JB_Studio38

First of all, I never said that I didn't enjoy the job. Let's be clear. I was just asking a general opinion and consensus. Don't get it confused, please. That said, I can care less about what "other" escorts do or don't complain about. That has nothing to do with me. But since you're so curious, I'll tell you one thing: a client of mine cancelled on a fairly popular escort/porn guy who was in town last week, when I reached out and let him know I'm available. When I asked my client how did he feel about that, he said he was very angry and was asking for his entire donation for the 2 hours, to be paid up. My client wasn't trying to do that. However, I suggested to my client that if there's a cancel fee, to do so. So even though the escort was technically competing for my client, I still suggested he do the right thing by offering him something. And I'm having a great time enjoying the biz. Last Friday on a trip, I met 4 clients in one day, all were booked a day prior, even though one did reach me the day of...which I was able to take because it wasn't "can you be here in 15 minutes" type of request....which I don't normally get anyway. But when I wrote this post, I think I was going thru a bit of frustrating moment dealing with my stubborn local market prospects.

I switched to justfor.fans awhile ago. Only fans seemed a bit dated and limited

What area of the Midwest did you hail from? I've been in Kansas city all summer and the summer is extreme oppressive too. Next few days will be 95+ with 100+ heat indexes. I like that I can grow palm trees and other tropicals like in Miami...but the growing season ends in about a month or 2, then the first frost turns everything Brown. Atlanta seems to stay mostly mild throughout the year, but they can get some wicked ice storms. Odd considering having lived in Denver and been to Minnesota...Atlanta seems so far south lol.

No I'm not judging or attacking him. I'm just saying it was judgmental and inconsiderate of him to tell me he wants to go on a date, we had plans on Saturday, which he cancelled because he claims he was tired and in a bad mood from work, but somehow that switched over to a question about what i do for work (in which I kept my whole evening open for, and could have accepted other plans considering it was also pride weekend in town). Prior to this, we met twice...he was sucking my dick within 20 minutes (which technically makes him a sex worker too, minus the money). The 2nd time was similar and he offered to go on a dinner and movie date when he got back from vacation, However, we agreed to reschedule for the next day Sunday...and he didn't even bother to cancel, I reached out to him asking if we were still good and he completely blows me off. So I pretty much missed out on an invite to a party Saturday afternoon, because I told myself I didn't want to attend both because that would have meant me having to commute twice that day across town. I shoulda just went. He wasted my time. It was a very bitch and dick move on his part. But I'm really just past getting upset with men who aren't worth the energy. I even had a good talk with my regular client buddy the day after (which made up for the loss), and was giving him a lecture about how he cancelled on another provider to see me. I told him I was grateful that he wanted to spend more time with me instead, but I wouldn't want someone doing it to me, you shouldn't do it to the other person. And the escort is a popular guy and was asking my client for the full fee. I told him, I can't tell how to spend your money, but give him 50-100 for his inconvenience at-least.

What made it annoying too was, he tried to come off so polite in the process. I told him that façade was very transparent. Especially considering he didn’t have any problem with me prior to me telling him that. What he did for work was pretty obvious, because it was a work from home due to COVID gig. But he was trying to find an exit strategy from his job, so it’s not like he was in the perfect position himself. If I would have guessed he’d of been such a dick about it, I would have taken on some other plans over the weekend, instead of not attending one of the pride parties that was going on in town. But because I needed to get things done, I couldn’t do the date and the party over the weekend. I ended up not doing either. I have zero tolerance for someone who’s not even a client, to waste my time. I definitely won’t be dealing with him again. That’s why I wish there was reviews for guys on these hookup apps. It’s easy to give a one sided story about his ex who was an escort, but I wonder what the supposed ex escort has to say about him! It's just like my "quasi" ex boyfriend who started as a client. Our thing ended badly, but it didn't end badly because I was an escort or he once seen me as a client. It ended badly because he was a bitch and decided to do some fucked up shit behind my back one day.

Short of just avoiding getting close to people who are not in the biz, what’s generally a useful strategy? Just cut ties with someone yesterday who I’d met with a couple of times (though it was off an app and started sexual anyway). I didn’t reveal what I do right away, as the question didn’t come up. But then just out of nowhere the other day he inquiries about what I do for work (And I also am going to be figuring out more ways to shut people down when they ask this question, because I feel when some ask, it feels they’re doing so with some sort of suspicion…and I don’t like that). After I told him, he did a complete 180 on me…saying we should just be friends, canceling plans and then telling me he dated an escort previously and it ended badly. As if that experience speaks for all who are in the industry. It’s stuff like that which makes me not be able to trust people with my business. I try to do things the right way and be open and honest, but it seems like every time, it backfires. I almost just have to lie and deny and have some sort of formula like: if I haven’t known them for at least 4 dates/meets, don’t even bother telling them. Why do I need somebody who I’ve only met once or twice, judging and criticizing me when they haven’t even fucking proven that they’re invested either? So I’m at a crossroads: I can either just not tell anybody else I meet anymore, or I can resolve to only deal with guys in the industry…but that presents its own share of challenges too, because I feel many guys in the biz go thru periods where all they care about is the next client or gig, and less about hanging out and making friends.

Yeah, A4A has gone thru some layout changes over the years. Fortunently they’ve kept their site somewhat consistent in look. Some sites like gay.com and manhunt kind of faded after their site changes. But they also were replaced by sites like Adam and then the apps. Not to mention, the A4A app has come out but I usually use the mobile site…because if you use the app, you might also not be able to see nude pics.

Yeah it’s really crazy. I’ve lost some regulars or previously met clients because of things like that. They’ll talk about wanting a session on a particular day, then go ghost. It’s gotten to where I’ve almost become unfazed about it. In fact, I even went ahead and got a separate number for the initial bookings because I almost need to consolidate the level of initial inquiries I get. And I won’t carry it around at much as my dedicated client phone, that way I’m not distracted by people who don’t follow up as much. I know one line is for the maybes and the other is for those who are actually booking in. Now I’ve just got to get a secretary, supervisor, and HR department 😂

I probably make this post every couple years. But guess it’s time again. The infamous A4A. Once known for allowing escort and hookup ads in the same place (unlike many apps today). Now it’s just masseur and miscellaneous that’s able to be posted. But once again, I find myself considering to stop advertising on there, I’m looking at my number of bookings from there city by city, and it’s looking not great. I still get clients from it, but it’s at such a reduced volume . Despite it being $30 a month to advertise, it’s still $30 and a lot of logging in to get placement. They also did something with their City/search lookup that requires users to go by county. Sounds very governmental and limiting. Many users are using the A4A app and seem to not be able to see my nude pics for some reason. So I don’t know. The site has potential, but I’m considering letting it go. Plus I always have a full inbox, but very few are booking anything. I even have my number in 2 places on my ad. People still message me on there instead of texting me to book. I usually don’t have time to stay glued to it all the time. Any others using?

I always wonder how that would work though. Or if it would work. I mean, I’m sure it does but idk. I’ve been “suggested” the offer to become a flight attendant and even met friends and clients who are in that business. But I’d imagine it hard to really be an escort and a flight attendant at the same time. In some ways I do feel like a flight attendant already, especially going on tour city to city lol. For example: I met a guy one year who was flight attendant. He flew into Phoenix at 4 p.m. and was out by 5:30 a.m. (I’m also not at all privy to moving and shaking at insane hours of the morning…it makes me nervous and irritable for some reason). I’m thinking to myself, what if I was an escort doing that? With the way clients contact us so unpredictable (or many can only meet between a narrow window of time during the daytime, God forbid a flight gets delayed) and without much notice, I can’t even see how the 2 would really interchange with each other. Meanwhile I was in Phoenix for like a week or 2 to give people a chance to recognize my ad and book me. I’d imagine with flight attendants you’d get the stray last minute client here and there, or the occasional advanced booking if you know there schedule or visit regularly.

So, there was once a site called Men4Rentnow.com that did a similar feature. Clients would post (albeit it was kind of a Craigslisty kind of way with very limited lines that wasn’t helpful) what they wanted and the rate they were willing to pay…and we could browse those listings and reach out to them. Its not a “bad” idea, but how effective it is would depend on how specific the search is. However, you may want to try Adam4Adam.com. This gives you chance to browse providers and “wink” at them or imply that you’re open to a “companion/generous”. However, it’s a bit harder deciphering who’s who and best to stick with paid pro members, versus random hits asking if you’re “generous”.

Thankyou! I’m ready to next level everything: it’s already off to a great start (though the actual day of my birthday I’m just catching up on some loose ends, no pun intended 😉

I can imagine. And this is not to be judgmental because I’ve been there: literally AVAILABLE NOW and all day/all week waiting and waiting for a client to call. It’s not a good place to be, and actually had it occur last week when I was posted in a hotel in Arkansas. I shoulda stayed at my friend’s place, but it was a Friday night and a previous visit to the town got me a couple of clients. But to see someone “available now” all the time does make me feel like maybe business is slow for that guy or they are really in need of a client. Which again, not judging…nothing wrong with being available now. But if every time I log on I see the same escort “available now”, it does make me wonder.

Thanks for sharing your perspective. May I ask: how often do you find looking for “now” works out versus booking in advance? I am going thru my phone currently, as I’m now going to have (3) phones: 1 for personal use, one for clients, and one for my ads that I’ll be separating from the 2. One thing I noticed: I have 105 blocked numbers. 105! It may sound crazy and I’m considering redeeming all of these and starting fresh, but some of them are blocked because they refuse to book with any sort of notice even when suggested to do so. And I’m not just talking about being contacted the same “night”. But contacting me at like 7 a.m. asking if I can meet now. One guy kept messaging me at odd hours, and even though we had a fun 1st session..I blocked him because he would constantly contact me at the last minute, and each time it was an inconvenient time. I was like, if he can’t bother to use some common sense and find out a mutually agreeable time, I don’t want to deal with that.

This topic is quickly reverting to a topic about bathhouses, which isn’t the message. This sums it up well. But likewise there is no comparison. I’d say Grindr unfortunately is a bigger effect than bathhouses are. However, it’s still the same concept. I do know clients who talk of going to bathhouses, and they may call me before or after going anyway. And like you said: this thread hypothesis fails to address the biggest caveat: many cities outside of the NYCs DCs and San Frans, don’t have bathhouses as it is. I was in Arkansas last week in the middle of nowhere. You know what the bathhouse was? A Gay couple who owns a large home and pool. So, whether bathhouses open or close, Gay guys will be having sex parties (or gatherings where it involves wearing underwear around other men) regardless. Even in Orlando, the one big bathhouse by the name of club Orlando, I’ve browsed there and it’s not conducive. Also, many clients are often looking for sex during the day hours. Bathhouses often have slim pickings that time of day. You can probably pick up someone for sure, but it’s just enough to get you by usually. Bathhouse sex is like eating at McDonald’s until you have time to go out for Prime Rib 😂

https://www.oxfam.org/en/brazil-extreme-inequality-numbers

That can happen too, as well. I know last week I drove to a city and a client contacted me the 1st day I arrived. I was SOOO grateful because my other 2 contacts flaked and left me high and dry. It was a well reimbursed session, and I left town the next day because I didn’t expect anymore bookings. In fact, this guy had apparently seen me for years, but we were never in the same city. So by no means should anyone feel rude for asking if an escort is available “today”. But don’t do it if you have the option to plan ahead though. Of course, I’m probably wasting breath speaking of it. Some people intentionally don’t plan anything in advance. And I find Kansas City is an all time worse place to expect it. I’ve even had hookups with guys who are like, “I don’t plan hookups in advance”. It translates to: I don’t actually give a shit about the guys I meet, but I want them when I’m ready. The sad byproduct of repressed and shunned homosexuality.

That’s just the stereotype of gays. And I learned long time ago, Pride has nothing to do with being gay anymore. It’s akin to Gasparilla, Mardi Gras, and Christmas parades. With just a gay twist on things. It’s simply a holiday to dress wild and act out of element. But once people get that, they’re less likely to put too much expectation on it. What the news doesn’t cover: is the straight guy sitting next to his wife, texting me about how much he wants to feel me inside of him. Report that 📰 😆

#1: get rid of that whore bag roommate of yours: Or at-least tell him no more guests for sex. people like that are toxic. I specifically let go of a friend (who was also a former roommate) earlier this year for that reason. We would plan trips together and share a hotel room, and immediately he would be on a quest to have 1 or 2 guys over. Occasionally I would even partake, but I'm not about to be a spectator to someone's sexual addiction. Eventually I had to separate because he was always on a sexual quest, and we weren't even fucking. #2: stop fantasizing over artificial types of White men. Same with the guy mentioned above, he was always chasing White dick. I'm not trying to be racist, but the issue is people build this wall against themselves when they are constantly trying to put others of a certain look on a pedestal. All it does is perpetuate superiority complex, and does nothing to level out the gay community as a whole. #3: if Boston is not conducive to what you are needing, consider relocating. I know non of these are quick decisions...but maybe you'll find your place in a different state or city: Midwest, Arizona, even San Francisco (if you prefer big cities) all offer a smaller older community while having decent offerings. I will say though, the guy pictured looks hmm hmm good! BUT, just know that a guy of that type is likely going to want someone of similar attributes.

Same as what @Jamie21 said. This situation is different. It's also overseas travel. As for clients cancelling an advanced arranged booking...that too can be disappointing as well, and I even get clients who will say, "I don't book in advance because I don't want to look like a flake if I end up having to cancel". That's all in good faith, but I still believe even a little planning is better than non. Again: I understand the typical stereotype of gay sex and prostitution, is last minute...on the spot sex. Even many porn videos portray sex as easy as picking up the phone, or giving a stranger a winky 😉 eye. And boom, awesome sex just happens that instant. And sometimes it does. I've had great sessions that were not made in advance. But, people gotta let go of the fantasy part when scheduling us. I don't buy the "Idk when I'll be horny" excuse. You know if someone you like pulls out a dick, you'll be horny and want it in you. Then again, I understand a good majority of my client base are bi-married men in their 50s and 60s with fluctuating libidos. Maybe they do have to feel some external or internal trigger to want to have sex with another guy, which may happen spur of moment. I wouldn't know how it is to be programmed like that. I can be horny on the spot or in advance, it doesn't matter. What does matter is, finding out which I can accommodate at the moment of contact. Horny now does not equate to, ready to see a man who I've never met, at a hotel 20 miles away...or coming to my hotel when I just arrived and haven't had time to properly groom myself and get ready.

Yah, see I don't do appointments 3 and 4 months in advance. Back in the days of Rentboy and men4rent, I used to get those requests more often and they'd stick. Nowadays, unless it's a long time regular or overnight who's asking to meet in a different city...I'll tell them to contact me 1 to 2 days prior. I'm not a stickler for scheduling by the minute and hour on the dot, but taking the time to coordinate a visit, finding out when the provider can come is better than trying to haphazardly get someone to arrive...when there may have been no expectation of that happening. Yes, I'm available today. No I'm not available to arrive (or have you arrive) in 5 minutes. Like let's talk about that. People want to come over asap like I'm running a barbershop. I'm not a barbershop lol. I even noticed my barber got irritated today when a client called him too close to the time he leaves. I'm like, i feel your frustration lol.

And this is okay too. You say available within a few hours...however for some, they'll text at noon and then get bent out of shape if I say I can't meet until like 3 or 4. I had one guy earlier this week in a city who sounded like the "lunch time brigade". That is: guys who can only meet between 12 and 2 usually. When I'm traveling, I don't work those hours usually. I don't want to book an extra day or pay extra to check into a hotel, because of 1 client who can't meet at any other time. I told him send me a deposit, which he didn't trust doing from a "stranger" (a stranger with like 50+ A+ reviews across the net). I said forget it.

I guess that was the right thing to do versus just blowing you off on subsequent appointment requests. I actually am considering sending one out to someone else, and probably should have. This guy has contacted me before last year. I’d send him follow ups to meet, and get no reply. This week, he contacts me out the blue again Monday. I’m out of town. I send a message back saying I missed his call, but noticed we’d tried to schedule previously and he didn’t follow up. And I specifically asked, are you ready to set aside time to schedule a visit this time. I hear nothing back until 7 a.m. this morning (Thursday), saying sorry his schedule is crazy and asking if I can meet now. I understand if his schedule is crazy, but he contacted me Monday, and didn’t respond at all until this morning. What kind of common sense courtesy is that? I told him 99% of the time, I do not take short notice bookings. On top of that, he has no info on my rates, I have no info except a name from him or anything because it’s been awhile since he last contacted me. People like that are a pain to deal with, and need to be blocked. I’ll give him until the end of the day to reply, after that he’s going on the list. I won’t even bother with a dismissal letter because if I see a guy consistently being inconsiderate, they aren’t even decent enough of a person to make right of any situation.

Juan Vancouver Michael Vincenzo JD Daniels Steven Draker

I ask because as of lately: it often seems like I’ll get appointment requests asking to meet “today”. At times I’m able to do so, but the majority of times there’s no sort of notice. It’s so many occasions lately that if I don’t take the appointment on the day they contact, the same day they contact, it often won’t happen at all. People have contacted me at 10, or 11 pm, or just at random throughout the day when I’ve not anticipated any appointments to be set up. I always ensure in my ad that I mention I meet only on advanced notice, and if it is a same day request, they need to be able to reach me a couple or few hours ahead…because, I have life and the city I’m in is very spread out: even with a car, I’m not usually ready to run out and take a booking. Ironically enough, when I do post in the city for a few hours, I get NOTHING. Just as soon as I start to wrap up the day and head home, someone wants to meet RIGHT NOW. And a lot of times I’m like, if I say no…I’ll probably never end up meeting them. But if I say yes, that may mean another long drive across town, that goes well into the evening hours. Majority of the time, they either don’t want to wait, or we agree to reschedule the next day, but they don’t return messages or cancel.