Being hustled....?

[Poincare]

I’m being hustled and need to stop.....has it happened to you?

 

I met with a drop dead gorgeous escort not let no ago. Had an incredible few hours to the point that I have taken him on a few trips now too.

 

They were perfect BFES....and he was a witty gentleman, great in the sack, cuddling, great conversation....

 

Now for the problem....he always seems to have money problems. I’ve given him about 5k just to help him get through his recurrent money issues....there’s always a great story attached to it.

 

I know I’m being hustled for the money and he knows I can’t say no, so he keeps asking and I keep giving.

 

I’m lucky to have plenty of money, but I’m feeling like a total tool. Tonight was the last straw....

 

Time to say goodbye....

[+ purplekow]

To him or the world?

[+ Bullakaun]

Hey @Poincare, I've been through that many times too just for being too generous. Yes, you need to stick to that goodbye coz clearly the loser sees you as a cashcow. Don't let people abuse the privilege you granted them.

[+ tassojunior]

I have something somewhat similar. As crude as it may seem I always insisted on paying cash for the "date" during the first year knowing that with all the trips and nights over it would get expensive as a "lover" (he's out of town). So now he's got a gf and a kid and needs a lot and I remind him cash from me is in multiples of $xxx on the nightstand in the morning.

[BabyBoomer]

he always seems to have money problems.

 

Have you considered a drug and / or gambling problem?

 

~Boomer~

[GTMike]

I’m being hustled and need to stop.....has it happened to you?

 

I met with a drop dead gorgeous escort not let no ago. Had an incredible few hours to the point that I have taken him on a few trips now too.

 

They were perfect BFES....and he was a witty gentleman, great in the sack, cuddling, great conversation....

 

Now for the problem....he always seems to have money problems. I’ve given him about 5k just to help him get through his recurrent money issues....there’s always a great story attached to it.

 

I know I’m being hustled for the money and he knows I can’t say no, so he keeps asking and I keep giving.

 

I’m lucky to have plenty of money, but I’m feeling like a total tool. Tonight was the last straw....

 

Time to say goodbye....

I hate to ask but do you suspect he has a similar, "song and dance" with a few more clients at the same time as well?

[+ FrankR]

I’m being hustled and need to stop.....has it happened to you?

 

I met with a drop dead gorgeous escort not let no ago. Had an incredible few hours to the point that I have taken him on a few trips now too.

 

They were perfect BFES....and he was a witty gentleman, great in the sack, cuddling, great conversation....

 

Now for the problem....he always seems to have money problems. I’ve given him about 5k just to help him get through his recurrent money issues....there’s always a great story attached to it.

 

I know I’m being hustled for the money and he knows I can’t say no, so he keeps asking and I keep giving.

 

I’m lucky to have plenty of money, but I’m feeling like a total tool. Tonight was the last straw....

 

Time to say goodbye....

Wait, this seems familiar! It is not an uncommon tale. We are kind hearted - it is hard to say ‘no’ to somebody you like. Regardless of the connection you share, you just gotta do it. It gets to a point where you realize that you are probably hurting him, rather than helping him by enabling this type of behaviour. Plus the whole thing makes you feel crummy....

[+ FrankR]

I have something somewhat similar. As crude as it may seem I always insisted on paying cash for the "date" during the first year knowing that with all the trips and nights over it would get expensive as a "lover" (he's out of town). So now he's got a gf and a kid and needs a lot and I remind him cash from me is in multiples of $xxx on the nightstand in the morning.

I used to be pretty flexible when it came to payment method. No more. Cash only. If it is too much trouble for the dude to open an envelope, I am moving on. Got really tired of receiving Google Wallet/Venmo requests (accompanied by a sob story, of course)...

[Frequentflier]

Time to say goodbye....

 

You've come to the right decision. And I'm happy for you that you've got plenty of money. Perhaps your "friend" (ok, he's not) could get a job and some of the money you'd normally give him could get added to your regular contributions to animal rescue organizations and shelters. Plus there are other young and attractive men eager to spend time with you so spreading your love around can be mutually rewarding.

[+ easygoingpal]

Have you considered a drug and / or gambling problem?

 

~Boomer~

In some cases, they are just high maintenance and they have a blasé attitude about it.

[MartyB]

I’m being hustled and need to stop.....has it happened to you?

 

I met with a drop dead gorgeous escort not let no ago. Had an incredible few hours to the point that I have taken him on a few trips now too.

 

They were perfect BFES....and he was a witty gentleman, great in the sack, cuddling, great conversation....

 

Now for the problem....he always seems to have money problems. I’ve given him about 5k just to help him get through his recurrent money issues....there’s always a great story attached to it.

 

I know I’m being hustled for the money and he knows I can’t say no, so he keeps asking and I keep giving.

 

I’m lucky to have plenty of money, but I’m feeling like a total tool. Tonight was the last straw....

 

Time to say goodbye....

I can't for certain but I would think an overwhelming # of clients have faced or will face what you've gone through. As clients it maybe very to separate the "real " relationship you may have with an escort regardless of how long you've been seeing him. When an escort starts hitting u up for "money" these are red flags. There could be any # of reasons and even if u have $'s to spare that's a road not to travel. You should not feel ashamed and give u credit for ending it. The beauty of this forum is that we can expeess issues like this and not be judged but given constructive opinions. Xoxo

[+ JEC]

This is one of those “never events” for me. Sorry it happened to you.....

[Tonyko]

MOST of us have been there; It's usually more subtle at least in my case, but still SO transparant to experienced eyes lol.

 

"just to let you know my phone is about to be shut off so I can only talk by Email as of tomorrow" OH NO. DO YOU NEED MONEY??

"just to let you know I'm being evicted so I will not be able to do incalls only outcall" OH NO CAN I HELP??

"I lost my job my dog needs surgery I need two implants my GF found out and threw me out I got mugged I got robbed I'm going to jail for unpaid tickets yada yada..."

 

I rarely have the heart to call them on it so I give ONCE. When the next "story" comes I just offer an "appointment" it that'll help.

[Gymowner]

this extra $5k...... you didnt set up overnights or weekends to make him EARN the money from you? at least that way you would have gotten something out of it. the problem isnt with the escort. you seem to be quite happy with his ability to perform in all ways for you. the problem is YOU. why ruin a good thing with the guy when you can just tighten up your own parameters and have a good time? Its human nature for someone that is perceived as a money bags to be asked by those the he or she provides to from time to time for money. hell women do it all the time with men and the men seem to glow that they are the "big daddy" and able to provide.

 

keep your situation fluid with him since it appears you have a great time with him. if you dont anymore...well then thats a different story. when he asks for extra money in the future, just let him know that you would like an overnight with him and he will have the money right there the next morning. he will get it in a mild way that your days of just being an ATM are over and guess what? if he is a decent person, he will respect you more as a person for it.

 

i have a phenom i see regularly. he has some extra bills coming up. i know he can really use extra money. so what did i do? just roll out a wad of dough? no. i offered to hire him more often. he readily agreed to the offer. he gets what i know he needs right now...the extra money and i get to have the enjoyment of having this stud around more often. a win/win in my books guys.

[+ FrankR]

this extra $5k...... you didnt set up overnights or weekends to make him EARN the money from you? at least that way you would have gotten something out of it. the problem isnt with the escort. you seem to be quite happy with his ability to perform in all ways for you. the problem is YOU. why ruin a good thing with the guy when you can just tighten up your own parameters and have a good time? Its human nature for someone that is perceived as a money bags to be asked by those the he or she provides to from time to time for money. hell women do it all the time with men and the men seem to glow that they are the "big daddy" and able to provide.

 

keep your situation fluid with him since it appears you have a great time with him. if you dont anymore...well then thats a different story. when he asks for extra money in the future, just let him know that you would like an overnight with him and he will have the money right there the next morning. he will get it in a mild way that your days of just being an ATM are over and guess what? if he is a decent person, he will respect you more as a person for it.

 

i have a phenom i see regularly. he has some extra bills coming up. i know he can really use extra money. so what did i do? just roll out a wad of dough? no. i offered to hire him more often. he readily agreed to the offer. he gets what i know he needs right now...the extra money and i get to have the enjoyment of having this stud around more often. a win/win in my books guys.

I dont disagree with your approach. It works for you and may work for the majority of guys. It may not work for everybody. You make two assumptions (from my reading of your post, I could be reading too much into it ) 1. Time and ability to meet on short notice. Speaking only for myself, I travel quite a bit, work long hours and need to manage a fairly unpredictable calendar. It can be hard to meet on short notice. 2. Inclination towards overnights and weekends. Again, speaking for myself, I dont do overnights. Mainly because I have to be out the door by 6:30am most days. Way before most guys are firing on all cylinders (too early for morning play for most guys!). For me, an overnite must include morning play!

[Guest TheOtherGuy]

I've been there! It can be really tricky to draw clear boundaries with these types of relationships. When money, sex, power, attraction and the fantasy of it all come together, the lines can get really blurry really fast.

Learning how to say "NO" is a lesson it took me a long time to learn. Being a people pleaser by nature, it's still challenging at times.

It might be tough to remember, but you don't owe him anything. His problems aren't your problems. The quickest way to clarify things is to either A) cut him off altogether. or B) redraw your boundaries and tell him that its time to go back to the client/provider relationship so you can both get what you need

[MassageDrew]

I’ve made a mistake giving my two cents to another member once about a similar situation. My only advice to you is move on. This infatuation you feel for this hot guy is a one-way direction. He’ll tell you that he likes you as long as you keep giving him “gas” money.

 

I just wonder how many of you is he milking?

Edited July 31, 2018 by MassageDrew

[Kenny]

Generosity puts a nice, selfless glow on things, but I'm afraid it doesn't really describe your end of the transaction.

 

gen·er·ous

ˈjen(ə)rəs/

adjective

adjective: generous

(of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.

"she was generous with her money"

[Gymowner]

The problem with just moving on is that the client hasnt learned the lesson... not the other way around. He may create the same situation with other escorts over and over. When someone asks for money it's very easy to just say "sure.... here's what I need out of our situation to do that". That's not being a bad person. That's just a normal, reasonable attitude to have when one is asked for money. Again, if a decent person, the escort will respect you all the more for it.

[N13]

Sucker has more than one definition. Stupid has only one.

[+ WestGuy]

Unfortunately there are those out there who will try to take advantage. A guy I met up with twice asked to borrow money from me because he was going to be sued for a debt and needed some cash just until his next commission check (he sold real estate and escorting was a side gig). I felt sorry for him and "loaned" him about half of what he requested. Never heard from him again. I texted him a couple of times to check the status and he always had excuses and promises to repay. I never pursued it even tbough I knew his real name and where he worked. So don't beat yourself up too much but definitely move on.

[+ nycman]

I’d say give him a chance to back down.

There’s nothing wrong with asking....

Hey, “ya don’t ask ya don’t get”....right?

 

Just politely decline his request for cold hard cash and ask if there

some other mutually beneficial way you can help him. If he tells

you to fuck off....well, then you’ve seen the light. If he’s smart and

a nice guy....he’ll appreciate and understand your offer.

 

Most guys really do want to “earn” a living, but if your handing out

$100’s for nothing...most humans will take the money and run.

Edited August 1, 2018 by nycman

[+ easygoingpal]

So, I have been through a similar situation in the past... Along the way, I had a brainstorm regarding this subject and decided that I would just offer a gift of a smaller amount of what was being asked as a loan. That way, I felt good about giving the gift and I felt no need to ask for the loan to be repaid and I would not have to hear lies/excuses. It has worked and has given me peace of mind at least twice when I did that.

[Bearofdistinction]

I’m being hustled and need to stop.....has it happened to you?

 

I met with a drop dead gorgeous escort not let no ago. Had an incredible few hours to the point that I have taken him on a few trips now too.

 

They were perfect BFES....and he was a witty gentleman, great in the sack, cuddling, great conversation....

 

Now for the problem....he always seems to have money problems. I’ve given him about 5k just to help him get through his recurrent money issues....there’s always a great story attached to it.

 

I know I’m being hustled for the money and he knows I can’t say no, so he keeps asking and I keep giving.

 

I’m lucky to have plenty of money, but I’m feeling like a total tool. Tonight was the last straw....

 

Time to say goodbye....

 

Here is an easy solution ---- Im sorry to hear that you are having problems we all do.

Here is for todays session and when your problems clear up perhaps we can meet up again.

[robberbaron4u]

My dear man, you are not being "hustled"; rather, you are being "worked" by a "pro".