JB_Studio38

Boy, BYE! Don't talk to me when you're too cheap to get a hotel and you can't spell. You 28 years old trying to find cheap places to meet escorts. At-least I have the confidence to show myself online. Where's your pictures? https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/cheap-places-to-be-with-provider.161778/ And no I don't judge anyone's weight, but if someone wants to be judgemental towards me...they are going to get judgmental handed back to them.

Thankyou 1,000 times over for your perspective! I had completely not noticed that my RentMasseur has a different weight than my Rentmen. Idk how that happened or how I hadn’t noticed that. I know lately, my phones have been behaving quirky to where when I press one part of the screen, I end up pressing something different. So that might of been something by when editing ads. I’ve also taken into consideration the other things you’ve mentioned. Some of the things you said, I’m not willing to change. Mainly the deposit part. I’ve gone back and forth between doing them, and not doing them, but at this point I feel it’s where it’s at for me now. I also can’t bring myself to write notes about clients. I know there’s ways to do it discretely, but I don’t wish to have a written journal or diary about clients. Even on phone. And I will say, I do remember a lot of things clients tell me. I’ve had clients say, “oh wow, you remembered THAT?” That’s just how I am. Atleast the things that matter. I really don’t feel the need to recall every tidbit about their life. At the end of the day, they’re hiring a sex worker and oftentimes may even be married. It’s a lot of thought process to maintain, for a situation that may likely only be a 1 or 2 time thing in most cases (that’s not being pessimistic, but like I said: if every guy had as many regulars as they needed, everybody wouldn’t be needing to advertise on RentMen every month). And like I say, there’s been lots of attempted 2nd bookings that didn’t happen, simply because the timing didn’t mesh. As for forum personality, I can’t help myself lol. I don’t like bitchy people who give bitchy replies. However, at the end of the day, obviously certain people are going to talk and feel how they feel. And I acknowledge the forum environment is toxic in some ways, and that’s why many providers don’t frequent this ecosystem. Even reading the thread about, “porn stars I would never hire” was toxic just reading it. It’s tragic that people actually sit around and circle jerk about not liking particular sex workers. But yet, don’t we DARE come up with a client review section for THEM. ??‍♂️ Yes, it’s a client forum, but if there’s so much hypocrisy and criticism going around, all it’s going to do is discourage new providers from joining. And that’s bad for the site because, we should all know that escorts DO PAY for advertising, and will pay for advertising. And even though this should be good free marketing, it’s too many toxic vile opinions going around...and I can imagine the average, well to do male sex worker would be turned off about the thought of trying to walk on eggshells not saying anything to offend a potential client or perhaps, another escort. That said, I still appreciate the input. I think it’s hard, much harder than I recognize even after 12 years in the game...because we don’t always know what may be wrong with us at any given time. Clients tend to often not speak their mind in person. I often find myself having to ask clients and apologize about certain things boldly, just to make sure they know...that I know, they may have been put off by something. Rentmen doesn’t help us write ads. We have to formulate our own style and writing, and convey our boundaries without turning off the genuine clients, while still keeping true to ourselves. That’s why I love having my business card, is very simple with hardly any words. Rentmen ad you feel compelled to say a lot, but you can just as easily say nothing at all. However, the online environment requires you to be inclusive, simply because people know nothing of you at first glance. At the end of the day, I know what I’m dealing with now is mostly due to needing a change in market. Like I said, sometimes it doesn’t matter what an escort does, if there’s no market to market to...one can only go so far. If you look across any Grindr, Adam4Adam or Rentmen, people write lots of stuff in ads that are off-putting, but they’re still getting laid. But atleast I know what things I can change, before I make that change.

You’re not obligated to peek behind the curtain. But if the realization that escorts aren’t “perfect”, and that we all have things we work thru or contend with is too “real” for you, you may be operating in a superficial, fantasy mentality. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fantasy. But when you refer to the person as a mere fantasy, you may be disappointed when the real comes out. Well I’m appreciative that judgmental, patronizing opinions (notice I said opinions, not assistance) doesn’t have much clout in the big scheme of things. And for the record, I don’t have a problem with people giving assistance. I can appreciate someone offering their tips where it counts, but when it denigrates into calling me the root of my problems, that offensive. And I won’t tolerate it. There’s some sad people on this forum who like to tear down someone’s self esteem and sense of worth, for whatever reason. It’s not helpful. There’s nothing helpful in saying someone is the reason why they are not being treated by others, in a way they want to be treated. Or that they themselves are why they can’t get more regulars. Without even understanding the whole picture. It’s not advice. It’s antagonizing. That, I won’t stand for and I will absolutely refute it as anything other than belittling criticism. And if a particular person doesn’t like my response, they can keep it moving. Thanks but no thanks.

You just can’t help yourself to keep up the condescending tone, can you? Those excuses, excuses, excuses, are likely you trying to project onto me, the EXCUSES you have with your body image and your “excuses” to not exercise. Because from what another member pointed out to me in private, you seem to be a bit overweight and have a body type that can’t fit into a harness correctly. ✋? How about you focus on losing weight and working on your body image problems while you can, instead of trying to come on here and figure out my problems and persistently go out of your way to insult me.

Well it sounds like you’re doing the right thing by booking in advance. And it sounds like you have some flexibility. If someone isn’t keeping their word on showing up for the appointment, that’s obviously being flaky. But the situations I discuss, many aren’t even giving that amount of notice. It’s more like “hey you free now”, and then when I say yes, I can be there at X time, then it’s no compromise. It won’t work if only 1 person requests a time, without trying to coordinate with the other. Obviously that has to also be prior to the session, not after...or moments prior either.

Well you can either keep wondering, or listen to what I’m saying to perhaps make a difference I can understand the reason for it, but I prefer to be more transparent. With so many celebrities and porn stars on Twitter speaking their minds (and sometimes getting backlash), I feel the adult thing to do is just be 100% real about how I feel. I’ve felt I’ve usually earned more business being genuine, than trying to hide behind an alias. If someone wouldn’t ever hire me for a post here, they’d likely never get booked in real life by me either ??‍♂️ Ive been working on my ad a bit recently, and still fine tuning what I want and don’t want in it. I have wondered if that seemed a bit redundant, and I may switch it up. However, I also like when a client says: I’ve read your ad...and points to it. It just lets me know they have an understanding of how I prefer to operate. Part of reason I’ve gotten so repetitive in ads over the months, is because I was too nice and polite. I didn’t say anything that alluded to boundaries, and I would get lots of texts about bookings, but lots of people who weren’t following anything I was saying in the ads.

Oh wow. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I haven’t really followed the story, but I’m just half curious as to what comes of it.

I hear what you’re saying, but I think there needs to be some acknowledgement that, sometimes no matter what a escort does; it may not help. Sometimes the problem is: there’s no market to market to lol. I been in a relatively segregated, classist, conservative, relatively frugal mentality area of the U.S. for the past 2 years. It’s like a town that I believe has a condescending vibe towards sex workers, but see us ONLY because they “NEED” to. Hence why there’s not enough regulars. Some have gone out of their way to make things difficult. They’ll text about an appointment, and then not respond when I return their message. They’ll book last minute, even when I’ve suggested needing advance notice. There’s also not as much coming from my own demographic. So, if you are catching on that dynamics in cities can trickle right down into the sex work realm, you’re absolutely right. The problem is multifaceted, and I don’t expect someone who doesn’t know other’s situation, to understand. So I’m not mad at all. It’s much better not having to stay in one place too long and deal with the things I’ve contended with staying in one market. Especially if that market doesn’t support the local trade.

Excellent input! I always wondered how the late 90s escorting were. I mean, I echo everything you’re saying, and in fact how you did things is similar to how I operate. But I am not a big note taker (and out of discretion). However, I am like an elephant and remember just about every client and what they are into. You also had some good techniques I hadn’t thought of, and I could see how that could help win over more regulars. I wouldn’t feed too much into how I chat on here. People tend to be bitchy in ways that they wouldn’t normally do in a conversation. And on the forum, I play along with people’s bitchiness not because I am that way as a provider, but I’m not going to kiss ass endlessly to appease someone’s skewed impression of me. We can agree to disagree, but when someone makes baseless statements without much to back it up (e.g. I’m the problem, and everyone else is not), I’m going to address it. That’s totally understandable. And I’ve touched on this topic a couple of weeks ago. My thing is: I don’t have a problem receiving deposits from clients. I know there’s some who don’t wish to, but I have specific reasons why I ask for deposits...and it’s nothing to do with trust. I feel if Uber drivers, Pizza Hut, eBay packages, Amazon, etc etc can be paid for and paid for shipping in advance, I as a escort should be given something in advance as well. That’s just how I operate. In my case, I ask for deposits even if it’s an hour session, mainly when hosting...because I have many times over the years: paid for hotels or traveled to cities expecting clients to show up, and got burned. It’s a personal preference for me. If a client sees it as a threat to their integrity, I can’t be responsible for that. To me, a deposit is about how I want to operate and for my peace of mind as a sex worker. If someone isn’t okay with that, I’m okay with that. ?? It’s been too many times in my career that I’ve done stuff on edge, going by a client’s word...and most times it worked it, other times it didn’t. So when someone says they got burned, I say...yeah, I been burned 100 times more, so I understand. I hope you can understand too.

I was facetious at the end of that post you quoted, but It was in reference to the start of the thread. It seemed like there was some discrepancies in the pricing of the provider, and I simply meant that I found it to work better having more than just a base incall/outcall donation (which Rentmasseur limits providers to), for that reason.

In my personal experience: there’s often more than it seems. Despite people touting how discrete and nonymous they want to remain, there’s a select few clients out there who are totally fine with letting a provider live in and/or operate from their place.

Same difference though. If you’re okay with RM having a review section, you should be okay if escorts exchange phone numbers, or atleast in a (000) 000-00XX format. And yes, it is the norm in some areas. There’s a site that I browse regularly that’s run by women across seas, and there’s postings updated regularly to assist/warn other sex workers. Others may chime in and say, “oh yeah, he did the same thing to me also”. America is just behind, and the lack of decriminalization of it, Is what continues to leave things in a hypocritical state of being.

It depends how you define anonymous. Technically, regardless of whether one winds up on a blacklist site or not... there's no anonymity. I mean, we exchange number, hopefully a name, and location, which may be a client's home. It's not cruising a park or scouting truck stop bathrooms. That's true anonymous sex. Where you don't even know their name, age, or anything about them. I would say: most anonymity is earned by default. At the end of the day, we're just gay men trying to live our lives judgement free from the general public. But when those same people abuse the privilege, that's where it's compromised. And it's not like I'm tooting horns out to the general public (because let's face it, when homosexuality, prostitution or other sexual freedoms are criminalized, the laws and media have a knack for exposing it to the general public). I'm more just for having a site where escorts can privately review and exchange info with others. Outside of the public eye.

Those are all valid reasonings. I try to avoid all except #4, as I do tend to ask for deposits...but that's pretty similar to what my wedding ? friends do for their venues. However it may be different to the upfront payment you refer to. Mine is just a small portion, and simply covers my initial expenses to host or travel. Senór citizens in the game such as myself, tend to prefer having arrangements confirmed, which in turn also encourage us to stick with appointments also.

Fair enough, but I’ll tell you right now...you’re the source of my problem right now, just based on how you’re talking condescendingly towards me. Let’s be clear on that. When you start using words like complain, frustrate, and problems...words that I never personally used; that gets on my wrong side automatically. Because you’re essentially excusing the situations I mentioned without consideration, and going out of your way to put me as the adversary. (even though you just did admit, that the person I referred to sounded like a time waster. And that person, was a client I’ve met previously and had a good encounter with . So you just confirmed the same things I was describing). Yes, I did say certain things do irritate me. It does irritate me when someone seems intent on an appointment, but then tells me that they need to cancel because of something they knew damn well would prevent them from meeting. It does irritate me when a client contacts the day of, with no sort of “heads up” expecting me to be ready at the drop of a dime, but can’t be bothered to plan for a mutually convenient time in advance. Or even, “I can be there at 3”, and they say, “that’s too late for me”. Well...how is it too late when they didn’t bother to see me as a person who “MIGHT” have a normal life of responsibilities (just like them!) and not just doing nothing with it. How the F you figure, that’s something that I am the reason for? Sounds like you’re projecting. But don’t be so dismissive. Just because you don’t like me calling something out, doesn’t mean I’m somehow responsible. Now in your defense, there have been some times where I could have done things a bit better with a particular client, but it’s hardly a pattern. Besides, if regulars were as plentiful as we all wanted, most of us wouldn’t be paying for advertising every month. We’d just have our revolving door of clients coming and going, without ever having to advertise.

Thats all understandable. It only seems to reason that COVID stuff isn’t helping. I just don’t know to what extent, but having insiders info into what you have described, helps make sense that it really may be something outside of our control. I know the times leading up to COVID, I had a guy want to rebook me while he was visiting SW Florida, but he had to wrap it early as the shows were being cut. Please don’t use inaccurate clichés. I never said I don’t get good customers. I never said the customers are the problem. I’m just stating my experience, and what it leaves me wondering. Notice what I said in the initial thread: gain MORE regulars. Not gain good clients. Not gain regulars. But MORE regulars. As in, I have them, but it’s not the extent that I would imagine I should have, considering the level of service I give. Hell, I even had 1 give me 5 star review...but he hasn’t rebooked and flaked over Labor Day weekend. He even had another client ask him, about me. I’m not mad at him, but it’s just like... could the money/payment part really be a defining hurdle? Is it that perhaps people don’t mind paying for something the 1st time, but figure afterwards...a new quest abounds? I mean let’s just be 100% real: How well or bad could a buy 1, get one free next time, work in gaining more regulars? Anyone with real life experience on it?

Well now you see, I wasn’t just making shit up to seem like I’m doing something wrong. This is what they’re giving me. Now granted, I could just cut him off and go ghost at your suggestion, but I don’t always have that luxury when I... A) don’t have enough new inquires locally and B) not getting many regulars when I do. And that’s the point I was making. I had one regular guy book a session the day of or day before maybe, and then cancels just hours prior saying he doesn’t get paid until next week. At that point, I was done. And that wasn’t the 1st time he bullshitted me. Then there’s 2 others in the area I’ve reached out to reschedule, they seemed up for it...then don’t return messages or don’t follow up.

That’s true. And I get that it is a good gesture to do so. Sometimes I find myself forgetting to do that, but not in a forgetful way...But I tend to like to do that sincerely at the end, versus trying to get into more back and forth texting...which after a hot sex encounter, I just don’t have the brain cells left to do so lol. of course if they text me, I always make sure to thank or welcome That I know is the main factor. Some cities are just 1 time hire regions. There’s probably a reason why there’s no big name escorts who are coming to or from Kansas City. I mean, midwestern places like Chicago are heavily saturated and hard to break into also, but I think there’s either die hard regulars or ample newbies to choose from. But I’ve seen even escorts there, let their rentmen ads expire for weeks. I had already explained it, so to have someone like @Rudynate say something like I’m the problem, is highly inconsiderate. I’m not blaming the client for anything. I’m just saying, how can it be made into a more regular situation. And if not, what’s blocking some from doing so. No need to be combative. But like I said, it’s not that I don’t have ANY regulars. I have regulars in a few states. I’ve always had regulars. Lots of them. Sometimes, it would become TOO regular as if I were their 2nd male wife/hubby ? . However, those tend to be kept in communication with for a year or longer. I’m mainly talking about the overall majority of meets... Which many times don’t become regulars. I was also spending a lot of time in Saint Louis area, I had made 2 regular regulars...but many others who met me previously, didn’t end up booking me again once I moved there. So then, it had gotten slow again and I had to leave.

Well that’s easy to say when you don’t know me, nor have you worked side by side to see the things that I refer to. Don’t be so judgmental. If you don’t like what I have to say, that doesn’t equate to me being the reason for how someone treats their encounters. If so, what would this problem be? What and why am I the reason specifically, for this. You tell me. My guess is: you don’t know. You’re just talking out of your ass. So you can go have a seat on it ✋? BUT, since you know it all and have the answers to my “problems”...I just had an example today of exactly what I referred to. 1 client who’ve I met before, we were just chatting yesterday (Saturday) about arranging something. He says he will get back to me Monday. Today (surprise, surprise), he texts me; what’s going on. Then says he’s free for a couple hours, but that might not be enough time. And it wasn’t. I need time to get ready and get to him, there’s no way I could have made that happen. So, the meet didn’t happen, and he says he has to check back on what day he can due to; etc etc. Now, that’s not picking on him...but that’s the stuff I refer to that starts to set things on the wrong path. It was last minute, then he don’t know when/how etc. I told him, had I known yesterday you were going to be free for a couple hours this afternoon, I would have already been there. I’m not going to get mad at him right now, because I think we can sort it out...But if it becomes a pattern, it will create friction.

Are you implying that because Dallas is more affordable than Los Angeles, the prices should be less? Maybe in theory...But rent is rent whether it’s $900 or $1,900. Hotel is hotel whether it’s $90 or $190. Think of it as a bottle of cologne. A bottle of Dolce or Tom Ford costs the same in Wichita, Kansas, as it does in NewYork City. Only difference is the taxes. I know for me, I don’t do hardly any appointments for under $150 anymore, most of the times not even under $250. It’s not about greed or about what others are charging, it’s just my overheads and me being able to operate, won’t get handled if I charged, say $100. I’m not booking clients round the clock. My only appointment last week was 1 $400 client earlier in the week.

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Anonymity is fine...but as I posted in another thread: do you think something like this, deserves anonymity (if the incident was sex work related, which it does not suggest) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox2detroit.com/news/suspect-in-murder-cannibalism-of-michigan-man-he-met-on-grindr-ruled-competent-for-trial.amp Anonymity is earned, not given. It would be selfish to not warn others of potential danger. I mean, wasn’t there a big discussion about getting flu shots, and “protecting others?” Well...I went ahead and got my flu shot this year, to protect others. likewise, I will post a bad client’s information...publicly, to protect others as well. It’s recommended by the CDC ? However, I’ve been having to do less of that lately. I don’t make money posting warnings/reviews of clients. That’s not what I’m in business for. And the best way is to prevent it from happening in the first place. So, I really just try to stick with my rules (deposit, advanced notice, etc) and that tends to avoid a lot of the headaches to begin with. It’s when I let it slide, that I run into problems.

I’ve had horror stories, but I see them now as lessons and experience under my belt. I can look back and laugh now, knowing what happened then... I’d never in a million years let it happen now. And how I could have done things differently. And often times, those same situations present themselves again... and I know what to do because of what happened last time. That said, it’s not a safety net by any means... and there’s still some crazies out there. However, I statistically believe there’s more danger on Grindr and like hookup apps (there’s a story about a cannibal in Michigan) than there is using paid sites. It’s in fact a misconception that “advertised” sex workers (Not talking about the guys who are like, I need $20 for gas) are more likely to be put in dangerous situations. So, when I read about people turning their nose up about deposits, and booking in advance, or whatever protocol an escort may have: Understand where that may come from to begin with.

I can attest. In my ad I say 24 hours notice preferred (Mainly to host), but two hours notice minimum. I’ve had to put that because I don’t need 24 hours notice to go to someone’s hotel, but don’t text me at 2:45 asking to meet at 3:00 because you’ve got a meeting at 4:00. That’s just being disorganized and inconsiderate... and there needs to be more tact to it. I used to had to counsel clients about that all the time, nowadays I put it in writing before they even contact. The running around like a headless ? days are over for me.

Ask him: is there anything else you need to know from me? Or better yet, ask him to give you more details about himself. What is it more that you feel you need to know? I had a client who I’ve met before who did everything perfectly on our 1st meet (booked in advance, sent deposit, showed up, was a great fuck), but on a recent follow up to meet again, I was getting the 1 or 2 word quick replies. Nothing bad, and I can see how it can seem iffy, but it’s not anything to be uncomfortable about. Turns out he was just busy. Now... whether or not it turns into a next appointment, we have to see. But I’m hoping the short sentences weren’t just going along with it.