Red flags and alarm bells galore

[Wolfer]

"Hey, you can help me out with that. Send my money in your name back home to my account in Colombia."

I cocked my head as I put down the drink he'd bought me.

 

Just a couple of days ago I'd had a nice session with him. He was sweet and a bit talkative. But something was a little off. During our post-coitus (excuse my verbiage) conversation I wondered a couple of times "Did he just call me ugly?". Which, obviously he didn't, he wouldn't, of course...

The sex itself, while nice, almost felt like a broadway show production: entertaining but vapid and rehearsed.

But then he invited me to spend time off the clock on Saturday and go to a big gay party together. One of the biggest in Belgium (almost 8000 attendies). And I agreed because I was really attracted to him and I thought it would be nice to spend some more time with him.

 

"You can drive me to my dealer!"

Saturday night had come 'round and I was in Brussels by car. A slight frown formed on my face. Why had he invited me exactly?

Since driving into the city center of Brussels requires nerve, skill and steel resolve in such amounts that I lack, I declined. He got annoyed with me but I did show him where the meetup spot was in Brussels and walked with him there and back.

 

"Oooh, I'm gonna get so high for the party, you take care of me okay?"

I sat on the bed in his hotel room. Taking note that he was not sitting next to me, but all the way on the other side of the room in the only chair available.

And then something started dawning on me: he just wants a chaperone. He has no other interest in me.

While this realization set in I could hear the water spurts from him douching in the bathroom, ready to get fucked by any other guy besides me. I felt like my self-respect was going down the drain along with his poop-water.

I did promise to drive him to the party. I did promise to go together. But... Did I really want to spend hours watching him working the room while I... Just felt left out?

I didn't.

I hadn't made any plans with my friends but I knew some of them were gonna be at the party so I texted them.

When the guy came out of the bathroom I told him: "I'm sorry I misunderstood. I thought you invited me for other reasons. So I'll still drive you to the party like I promised but once there I'm meeting up with my friends."

The room went freezing cold.

"Oh, well, I'm still gonna do my hair so you can leave now." His voice could cut steel. And that was that, suddenly I had turned invisible. He didn't even acknowledge I was there and was completely unresponsive as I said "Bye, have fun!" as I left the room.

 

I thought about going home but I decided to go to the party anyway and have a blast. We do create our own experiences, after all. I met up with my friends and had a load of fun.

 

That was quite... the experience. The guy was a player. As long as he got what he wanted he was sweet as vanilla ice cream but if you denied a request fire would flash across his eyes.

I'm happy I spoke up. I have been in situations like this before where I said nothing and allowed myself to be run over completely. Well, seems like experience is finally teaching me something.

[Jeffster]

"Hey, you can help me out with that. Send my money in your name back home to my account in Colombia."

I cocked my head as I put down the drink he'd bought me.

 

Just a couple of days ago I'd had a nice session with him. He was sweet and a bit talkative. But something was a little off. During our post-coitus (excuse my verbiage) conversation I wondered a couple of times "Did he just call me ugly?". Which, obviously he didn't, he wouldn't, of course...

The sex itself, while nice, almost felt like a broadway show production: entertaining but vapid and rehearsed.

But then he invited me to spend time off the clock on Saturday and go to a big gay party together. One of the biggest in Belgium (almost 8000 attendies). And I agreed because I was really attracted to him and I thought it would be nice to spend some more time with him.

 

"You can drive me to my dealer!"

Saturday night had come 'round and I was in Brussels by car. A slight frown formed on my face. Why had he invited me exactly?

Since driving into the city center of Brussels requires nerve, skill and steel resolve in such amounts that I lack, I declined. He got annoyed with me but I did show him where the meetup spot was in Brussels and walked with him there and back.

 

"Oooh, I'm gonna get so high for the party, you take care of me okay?"

I sat on the bed in his hotel room. Taking note that he was not sitting next to me, but all the way on the other side of the room in the only chair available.

And then something started dawning on me: he just wants a chaperone. He has no other interest in me.

While this realization set in I could hear the water spurts from him douching in the bathroom, ready to get fucked by any other guy besides me. I felt like my self-respect was going down the drain along with his poop-water.

I did promise to drive him to the party. I did promise to go together. But... Did I really want to spend hours watching him working the room while I... Just felt left out?

I didn't.

I hadn't made any plans with my friends but I knew some of them were gonna be at the party so I texted them.

When the guy came out of the bathroom I told him: "I'm sorry I misunderstood. I thought you invited me for other reasons. So I'll still drive you to the party like I promised but once there I'm meeting up with my friends."

The room went freezing cold.

"Oh, well, I'm still gonna do my hair so you can leave now." His voice could cut steel. And that was that, suddenly I had turned invisible. He didn't even acknowledge I was there and was completely unresponsive as I said "Bye, have fun!" as I left the room.

 

I thought about going home but I decided to go to the party anyway and have a blast. We do create our own experiences, after all. I met up with my friends and had a load of fun.

 

That was quite... the experience. The guy was a player. As long as he got what he wanted he was sweet as vanilla ice cream but if you denied a request fire would flash across his eyes.

I'm happy I spoke up. I have been in situations like this before where I said nothing and allowed myself to be run over completely. Well, seems like experience is finally teaching me something.

 

OK...a hooker used you when you thought he was your “friend.”

 

Shocker.

 

What’s your point?

[hypothetically]

Ugh, where is the “poor storytelling” section of the forum when you need it.

[Gymowner]

i cant believe how grown adult men get caught up constantly thinking (or hoping) that a very attractive male escort will become best of friends or better yet, having the notion that the said hooker will hopelessly fall in love with the old guzzard and live happily ever after. its unbelievable to me.

 

this is a business transaction. not a bad thing at all. keep it that way and no one gets emotionally hurt.

 

case in point. there is a newer dancer at one of the clubs where i live. big muscle guy. handsome but after chatting with him a few times can tell he is somewhat of a wild guy. not bad just young with that sort of energy that when not focused can be dangerous. i chat with him and give him a few bucks now and then yet he seems to always say or do something that is off putting to me. so i go a few weeks ignoring him and it drives him nuts. well last night he comes up to me and asks how i am. i told him i have been having some health issues lately. he looks at me and says "lets talk about it when i get done with my next set in 30 minutes". ok i thought. the nice side comes out. so i eventually go over to give him a few bucks while on the box dancing as a nice gesture to his kind words. first thing out of his mouth when he bends over is "yeah..i knew you couldnt stay away from all this hotness for long". he wasnt saying it with any kind of brevity. more like a "i got you you fag...no one can stay away from this hot straight guy" type of talk. fine in the bedroom but not at all appropriate where it was being said. i was putting my second dollar in his g string when he said this. right at that moment i not only stopped putting the second dollar in there, i took the first one out. i looked up at him and said " the smile is nice, work on the muscles getting harder and the big mouth has to go for sure".

 

guys...you have to always remember... these guys have what you WANT but more importantly we have what they NEED. keep this in mind and you will have very little problems.

[Floridasexman]

i cant believe how grown adult men get caught up constantly thinking (or hoping) that a very attractive male escort will become best of friends or better yet, having the notion that the said hooker will hopelessly fall in love with the old guzzard and live happily ever after. its unbelievable to me.

 

this is a business transaction. not a bad thing at all. keep it that way and no one gets emotionally hurt.

 

case in point. there is a newer dancer at one of the clubs where i live. big muscle guy. handsome but after chatting with him a few times can tell he is somewhat of a wild guy. not bad just young with that sort of energy that when not focused can be dangerous. i chat with him and give him a few bucks now and then yet he seems to always say or do something that is off putting to me. so i go a few weeks ignoring him and it drives him nuts. well last night he comes up to me and asks how i am. i told him i have been having some health issues lately. he looks at me and says "lets talk about it when i get done with my next set in 30 minutes". ok i thought. the nice side comes out. so i eventually go over to give him a few bucks while on the box dancing as a nice gesture to his kind words. first thing out of his mouth when he bends over is "yeah..i knew you couldnt stay away from all this hotness for long". he wasnt saying it with any kind of brevity. more like a "i got you you fag...no one can stay away from this hot straight guy" type of talk. fine in the bedroom but not at all appropriate where it was being said. i was putting my second dollar in his g string when he said this. right at that moment i not only stopped putting the second dollar in there, i took the first one out. i looked up at him and said " the smile is nice, work on the muscles getting harder and the big mouth has to go for sure".

 

guys...you have to always remember... these guys have what you WANT but more importantly we have what they NEED. keep this in mind and you will have very little problems.

So very true. Just went through a tough "learning" experience. Now the provider has contacted me again. I'm trying to decide weather to respond or completely ignore him. In this case he really does NEED what I have.

[Wolfer]

What’s your point?

Does there need to be a point? I come here to share my experiences. Not sure I see a problem here?

 

i cant believe how grown adult men get caught up constantly thinking (or hoping) that a very attractive male escort will become best of friends or better yet, having the notion that the said hooker will hopelessly fall in love with the old guzzard and live happily ever after. its unbelievable to me.

Well, we fall for it because we want it to be true. And it's not just grown men falling for hookers. It's women who fall for fuckboy shenanigans. It's gays who fall for player's manipulations. It's innocent people who walk wide-eyed into con-men's schemes.

We fall for it because we hope that "this one will be different".

People want to be fooled, to a certain degree, because why would we even want to hire in the first place?

 

Such colorful responses. I was under the impression we could share our experiences here, even if there is no practical purpose to the sharing itself. Perhaps others have different views on this. Well, it makes the world go round.

[steed8]

So very true. Just went through a tough "learning" experience. Now the provider has contacted me again. I'm trying to decide weather to respond or completely ignore him. In this case he really does NEED what I have.

 

You already know the answer to stick to your guns!

[BluDay]

i cant believe how grown adult men get caught up constantly thinking (or hoping) that a very attractive male escort will become best of friends or better yet, having the notion that the said hooker will hopelessly fall in love with the old guzzard and live happily ever after. its unbelievable to me.

 

this is a business transaction. not a bad thing at all. keep it that way and no one gets emotionally hurt.

 

I do hope - but I'm not foolish enough to expect it.

 

It is not a hope in total vain, there are many providers who are just great people, and can establish a good connection/friendship with an "old guzzard". The fact it is a business transaction makes it harder to determine a read friendship. Your dancer hasn't learned his lesson that tells him to keep the client happy.

 

I actually think the ones who keep in mind it's business until they both realize they just like each other (even if just as dinner friends) have the strongest connections.

[Gymowner]

wolfer you said it perfectly!

[Gymowner]

So very true. Just went through a tough "learning" experience. Now the provider has contacted me again. I'm trying to decide weather to respond or completely ignore him. In this case he really does NEED what I have.

 

just make sure you keep it on a business level and you should bo ok. guys...im not saying to be still and unfealing with the escort. on the contrary! the time you spend with the escort should be warm and to your needs for that time. to "hope" it goes beyond anything but this is the foolish part. as wolfer said above, many people in many situations fool themselves and get taken advantage of.

[Floridasexman]

You already know the answer to stick to your guns!

This is new to me. I was clearly taken advantage of both financially and emotionally. My bank account is good and I will heal. But now if I publish a review it will have a great adverse impact on his client base. Which in turn will place him in an untenable finanial situation, perhaps losing apt etc. This is something I just do not want to do. Best thing I just walk away with a lesspn learned.

[sincitymix]

Does there need to be a point? I come here to share my experiences. Not sure I see a problem here?

 

Well, we fall for it because we want it to be true. And it's not just grown men falling for hookers. It's women who fall for fuckboy shenanigans. It's gays who fall for player's manipulations. It's innocent people who walk wide-eyed into con-men's schemes.

We fall for it because we hope that "this one will be different".

People want to be fooled, to a certain degree, because why would we even want to hire in the first place?

 

Such colorful responses. I was under the impression we could share our experiences here, even if there is no practical purpose to the sharing itself. Perhaps others have different views on this. Well, it makes the world go round.

Yeah it happens in real relationships too.. I just got out of one too.. like you said.. sweet as vanilla when he wants something, pays you attention all out.. second he got what he wanted it was ignore city until he needed something else.

[BostonTom]

Yeah, I don't know why people would want to diss you just for working through your experience on the message board. Seems to me that's what it's for, right? Sorry it went south for you, but lesson learned, etc. We've all had similar moments.

[Gymowner]

Tom it seems to be very prevalent on these boards that many many gay men fawn over their "muscle gods" to a point that if they saw the "muscle god" shoot someone in the head they would justify a reason for it since their beauty clouds all sanity. We see it over and over here.

 

I wouldn't say it is a "diss" as much as it's a wake up call. When you hear the same thing over and over it gets kinda crazy. If one guy on here can snap into sanity just when one of these "muscle gods" is ready to go in for the kill and stop him in his tracks, then all will be worth it.

[Jeffster]

Yeah, I don't know why people would want to diss you just for working through your experience on the message board. Seems to me that's what it's for, right? Sorry it went south for you, but lesson learned, etc. We've all had similar moments.

 

Lighten up, Francis. Way too many fragile egos around here.

 

I can see why the OP got taken advantage of when even a single adverse response to his post can turn him into a “victim.”

[+ SundayZip]

Thanks for sharing your experience with us @Wolfer . I've been in your shoes -- not exactly the same situation, but certainly the same dynamic. I think (hope) I'm wiser now, but it's helpful to be reminded that when the libido is involved, expectations can easily outpace reality.

[+ E.T.Bass]

"You can drive me to my dealer?"

 

Sounds like you had quite an interesting experience. Thank you for sharing it.

 

My take on this is you saw and heard everything you needed to. I'm relieved the story had a happy ending with real friends.

[ScottyTX100]

Wow. The guy sounds like a real prince. Sorry you had that experience.

[BostonTom]

Lighten up, Francis. Way too many fragile egos around here.

 

I can see why the OP got taken advantage of when even a single adverse response to his post can turn him into a “victim.”

Troll alert!

[BostonTom]

Tom it seems to be very prevalent on these boards that many many gay men fawn over their "muscle gods" to a point that if they saw the "muscle god" shoot someone in the head they would justify a reason for it since their beauty clouds all sanity. We see it over and over here.

 

I wouldn't say it is a "diss" as much as it's a wake up call. When you hear the same thing over and over it gets kinda crazy. If one guy on here can snap into sanity just when one of these "muscle gods" is ready to go in for the kill and stop him in his tracks, then all will be worth it.

 

Sure, but wasn't this guy's last line "Maybe experience is finally teaching me something"? The only things more common than his story, I'd argue, are the nasty swipes taken at the foibles of other gay men on this board . . .

[rvwnsd]

"Hey, you can help me out with that. Send my money in your name back home to my account in Colombia."

I cocked my head as I put down the drink he'd bought me....

 

I've read this a couple of times and am still confused. Where in the chronology did the request to send money to Colombia occur?

 

 

 

"You can drive me to my dealer!"...

 

Was this the night of the party or the night of the other appointment?

[Gymowner]

Everyone needs to wake up, stop thinking with the little head and please stop calling and thinking of these guys as any sort of "gods" whatsoever. Please stop that! Most of the guys hiring are far more successful, have led far more interesting lives and need to start acting and thinking like the status of people they are. Thinking anyone is a "god" creates the thought process that that person is far inferior than the one that is a "god". Man what a lousy way to think or live. Which leads to this sort of manipulation and taking advantage of. Who is more at fault? The one doing the taking advantage of or the one allowing this to happen? Guys.... most on here have really big things to deal with and have accomplished in life to let such a trivial thing like getting off or needing false friendships with a young good looking guy to even be having such discussions. Once in awhile companionship...sure. think about this guys! Noone is putting anyone down here but damn, wake up men!

 

Again....they have what we WANT. We have what they NEED. Who do you think is in control and holding all the cards? Alot of bad poker players here I'm afraid.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Gymowner

[MassageAdam]

Does there need to be a point? I come here to share my experiences. Not sure I see a problem here?

 

Well, we fall for it because we want it to be true. And it's not just grown men falling for hookers. It's women who fall for fuckboy shenanigans. It's gays who fall for player's manipulations. It's innocent people who walk wide-eyed into con-men's schemes.

We fall for it because we hope that "this one will be different".

People want to be fooled, to a certain degree, because why would we even want to hire in the first place?

 

Such colorful responses. I was under the impression we could share our experiences here, even if there is no practical purpose to the sharing itself. Perhaps others have different views on this. Well, it makes the world go round.

I understand what you are saying, been there. I don't get why people need to give asshole responses after you share your story. I haven't done it with hookers, but with a trainer, with a guy I had a crush on, and a lover. All happened in one year, but all had money problems and I helped them out to be kind (with a little bit of hoping they liked me back), but I also put out the expectation they would pay me back if I lent them money. Never got a cent back from any of them. One of them even keeps trying, and won't take no for an answer. I'm sorry for your experience, it sucks.

[Wolfer]

I've read this a couple of times and am still confused. Where in the chronology did the request to send money to Colombia occur?

"You can drive me to my dealer"

Was this the night of the party or the night of the other appointment?

Both quotes were from the night of the party (so the second time we met). The request to transfer money was made when he bought me a drink at the bar in his hotel, just before we were to get ready for the party. It was in his hotel room that he said I could drive him to his dealer.

If he'd said any of that the first time I would not have met up with him for a second time.

 

Thank you for the kind words all!

[Tonyko]

Hey, we've all seen those old movies with the 60yo fat bald rich guy producer with the showgirl on his lap twirling what's left of his hair saying his head is cute and his pot tummy is adorable etc thinking only in old movies are men naive enough to actually fall for that. NOT. When a beautiful 20-something dude on my lap (for 20$ and length of one song) fawns over ME I find myself rationalizing and thinking I believe what he's saying after all I'm only in my 40's and stay in hard shape I"M different. (not) As Addison DeWitt said we're all brought into this world with our own individual little egos. When a gorgeous young muscleboi sidles up to me or a hire wants to be my "friend" I must fight to remember he's getting PAID, he wants to get paid MORE, he's STR8, Chris Hemsworth is no hotter than Christopher Plummer BECAUSE he's str8, and (no matter how sincere and believable he seems or how much I want to believe him) he's WORKING. That doesn't mean be mean to him or call him on his BS or that he's a bad person. It just means that when dealing with working boys we have to imagine we're in Hooters and he's the waitress who says I'm so glad you guys came in my other tables are all trolls you're like my cool table:rolleyes:

Edited October 30, 2018 by Tonyko