JB_Studio38

Right because, one can’t use an example of 1 person to tar the entire industry’s need for deposits. And as I’ve said before, on our side: things aren’t any different. We can spend $500 on hotels/travel multiple times throughout our “career” and not make it back. I just spent over $250 in a city I went where there was nothing but freebie seekers hitting me up. I could have hooked up with 3-4 guys but, non of them wanted to pay. Non of my regular clients were anywhere to be found, and only 1 new client ended up booking during the 2 days I stayed. Normally I would never do that, but because I was traveling long distance between areas, and knew people: I didn’t mind taking the risk. But normally I would never go on any trips without deposits. And now for “the popular opinion”: followed by: I think the above ⬆️ ⬆️ could find its way here one day. But maybe on Saturn 🪐

…I posted this the other day, in reference to the post about the doctor and the “thug”. I think the deeper context of this should be posted, otherwise it sounds too cliché. But I don’t think it’s a good way to describe Adam 4 Adam. Not everybody on Adam is a dog. I met a client couple months ago from Adam, who gave me 2 hour’s worth of “time” and paid for me a separate hotel room where he was staying, on top of it. Like I said…just takes a bit of weeding and filtering

JarrodBrandonXXX I know the OP lives in San Francisco, so that in itself can make things a bit more complex. A dense city with labyrinth like buildings, sometimes 3 layers of security (gate to park, key to enter, key for hotel probably too). I definitely find those things can be annoying, but it’s also why I try to pick simple places to host. Since I have always driven into San Francisco, that’s been important. If I have to do a million things before I can get up to my room, that’s just doing too much…and I’m sure a client would be flustered also

I don’t think hardly any hotels rent hourly anymore. Between inflation, immigration woes, and an overall increase in hotel crime/anti-sex work politics: An hourly hotel seems unlikely. You will probably save more in any city, just going a few miles outside of town or using either 3rd party apps, or budget brand chains.

Although it’s not the best site, I still meet clients from there from time to time (the ones who contact me 1st, I don’t contact them first) It’s not as tedious to find them as it used to be, it’s just now it is quieter and not as many people reaching out…but in a way it’s good because it’s less Timewasters than places like the hookup apps are. ADAM 4 ADAM is very city dependent. Some cities are okay for it, others suck. I used to find it okay in San Francisco, but as the hookup “apps” (adam4adam also has an app) have come on the scene, its popularity has dropped. Some of the smaller cities, aren’t broken down into enough neighborhoods. But it’s about the same as RentMen. But at $30 a month, it’s stayed affordable. I would like clients to use it more, because it can be useful if you are willing to filter. It used to attract a lot of shady types, but many of those have now moved on to the other apps lol. In my case, hosting requires me to rent a suite most of the time. That’s added expenses. Also, I have to drive usually outside of where I stay, to get to that hotel in the first place. So hosting is usually more expenses for me, versus $10-$50 gas going to the next town/state over.

I definitely think social media and politics are main ones. Lots of articles on how narcissism and social media go hand in hand. And so many in the “community” gravitate towards the social media platforms. However most of the industry’s audience are older, so I would think it wouldn’t be as much a factor. But idk if I can say that either.

The problem is, RentMen and others aren’t doing enough to prevent it. I’ve made suggestions on how they can mitigate it, but nothing has been taken into action. The only options currently, are taking down our number or only allowing the registered clients to view. More should be done though. I think the scammer thing is a by product of so many content creators trying to get into the game, and also just the general state of scammers infiltrating everything from toll notices to dating profiles. However some aren’t always scammers, they’re just Timewasters or childish dudes who think playing on an escort’s line and being disrespectful is empowering.

Reminiscent of price is right, I wanted to make a similar question posed by @Rudynate But I feel this way about the industry at times. Namely the few things that really get to me are: 1) Same day appointments: I understand being horny and sometimes it can be helpful. But majority of the time, same day appointments do not work. How can 2 men who don’t know nothing about each others schedule, location or availability get in the same room? I understand if it’s a regular who is accustomed to each other’s time schedule, but so many new clients try to book a same day visits. I usually have to wrap up plans to attend. Ironically, those same clients are rarely ever available same day themselves…when I initiate it. So it’s usually better to not do them at all. 2) Hotels: I just spent over $200 in the last couple days on a hotel…and although the money was set aside for it already, I haven’t quite earned it back. People often ask me to host, but the days I set aside to host, people don’t always show up. 3) Dismissive/annoying men: similar to the same day request brigade, it almost seems every other day/week…there’s some prick waiting to push a button. If you’re strong willed and use templates/auto reply on rentmen messenger etc, it’s a bit easier. But overall, I hate how some random can find their way onto my phone and act like a total ass: and kill my vibe. And it’s not always Timewasters either. Sometimes it’s clients too. Check yourself and make sure your tone isn’t cock, condescending or belittling towards escorts. 4) Dead Cities/States: I’ve seen many cities that used to be good 10-15 years ago, now aren’t hitting much. Having RentMen as a main male escort site is not conducive. And it’s so many guys per city advertising. Some cities, I’m hardly even getting hits from RentMen at all. Even the cities with less ads aren’t always guaranteed to be busy, and like I said in #2: a DECENT non-motel 6 hotel in many areas are $100 a night minimum. I can’t wait around for 3-4 days paying that amount with nothing confirmed. And that’s why I ask for… 5) Deposits: I rarely book without them. Some clients expect us to magically pull money out of thin air (aka our own accounts/pockets) for lodging, hotels, commute, and all that’s involved: with no money upfront. That’s unfair and just not sensible in my view. It’s one thing if a guy is just like “come over to my studio/home”, but even when I used to offer that 24/7, a good portion still wouldn’t show up as anticipated. 6) Hookup apps: I feel they continue to ruin the industry. I don’t feel they compete with clients, but it’s created a culture where people are expecting bare minimum. People are willing to hook up for free and with no phone number, it’s become super trashy 🚮, and it’s unsafe. If someone harms you on a hookup app and you have no phone number, good luck being found. The fact people are doing this, is reckless at best. All that said, is it worth it? I’d say it can be…but some days it doesn’t always feel like it.

I’ve mentioned somewhere before: if the person is contacting you for the service, it’s probably suspect. Not always, especially if you looked at them first. However if you didn’t look at them and they hit you up, it’s a bit SUS. It’s not much worse on the escort end than RentMen and RentMasseur which is also home of “can I paint a mural of you/be your sugar daddy allowance” scams we get. It’s one thing to ask for full advance payment, but a deposit for a nominal amount towards the session is not of the same kind of request. I will give an example of someone just today, complaining on my phone about my deposit policy which is clearly on my website. I showed him the same thing that I will show here: how he requested a booking, back in December…said he was going to get back and then never replied. Only to hit me up today asking for a same day appointment like…nothing happened (he’s in Grey, I’m in Green): So not only was this person not reliable, but the lack of respect of boundaries and dismissive tone: why the fucking hell would I want to meet someone like this? How can he even get an attitude with me, when HE was the one who didn’t follow thru, and then hits me up 2+ months later out the blue, for a SAME DAY BOOKING ON A SUNDAY like nothing happened? These mother fuckers are out of their raggedy ass minds 😆 I would never open my door or get in my car for these non deposit guys. They can go be another escort or masseur’s problem, but I’m not the one ❌ People like that are why I require deposits. $50 for outcall and $100 for me to host. If I have to travel out of city/state or overnight: it’s up to $250 or half the fee. There’s a lot of games on the sites, and it’s not just from other escorts. I’ve been requiring a deposit for years, and I’ve not seen a cause to drop it for any reason. Guys who don’t want to arrange deposits, are not the type of clients I want to see. Like I said in another thread, my years of experience in the industry is extensive: and anyone saying how other guys don’t ask for deposits, or another guy scammed them: isn't my prerogative. What I do know is, I see no reason to meet an anon stranger off the street who can’t furnish atleast a portion of the season ahead of time.

Not sure I follow you but, unfortunately the media isn’t too kind when it comes to protecting people’s private affairs. I can’t think of much worse than being X’d and having your business all over national and international/BBC news (excuse the pun). But at the same time, it does leave open room for gossip and interpretations. Non of it is necessarily wrong, but it shouldn’t just be one side only…all it does is create a false narrative that is unfair, and it paints Blacks, gays, escorts and clients in a negative light: while making like the “White professional” was not enabling the circumstances in any way: which couldn’t be further from the truth. And like I say, my extensive 19 years in the industry: I’ve seen it all and some. I won’t even tell the half 🤐

Having spent hotel nights watching Forensics Files and First 48 Tulsa (Don’t ask me why murder mysteries fascinate people…but if anything it’s educational that it’s not always who you think it is), it could be anything. It’s too early to speculate anything at this point, cases like this can take longer than a few weeks to figure out. That said, Tucson is quite a beautiful place. But the streets can be sketchy. It attracts retirees like Florida does, but also has college and resort communities. I took a picture while out “hiking” (which was really more of a jogging trail) last year.

Lately in the past week, I’ve just been focusing on client sessions. Sometimes when it’s quiet I “go out to play”, but my current area has been fairly consistent with getting sessions throughout the week even in between slow days. I don’t necessarily have to be fucking everyday. So I won’t spilling milk 🥛 on hookups right now, unless I feel they’re trying to be part of something.

I don’t recommend it for sure. But in smaller cities with less gay viewers on RentM, sometimes Grindr and others (have heard of guys using other apps) are all that’s available. I still dislike Grindr, because it’s a piece of sh!t site and doesn’t help the escort industry much, but similar to how Craigslist and Adam4Adam were once useful occasional outlets, Grindr can be too depending where in the world you are.

Facts, Miami is the one of the only true tropical areas in the state. But this year’s cold snap broke a whole lot of records. I never been in Miami and seen it get down to 35 degrees There difference between Florida and here in the Midwest: it turns 80 in Florida the very next week. The Midwest doesn’t see 80 until April or May 😟 Now I know why half of my high school and middle school parents were from Michigan/Indy/Nor’East

I did did the other day: However he also had a RentM client profile as well, which of course I’m well reviewed on. He sent deposit, I reserved accommodations, and he showed up and everything was fine. I don’t typically use it for bookings, but I know oftentimes that’s the main site where most traffic comes thru on. I will say, I have better luck and wider audience on apps than in person at bars and such. I also don’t “hit clients up first”, which makes a difference. The client has to make the first move. And me being not super approachable in public as it is, Grindr makes it easier to be approached where I normally wouldn’t be.

Technically no but, when it’s something that shows our community (gays/blacks) and the industry (some articles even calling the guy a “male prostitute”) in a negative light, I don’t mind spending extra time on it. And when someone comes along touting how much human trash a person is: it doesn’t necessarily paint the chooser of the trash in a better light either. Especially considering it was an on going arrangement. And the question is, what was behind it that allowed it to continue? And how can the dynamic be better handled. But if all that’s focused on is the crook versus the dynamic, it doesn’t necessarily fix the current and future problems that exist in these scenarios. That’s the whole point I was making. Update: a friend of mine who was attending a court hearing, also came across a gay couple we know filing a restraining order against some “party twink” who they allowed into their mansion. We as a community have to understand if someone appears to be slimy, grimy, conniving: get them out of your peripheral. And people who fit the description, need to see a professional, or read some books. Otherwise:

I know you were agreeing with Bozo, but nothing I said alluded to the DB guy being in the right by any means. I was simply saying there may have been some enabling going on, in clickable quote: The text messages establish that Desmond Burks and Dr. Hoover were in an intimate relationship with one another and on occasion Desmond Burks would charge Dr. Hoover for sexual services. So, all I was saying was: in my experience: it seems like there was muddying up of the roles and intent of meeting. If he wasn’t getting paid ALL the time, then was he even an escort? If he was “occasionally” getting paid, was it a relationship? My point was, I’ve seen it many times: I’ve seen wealthy White and Jewish men who like the company of Black men very much: but they don’t always want to book an professional escort. Or they may not really know how to find good ones. On top of that, I’ve known some that keep a “tribe” of dudes in and out of their home and circle. This is why I no longer deal with guys who are reckless in their dealings like that, because it is a security issue. And I don’t want to end up being a suspect in a case where somebody else did something, and I get accused of it. Nowadays, if I want to have a financial exchange with someone: I’m doing it professional 100%. I’m not just sorta dating, sorta having a sugar daddy, sorta being an escort. I even shared homes with a couple clients at times, and even though we would spend time together, there was never a muddy “we’re boyfriends, but you pay me also” situation. If that’s the case, the paid situation should be left entirely. Again, not saying I know all the facts about how it went down: but me and most of my gay friends know what’s up. In fact, I know a guy right now, who lives 10 miles away; commercial realtor, married with husband: but has random guys coming and going all the time. One of his party guys, is in a current legal dispute with my friend. Which I won’t discuss the details. Most people just get lucky and don’t have any bad incidents like this, but it still happens. And there’s a lot of violence in the gay community that gets turned a blind eye, and never makes it to the media. That’s why I made the suggestions in regards. Regardless, the 2nd worst part of the case is the embarrassment and exposing of details.

Yes, please let it be your last post on this topic: because all you want to do is keep saying the same thing like a broken record, versus even trying to understand what I’m talking about. And I never said I didn’t know nothing about the case. Instead of talking shit about someone else, like you always do: let’s talk about you. About how you’re in constant disagreement and create animosity with me and other posters. And how you say things to try and belittle someone. Please, escort yourself out if all you doing is arguing and dismissing my opinion and experiences. And while we’re on the topic of doctors, you may want to be a bit more understanding that clown phobia is real: so your aggressive tone makes me wonder about you 🤔 At this point, don’t even speak to me if you going to have that attitude every time I post something. I was actually giving you credit for resurfacing this thread, but you’re so unappreciative that it didn’t fit your narrative…I take it back. But overall, whether I know about the facts or not: what I do know is I’ve seen just about anything and everything in my 19 years in the industry. And I still haven’t seen it all. And that’s living in multiple cities and states. So it’s not fair to discredit my experience.

You can always go to Florida to get away from the snow, but no guarantees 🤣

Again, if you want to stay ignorant and ignore the writings on the…wall of facts, that’s on you. And you’re damn right my theory says he played a role. Otherwise the scenario would have never happened. You mean to tell me, someone living in a mansion didn’t have ample security or at least a “safe person” on premise or on call to monitor during these escapades? Don’t use other people’s reading of the thread, to suppress the reality. That’s clownish. Which, I would expect from you 🤣 But regardless I’m going to say it like it appears. Where you are stuck at is: you think everything I’m saying is about him. I’m not talking just about him. The tragedy that happened, happened. It can’t be erased. The judge and jury already sealed his fate. What I’m talking about is the future and the present. And about how many clients and escorts get into these toxic dynamics. They’re never talked about because society prefers to talk about ICE, immigration rights, women’s rights, Black Lives Matter rights: but there’s not enough discussion about sex workers and clients rights. It can be talked about right here, but you hinder progress when you just want to talk about how they don’t look good together, or how the “escort” was a killer and the “client” was 100% innocent and couldn’t have avoided this in any possible way. And like I said in my other thread, and for the 100th time: the dude who killed him was likely schizo, toxic, and should have been avoided. No doubt. But, a person in his right mind (without Pnp or other vices at play), should have picked this up ahead of time. Again, idk what the specifics of the dynamic were, but I can assume the red flags 🚩 were all over.

I know enough about the case to know what dynamic it likely was: and cold blooded murder it doesn’t sound like, especially if 4,000 text messages were exchanged over a period of time. I don’t even need to know all the details because I see it all the fucking time. Also, as I said in my other thread: I know a friend who lives in Detroit, who has been actively following the story and discussed a bit of info on it the other day. The very fact this guy was patronizing Palmer Park to pick up trade, says a lot. I also didn’t say this case had anything to do with those things you related it to, however it still plays a part. What’s wrong with pointing out that the “M4M” community isn’t always wrapped too tight or innocent and could use counseling? Are you saying this whole thing just happened because of ONE person and one person only? I doubt it. I don’t know everything that went down, and YOU don’t know everything that went down either. You don’t know what kind of requests he was making to the “thug boy”. Never will because he took the guilty plea, which avoided lengthy revelations that would probably make E-Files look like a lullaby 🤣 That’s the whole point I’m making. That’s why even we as escorts, screen, use Blacklist apps, etc. That’s why clients have access to reviews and sites like this. Vetting who is allowed into our space is a healthy and important thing to do. Having weird guys off the street who’s “handsome” is not. Edit: and you can keep rolling your eyes but, I know it’s easier to view it as the bad guy/good guy versus accepting that the other party played a role in the scenario as well. When emotional suppression becomes your norm, you’ll find ways to numb. Food. Alcohol. Hustle. Control. “Helping.” Codependency is exhausting. And when you can’t stop giving to others, you’ll often turn to something to soothe what you’re not receiving.

I was talking with my friends who are familiar with Detroit, and they mentioned something about Palmer Park that the Doctor apparently went to pick up another person: https://www.cruisinggays.com/detroit/areas/1205-palmer-park/ Again, not the best way to carry out these things. I would not be bringing tricks from a park to my home, anything that goes down would have to be at a hotel. I’ve been doing that for the past 2 years anyway lol.

Cool your heels…you’re so angry, you’re missing the point entirely. I just made a topic the other day, about how much I dislike people like the perpetrator. And I can go on and on about how stupid he probably is, but then that would assume I’m talking about a “sane” person…which in this case likely not. When I said not casting blame on either side, I was meaning it in a way that was simply saying: I won’t “blame” the doctor for his own fate BUT, I have seen this dynamic play out so many times with other people, ESPECIALLY when it comes down to “younger Black guy/older wealthy White guy” dynamic. You wouldn’t understand what I’m saying, because you haven’t seen the things I’ve seen in the context. I’ve seen it many times: wealthy White guy, keeps a gaggle of young/financially challenged Black men in/out of their homes. He doesn’t necessarily want to “pay for an escort” the proper way, but rather have someone around he can be a daddy to (even if he’s a bottom), and kinda have on 24/7 call. Not quite sugar daddy, but they may have differing views. The problem is some of these “genius” White guys try to “game” the system by seeking someone who’s not too bright, and potentially dangerous. Where giving someone $500 for an all out weekend, sounds better than $1,500 for an overnight. A wealthy guy who is going for someone in his mid 30s, who doesn’t have anything but him to depend on is certainly a 🤨 That said, I don’t know the specifics of this one, however it wouldn’t surprise me.

It certainly feels intentional. The guys act all interested and communicative initially, but then can’t be concerned after the fact. Like they’re afraid to even hint at wanting to be interested in a repeat or steady situation. The other caveat is many clients tend be mostly “unavailable”. Some can rarely meet when I am looking to meet, they can only do so when they can “break away”. I don’t mind making effort to connect with clients, but so many times it seems like, “I can only meet 1 day this WHOLE month.” That’s where I then get tempted to go out, and be open to meet somebody to hookup with. But I regret it if the dude turns out to be a douche 🍼 , and the cycle repeats 😮‍💨 That does happen less when it’s someone I know who knows that person, almost like there’s more accountability.

Leaving content creation out of the subject, lately I’ve had like 2-3 hookups over the past couple weeks. All 3 guys were hot and fun to mess with, but afterwards I found they didn’t seem interested in reconnecting, and basically ghosted off after doing the deed. There also didn’t seem to be any purpose of fucking them, except for getting off. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but it’s more about the lack of wanting to maintain a friendship that I pick up from them afterwards. Almost like I’m just a personified dildo to them 🤣 It’s leading me to think, random hookups becoming pointless when it’s not someone I’ve known thru friends/social networks. Some of these guys I may meet at a nightclub but sometimes it’s from apps too. Though I don’t necessarily go on apps “because I’m horny”. I’m mostly looking to see who’s in the area and potentially find a new friend or client. But so many in the gay scene these days, it’s all about the next best thing they can get ahold of. It does suck because I like to eye a sexy man from time to time, and I like to allow myself a day or 2 of “free time” each week to meet guys outside of clients. But the timing of hookups isn’t always convenient to the timing of client availability: and I like to avoid expending energy on a hookup, and not be able to perform for a planned or unexpected session. Idk what this means or what I can do about it, but ideally I feel I may just reserve non-client sex for guys who I have a friendship or relationship with. At least with clients, even if it’s not a regular thing: there’s payment. But the idea of hooking up with someone who may not even want anything to do with me after, it’s got me feeling like my days of hooking up with “strangers” outside of clients is not fun anymore: it’s work and waste of time. However it’s easier said than done because clients aren’t usually able to maintain a steady or repeat meetups, and the ones who do I often feel tend to be polyamorous. Plus, so many guys out there who are conventionally attractive, don’t pay. Plus I enjoy the cuddling, the conversations, and chats I can’t really get with clients. But so many first date hookups just feel like free appointments, unless you really know the guy/see them regularly thru friends, etc. Any escorts/clients care to share?