! My time deserves it’s appropriate rate even if it’s filled with conversation only.

 

I also have a great respect for the person’s finances who is hiring me. I understand and empathize with financial domination effects of client-escort relationships as well. I am always appreciative of the time and financial expenses of my client.

 

I am a good conversationalist, and I encourage clients reaching out to me to be direct with their intentions. For example: I would be devastated if I found out I was the escort that thought he was helping the OP, but made the situation not the best in the end. Since he tried to tell the escort he wanted to pay for all of it, and the escort did not accept the communication, the problem can be summarized as miscommunication.

 

Since the topic is now something I’ll actively think about, I will now make sure I am paying closer attention to communications like this. Thank you all for your thoughts, experiences, and insight!

[hypothetically]

I need a little advice. I'm married and enjoy escorts when I travel. I often pay for extended hours, but never do an overnight.

 

Recently I've been hitting it off and flying repeat hires out to meet me. I'm doing this for the sex, the experience etc, but NOT the companionship and friendship as I'm not available for that. I'm 33, and hire guys 25-35. We have great sex, but then there is this awkward friendship that forms that I'm not looking for, often perpetuated by the professional.

 

Last night, a 3 hour romp in NYC led to an all nighter where we just stayed up talking, and switched the dynamic. It made payment awkward as he insisted he "punched out" after the 3 hours, and the other 8 were off the clock because he liked the company and enjoyed the conversation.

 

Anyone have any advice on discouraging this type of relationship change? I'm hiring professionals so I don't have to have the mess of emotions, or friend with benefit situation.

 

I hope I'm explaining this well.

 

One, thank you for elaborating (rather thoroughly) about your relationship with your husband to give us all a little perspective as to what’s going on, why you indulge and why it is becoming an issue.

 

I was waiting for a topic like this to emerge, as it is seldom discussed. I am in my early 30s and find I am increasingly being hired by guys my age who are married or simply do not have the temperament nor patience to play the game of Tetris that is Grindr/Scruff. It has turned into “punching out,” dating and socializing outside of the confines of a transaction, none of which I can say are productive or warrant a healthy “friendship,” as genuinely interesting as one party may find another.

 

While it is inevitable as you are a 30-something hiring someone your age, it is your responsibility just as much as it is the escorts to say “end scene.” Maybe more so yours. Discipline. The only advice I can give to you is to axe any re-hires developing into anything outside the confines of a transaction, as difficult as that may be. It will continue to happen and will often times be perpetuated by the professional because there is an unfamiliar allure, and that allure is someone your age hiring you.. and it does not at all feel like a transaction. And a professional who has not had the opportunity to sit through your eloquent elaboration of where your marriage stands doesn’t give a shit about what you want lol. Hell, if you did elaborate he probably wouldn’t give a shit. Emotions get involved, even if one-sided and it has the potential to get very messy. I apologize if that sounds ominous but you really need to stick to your guns and pull out (no pun intended)

when you see anything developing.

 

Few escorts our age (if any at all) are going to say “hey, I respect the boundaries you have set and I am going to leave now” if they enjoy you. Especially considering the current dating landscape in big cities like NYC. I’m not at all shocked that happen in NYC because young men are eager for companionship, so much so they are willing to dock their hourly rate for it.

[hypothetically]

I need a little advice. I'm married and enjoy escorts when I travel. I often pay for extended hours, but never do an overnight.

 

Recently I've been hitting it off and flying repeat hires out to meet me. I'm doing this for the sex, the experience etc, but NOT the companionship and friendship as I'm not available for that. I'm 33, and hire guys 25-35. We have great sex, but then there is this awkward friendship that forms that I'm not looking for, often perpetuated by the professional.

 

Last night, a 3 hour romp in NYC led to an all nighter where we just stayed up talking, and switched the dynamic. It made payment awkward as he insisted he "punched out" after the 3 hours, and the other 8 were off the clock because he liked the company and enjoyed the conversation.

 

Anyone have any advice on discouraging this type of relationship change? I'm hiring professionals so I don't have to have the mess of emotions, or friend with benefit situation.

 

I hope I'm explaining this well.

 

One, thank you for elaborating (rather thoroughly) about your relationship with your husband to give us all a little perspective as to what’s going on, why you indulge and why it is becoming an issue.

 

I was waiting for a topic like this to emerge, as it is seldom discussed. I am in my early 30s and find I am increasingly being hired by guys my age who are married or simply do not have the temperament nor patience to play the game of Tetris that is Grindr/Scruff. It has turned into “punching out,” dating and socializing outside of the confines of a transaction, none of which I can say are productive or warrant a healthy “friendship,” as genuinely interesting as one party may find another.

 

While it is inevitable as you are a 30-something hiring someone your age, it is your responsibility just as much as it is the escorts to say “end scene.” Maybe more so yours. Discipline. The only advice I can give to you is to axe any re-hires developing into anything outside the confines of a transaction, as difficult as that may be. It will continue to happen and will often times be perpetuated by the professional because there is an unfamiliar allure, and that allure is someone your age hiring you.. and it does not at all feel like a transaction. And a professional who has not had the opportunity to sit through your eloquent elaboration of where your marriage stands doesn’t give a shit about what you want lol. Hell, if you did elaborate he probably wouldn’t give a shit. Emotions get involved, even if one-sided and it has the potential to get very messy. I apologize if that sounds ominous but you really need to stick to your guns and pull out (no pun intended)

when you see anything developing.

 

Few escorts our age (if any at all) are going to say “hey, I respect the boundaries you have set and I am going to leave now” if they enjoy you. Especially considering the current dating landscape in big cities like NYC. I’m not at all shocked that happen in NYC because young men are eager for companionship, so much so they are willing to dock their hourly rate for it.

[+ JEC]

Respectfully, this "dynamic" would not develop unless you help create the environment for it. If it's an "all business" transaction, then it will be all business. It's like flirting, nothing happens if you don't flirt back. If you talk, open up, be vulnerable, that will invite same. If you see someone for repeats, it's hard to be 100% business, but you can still keep it light and lively without going deeper. Enjoy the attention, and don't lay it all on the other guy

[+ JEC]

Respectfully, this "dynamic" would not develop unless you help create the environment for it. If it's an "all business" transaction, then it will be all business. It's like flirting, nothing happens if you don't flirt back. If you talk, open up, be vulnerable, that will invite same. If you see someone for repeats, it's hard to be 100% business, but you can still keep it light and lively without going deeper. Enjoy the attention, and don't lay it all on the other guy

[+ Coolwave35]

Respectfully, this "dynamic" would not develop unless you help create the environment for it. If it's an "all business" transaction, then it will be all business. It's like flirting, nothing happens if you don't flirt back. If you talk, open up, be vulnerable, that will invite same. If you see someone for repeats, it's hard to be 100% business, but you can still keep it light and lively without going deeper. Enjoy the attention, and don't lay it all on the other guy

 

I didn’t set out to lay it on the escorts feet at all, and the intention of this post was to correct what I’m doing wrong. We actually realized as the sun was rising, long after dinner and well beyond when I should have left that we fucked up the transactional nature of the experience.

 

As I said earlier, I expected him to pull the plug and ask me to leave at the end of our pre agreed time, but I see now that it is equally if not more my responsibility to stop when it’s done to avoid this. At least Walmart makes an announcement at closing to get you the hell out lol.

 

I’m itching to rehire and apply all I’ve learned here.

[+ Coolwave35]

Respectfully, this "dynamic" would not develop unless you help create the environment for it. If it's an "all business" transaction, then it will be all business. It's like flirting, nothing happens if you don't flirt back. If you talk, open up, be vulnerable, that will invite same. If you see someone for repeats, it's hard to be 100% business, but you can still keep it light and lively without going deeper. Enjoy the attention, and don't lay it all on the other guy

 

I didn’t set out to lay it on the escorts feet at all, and the intention of this post was to correct what I’m doing wrong. We actually realized as the sun was rising, long after dinner and well beyond when I should have left that we fucked up the transactional nature of the experience.

 

As I said earlier, I expected him to pull the plug and ask me to leave at the end of our pre agreed time, but I see now that it is equally if not more my responsibility to stop when it’s done to avoid this. At least Walmart makes an announcement at closing to get you the hell out lol.

 

I’m itching to rehire and apply all I’ve learned here.

[+ azdr0710]

the intention of this post was to correct what I’m doing wrong.

 

I’m itching to rehire and apply all I’ve learned here.

 

65 posts and we're still debating this???......

 

keep track of the time and politely shut down the meet at the appointed hour!!....is it really that complicated???.....

Edited May 22, 2019 by azdr0710

[+ goosh69]

One, thank you for elaborating (rather thoroughly) about your relationship with your husband to give us all a little perspective as to what’s going on, why you indulge and why it is becoming an issue.

 

I was waiting for a topic like this to emerge, as it is seldom discussed. I am in my early 30s and find I am increasingly being hired by guys my age who are married or simply do not have the temperament nor patience to play the game of Tetris that is Grindr/Scruff. It has turned into “punching out,” dating and socializing outside of the confines of a transaction, none of which I can say are productive or warrant a healthy “friendship,” as genuinely interesting as one party may find another.

 

While it is inevitable as you are a 30-something hiring someone your age, it is your responsibility just as much as it is the escorts to say “end scene.” Maybe more so yours. Discipline. The only advice I can give to you is to axe any re-hires developing into anything outside the confines of a transaction, as difficult as that may be. It will continue to happen and will often times be perpetuated by the professional because there is an unfamiliar allure, and that allure is someone your age hiring you.. and it does not at all feel like a transaction. And a professional who has not had the opportunity to sit through your eloquent elaboration of where your marriage stands doesn’t give a shit about what you want lol. Hell, if you did elaborate he probably wouldn’t give a shit. Emotions get involved, even if one-sided and it has the potential to get very messy. I apologize if that sounds ominous but you really need to stick to your guns and pull out (no pun intended)

when you see anything developing.

 

Few escorts our age (if any at all) are going to say “hey, I respect the boundaries you have set and I am going to leave now” if they enjoy you. Especially considering the current dating landscape in big cities like NYC. I’m not at all shocked that happen in NYC because young men are eager for companionship, so much so they are willing to dock their hourly rate for it.

I LITERALLY say “end scene” or “....and...CUT!!!” Literally.

[hypothetically]

65 posts and we're still debating this???......

 

keep track of the time and politely shut down the meet at the appointed time!!....is it really that complicated???.....

 

Lol we’ve watched more pages unfold on worse topics, I assure you.

[+ SundayZip]

Hey Coolwave35, If I'm understanding you correctly, the problem is not that a friendship is developing between you and the escorts. The problem is you don't want to know them as real people. As you say, it ruins the fantasy. Why don't you just come out and tell them that? Tell them that a connection beyond sexual, ruins the fantasy for you. My guess is that it would kill any developing friendship and the escorts will do what they can to maintain the fantasy. Remember: their primary reason for being with you is money. Any friendship with you is secondary. Other than that, I can't help you bud. I happen to love getting to know people and learning who they are. Fantasy is not my thing.

[Gadfly22]

I need a little advice too. I have a problem. I hope you guys can help me.

I love hiring escorts but all the boys I hire tell me my penis is too big.

I don't know what to do :(

Please help! Any advice appreciated!

Just itching to apply all I learn here!

[+ FrankR]

I need a little advice too. I have a problem. I hope you guys can help me.

I love hiring escorts but all the boys I hire tell me my penis is too big.

I don't know what to do :(

Please help! Any advice appreciated!

Just itching to apply all I learn here!

I suspect you are hiring the wrong type of escort. Forget the young and inexperienced ‘boy’ type - go for the older and mature ‘men’!

 

On the bright side, i am sure there is a circus out there looking for a circus freak - you are set for life!!! ?

 

(I assume that you are being true to your name, which is why I am making fun of your “question”... ?)

[marylander1940]

I need a little advice too. I have a problem. I hope you guys can help me.

I love hiring escorts but all the boys I hire tell me my penis is too big.

I don't know what to do :(

Please help! Any advice appreciated!

Just itching to apply all I learn here!

 

Plenty of power bottoms out there!

 

Send a pic of your cock next to a remote control and ask them: Can you take it long and hard?

[marylander1940]

Lol we’ve watched more pages unfold on worse topics, I assure you.

 

If you're not interested in a thread don't post or you'll be bumping it.