Possible stalker -- Request for advice?

[adventurous old guy]

Ok, thx again for all the advice. And the empathy/concern -- that was nice. Just to clarify, this has barely registered on my radar as an annoyance. I'm busy, and have just blown past this stuff until I realized yesterday that hey, its July now, this has been going on for 3 months and should have run its course.

 

Anyway I'm going with the bored millennial theory -- thx Marylander, hadn't really thought of that -- and will just continue to ignore. I think I won't block, just let further texts accumulate to have a record as Charlie suggests, on the off chance he escalates this.

 

Best to you all,

AOG

Edited July 3, 2018 by adventurous old guy

[Scjim992]

You need to ghost this guy. You are never going to meet him because of his behavior, so just cut off all contact. Block or don’t respond. There is no point to any communication whatsoever. I’ve had some issues with people I’ve met who text incessantly when they come back to the city where I live. I ghost anyone that does this. It’s unprofessional and suggests they are not stable.

[+ goosh69]

TOP sounds weird frankly. He KNOWS he can block a number but won’t because reasons. Sounds like he wants to be the victim and likes drama. I’d have blocked the guy after the third or fourth text after my first “no.”

[marylander1940]

Ok, thx again for all the advice. And the empathy/concern -- that was nice. Just to clarify, this has barely registered on my radar as an annoyance. I'm busy, and have just blown past this stuff until I realized yesterday that hey, its July now, this has been going on for 3 months and should have run its course.

 

Anyway I'm going with the bored millennial theory -- thx Marylander, hadn't really thought of that -- and will just continue to ignore. I think I won't block, just let further texts accumulate to have a record as Charlie suggests, on the off chance this intensifies.

 

Best to you all,

AOG

 

Good for you! He didn't anything as bad as cancelling at the last minute or not showing up.

You can also click on "hide alerts" and your iPhone won't ring when he texts you twice a week.

 

Besides if you think you and he are such a good match, why not hiring him whenever is convenient and of course out of Chicago.

[marylander1940]

TOP sounds weird frankly. He KNOWS he can block a number but won’t because reasons. Sounds like he wants to be the victim and likes drama. I’d have blocked the guy after the third or fourth text after my first “no.”

 

If you're talking about the OP @adventurous old guy I think you're wrong.

 

Believe me... there have been other case of folks hoping to have a stalker (imaginary in most cases) but that's not this case.

[LaffingBear]

Unfortunately, not everyone who advertises as an "escort" is a mentally/emotionally stable businessman

Unfortunately, not everyone is mentally/emotionally stable.

'nuff said

 

[+ PapaTony]

TOP sounds weird frankly. He KNOWS he can block a number but won’t because reasons. Sounds like he wants to be the victim and likes drama. I’d have blocked the guy after the third or fourth text after my first “no.”

Agreed

[Guest MikeThomas]

Ok, thx again for all the advice. And the empathy/concern -- that was nice. Just to clarify, this has barely registered on my radar as an annoyance. I'm busy, and have just blown past this stuff until I realized yesterday that hey, its July now, this has been going on for 3 months and should have run its course.

 

Anyway I'm going with the bored millennial theory -- thx Marylander, hadn't really thought of that -- and will just continue to ignore. I think I won't block, just let further texts accumulate to have a record as Charlie suggests, on the off chance this intensifies.

 

Best to you all,

AOG

AOG has told us what he is going to do. Probably time for this thread to end.

[adventurous old guy]

AOG has told us what he is going to do. Probably time for this thread to end.

Amen.

[humboldt]

Several years ago, and much to my surprise, I ran into a similar situation with a guy I hired down in New Orleans. Only in my situation, the clingy stuff occurred after the meet-up.

 

The sex was okay. He was quite affectionate, more than I would have expected. And his rates were extremely low.

 

When I returned home (several hundred miles away), he continued to text me. And text me. And text me. I kept the conversation alive because, if I'm being honest with myself, I was kinda flattered by the attention.

 

But at some point he started talking about coming to visit me, which wasn't in my plans. And then he started floating the idea of moving to my state. Over time I realized that he was probably in the business to find somebody who would take care of him. Luckily somebody else turned up and played that role for him, and we lost contact. But there were moments in all of that when I felt far more vulnerable than I would have liked.

 

I don't know if you should just ignore your person or block him. But I can offer this advice: Don't ever meet up with him. That would likely only exacerbate what you're already experiencing now. Sorry you're having to deal with this!

[+ Pensant]

Generally, if someone has been blocked, they may get a message that “this customer is unavailable at this time”. If they have an iPhone and are using SMS, I think they’ll just never get the notice that the text has been received or read.

[marylander1940]

Unfortunately, not everyone is mentally/emotionally stable.

'nuff said

 

 

Specially clients!

 

I'm taken a back at so many of yinz asking @adventurous old guy to block someone because of 2 texts a week. Talking about overreacting in life. Stalking? This ain't stalking!

 

Somehow I feel some of yiniz think you're powerful because of the power at the tip of your finger of blocking someone from texting yinz. Good luck with the real world out there!

 

Calling Dr. Freud!

 

AOG has told us what he is going to do. Probably time for this thread to end.

 

Exactly... specially considering the amount of escorts who don't show up, cancel at the last min. or blackmail clients.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Yeah, someone needs therapy here.

[marylander1940]

Yeah, someone needs therapy here.

 

I will save that for the next time I accuse someone of projecting...

[+ glutes]

Thanks all. I know I can block, but here's what I don't know. When I block, how does he know? I assumed he'd take no answers for 3 months as the same as blocking

 

Hope you used a bone phone...

[sexymonk]

Block the number. If he manages to still contact you from another number... then change your number.

Change number just because a stalker is stalking? Ignore! How much he will text? At last he will give up. Ignoring at times can be bliss!

[big-n-tall]

Change number just because a stalker is stalking? Ignore! How much he will text? At last he will give up. Ignoring at times can be bliss!

 

Change your number if he gets around the blocking? Yes. Definitely. I never suggested the OP change his number immediately if you read what I wrote.

 

I don't consider this stalking. If he truly were, he won't give up, unless someone else caught his attention. A real stalker doesn't just give up if you ignore them.

 

I think the escort is overeager, but not stalking.

Edited July 3, 2018 by big-n-tall

[+ azdr0710]

ha!.....though certainly a hassle, this is hardly stalking!......you made a couple "not interested" replies and a nearly-curt "stop" one, you said....you've done the right thing.....don't promise a meet and don't make threats.....all you can do now is ignore his replies......be patient and see what happens......I've never ever blocked a number......

 

there was an eager RM guy who I had no interest in who would notice I was online and "cold called" me a few times (RM message system message)......I ignored them and they stopped.....this was even after I checked the box at my preferences to be invisible (don't know how he saw me)........

[marylander1940]

Ok, thx again for all the advice. And the empathy/concern -- that was nice. Just to clarify, this has barely registered on my radar as an annoyance. I'm busy, and have just blown past this stuff until I realized yesterday that hey, its July now, this has been going on for 3 months and should have run its course.

 

Anyway I'm going with the bored millennial theory -- thx Marylander, hadn't really thought of that -- and will just continue to ignore. I think I won't block, just let further texts accumulate to have a record as Charlie suggests, on the off chance he escalates this.

 

Best to you all,

AOG

 

If you ever met him you'd better review him, LOL

 

...

 

I don't consider this stalking. If he truly were, he won't give up, unless someone else caught his attention. A real stalker doesn't just give up if you ignore them.

 

I think the escort is overeager, but not stalking.

 

ha!.....though certainly a hassle, this is hardly stalking!......you made a couple "not interested" replies and a nearly-curt "stop" one, you said....you've done the right thing.....don't promise a meet and don't make threats.....all you can do now is ignore his replies......be patient and see what happens......I've never ever blocked a number......

 

there was an eager RM guy who I had no interest in who would notice I was online and "cold called" me a few times (RM message system message)......I ignored them and they stopped.....this was even after I checked the box at my preferences to be invisible (don't know how he saw me)........

 

Thanks guys, it takes courage to disagree with the:

 

 

 

Exactly:

 

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/stalker

1. a person who pursues game, prey, or a person stealthily.
   
2. a person who harasses another person, as a former lover, a famous person, etc., in an aggressive, often threatening and illegal manner: Hollywood stars often have security guards to keep dangerous stalkers at bay.
   

[Ludo]

You were traveling when you contacted him?

He doesn't even live in your city?

He texted you?

 

Girl- you need to fake your own death and move to an undisclosed location ASAP.

 

http://soulartistmanagementblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/MOLLY-YOU-IN-DANGER-GIRL.jpg

[+ E.T.Bass]

Hi, have an issue and think I'm not a first.

 

Contacted a service provider when traveling in March. Explained what I was looking for and told him a bit about me -- age, height, weight, the fact that I was very much a top -- in a RM email. He was up for it, so I shifted to text. The one time I was available, he was scheduled to work and I got an up sell - he'd take off a day of work if I would do an overnight. I said no, I wasn't interested in doing an overnight with somebody I'd never met before, plus I had to do my own job starting early the next day. I then got a hard sell -- I should take a chance because I'm exactly his type, he's a great bottom, he gets really into it and would deliver a great time and so on, way over the top. I said no thx, this won't work, thanked him for his interest and ignored a couple more follow up texts about this meeting. A few days later, he texted again proposing that he fly to my home in Chicago for an overnight. I responded thanking him for the offer, reminding him that again we had not met and I didn't want to do an overnight for that reason, and that I never hired when I was at home, it was a rule in my relationship. He then changed his offer to the effect that he would cover hotel costs if I could just do the plane ticket. So clearly this guy is an aggressive non-listener. I reiterated no, not interested, and wished him luck in life. It was firm and curt.

 

So, now I get about 2 texts a week from this guy, asking me how I am. I haven't responded at all with the goal of my silence communicating a hard stop to the back and forth. His texts haven't stopped, I got 2 over the weekend. Wondering what else I should try, or should I just continue the silence? If not silence, should I try a threat? Or should I make another firm reply of not interested, please don't contact me again. I have been almost this direct before, but not made the explicit request to desist in contacting me.

 

Btw, I'm not worried about being outed or any kind of blackmail. However, it has crossed my mind given his persistence that he is a whacko who can easily get my name and where I live and that he may just show up here one day.

 

Would appreciate advice. Thx.

Reminds me of a realtor I worked with when I bought my house that came up with a brilliant idea how I would buy a 2nd home, a vacation home in Florida where he and I could run it as an Airbnb. He could live there and manage things locally. He had already moved down there, so it would be perfect! He would not give up, repeatedly asking me to send a check, make an offer. 'Let's just see what happens.' It just got to be nuts, how he couldn't accept my lack of interest. He was not hearing any of my reasonable explanations why he needed to drop the idea, continually trying to convince me to make an offer, over and over. He seemed irrational, but I get it. That's how some people are. I still felt weird about him though and eventually put him on ignore.

[adventurous old guy]

You were traveling when you contacted him?

He doesn't even live in your city?

He texted you?

 

Girl- you need to fake your own death and move to an undisclosed location ASAP.

 

http://soulartistmanagementblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/MOLLY-YOU-IN-DANGER-GIRL.jpg

 

Ok, so I wasn't going to comment on this thread any longer, but this was too funny -- thx Ludo, made me laugh out loud!

 

Quickly before I leave this thread -- for good this time -- I get that I was probably over-reacting in describing him as a stalker. Responses here helped me see that, thx. I would never even think about hiring him in the future, even when I am back in his city. And I'm not going to block his texts or change my phone number, just continue to completely ignore him. Now I'm really done here! Have a fun holiday everyone.

[marylander1940]

Reminds me of a realtor I worked with when I bought my house that came up with a brilliant idea how I would buy a 2nd home, a vacation home in Florida where he and I could run it as an Airbnb. He could live there and manage things locally. He had already moved down there, so it would be perfect! He would not give up, repeatedly asking me to send a check, make an offer. 'Let's just see what happens.' It just got to be nuts, how he couldn't accept my lack of interest. He was not hearing any of my reasonable explanations why he needed to drop the idea, continually trying to convince me to make an offer, over and over. He seemed irrational, but I get it. That's how some people are. I still felt weird about him though and eventually put him on ignore.

 

That was clearly a stalker!

 

Please guys read it! Not every person who is insistent is a stalker but that one was a stalker worth blocking!