Jarrod_Uncut

Reason for this is: in the states at least, you simply can’t get use the word “deposit” on RentMen. They will delete it just like they deleted rates. I can’t say deposit in my ad, but I’ve been able to use other code that is quite clear on the deposit asked. Also, I checked your search results: good idea however, that is only pulling up results within the area you are in, what city are you looking in? I’ll tell you why (I know that’s probably not what you want). Because one particular person went from stating an opinion, to then recommending others not to do something. That’s where the problem lies. Agree or disagree, but don’t start telling others not to do it and then further reference other guys who don’t. Other guys/escorts aren’t going to pay my bills or my hotel/gas if a client cancels. Period. So, nobody should talk about what other escorts do and don’t do. It’s not about that. In addition, each time it comes up…someone adds “but I won’t do it”. So then the discussion continues. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the back and forth. It takes a bit of communication to come to an understanding, and also getting to the nitty gritty behind why some do and don’t. I think this is probably the most in depth it’s ever gotten. I seen one escort in his ad claim, “I don’t accept pay app payments, the federal government is watching our transactions.” Which is not true. I don’t think it should have ever even been approved, but…once again people have their reasonings. I know many clients, even the non-deposit guys, will still use a pay app to settle up. Now, with everything said: it does make me question if I want to continue deposits…however at this particular point in my life, I’m not sure its the right timing to get rid of it, even with business being slow. Maybe at some point this year when I have a full time in-call back up and running, and most of my bookings are within 30 minutes away. But even still: I service a sketchy market. Kansas City. The vast majority of guys offering to pay here: want us to host. And often on short notice. Even outcalls are same day requested, and it’s just too much trying to do those without deposits. Imagine how stupid and foolish it feels to leave a friend/family member/event to meet a client and he flakes? Do that a few times, over the course of a few months and you hopefully learn to do deposits. However it’s not just here, just about every city in the country has its flakes…persistent flakes who are dismissive, and then come around 6 months later like it never happened. Like wait: aren’t you the same MoFo who said “nevermind/you’ll pass/no I don’t do deposits” and now you’re trying to get with me again? If I’m such a scammer, or my rates are too high, why are you still trying to get in contact with me 🤔 But as stated: I’ve been in the industry without deposits, longer than I have been with. The only difference is, I’m not going extra miles hoping the client is real; nor taking last minute or advanced bookings at a loss.

And another thing: I am just noticing a lot of weird shit happening from the RentMen messenger area. Guys contact and then don’t respond back, only to come around months later and not respond again: Never replied back, even when I left my contact info and details. Now the same guy: And then he doesn’t respond back again 🤷🏾‍♂️ Granted I’ve not wrote him off yet, but it’s this type of stuff that’s about to compel me to cut all access to communication on RentMen and RentMasseur and only be contacted thru my website. This is why I’ve once again wrote to RentMen asking for changes. And if the person had any issue with my policy, why come back around again and reach out? If he can remember from 2017-18 then he certainly can remember from September. It’s just way too many games out here. I’m trying hard not to close my RentMen messenger access, but each week I’m feeling pressed to. It’s become too much of a “Grindr”, where guys expect us to stay on there and small talk with them round the clock, and we don’t even get paid for that. RentMen needs to convert that to a paid function for US, if potential clients expect us to keep engaging.

I find that hard to believe. I’d have to wonder the quality of the ad which was in question. Someone promising the world, and not doing much of any screening before getting deposit? I know for me, I usually ask a list 📝 of details beforehand so I know if I am even a fit for the client. One thing that should be noted is: an escort NOT asking for deposit doesn’t necessarily imply NOT a scammer either. You can get scammed meeting with cash only too. Also: canceling more than 24 hours in advance, isn’t really as much of a life saver like it is for say: hotels and rental cars which once again, tend to have multiple rooms/cars, multiple employees, and multiple customers that can all be serviced at once. For me, I have decided I’ll reapply a deposit within 7 days.

Right, same here…and until that happens it’s prob not best to schedule appointments solely on messenger, if anyone is. And just another overall reminder to everyone: don’t compare why some chose to do deposits and others don’t. We don’t all see clients in the same areas, or have the same volume, live near high numbers of wealthy populations, or live in proximities to gay meccas/resort destinations like Palm Springs. That is all variables, but ultimately up to the escort to decipher, what their best policy should be. If I sat around and ran things based on about what other escorts are doing or not doing: I would be doing like I used to back in 2009: Traveling to the biggest cities like the popular guys, spending 3 days on hotels upfront before having any real commitment from clients, and just wasting my time and money. There’s towns I go to that many escorts don’t even know about, and I’ve made it happen with or without deposits.

By all means, if you choose to…just know your decision to post this was well appreciated. Understanding both the escort and client sides and mending the divide between paying and not paying deposits, is something that is going to be a factor in the future of advertising and something I hope can be more widely accepted.

And you believe that? Just because you don’t see/hear something doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Please tell me you are somewhat cognitive to that? There could be plenty reasons why someone doesn’t discuss it here, whatever it is…is their personal business. I can understand why most people wouldn’t because…who wants to get involved in a 3 page debate with someone who just has the same rebuttle each time, with no consideration for the other side? Comparison is the thief of joy. It doesn’t surprise me considering your viewpoint. How about I compare you to the many many clients who are thoughtful and considerate enough to provide deposits? Now, back to story time: Comparison: The Thief of Joy - The Simplicity Habit WWW.THESIMPLICITYHABIT.COM Have you found comparison to be the thief of joy in your life? Learn how to get out of the comparison trap and...

Okay, story 📖 time. I’ve said what I needed to say, time to hear it from other people on websites elsewhere: and

And, good for you. What does name dropping have to do with the discussion? If you have to resort to “who you hired” as some sort of leverage to prove a point, then that goes to show once again your character. News flash: the guys you paid to sleep with you doesn’t make you a better person. Just like me sleeping with a millionaire/billionaire wouldn’t make me a better person than the guys on Grindr doing the same for free. If you think it does, you’re deluded. That just means you can use your money and preference to get what you want, which is not rocket science. Nice try though. That said, you assume that deposits haven’t changed anything how? Because last time I checked: I have not been stood up by a client who’s sent a deposit at all this year. When I talk about flakes and time wasters, those are the ones who haven’t even gotten to first base: The ones on RentMen messenger who don’t text and the ones who text and don’t get to the 2nd step. Or they have a million excuses. Deposits have helped because if I don’t receive one, I don’t lift a finger. All the, “maybe I’ll see if I can possibly get away sometime” guys never get the chance to mess up my day because I don’t book hotels or even start my car for them without a deposit. That’s a difference between someone booking a 3 hour appointment and not showing up, and waiting on them. Get your facts straight… Clients who send deposits don’t do that. Now, if you wish to not do it…that’s your prerogative. But stop trying to encourage and leverage others to do it, based on who you seen. That’s very sleazy and low integrity ✋🏾

In my personal experience: I have been side by side with some escorts I’ve met who don’t do deposits, they are often high volume and have guys coming and going at all times of the day. One client leaving, another one coming up. And some be fucking other guys for free in between. Then people wonder why someone can’t cum or perform the way you desired. Of course they don’t care about deposits because, they’re trying to squeeze in as many guys as possible to get the best bang for their hotel bucks. I’m not dissing on how anyone works, that’s their personal choice: BUT…I think it has to be realized WHY those escorts some people brag about who don’t do deposits, may be different from those who do. Some of us on the other hand, only wish to see no more than 1 or 2 clients a day, and not everyday. That’s a max. I personally don’t have the inclination to see 3-4 guys in a day. Whether that’s massage or escorting. It’s too much logistics to do that, and especially in a hotel or even my own place, I don’t want all that traffic…I have before, but I could count on 1 hand the times I’ve actually seen more than 3 clients in a day over the years. So that’s why when 1 client cancels, it can affect someone’s whole day because there’s no guarantee another client (paying equal or more) will be available to fill the time that day. The ONLY time I would recommend not doing a deposit is with a Grindr or met in person client (nightclub, hotel, etc). Those guys aren’t usually looking to pay anyway so, gotta kinda be easy. However, in those situations I only do it when I’m actively available and looking, and they are usually same day on the spot. So if they flake it wasn’t something I expected anyway.

You swear you are making an argument right now lol. That’s not advice, that’s your personal agenda. It’s not advice to assist with his particular dilemma. Quote: “But a lot of New Clients lately I haven’t asked for a deposit upon meeting and a lot of clients that I don’t ask for a deposit, they end up flaking on me.” So where do you come along to keep repeating: “don’t take deposits”. Dude just fucking said it that the new clients he don’t take deposits from, flake on him. What is the missing piece you’re not getting? Sensible advice would be: Start taking deposits from all new clients. I think most people in the biz for awhile, know what to do to solve the difficulties we face. It just takes a bit of courage and willingness to let some people go. Some clients may not want to pay deposits? Well it might not be worth the risk to see them. Unless they have some other way to verify. I told a guy in Cincinnati last month: he wanted me to host, but I said I would need a deposit. He’s like “well, I can host but I need to meet you in public first”. I said okay, well send me a picture of you first (I would have been commuting from another city to Cincinnati). He’s like, “never mind this is too complex”. Really? No compromise. That’s not enough security for me to go drive 4 hours away. That’s why I say, it’s not even the deposit half the time. It’s their insecurity and desire to control a situation, which at worst can put you in a bad situation…at best have your time wasted for the day. YOU don’t get to dictate what an escort needs to secure and establish their safety and peace of mind. Clients don’t set the rules, escorts do. That’s why you don’t come to us and say how much you want to pay.

Okay, well if the thread were: “why I don’t care to give escorts deposits” then perhaps you would be on the right track. However, the basis of this was a client who booked a 3 hour session without a deposit, and didn’t show. So now the escort is considering it. Why does it have to turn into a discussion about what you do and don’t care about? You can’t learn if you stay stuck on what you want and think is fair for YOU. When you are able to see the other side of things, then you’ll see why some people may ask for a deposit, and not consider that being a deal breaker or only reason you won’t see them. That’s ignorant if you can’t be willing to accept why some do it. You don’t want to pay deposit? Fine. But you might come across someone who does. I’ve explained it already in another thread recently: in some cases both parties are taking a risk, and sometimes the escort is the one who occasionally pays upfront. So if a client feels he doesn’t want to pay upfront either, that can go both ways. I may not want to pay $3.50 upfront per gallon of gas to drive 300 miles away. Or $120 per night plus deposit for a room upfront without a deposit. Does that make someone wrong? How so? And don’t say it doesn’t because that’s exactly what you’re implying. You’re implying the provider should take the risk and you shouldn’t. Plus, I’m not too sure about you anyway. You said in another thread, that you seen a provider and afterwards forgot your wallet in the car. You sound sketchy AF. Similar to a guy in Riverside California who came to me in Temecula and he’s like: “I forgot my wallet”. And I seen him with no deposit 🤦🏾‍♂️ Luckily, I told him BEFORE i got started…go back and get then. He never came back. He wasted his gas, not mine. But I didn’t appreciate him taking up my whole day only to come with no money 😤

Your point? No I won’t, because you’re not making any sense talking about a waiter. Then somehow trying to relate that to a sex worker who pays to advertise, and sees clients privately. It’s not the same. Whether you care or don’t care about their overheads is irrelevant. That’s not the discussion. The discussion is: how can escorts ensure they aren’t going to be stood up when reserving time and spending money to see clients? Deposit. Matter of fact, escort yourself out 🥾

Wrong analogy. The waiter is covering multiple customers in a setting that is already paid for by a company. It’s also tips, he’s not reliant on 1 table. Gas would be the sole overhead. And what waiter you know is driving 2 hours to work that you know? I’m sure it exists, but maybe in Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen where they pulling 6 figures. On the other hand, a catering company with multiple staff WOULD likely charge a deposit to host 1 client, who wants an event. See the difference?

Well that’s fine, do what you please. If you wish (not saying you are) to be selfish, uncompromising and self-centered when it comes down to deposits: That’s your choice. But where it becomes an issue is when you reiterate it like it’s some type of disadvantage or wrong doing on the part of the escort. Even though I often encourage and require them: I have done with and without over the years, so I’m not just speaking from one side. I’ve experienced both. You keep saying “never never never”. Well then you have no experience beyond what you know.

That is a reasonable approach. That’s why I have included the time and date plus reference to my rates (starting at 200). But of course, all the time I get, “how much is your rate?” when I have the details for it listed in my ad. Which shows they didn’t read the ad. I don’t know how they find my number, before reading the ad. Like I say, I have mentioned to the sites about how they NEED to bring back transparency on rates (even RentMasseur who allows rates, people either don’t read it or see the one rate and expect it to cover everything). With this tik tok nonsense though, idk if things are going to get any simpler. Hence why I’m staying ahead of the game with my website and contact card. And I need to start putting my rates on it too and just sending that before I respond to anything.

It’s toxic because you’re ALWAYS on the one side of things, regardless of the information and experiences that are posted. You don’t even acknowledge the circumstances, you just immediately say what you’re not going to do…and then reference other escorts who supposedly don’t) If many clients don’t like it, then they should be doing their due diligence when it comes down to arranging bookings. Like I said before, I occasionally offer compromises to deposits but some don’t want to do it. And “putting yourself at the mercy” of flakes and timewasters is unavoidable simply because unless you’re encouraging to stop advertising all together: it’s going to happen anyway. The only way to mitigate best, is to have a fee for contact like I mentioned before. Also having regulars isn’t necessarily foolproof either. They cancel and flake just as well. I was going to meet a regular in Cincinnati last month, when he seen me posted up. A 2 hour session. Fortunately before I started heading up, the morning of I asked if we were confirmed and to send location and he’s like, “no schedule changed”. Considering the drive was hours away, good thing I didn’t start heading their the night before. And I didn’t even mention deposit because he usually shows up, but he’s often last minute and cancels every other appointment locally. I knew better than to trust him meeting in a different state because, he’s not reliable. Regular doesn’t always mean “reliable”. Let’s get that straight. The only solution is SOMETHING NOMINAL UPFRONT, BEFORE YOU SPEND MONEY OR SET ASIDE TIME. Period.

I think pinning providers against one another is a bit toxic habit, something that some believe is acceptable. Instead of talking about what you’ll never do, how about just recognizing each individual provider has their individual preference on how they want to book people. That could be based on where that provider may be in their life/business. If someone can afford the time and money loss from flakes, maybe they won’t. Maybe they get plenty of serious clients in their particular area to not need to. Maybe they only see clients by appointment only, and spend their own money when they do, so they have to ask a deposit. It’s not about YOU. And this isn’t limited to escort industry. I was checking into a hotel in Indianapolis last month. The clerk was like, $50 deposit will be held to your account. Since it was late, and I was a single man with no kids or pets for 1 night, I was like: “I thought y’all only did that when someone books thru Priceline or a 3rd party? I’m a Diamond member.” He’s like, yeah we used to never require a deposit but after Covid: people started messing up the rooms etc etc so now we do it for everybody. So guess what? Not only are we also getting the Covid brains, we also have to pay extra out of pocket ourselves. So not getting a deposit, would be a pure luxury from some of us. In my case, the client was hosting and sent me a deposit anyway, I just needed a place to sleep 😴

I won’t necessarily claim that, considering I have met a few on the forum who don’t mind arranging deposits. Just because they aren’t actively advocating it, doesn’t mean they are against it.

Set expectations accordingly, what does that mean? Also $100-$200 for a deposit is not necessarily the norm. I vary my deposits up but $50-$100 is where I’m at now. As for scams: I know this moreso pertains to women escorts but the spirit of the message is the same How to avoid getting scammed by fake escort ads | by 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐞 | Medium MEDIUM.COM A quick guide to help you discern the fake escorts from the legitimate companions and how-to avoid scams... I think in general: it’s the seeking of M4M sex period that makes it more flaky. And bi/straight guys looking for M4M sex are just as flaky if not more, than gay guys for obvious reasons. Fact of the matter is: men in generally are flaky, I read a female escort forum and the guys they talk about are the same. Some of it is just biological: men have an urge to cruise more, but can’t always put honesty+horny+money = SCORE for escorts, together. And trying to get all 3 of those things from a man looking for a man?? Lord you have to be clever. How many times have I heard: “I don’t pay for dick” (heard that the other day, and he came over and…well so much for that 🪟 (sometimes RM is slow and doesn’t have clients so I will occasionally use apps if I have time to kill…some clients also use it for their personal use so it’s no secret). Welcome welcome welcome. You get all the warm 🔥 welcomes for being courageous and willing to LEARN. However, take the advice you hear as opinions from their perspective, not necessarily the business’s perspective and reality. That said: there’s 2 things I’ll say, but I’ve been fighting this topic enough but, it never gets old for me. #1: my experience in Ohio goes way back. They are one of the more flakiest states to do escort work. Idk why but, I used to go there without deposits and got SCAMMED out of appointments. However in the past couple years, I’ve made sure not to meet anyone without deposits there. Even if it only got me one or 2 clients at most. I rather that, than 1 flake to ruin my day or worse, miss out on potential client elsewhere. In fact: I-70 from Denver to Pittsburg I consider “Flake Central”. Didn’t used to always be that way in Denver but, every other city including Kansas City, St. Louis, Indy, Columbus: You will get burned more times than you can imagine, if you don’t ask for deposits or at least ensure the client is a regular who is reliable. I don’t know why it’s like that, but considering it runs thru the middle of the country: it’s not the most “progressive minded” I suppose. And don’t anyone on the forum get offended if you live in those areas. I’m not saying anyone in particular, I’m just talking a GENERAL population that exists on the escort sites. It’s not a personal assault however, after living in both Kansas City and St. Louis and seeing the games dudes play even when they aren’t paying: I’d say it is a correlation. If you are going to do deposits, make sure to bring it up first thing so you don’t waste your time. You may also wish to only do it for certain situations: like if you have to host in a hotel or travel some distance. However, in my experience of going back and forth and only doing it in certain situations: I’m 100% deposit now because you really have no way of truly knowing if they are going to show. It hasn’t messed up business any more than not taking them have. When I didn’t use to do it, I used to spend so much time waiting around for people.

Before RM, nobody had access to an instant messenger option. They’d have to call, text or email. Most providers would not answer a blocked number. There’s various phone options available if someone wishes to be discreet. Plus I find most people who don’t want to exchange numbers aren’t doing so because they’re so discreet. Just paranoid. That’s about as similar as the ones who would call private, and usually never show up. I’m already meeting you with likely no face or idea what you look like. Something that they probably wouldn’t dream of doing themselves. Damn sure not going to have me meeting with no phone number.

In the case I refer to, I am more implying like a very nominal amount to schedule. Like a $10/20 booking fee to reach the provider. That would cover the initial setup and access to the provider. And like the ads we pay for, it would likely be non refundable. From there, the client and provider could discuss whether additional deposit for travel or hosting is needed. The point is, to not be a sitting duck 🦆 for millions of texts and messengers that go nowhere day in, day out. But of course, leave it to some sites: they rather earn money from us than the “buyer”. I feel not setting a precedent for clients to pay us from the get go, is the reason why the deposit discussion keeps coming up in the first place. RentMen and A4A doesn’t allow rates posting. Lot of these guys talk to us about everything else, except the money. They want to know where we are at, if we’re in town, are we available…but nothing at all payment. Can’t put the 🛒 before the 🐎 Someone here mentioned I bring up the business part too quickly: I say it’s not brung up quick enough. No point in going over a bunch of details, only to get to the rate and/or deposit and they aren’t able to do it. And some here have said they get annoyed if the escort waits until the day of the booking to ask for a deposit. After dealing with someone last month who messaged me twice on messenger, had contacted my profile in the past, and then texted me only to say, “Sorry I only do cash”: I made sure for now on, to include it right next to my number in my auto reply. So now there’s 0 excuse going forward.

Part of the reason may be because, when I leave my phone number up…I get bombarded by spam messages like this: and and Not to mention the ones who call out the blue when I mainly prefer just text. HOWEVER, even though I let messenger be the initial contact, I have explicit instructions to text me. However, if they respond to the auto reply or say nothing at all…then I’m not going to take time out of my day to engage, because they probably just playing.

I’m still propositioning to websites: We need to move towards a Uber/Lyft model where clients are expected to pay SOMETHING upfront to book us. Mind you, when you book an Uber or Lyft, it’s no “I only do cash”. The entire amount is charged upfront. I only ask for $50/$100 deposit and some guys scared to even do that…but they expect me to pull out my credit card and book a hotel because they don’t want to book a room to host either. It’s like come on, it can’t be one sided. After awhile, you don’t want to keep playing the fool for a “potential” to earn money. I would do better gambling $100 on lottery tickets, than on a hotel where I have no appointments pre-booked that day. If we can pay for ads with our card, clients can book an appointment with theirs. You can go to dollar general, or dollar tree and buy a prepaid visa/master card. It doesn’t have to be tied to your main account. And I wouldn’t mind deposits to go towards ad costs and platinum boosts. Or some other way of outsourcing the funds to make it accessible to us. I know it can be done, the pressure just needs to happen. I know it probably can’t be as refined and play by play like Uber is (obviously when you contact Uber, you have multiple people ready at that moment and the point of contact requires less time than an actual client/escort encounter). But having dozens of RentMen messenger replies that don’t lead to an appointment? This isn’t Grindr. We pay to advertise and sometimes pay just to provide accommodations. Guys on Grindr don’t go book a hotel to host. I see it all the time around town, “I CAN’T HOST” even though there’s dozens of hotels in the area. Clients should be putting down nominal fees to request a booking with us. This culture of expecting the escort to spend, spend, spend their own money before making a dime, and the client being stubborn and unwilling to provide a deposit, let alone a picture of themselves…needs to stop. One can only be played for a fool for so long. The only way that model can work, is if you’re a single gay guy in the city with your own place. And majority of your clients are only within a few miles away. In San Francisco and New York perhaps. But not every escort lives alone in the Big city. Some can’t host or need notice to host, others like myself travel to different cities for business because their home market is dead or dried up. I can’t afford to work without deposits because that would be too much gambling. I stopped booking in-calls without a deposit, because many will cancel last minute on hosting escorts (I got called into work is a favorite line).

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And that has to do with me how? Nice that you find it convenient to relate me to something that wasn’t even referencing me. Never said it was. I’m just saying what I know and have discussed as it pertains to communicating on apps. The attention spans can be short. And if I’m trying to meet clients from the platform and most are anywhere from 1 to 3 hours away from where I reside, I don’t have all the time to go back and forth to get tidbits of info. I rather have those details first upfront and then be able to quickly figure out whether this is someone I can accommodate today, or not.