Smokey

Watching And Just Like That is like getting your asshole waxed: It’s painful, weirdly humiliating, and halfway through you’re just praying it’s over—only to find yourself coming back for more.

We’ve all seen it happen: A benign thread on this site that gets derailed by haughty and venomous users who seemingly delight in belittling and bullying others. Sometimes their comments reflect an inability, or maybe an unwillingness, to accept that others simply disagree with them. Perhaps more disturbing are the times when their spite and snark emerge with no clear provocation, leaving the rest of us to wonder whether participating on this site is worth the hassle. Either way, this mean girl dynamic — the bullying of fellow users into submission and silence — is difficult to avoid on Company of Men, and it undermines this site as a space where all of us can convene and connect.
 
Outside of reporting such behavior to site administrators — an imperfect response that raises its own set of challenges — I see no clear path toward curbing this dynamic on CoM. (If others have suggestions, feel free to share.) I am naming it here for the benefit of others who, like me, are troubled by the mean-spiritedness of some of our fellow site members. You are not crazy; some of our peers on CoM are terribly unkind, and their petty and spiteful communication styles can make it difficult to spend time here.
 
And sure, this is not unique to CoM. Aggressive and malicious comments from others pervade practically every online domain imaginable. But I find the mean girl dynamic on CoM particularly disheartening because of the purpose of this site. As a gay man of a certain age who is often invisible in bars and clubs catering to the gym-bodied under-40 crowd, and who engages in the type of encounters discussed on this site, I don’t have many people that I can talk to about my specific “extracurricular activities.” (I imagine this is the case for some — not all, but some — of you as well.) I was so relieved when I finally discovered this site after years of wasting time and money on unskilled providers just looking to make a quick buck. I was also incredibly grateful for the outlet (and on some days, the lifeline) this site provided during the COVID lockdown. CoM has the potential to nurture a spirit-lifting camaraderie for those of us who struggle to find it elsewhere. I wish some of us weren’t so seemingly hellbent on tearing others down.
 
Note: I have not named any specific users in this post, as the issue at hand extends beyond any single user. I implore anyone who chooses to comment on this thread to follow suit.

Over 60 years ago my city, in addition to a few stands located in lobbies, had a shoe shine shop. Besides having your shoes shined there were several booths (similar to public toilet booths) where you would drop your trousers, hang them over the door, and the clerk would brush and then steam press them. Being a young lad this all fascinated me; I suppose they also offered tailoring. Long gone, and have never found anyone who remembers the place.

Recently saw the musical “& Juliet” on Broadway and must confess I really enjoyed it! It’s a jukebox musical. I didn’t know many of the songs, which were evidently written by Max Martin, a prolific songwriter known for writing songs for popular boy bands. They were performed by a cast with so much heart and energy. A fun, clever, and surprisingly sweet twist on Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet that left me smiling way more than I expected. Worth seeing if you want something fun and light. 

Tom Lehrer has died at age 97.
He was an American musical humorist and mathematical genius who, by day, was employed in private, military, state and education sectors before and after his musical success) His creative side emerged combining (mostly) original music with clever lyrics in service of lampooning current events and culture in the US in the late 50’s- early 1960’s. His live performances, him singing while seated at the piano, played at various sized venues all over the world, and his LP’s became cult favorites. A singular contribution to satire, and a key informant for my sense of humor, I can relate 0% to his legit mathematical/scientific brain, but totally with his use of music and words to elicit laughs. 

Thanks, Professor 
 

Greetings folks...
As you might have noticed, this site has been offline since around mid-day Tuesday.   Our prior hosting provider decided that they are unable to continue hosting our website and had ended service to us.  Unfortunately they did not provide any notification to me about this decision and I was forced to move the site to a new server without any sort of heads up.  This includes arranging for the new hosting company, configuring the new server to meet the technical requirements, getting a copy of our current data, restoring that data (over 300GB of files), recovering the database (over 18.5 million records in that database taking up 11GB of space for the DB alone), and reconfiguring the software itself to run in the new environment.  
While migrating there was also some technical issues that I ran into that required me to coordinate with Invision's technical support team.  So that back and forth added additional time to the mix as well.  
And to pile on further… all of this occurred while I'm traveling for my day job. So I've been doing this while in a hotel in between doing my day job on the road.  
There are most likely several other things that will need to be fixed still and I'm working through them.  For example, email may only be partially working.  I still need to setup things like SPF and DKIM for the new server so our emails don't flag as spam.  There are other settings that might need to be redone to work in the new server as well that I'm not thinking about yet.  (As you might have imagined, I've not had much sleep during this whole process.)
But anyway... you get the idea.  No... we're not going anywhere!  This was a minor setback but we'll continue to move forward.  Thank you all for your understanding and support!
Rob

Wow. I have… no words.
Actually, just one: sorry.
Reading this felt like a horror movie. 
I’m the extreme opposite. I am legitimately OCD about hygiene. Think Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets. I’m so thoroughly scrubbed you wouldn’t find a fingerprint on me, including my own. Even my fingernails are manicured specifically so I don’t accidentally exfoliate someone’s anal canal while fingering them.

Actually, that is a misleading post. Very misleading.
After the jury awarded Hulk Hogan a $115 million dollar award in his lawsuit, Gawker declared bankruptcy.  After a long, drawn out process, a settlement between the two parties was reached and the Hulkster walked away with $31 million.  Not a bad pay day, but nowhere close to $115 million. And certainly nowhere close to what Bozo was offered years ago for a copy of the sex tape video between Bozo and the circus bearded lady. That offer was ten bucks and 2 bottles of seltzer ☹️.
BTC
🤡
 

"Dear Penthouse Forum......I never thought this could happen to me, but........"

If you don't ask you don't get.   In this case, if you do ask you probably don't get often, but once a month is plenty.  
 
He is kind of ugly sort of like a Birkin bag, but you may want to be seen with one as your friends will know just how little you care about money and how much you care about showing that you have it.  

“Preserving quality of life for New Yorkers is a priority for the city”
Wouldn’t making sex work legal and regulated contribute to quality of life? It seems that regulation could reduce sex trafficking, spread of STD’s, and underworld influence as well as adding a few dollars to the tax coffers.

Luckily, I’m not here for the soles—I’m here for the soul. 😉 

I prefer clients NOT sending me their picture. I like the surprise. If they want to send it then fine, they can do so but I definitely don’t need it nor do I want pics of cock / ass etc. I think sometimes they’re fishing for compliments, or I’ve had a few who think that once I see their picture I’ll immediately offer them a free service (that never happens). In my experience those who send pics, especially of a close up cock / ass never actually book. They just get off on the thought of a session. I mean what can you respond to a cock or bum pic with other than ‘thanks’?  You’re hiring me, you get to see my pics and if you like it you hire. What you look like doesn’t affect how I treat you. That’s why I’m doing this work. 

Up until just before Covid there were active shoe shine stands at all Amtrak stations in the North East. I frequented Philadelphia, NYC and Boston. Grand Central Station in NYC had multiple stands too for commuters. 

Over 60 years ago my city, in addition to a few stands located in lobbies, had a shoe shine shop. Besides having your shoes shined there were several booths (similar to public toilet booths) where you would drop your trousers, hang them over the door, and the clerk would brush and then steam press them. Being a young lad this all fascinated me; I suppose they also offered tailoring. Long gone, and have never found anyone who remembers the place.

Years ago when I owned my business, I was located in our city's 'financial district', so I was surrounded by bankers, lawyers, judges, insurance agents, etc. I was especially attracted to the young professionals my age (20s, 30s) who walked into my store with 'shiny shoes and a well-tailored suit' (there were about a half dozen men's tailor / clothing specialty shops within a block or two - all competing for the same clients, especially 'the new hires' each month). I remember every bank building and office building (as well as every court building) had two things as soon as you walked into their lobby:  a newspaper stand, and a shoe-shine. Both were always employed by and older, friendly guy who had inherited the business from a relative. 
The last time I was down in that area was to visit a friend to have lunch a couple of years ago. The area is a ghost-town (as he said, many firms, banks, etc. merged with each other and moved out of the city to a bigger metro area), the men's clothing shops have been replaced by DD and Starbucks, and in the few lobbies I wandered into, what was once the newsstand and shoe shine is now the ubiquitous  'Smoothie' stand. And the hot younger business guys walking around ?  Suits from Kohl's and Target, with Nikes on their feet. Not sexy at all.

I do recall my last shoe shine.  I would utilize shoe shine stands as a respite from the days activities and to help out a small business man.  They became less and less common and the last one I utilized was in the Philadephia airport.  My flight was delayed and this was before TSA and the rigamarole that goes with it.  The shoe shiner, when asked, said that business was slowly coming to an end.  He said that most men, and the few women,  who used to utilize his services were traveling in sneakers or were too busy to take a few minutes to sit and read a newspaper or chat with him about the events of the day.  He said he would miss it once the stand finally closed.  The next time I was at that airport it was gone.  I had specifically worn shoes that needing a shining even though it was a vacation not a business trip.  

Yes, me when I had a shoe shine stand at a local barbershop, at 7 years old!

My social life for years was centered around a  changing flow of people through my worklife. I never felt comfortable sharing anything about my sex life (I learned to not to “shit where you eat” early on) Friends knew I was gay, but I let them tell their own stories about sexual adventures - in work settings, and doing that today would mean termination. 
As a supervisor, where is the advantage having my team specifically visualize me getting my ass ravished and ravaged in a sling in someone’s garage…?
These days, my circle of post-retirement friends lean more straight and senior, with little to no interest in such talk. 
So when hiring, having frank and detailed conversations about one’s own past erotic experiences with a non-judgmental attentive man can be worth quite a bit. Or sometimes dishing about Patti trying to to fuck with Audra and losing. 
 

I won’t have what he’s having.

OMG! I had such a crush on this pretty boy! So handsome! I still have his LP with a cover showing just his face and that amazing hair. From what I've read of him in the wake of his passing, he was a genuinely good man and had a good life. I'm glad of that and will always have fond memories of him. Rest in peace, Pretty Boy, and thanks for the memories.

Recently watched her in "Meet Me in St. Louis."
 
 

June also appeared in the 1938 MGM film adaptation of "A Christmas Carol". She played Belinda Cratchit, one of Bob Cratchit’s children. It was her first movie role, and she appeared alongside her parents, Gene and Kathleen Lockhart, who played Bob and Mrs Cratchit.

I'm not very good at picking up on subtle nuance. Is the pillar a symbol for something?