Jarrod_Uncut

Because after a set amount of time, I can’t edit it. Millions of years from now 🦕, someone may be aimlessly looking up my RentMen name 🤷🏾‍♂️

I do so because I hope to in some way, encourage non-posters who may be reading: to not buy into these “DON’T EVER SEND DEPOSIT” lines because, there’s two sides to the equation. And it is sad to lose potential clients because they expect me to be willing to take more risk than they are and don’t trust me as a sex worker and non-White person in business. So $50-$100 may be small fries, but for me it could mean $50-$100 lost PLUS what I was expecting and whatever else spent. So yeah, I will defend it whenever I see someone trying to make it seem like guys who ask for them are scams.

So the other day, I had somebody texting me while I was driving from one area to the next. Since I was posting ahead of time in a city I would be open to stop in if I had an appointment, but I wasn’t doing that blindly with no appointments. Stopping in cities requires a hotel, obviously to stay and host. But I often have a plan B alternate route in case I don’t. In this case it was exactly that, because if not I was going to go a different direction: (me in blue) In my head I’m like: dude, can you just tell me when you can meet? Eventually I ended up getting annoyed and telling him off because, why are you hitting me up for an appointment if you’re so busy with other people? I don’t like to send off a client but, many times people text when I’m commuting between locations and instead of just doing what’s being asked: they try to turn it into a conversation and what they “might” or “maybe” be able to do. Like no, I have to make a decision before I get to the next exit because one road goes in one direction, the other road goes in another. Once I get on either, it’ll either be too late to turn back, or take extra time if I do turn back around. This is why on my RM auto reply I’ve recently updated it to add questions like: Host/Travel: City You’re In: Days/Times: In this particular client above case, I shouldn’t have had to pick around and figure out when he could meet. It would have been nice if he just initially stated when he was looking for, but it seemed to me he was just poking around to see if I was actually in town 🤦🏾‍♂️ I often have to convey: Even if my ad shows in a place, it doesn’t always mean: A. I’m there yet and B. Even if I am, I may only be planning to go for specific booking and limited time. Not just hanging around with unlimited time to burn.

The supporting data is right here (not from me, but another provider in the biz).

I just received a deposit today. So…what’s the message? It’s not going to change my mind because: I’ve done the game without deposits, and done the game with deposits. I’m more at peace with than I was without. I was explaining on another forum: I didn’t decide to take deposits because things were “Going great”. I started taking deposits because things got bad at some point. It doesn’t matter peoples opinions on here because: we are the ones who have to shoulder the burden of flaked bookings, not guys on the forum. I still say to this day: I had to abandon my cozy condo in Denver back in 2015 because 2 key clients didn’t keep their word and show up. One was a regular who just all of sudden started flaking on me, another couldn’t make it to town because the weather. Both of them should have sent courtesy cancellation fees considering they were high amount bookings. But I was young and dumb and just let them do whatever. Granted: I would have likely given it up anyway because Denver got slow and the prices steady went up: but I was planning to do that when the time was right. I just provided a whole mathematical essay on how much no shows and cancellations can cost (though that’s more speculative equations for illustrative purposes, not meant to insinuate how much money I actually lost). Dime a dozen? If you feel that way, why pay at all? If it’s that easy to get a guy…You should have no need to be looking for paid encounters at all. That’s the exact mentality why some providers charge deposits to begin with: people will try to pull some slick move and not pay their part. The average gay dude would tell you, “guys are a dime a dozen, why are you paying for one”. So, no need to put down clients who send deposits. I’ve had Sexy and wealthy clients send deposit. It’s not thinking with their Dick, it’s being a courteous client who respects their partner(s). I also have to do deposits because many clients desire me to host: and since I travel and have to host in hotel, that means gas and cash for hotels. For example: hotels also charge deposits, which unfortunately have to be passed onto the client. I was talking to a hotel manager earlier today, he said the same thing: before Covid he never charged deposits but now: somehow Covid must have fucked with people’s brain to make them disrespectful towards sex workers, flight attendants, and hotel rooms 🤷🏾‍♂️

And more tips from professionals:

That not entirely accurate. Like I said earlier, I have heard from clients get ripped off using cash before also. If $50-$100 is all you lose from a deposit: consider yourself fortunate. Wasn’t there a story around here about a girl in Vegas who made out with $50,000 of cash in the guy’s safe? Remember: scams have been around longer than Venmo and Cash App. If someone wants to scam or rob you, they will not let a deposit get in the way. Only way to prevent being scammed is to go to a reputable provider: Also in reference to how you find a professional provider? Only thing I would say “doesn’t apply” is the no nude/XXX pics things. In fact, I’ve seen a scam ad from someone who lives in Washington DC, that was being used in San Jose, Ca. I knew the guy personally, and that guy does not have nude pictures out there. But he’s also not an escort. Whoever was in Cali was using his pictures but didn’t have any nudes in the ad. Which kinda seemed red flag. I have learned at the end of the day: selling s*x is hard. And it’s become a bit harder with the apps. But it can be particularly harder in some areas more than others. Couple that with being a Black provider with a bit of boundaries, that many men can’t respect because all they hear and see on the news is Blacks being involved in crime, etc. ESPECIALLY in middle America but pretty much everywhere except New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana where there aren’t many of us: it’s hard to run a biz and not be automatically labelled as a scammer/criminal. Like I’ve said before, just the very fact of us selling product: people try to label us as a scam. Then add whatever racial component to it, doubles. I’ve worked hard for a long time to build a solid rep, and I never scam clients out or deposits… I even left a date the other night last week day after Valentine’s, to meet a client who sent a deposit without asking. When I tried to schedule him the next day, he responded back that he couldn’t but “maybe next time”. But I don’t live in the city, so I had to weigh “free” time against paid time and integrity: so I told my date I had to take the booking, and he was upset I could tell but understanding because…that was the only appointment I’ve had in two weeks that actually panned out. And if I didn’t take it, that would have been $500 lost.

And that’s great, I’m glad you understand the magnitude of it all. As I’ve said elsewhere before; I and probably even @AngusStevensxxx have done without deposits for a long time. Yes: I used to never take deposits. I started in 2008 with a laptop and gay.com. I had a basic flip phone with no pay apps. I get it. I understand some clients like to do “what they’ve been doing for the past 30 years”. But that doesn’t mean shit in the big scheme of things. Times are different. People change. These days, hooking up and ghosting has become ACCEPTABLE. Even clients who pay, I know are on hookup apps. I met with a client the other night, and I could hear his phone making the Grindr ding. I didn’t say anything, but it goes to show: he probably ghosted someone or someone ghosted him, or he’s just browsing killing time. Who knows. I just know I got my deposit and went over to see him. These days, and specifically in the markets I work (Midwest, long distance drives, flaky clientele): I require a deposit. Now: if I was in say a fun place like Palm Springs or South Beach Miami and just had a room or apartment; I probably wouldn’t take a deposit. I’d just be trying to get guys to come as they come. In fact, when I’m resorting to seeking Grindr clients; I won’t take a deposit at all. But that’s because I know they are close range, and I’m putting little investment. Plus I know many of them aren’t trying to pay anyway…so I try to get them in as easiest as possible. But they are always same day, spur of hour or miss the chance. It’s a whole different playing field that I don’t generally prefer.

Again, you’re talking about a one time thing. That would be like an escort saying: “I got a hotel to host a client ONCE and he didn’t show, I never hosted again”. Let’s talk about how many times I’ve had clients who didn’t show after I paid for accommodations and travel since I started in 2008, and how many didn’t show, faked in their communications etc etc etc. Everything from the blatant no shows, to the ghosts, to the ones who I thought would show but didn’t: Just do a low number of 4x a week, multiplied by 16 years. That’s an estimate of 3,328 times I’ve been scammed. Double it for ALL inquiries, and the number is 6,656. Times that by an average of $250 per flaked session: that’s $1,664,000 dollars LOST. Divided by 16 🟰 $104,000 annually. Never recovered. And you’re bitching about your one time? Bitch…goodbye ✌️😆 As has been repeated over and over: we as escorts deal with that ALL THE TIME. People will often say, “that’s part of doing business” and yes it is. But it’s also part of you hiring. Hell, I’ve given many examples over the years of clients getting scammed just paying cash. I will say this plainly: CLIENTS ARE STUPID IF THEY THINK THEY WONT GET SCAMMED BY PAYING CASH. Why? I’ve seen more than once clients get ripped off paying cash. I won’t say the details, but it’s very easy. If I was low integrity, I’d be doing it myself and making more money than I am now. The fact you’re paying for sex alone: is a risk to get scammed. Someone can take your money, and then knock you over the head with a frying pan 🍳 Or have someone else in a closet do it. Or just not fuck you, at best. Not exactly Jeffrey Dahmer, but safety as A WHOLE is not based on upfront money. that’s an example of why deposit has nothing to do with it. You are equating deposit to bad experience when in reality, it has nothing to do with that. You can go on a free site and a dude will do the same thing. I’m pretty sure more people get killed/robbed meeting people on Grindr, than RentMen. RentMen requires members to sign up with a credit card OR drivers license to get photos verified. Grindr does not. I collect deposits because: I can’t afford to gamble money anymore. I also travel across states, pay for hotels etc. I’m not just a guy hanging out in an apartment or seeing clients within a 5 mile radius. Many of my bookings are 3-4 hours minimum away. On the occasion I have local clients, it’s always last minute. For example: I had a client contact me the day after valentines when I was spending time with a new boyfriend. If he didn’t already send the deposit without me asking, I wouldn’t have taken him serious. But because he did: I cancelled movie night with him, and took care of responsibility. I’m not going to invest that level of sacrifice to someone who’s half-assed in their confirms. And to the guy who said he’s a doctor or whatever: medical care cannot be compared to sex work. I understand that’s also an industry where no shows happen: but you are running a standing practice office. You’re not getting hotels AND treating patients. You’re not traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago AND treating patients. If you were, you’d be asking for something right? And here’s another example: regular client of mine from Kansas City. Pays well ($400-$500 every booking), but he still cancelled on me and refuses to reply to me asking for a cancellation fee, even though I let him slide without a deposit last time. Fortunately, I didn’t bother making the drive until the next morning…but that also affected my trip to Buffalo, New York. Both him and a few others ghosted me the week I was trying to make a visit up to the area. I’m appalled (I’m in blue bubble, regular client who’s seen me in a different city in gray)

Well that and just someone very obsessive and maybe into mind games if they called between a time that soloyo was busy. Then again, if they were “dating”, it sounds like they met more than once? Idk, hell I could name a million situations where a potential possibility failed to communicate properly, both in and out of sex work. Like saying goes, it takes 2 to tango. If 2 people really want to make something happen, they’ll do so. Sometimes it’s not about who said what or didn’t say what, miscommunications etc etc. Like in one of my examples above, the other party had the option to put more effort into planning the booking.

Yeah, typical weak yet controlling client…not wanting to do the work to communicate, and throwing his toys 🧸 on the floor. He should have better explained his situation. But then again, that’s why I am doing consultation fees, deposits and not showing my number as much. Dealing with that a few times, over a few days and not getting anything to show at the end of the week: and you lose your patience very quick…

Well, in another universe…this exact same thing has been discussed recently: I think gay culture has made many male escorts treat this like a “side gig” that isn’t to be taken seriously. Many even self profess not taking it seriously either. Some are also on drugs, no matter how professional their ads come off. Weekend warriors, or they are partnered to a man or women. I also notice this from the client side, like the guy in the above post I made. He’s wanting attention without actually giving me anything to work with. GI creative professional tells me 0 about the client and what he’s looking for. Absolutely nothing. Doesn’t even address me by name. He might as well sent that to 1,000,000 different guys. And sure enough, he never booked a session this time around. I actually stopped at a rest stop while driving to text him…because I needed to quickly decide whether to take the highway going north to where he was, or west to go home because I needed to figure out before I got to the crossroad. All he does is tell me he doesn’t want to send a deposit, nor isn’t available at the time I would arrive to town. But that he would “try” to break free tomorrow. After saying he was free all day Saturday…assuming I had no plans of my own. I told him: (he’s in Grey texting me in blue) A thumbs up, really? It’s stuff like that which is why I don’t want my phone number displayed. Even “registered users” are just as much timewasters as any others. They just blatantly not read my ad otherwise they wouldn’t say the exact same shit that I have plainly in my profile 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s why in my RM auto responder now, I’m making sure they agree to TWO (2) things before they see my number. Like I literally have to block myself out behind a message in order for them to comprehend. I prefer to work in a professional manner. That’s why I’ve taken the word “Consultant” and applied it to what I am. Escort has lost its professional meaning and has been replaced by “RentMan, Masseur”. I told RentMen I’m sick of the BS clients on the site. We need to be getting paid for these exchanges whether they book us or not. I want minimum $20 every time a client on the site contacts me. PERIOD. If I wanted to have my time wasted for free I’d just stick with Grindr. No reason to pay $79 a month to deal with this nonsense.

On top of that, many clients come off dismissive right off the bat. Instead of compromising and discussing an option, they immediately resort to passive aggressive departure. That’s a sign of a weak, yet controlling man who is afraid of any level of conflict. That’s why I told RentMen and RentMasseur: I’m tired of this shit. For the money we pay to them, they should be doing more to micromanage these guys. It’s too much work. If someone is going to not read a profile, at least have the decency to follow what a provider asks for. Too many of these guys expect far too much upfront, but do very little to convey they are willing to put the effort.

I’m still trying to figure out: what color bubble is the client and which is the escort?? I assume the client is the one saying he doesn’t want to waste his time? Yeah that’s passive aggressive client behavior I see often…(I’m in blue) My vote is YES: and I was going to post a topic about this exact thing but, I promised I’d make less threads and just respond to others, but it’s like practically revealing itself😂 My topic was going to be: THE FRAGILE CLIENT EGO. It’s a very real thing. I’ve dealt with it twice in the past week: Then a couple messages later: And I’m paying $49 and $79 a month to deal with this shit? This is an obscene. I’ve been dealing with shit like this ALL YEAR. People wonder why I ask deposits and charge to be contacted: because 90% of tripe from RM is all nonsense and flakes, I can’t run a biz that requires SPENDING MONEY on hotels, travel, etc. relying that unreliable, dishonest fake clients are going to show up. I’ve made sure going forward in my ads I make it very very clear what’s to be expected, and I’m not taking excuses because it’s all in writing! I feel like I’ma teacher of middle school students some days!!! We need to be getting paid an actual salary, this commission shit isn’t working 🤦🏾‍♂️

Funny thing is: when I send inquiries a detail response asking them to tell me a bit about themselves: many don’t even respond back. But then few months/years later they try the same thing again 🤦🏾‍♂️

That’s the level I’m at currently. I used to charge between 150-200-250 but now I’m at 200-250-300, although I want to push to 250-300-350 (I offer tier level sessions). However, instead of chasing the price increase rat 🐀 race, I’m just offering add ons like 75 min, 90 min, Two Hours. At the end of the day, I’m still getting 250-500 for most appointments. Problem is, the bookings are fewer now even before the rate went up…so I’ve had to in turn, make sure I’m asking more. One semi-regular I was seeing dropped me last year because I wouldn’t see him for $200. But I told him: you can’t just meet once every 6 months and expect a discount. I have to remind people this all the time. Stop popping up out the blue expecting me to charge the same rates as 2022 ✋🏾 Well, I’ve noticed with Minneapolis in general: I’ve been trying to plan trips there lately and I keep having to not go myself because the level of commitment seems low there. I used to do well there but lately I haven’t been able to get enough serious clients and most seem scared to send a deposit (which I’m going to address more below). That’s because as I’ve said throughout the forum: business is slow. Especially in cities like Chicago because so many guys are posting on there. The big cities now are just chock full of ads, and now it’s anybody’s guess who’s a real client anymore. It used to be guys would contact and book. Now, every inquiry is a time waster (at least from my observations and experiences). I sent RentMen FOUR (4) emails today basically roasting them over hot coals letting them know I’m sick and tired of having to micromanage clients from the site. Lately it’s become like a Grindr: people are hitting me up not talking about money at all, being unresponsive in communications, just basically being a big time waste. They’re doing minimal effort and collecting our money, while we have to do all the legwork to deal with the nonsense everyday. I just came back from Nashville and I have about 10-15 texts over a 1 week period of people contacting. Only 1 client managed to book out of all those. I have suggested solutions to them before and they refuse to take it. I deal with far less Timewasters on my own website than RentMen. When people go to my site, they know I mean business and I’m talking about money on every page. I feel RentMen is making it optional, and guys are getting away with wasting our time for free. I’m nipping that shit in the bud immediately. No phone numbers are going up, every communication is going to be automated and making them agree to my terms before any engagement occurs. See above response. I’ve told RentMen they need to bring rates back. It’s become a Grindr and the pay seems optional.

Red flag 🚩 right here. Any provider asking you to stop and pick up something whether an x box gift card, poppers, etc. proceed with caution. Unless it’s someone like me with a verified set of reviews and website. Clients have asked me to pick up stuff for them, but I always get a deposit before buying anything: whether it’s a hotel room or “extras”

For me…desire

Funny is: I’ve met the Prima Donna guy a few times. He’s great in person, but turns into this Mr. Hyde bitch over texts. It was exactly why I stopped dealing with him for over 6 months. He hits me up again last month, and I’m thinking okay; I’ll give him another chance. But considering his age, some people just don’t change. I feel like after 40, whatever way a guy is: it’s always going to be that way. Only thing I can do is deal with them, in a way that I best deal with them. In the case of the Karen prima Donna: I told him, if you want to keep canceling invites to your place, I’m not coming back. You make the effort and see me sometimes. That’s how these Kansas City clients are. They either can never host, or they ONLY want to host and are impatient as hell when they are hosting lol. Maybe they need to hire a Kansas City football player and see how much they’ll charge. My $1,000 inconvenience rate will seem like pennies compared to what they’d charge. $50,000 just to suck their dick 😂

I was so ready to block him but, I was like: let me respond educatedly instead and flip the paradigm. I showed up, but he was a Royal bitch the whole process. At one point rushing me to get there by a certain time when he had no plans after the session, despite HIM dragging the whole process out longer than what was needed 🤦🏾‍♂️ When I visit cities with lots of SERIOUS non-complicated clients, I don’t give bullshit the time of day. They will be erased and replaced immediately. Sometimes I don’t see how people carry a full time job and deal with these people. It would be too much. Unless, those with regular jobs are more quick to block and ignore people like that if the money is just supplementary

No it’s not, you’re just focusing on the neg click bait stuff…but I say plenty of positive and encouraging things throughout the board. You are having a problem, with a discussion and then have the audacity to make up a bold face lie saying “no wonder you get no clients”.…who the hell told you that? And you also erroneously assume that I can control client’s erratic behavior and conversations, based on a response: when many times they are the ones creating the drama 90% of the time. For example, just yesterday I had to read this bullshit from 2 separate clients: Client A: I had to bite my tongue SOOOOOO HARD in this exchange. In fact I wrote him a couple texts (one telling him to fuck off and that I’m reporting his screenname to RM for harassment) and deleted it, so tried as hard as possible to be professional. Because in my town, few of the clients are ever serious…and I have to deal with the bullshit until I leave town. We ended up meeting up, but guess what? He was trying to get me to take the condom off. And I was like NOPE, if you don’t believe I’m clean then it’s best to play safe. How the fuck??? lol And then here, my regular male “Karen” client who was on his THIRD cancellation since I took him off my blocked list couple weeks ago: Now the guy above: I’ve had the discussion with him last time in person: he lives an hour away from me, and I can’t always drop everything to meet him right away. He also had the chance to meet me Saturday, and we HAD A TIME in mind, and he cancelled on that because he was in a “funky mood”. This mother fucker constantly changes his tune, yet then expects me to be attentive and responsive everytime he perks into the mood. I swear he’s bipolar or manic depressive or something. But after that, I told him I’m not available to come to his house next time because this been the THIRD TIME he’s invited me over and cancelled. This mofo has the nerve to reply back: I think you, @BostonDadType need to stop living in this denial that certain providers don’t have to deal with A LOT of annoying man child behavior on a regular basis. You can’t seem to wrap your head around it because, you think positivity breeds positivity. Not necessarily in all cases. And the only reason I give these people half a time of day is because, I have a very limited pool of clients to work with in my area. 9/10 are flakes, low ballers, only want to pay crack whore rates…or like someone said previously: 1999 rates 😆 They think $150 should get full service bareback and massage 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s the problem: I’m NOT always free. And also, you’re under the impression that money can be used to bypass a person’s boundaries. I just had a conversation with someone earlier on this exact subject: I don’t let clients book me last minute or same day all the time because…I may have OTHER OBLIGATIONS in place. I can’t break those obligations on the basis of money. I used to do it, and I’ve lost friends, potential long term lovers, etc. So now, I rarely do it unless I literally am just in a hotel and ready. And like I’ve told you and the whole forum a MILLION TIMES: every fucking time I do that, nobody calls. EVER. Nobody is ever ready at the same damn time. That’s why things need to be arranged ahead of time. I have stayed in hotel after hotel, apartment after apartment, air bnb after air bnb “available now” and no client is available until I decide to make plans. Instead of playing that game, I rather just make people book in advance. The “ready now let’s fuck” for gay sex in 5 minutes notice, is something that was created years ago in public parks and bath houses. People need to pull their heads out their ass and realize not every gay man, whether free or for pay, wants to connect like that anymore. If guys can plan everything else in their life, for everybody else, then they should be able to do it with hookups too. I don’t want to hear excuses or devils advocates. And starting today, I’m charging extra $25 for same day appointments, PERIOD!

Again, it’s not that I’m not taking the advice. However I also have the option to reply back if I feel something doesn’t accurately describe a situation. Some of you need to stop with the “I need to listen” commands. The way it comes off is like you are my superiors. Just because someone makes a statement about something, doesn’t mean I have no say in disagreeing with it. And yes if someone lies/exaggerates and says I’m not getting any business, then yes I reserve the right to correct them. And once again, if you read the situations I describe objectively: you’ll see it’s not just me or what I am or not doing. It’s a bigger picture. There’s other people saying similar elsewhere in the internet space: and then another: I think what you and some others need to do: is stop being so critical and act like I’m the problem for every issue I bring up. If you not coming with any specific advice to the topic (e.g. tell guys you charge an extra $100 for same day bookings), and only coming here to try and put me in my place: then don’t expect me to just sit back and “take it” without no say on anything☝

Reminds me of a time I cash app requested a client for $1,000 after his several-th time contacting for a booking and not following thru. He’s like, “did you send me a request for $1,000?” Yes I did… for at least 4-5 requests ghosted. He laughed and blocked me. Good riddance, job accomplished. Some of these guys deserve to be charged $1,000. The level of impatience some of them have is sickening. Yet, when I need an answer they wait days, months to return a message.

At this point, I feel 250 is the least I’m willing to do calls for anymore. Anything less is not worth it to me, and even when some do get it for less than that price, they don’t meet often enough to justify it. Some do it for a quick fix, and then don’t reappear for another year down the line. I’m trying hard not to just say fuck it: everything is $500 minimum. Won’t make a difference if it’s massage or full on f-ing: time is time regardless. I get tired of having constantly be gaslit and haggled over prices. I know my worth. I know what I need to maintain. $200 is not going to maintain and traveling provider who has ads, hotels, living expenses, and the whole gamut. That’s just money to pay 1 bill and maybe go grocery shopping. And I have to be seeing more than 1 of those a day, to turn a profit. Yet then some want to bring up “are you clean/disease free?” When it comes time for me to pay my dues, I don’t have time be sitting around arguing over the difference between $150-$200-$250 🤷🏾‍♂️

One thing I wish many clients would understand: don’t try to come around months later expecting someone to be charging to same price that you FLAKED OUT on in the past. For example, there’s imbecile who has the audacity to bring up a previous conversation that he never bothered to show up for: That is why I’m moving my rates up. The less I have to deal with these cheapskate imbeciles who think $150 and $200 is a universal rate, the better. Only consistent regulars deserve discounts! And I’m not talking about some random who only comes around once or twice a year and think he’s a deserving of a discount. If you local, you need to be meeting every couple weeks or at least once a month.