JB_Studio38

Okay first off: I don’t say 4 hours notice because I may not always need 4 hours notice. I’m being concise and direct, by saying I need 2 to 4 hours notice lol. I say that because sometimes I may need 2 hours notice, other times 4. It may be somewhere in between. Just imagine: I sit around all weekend, no bookings. Then, the moment I decide to accept an invitation from a friend to do or go somewhere, a client texts out the blue asking if I’m available. With the disclaimer, they need to be willing to allow 2 to 4 hours notice before I show up. That’s the whole point of it. So I don’t have to drop or cancel what I’m doing to dash out for a client, who might just cancel or not follow thru anyway. I also DID confirm the time with this last person. I had just fucking told him the night before, that I can do after 11 p.m. He specifically said he can do either early afternoon or at night after 11. That’s the times he gave me. Then the next day comes, he’s telling me the conference was hectic and that he’ll reach out if he can commit to a time. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?

I can understand your locksmith analogy, but that’s different. That’s an emergency line of work. I would rather it more relate to friends and family, because they are individual people…versus a business that just operates on a 24/7 basis. Obviously that business will rely on last minute callers. In my case: I’ve had time and time again, clients who contact for appointments, even if it doesn’t “seem” like there’s a specific time, we agreed on meeting and they flake. I don’t block their number, then they come around couple or few months down the line and do it again. How many chances must I be willing to give? Would this same person contact their relative last minute to say they’re in town, and then bail? No. So why the F would they even think for a second that it’s considerate for us? In addition to mentioning my deposit rule, I’ve also just recently added BE PREPARED TO BOOK AND PLAN IN ADVANCE. IF YOU CONTACT ME WITHOUT NOTICE, BE PREPARED TO WAIT AT LEAST 2 to 4 HOURS. I didn’t say it in all caps, but that’s the message I’m trying to get across. I really don’t understand why people don’t get it. I’m not just sitting around, waiting around on a corner for someone to pick me up. It just really gets to me that I have to constantly miss appointments throughout the week because some people don’t bother to put any sort of thought or planning into appointments. But I also think the big part of it is working in Kansas City. I’ve said before this is still one of the worst markets in the country to be an escort in. Majority of the responses are last minute, unplanned, and not much notice.

That’s true…the 2nd part. But in my case, it’s more of just the overall. Those few seconds of texts can add up to hours and days when it happens often enough. I do feel unnecessarily annoyed, but at the same time I get it quite a bit in my region. Parts of the Midwest are notorious for the bullshit. But I thought it was getting better. It would be different if I was getting bookings round the clock and didn’t notice it, but I only receive 1 or 2, maybe 3 appointments a week when I’m not on tour. So anyone who doesn’t follow thru on an appointment is going to show up on my radar pretty clear.

Well it sounds scripted, but it’s always good to have a plan and understanding in mind. It doesn’t have to be verbatim, but you can switch it up as either pleases to.

I know it sounds harsh, but I’m along the fence of adopting it. This mainly goes for these type of bookers: they contact for a session, and then it seems like can’t seem to pin down for a time that isn’t “right this moment”. I’ve had a couple of people do this recently, and have been sure to block. Examples: they are visiting or even local. They contact for a session, but not willing to give enough notice or schedule a mutually convenient time. Usually this tends to be the late evening requests. Like yesterday I had someone reach out just after 10 p.m. for a booking asking my availability. I wasn’t expecting an appointment considering no one called all day. Knowing it was late and I wasn’t ready to take the booking, I mentioned I’m free the next day after 6. Next day I text back to follow up, only to be told he likely can’t do the visit due to conference. I know it sounds petty to get annoyed by this, but it really irritates the shit out of me…and I just end up blocking him. For one, the person had no decency or respect to contact with notice that he was coming to town and looking for a session, then he didn’t even follow up or keep the plans to meet. A client like this, I don’t even want to leave the door open for a future session because I find more and more when they do it once, they tend to do so again. So with that being the case, I’m leaning towards the one strike rule. I know other businesses give more chances, but as I’ve said before: we are often just 1 person handling a lot of traffic.

I have come across it from time to time. However between doing deposits for new clients and doing my own screening process, it’s rare that I’ll need to use the reviews to verify a client. Not to mention, I can’t guarantee every escort would take kindly to another provider reaching out about a current or former client…and some providers may not want to take a client again if they’re out looking. I know it sounds crazy but… I know there was a client I seen who had reviewed another provider I knew. All was well. But then he flaked a couple of times on me. I then learned he hired another friend of mine. At this point I’m not willing to see him as a client anymore because he isn’t consistent with and evidently contacting other providers also.

That’s true enough. And for the most part, I don’t particularly have a “friends off limits” clause…but with this particular person in this particular situation, it was in a bad taste. I’ve occasionally had clients introduce me to their friends. In some cases, the client initiated and/or gave the way that it was cool that him and their friend (or even partner) could hook up (usually with the client involved in it). However, in majority of the cases I would never come onto a client’s friend that I was introduced to (and let’s be real, many clients don’t introduce us to their friends and family). I asked a client about this the other day, because he has introduced me to a friend of his and we occasionally hang out TOGETHER. But he say it would be a BIG ISSUE if I were to make a move on his friend or even Vice versa. It’s not, “oh I’m a sex worker and you’re a client, so the hell with basic integrity. If me and your friend want to fuck, by all means .” That’s so far from reality and respect. Not to mention, my “friend with benefit” apologized for insulting me (and by insult I mean him using explicit verbal abuse for the very fact that I even expressed by disagreement)…but he failed to understand why I had an issue with him trying to game my friend: 2 months after we had just had full on flip flop sex, and he waited until we hooked up a couple of times to say he wasn’t looking for anything serious, but yet was always wanting to spend time around me, even doing a trip together. It was very sleazy, and too soon. As for drama: I’ve learned that unless one removes themselves from all gay congregating activities that revolve around meeting/dating (bars, apps, etc) there’s always going to be some degree of drama. I see many of my older clients and they’re drama free mainly because they don’t do bars, apps, socials or any type of Gay stuff. Just family and long term friends. Which is understandable in your 50s and 60s, but at early/mid 30s…unless you’re fortunate to have a partner, you have to do what you have to do, otherwise life can become extremely lonely, and sadly even innocent connections can lead to shit shows. A lot of gay guys out here are messy, especially in cities that are surrounded by intolerant, gay repressed towns because gays are taught they are nothing but a sexuality…and that other gay men are only good for the purpose of sex

I had to explain this to someone the other day. There seems to be this stereotype that just because a guy is a sex worker, that basic guy code goes out the window or that we don’t have any kind of clout when it comes down to decency and integrity surrounding sex. In this case: it was a guy “friend” who I had previously messed around with on 2 occasions (and each “occasion” involved us messing around 2-3 times each). However, this wasn’t years ago, this was over the last 2 months. For whatever reason, we drifted from having sex and just remained friends. Forward to last weekend, I introduced him to another friend of mine who I’ve not had any sexual flings with, except a once off 3way couple years ago….and it didn’t really involve us touching each other lol. I was glad they got along, but then I was noticing my “former fuck buddy” friend was coming on to my friend from out of town a bit too strong as the night progressed. When it became evident he was trying to stage a hookup, I stepped in while my friend was away and implied “guy code” and told him I wasn’t introducing them to be a match maker, but for the purpose of exploring the city. Next thing I know, the guy starts going in on me with verbal assaults, stating I’m this and that and don’t own either of them, including adding that I’m a sex worker so why should it matter, to somehow get leverage and condone that it’s okay for him to sleep with my friend…when we had sex on the 1st meet and known each other after that for only a couple of months. Eventually I snapped and had to remove myself from the situation, and my friend who was visiting was blown away by the blatant disrespect and wanted no part of the interaction. All this happening in a public rooftop bar at that! Needless to say, I felt blindsided and appalled at the fact someone seems to believe that being an escort means not having any sort of integrity. He conveniently pointed out that he introduced me to one of his friends who was interested in my erotic massage: But I told him that’s different because he initiated that and all parties were okay with it. But it doesn’t mean one can go help himself to a family or friend in a setting where it was not intended. And basic guy code is: if we had any type of “intimacy” at any point in the near past, one should never make a move on that person’s friend (or family, or random guy on street when you’re together) UNLESS it just happens to be agreed mutually by the 2 people who originally fucked. It’s just basic respect. But even gay culture itself doesn’t always respect that. That’s why when I did bars more often, there was always someone breaking out in a fight and it’s usually the 2 guys who are “together” and one decides to make a messy move which causes it. Adding: the guy even threw out “we’re guys”. As if it means nothing when it comes down to Herero/gay circles.

That’s understandable... One reason (of many) I’m not into Grindr marketing is because it caters to the “right now” brigade. Even when I’m on there for my personal time, I feel it’s often now or never. And likewise, sometimes I need now instead of never lol. But that kind of booking often leads to flaked or rushed appointments. I been meaning to block someone who contacted me couple weeks ago: he stated he was in a hotel in South Kansas City, and even asked if it would be too far for me. Technically it wasn’t, but it was like 10:30 p.m. I had gotten comfortable and needed like an hour. Then he says it would be too late because he would be sleep. What the fuck did he expect? Me to be over in 10 minutes? Very rude and disrespectful. But it doesn’t surprise me considering majority of the inquiries out of Kansas City are trash anyway. Idk if it’s because it’s a crossroads City or the overall vibe or what. But I’ve already seen many providers here don’t last or often go elsewhere.

This is an annual topic it seems lol. Personally: I don’t find it to be any busier the day of Pride, but I do notice it can be busier around that time. But some years it’s been quieter.

oh wow, yeah I’m def not at 4%. That’s almost all muscle fiber. But considering the tan, flexing and oil rub, it does give it an extra “contoured” look. But like I said: if the guy pictured was an escort, I would not think: “wow, that’s a lot of work to be a sex worker”. I would just think: this is a person who is very serious about his fitness goals, and just happens to be a sex worker.

I’m 200+ pounds and just diet and exercise. I don’t know my BF % lately but it could be a lot lower if I cut out a couple of things. I also don’t get to the gym as often as I could because I’m often taking appointments, or busy with real life shit. But It’s not always juice involved with everyone. And just to be clear: I’m not suggesting that the escort in question is vain or whatever... because obviously I don’t know him. And @Benjamin_Nicholas and @Monarchy79 are both right that there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to attain and maintain a certain look, and there’s nothing wrong with taking the steps to make it happen. And it doesn’t have to be solely for the sake of escorting, it can be an enjoyable and healthy self-desired thing to do. But what I am saying is: it’s not necessary to “boost” ones way thru escorting artificially, just for the sake of doing it. And like someone mentioned, a person would probably do it anyway whether they’re an escort or not, if that’s what they want to do.

Just noticed this message, must have missed it in between replying to the previous one. But yes, you are spot on! People, especially “gay guys” (I know it’s Pride Month, but considering the level of overblown egos and general self serving mentality that seem to frequent the gay community, I think it’s time to start calling it something different...maybe “National LGBTQ ACCEPTANCE Month” Anyhow though, yeah it is sad that people who book us can be wishy washy. And I totally get it. Clients have told me how nervous and difficult it was to make the move to hire. However, I still have to treat things matter of factly. And hosting without a deposit in the way I host, is out of the question. Since the update, I have noticed only slightly fewer requests for incalls... but that’s alright by me because I’m not catering to the “can I come over right now” brigade. Which is not an issue either, long as they do the deposit. But when I’m home, it’s hard for me to do last minute appointments so I miss a good chunk of weekday lunch hour business.

Interesting story you gave. I’ve always said, many clients don’t always realize what goes on behind the scenes and what all we put into to create an experience. However, in the case of this guy...I don’t really see how it emphasizes what an escort has to do. Non of what you mentioned, that he mentioned...is exclusive or necessary to being a sex worker. Gay guys who aren’t escorts go to the gym, do roids, get cosmetic and gym stuff too. Non of it is really a requirement or “background” to being an escort. When I started in the game back in 2008, I was a skinny kid with a chipped tooth...but still managed to attract a following. I’m not saying that providers don’t (or shouldn’t) put a lot of work into their appearance or biz, but not all of us are hell bent on the superficial/expensive aspects of vanity. Escorting is not a beauty contest or bodybuilding competition. You can really just be a regular guy who takes good care of himself, knows how to tap into a base, and have a genuine like for the type of clients who come to you. So in the case of the provider: I don’t really see it as being “doing all that to be an escort”, but more of “I’m being an escort so I can also maintain all of that”. And that’s not me trying to be a bitch: but I hear guys think about coming into escorting so they can support a lavish lifestyle...and I’m like, don’t get your hopes up. It ain’t that easy lol. I introduced one friend of mine who is an “aspiring” escort to a client buddy of mine, over dinner. He had all the beauty and glitz, but not even 2 minutes went by, my client got up and left the table. My friend was being an obnoxious queen, and my client was not for it.

Adam4Adam... it really just takes a certain approach. I don’t waste time chit chatting on there, but it’s still a useful resource. I once winked at a profile on there (I don’t generally contact people to solicit but may send a hi or see who’s viewed me.. but even then) and he later booked a $400 session. But again, it’s rare. I used to like it when it was only $10 a month. It’s $30 now. However, at $10 a month I noticed there was more “sketchy” providers advertising. But If it goes up any more than $30-$40, I would likely move on. I probably only get 1 or 2 bookings (out of dozens of messages) each billing cycle.

Good word 👏🏽 I especially emphasize the part when you say “waiting around on the off chance”. I understand and can even appreciate guys seeing my ad and wanting to meet right away. But I really don’t like being “assumed” that I’m available just out the blue. I know gay sex has happened like that for millions of years before the advent of cell phones, but it doesn’t mean that it needs to stay that way. Fortunately, as I’m getting “older” (older as in mid 30s versus early 20s) I’m finding clients are more willing to schedule ahead, but that also makes me expect less that I “have to” do last minute visits. At the same time...I’ve met a lot of great clients who just happened to want to meet the same day, and not always with a whole lot of notice. Which is okay.

Wow. That’s odd considering one must log on in order to be available, unless one is doing so via the RentMen chat app (which I appreciate them for doing for the very shy guys, but I don’t conduct biz thru it and simply have an auto-reply on).

Here’s my thing: I don’t feel like bottoms should “dominate” their tops. I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, but to me it can be a turn off. It’s one thing to ask for what you want, it’s another thing to dictate how a top should fuck you. Let the Top fuck you the way he wants to fuck you. Long as it’s not a case of you needing extra gentle, the idea of “bossing” a top around is somewhat contradictive. As for charging more for certain services: Some of those you mentioned are included in some price points, others it isn’t. I don’t charge per “act”, I go by per experience. There’s vanilla experience price and then there’s blow your mind price point. Priced accordingly. That said, anything too outlandishly freaky... I’ve learned to just not accept. Just because I’m a provider advertising on a site, doesn’t mean I will agree to any and everything. I no longer agree to do certain activities especially, with new clients. I want to exude the idea of having sex with Trey Songz, not Mr. T 😆

Just curious, not trying to player-hate on anyone’s game. But this is a Question for clients and providers alike. I don’t often cruise ads of other providers, but I do log onto RentMen nearly daily to check my messages/pics/updates. One thing I notice, it’s often a select few guys who are always “available now”. Whether they actually are available or not is one thing, but to me I wonder if there’s any real benefit to doing so. Or even more so, slightly suspicious looking. I personally only occasionally post “available now”. In reality, I’m rarely ever available now, and even if I am: it’s not how I prefer to arrange appointments. Not to mention, many guys looking in the moment don’t want to wait or expect unrealistic arrival times. How much luck of a draw is it, to think one can text/call a masseur/escort out the blue with no advanced planning, and expect them to arrive/be able to host in 20-30 minutes? Can one actually expect to get a provider who’s in their best, out of that? So idk, it makes me wonder. I may post available now, but I still require a 1 to 2 hour minimum notice. I wish RentMen would have it as “available today” versus “available now”, to avoid any unrealistic expectations. Not to mention the most obvious thing: I hardly get any texts or calls looking to meet now; when I post available now, anyway. So it’s really pointless to do so most days. So it makes me wonder why certain guys are always “available now” round the clock, to begin with.

The only sites I use now in 2021: Rentmen RentMass Adam4Adam Satellite sites include this forum, Twitter (and Twitter is like the art gallery crawl of porn/escorting...mainly for display/getting name out there) and my JFF platform. Very rarely I’ll use Grindr, and only in certain markets (sleepy towns with low competition and a wealthy base). That said, I am content with the level of responses just from those 3 main sites. I used to lament on the fact that websites were being taken away, but in reality: it starts becoming a money pit when you’re paying (rebill discount not included) $99 on men4rent (defunct), $99 on rentboy (defunct), $99 on RentMen, and $99 on a combination of A4A, Craigslist and backpage. No matter how much I could make, $200-$400 a month on advertising is excessive considering flakes, hotels/travel, and overall dead days. I’m okay keeping these websites out of my pockets. I know there’s also jock2go, but sometimes it gets to a point where you’re paying to be on the same sites that clients are going to be looking at over and over anyway. I’m sure there’s a perk to being seen over and over...but I like to concentrate on 2-4 ads, really work them and build them, and stay on top. When you have 5-6-10 ads floating around on the net, it can be hard to keep them all up to date. I tried mintboys, but after getting a really weird client who bullshitted me for weeks (fake pics, fake name, fake job description, emotionally needy, liar, never paid a deposit and flaked) AND THEN became verbally abusive, I haven’t had the desire to return to that wasteland.

I must say: I used the verbose emoji because it looks like “wow”, and I’m wowed at the results you collected, along with still retaining rentboy clients (hint hint webmasters for adding a wow emoji to the new platform 😉 Most all of my rentboy/backpage clients have either been lost or retained 🤷🏾‍♂️

Maybe “many” instead of “most”. But trying not to generalize and just speak as it relates to the context of this discussion

I’m not a client, but I’ve been quasi-ghosted by other escorts. I’ve even written about this on the board: I don’t know the specifics of your particular provider, but other escorts have chimed in regarding this. Most escort guys can be flaky. I mean, just on the message forum alone, we’ve seen guys come and go. It’s not an insult or obligation that they must stick around... but it’s how it is. My feeling is: 1. many escort guys don’t like confrontation in relational situations, and #2: I feel many escorts once they “get” what they want, they are liable to ghost at any moment. Then again: some of this is also just gay culture lifestyle. But when you add escort to the mix; more sex, more options, more unfamiliar personalities: the level of “answering to” anyone is far from expected. It’s for that reason that I’ve moved away from cultivating friends/fuck buddies with other escorts. I prefer now to mainly deal with clients and guys who aren’t in the industry. At the same time... my preference would be to make some good close friends and a partner who I don’t have to directly compete with, in the business.

... awaiting in kind 😏

Specifically speaking yes, but there’s other cases where even if it’s not within 24 hours... it’s still not cool.