Smokey

Outside of this community here, just a couple know for sure that I escort. My husband knows (he once escorted himself) and I share everything with him. Then there is a bodyworker I see every couple of weeks, and we talk shop. I've mentioned it to my doc and he was unfazed, but after all he's a gay MD in San Francisco. 
I do wonder if others know, and just haven't said anything. That's always in the back of my mind. 
Quite some time ago I wrote an essay about it here. Have a look if you have nothing better to do! 😛

Renowned American conductor and composer Michael Tilson Thomas has died at 81. His spokesperson Connie Shuman says Tilson Thomas died Wednesday night. He led orchestras in Buffalo, Miami, London and San Francisco. Tilson Thomas had surgery for a brain tumor in 2021 and in February 2025 announced the tumor had returned. He conducted his final concert with the San Francisco Symphony in April 2025. Tilson Thomas received 39 Grammy nominations, winning 12, and received a Kennedy Center Honor in 2019. His husband, Joshua Robison, died in February.

I have a collection of quotes I carry in my head, one for every occasion it sometimes seems. The one for now is from English philosopher and mathematician Alfred North Whitehead, who once observed: The major advances in civilizations are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.
Automobiles replacing the horse and carriage era, as well as almost all of the buggy whip industry. Television, described as a vast wasteland by those who preferred radios and reading. The internet which gives us fingertip access to the accumulated knowledge of humankind, even if you have to sift through mountains of falsehoods and nonsense to find it, and which also allows bullies in chat rooms to hide behind a wall of anonymity, spreading ill will as if it were the flu. Perhaps one of the greatest and earliest was Guttenberg and his printing press, making ideas in print much more easily accessible even to the common man - GASP! 
Each of these technological wonders were marvels to humanity in their times, and each presented challenges that had to be met and dealt with.
AI will be the same. It's already producing valuable results in streamlining design and manufacturing processes, but it also gives life to lies and deceptions by unscrupulous predators of other peoples' truths or fortunes.
But the fault lies not in our stars but in ourselves, as Shakespear might remind. Not in the technology but in our reasoned adoption of it and in fitting it with appropriate and effective safeguards and restraints, which can only be developed in a wait-and-see and trial-and-error process of observation, feedback, and adjustment.
There will be bumps in the road that AI will take us down, but it will, I think, lead to a good place in the end as we assimilate the technology into our day-to-day lives.
Now, if only someone in a genome project could find a way to make better humans. Or will we have to that for ourselves. Damn! This could be harder than I thought.

Move over, baby name books — this kindergarten class just rewrote the rules of identity, one “Hello My Name Is” sticker at a time.
Jordan Lake, a fifth-year kindergarten teacher, is going viral on Instagram after filming himself letting his pint-sized pupils temporarily ditch their given names in favor of something a little more … imaginative.
“Letting students change their name for the day because they’re only young once,” he titled the Reel — and buckle up, because the results are exactly as delightfully unhinged as you’d hope.
In the clip topping 7.5 million views, a jovial Lake sits at his desk, armed with a stack of name tags and a Sharpie, calmly preparing for chaos.
Spoiler alert: chaos delivered.
“What do you want your name to be for the rest of the day?” Lake asks one student off-camera.
“Marshmallow,” the child answers without a single beat of hesitation.
No notes. Next up? A budding branding genius.
“Uh, Ochy,” another student says, barely holding in a giggle after an apparent reference to the AI running app. “I was thinking in my head, I think Ochy is the perfect name.”
Frankly, who are we to argue with that kind of conviction?
As seen in the viral clip, the pint-sized rebrand wasn’t just cute — it doubled as a surprisingly sharp lesson in imagination, focus, and a lot less toy-induced chaos.
“I love that,” Lake replies. “Do you know what it means, or it just sounds cute?”
“Mmm, I don’t know,” the student admits — proving once and for all that vibes are sometimes all you need.
“Nice to meet you, Ochy,” Lake says, handing over the freshly minted identity like it’s no big deal.
The names unfolded in a range from silly to sugary sweet to totally made-up, with requests for Kipper and Morty — seeming nods to the animated TV characters — as well as Shady, Foggy, Hello, Wiggly, and Bhum Bhum Kachoom, and even a retro-bland Cindy.
And in a particularly cheeky turn, Mr. Lake’s students used the “classroom rebrand” to change his name … wait for it … Mr. River.
But viewers were quick to point out there’s something deeper going on beneath the giggles.
The exercise, parents and fellow teachers noted in the comments, doubles as a playful lesson in autonomy, imagination — and, yes, basic respect.
“This is such an awesome idea. Also, it illustrates the idea so clearly that it’s just not hard to call people by their preferred names,” one wrote.
Another added, “Teachers be earning gold stars every damn day!! Love this!”
Others were simply charmed by the tiny trendsetters themselves.
“So cute!!! I love their little voices,” someone else weighed in.
“This is so fun! They will remember this forever!” one other noted.
Another commented, “I absolutely love everything. Name choices, your reactions, the joy.”
Viewers are calling the name-changing experiment a masterclass in make-believe — no batteries (or baby name books) required.
And if there were any doubts about Lake’s classroom cred, the comments section shut that down fast.
“Love it !!! Your kiddos are lucky to have you,” one person wrote.
Between Marshmallow, Ochy and whatever comes next, one thing’s clear: in this classroom, creativity is king — and for one glorious day, you can be whoever (or whatever) you want.
As The Post previously reported, experts say a little imagination goes a long way — and that kids don’t need a mountain of toys to have fun.
In fact, too many playthings can send their tiny brains into overload.
“We keep bringing home more and more toys, thinking this is the toy that will get my kid into Harvard,”  Dr. Alexia Metz, an occupational therapist and mom of twins, recently told TODAY.com.
“But then we don’t see the value in their playing because they can’t organize themselves enough to play.”
In a widely cited 2017 study out of the University of Toledo, Metz put toddlers to the test — observing 18- to 30-month-olds in playrooms packed with varying amounts of toys.
Give them 16 options, and it was total toy mayhem — kids ping-ponging from one shiny distraction to the next like tiny, overstimulated social butterflies.
But slash the stash to just four toys, and suddenly, calm prevailed.
The tots slowed down, focused up and actually played — stacking blocks, pressing buttons and diving headfirst into pretend scenarios — the kind of deep, imaginative play child development experts can’t get enough of.

I usually start cooking the item which will take the longest in the oven and then add other dishes as appropriate based on cooking time.  If the temperature for cooking is significantly different. I start with the one which needs the highest temperature and once that one is cooking I add the items which need a lower temperature short of the time needed to completely cook it and adjust the cooking time to allow that first dish to be brought to the proper temperature and put out to rest or to be kept warm.  I then lower the temperature of the oven, sometimes by keeping the door ajar, and bring the lower temp dish to finish closer to the desired temperature.   Timing is key, but once you have figured it out for your favorite combinations, it is really not very difficult.  

The Dark Ages were followed by the Renaissance. Another dark period was followed by the Glorious Revolution.

Great, so I won’t even rest in peace, I’ll rest in plaque.

I’ve given up on most American television programming. I’m a Britbox fan and I read a lot. 

When I get a massage I tip the same whether it's a spa or the guy's own place. Somewhere around 20%. The spa I go to provides an envelope with the masseur's name on it, and you drop it into a box on the way out, so hopefully that means they're not skimming off the tips. But I can't really control what happens to the tips in a spa, so just hope the masseur gets compensated fairly.
To @jeezifonly's points, the spa covers the overhead, but the pay tends to be way less than what the spa charges. This is true of trainers at gyms too... my trainer at Equinox let me know what their compensation structure was, and it was surprising how small a percentage they get from what the gym charges, unless they have lots of clients. But having overhead covered and a good place to conduct business is significant too.
So if you think about it, the masseur in the spa has his overhead covered, but is being paid less. The guy with his own place is keeping his entire fee, but needs to cover his overhead including providing a decent place for business. Maybe that's a spare bedroom, and that has a cost associated with it. So I'd say the same amount for tips regardless.

Here in Texas, you see a lot of lifted four wheel drive pickup trucks with tons of other macho looking accessories and extra loud exhaust systems.  Many easily represent $100k and often bought on credit. I call those: gender-affirming care vehicles.

It is true that before AIDS, there were all sorts of other "gay diseases" that were discussed regularly in the gay community. In fact, I served on the board of a gay organization called Philadelphia Community Health Alternatives in the 1980s, that was founded before AIDS was recognized, because so many gay men developed health problems that their primary care doctors were unaccustomed to deal with, or that the men were uncomfortable revealing to their regular medical providers. We actually started the AIDS Information Hotline that the city government eventually took over.

I never understood asking others to pay for a wedding or vacation, regardless of wealth or celebrity status.  But, not everyone subscribes to a newspaper with the Miss Manners column.

I am curious if those who have posted here saying they have difficulty asking the escort for what they find enjoyable, find it difficult in general to ask for what they want or need.  If the answer to that is yes, a good starting point to getting over this is with an escort.  You are paying him for his "time" and for his expertise.  Utilize both to get what you want and to assist you in being more forthcoming in your not escort hiring life.  I have had times in my life when I was shy about asking for I wanted and guess what? I did not get it.  Escorts and friends and family and clerks at the shoe store are not mind readers.  Ask and ye shall receive or at least, you can move on to someone who may give be better at giving it to you.  

I love your use of correct plural possessive punctuation.  That makes this comment alone worth at least a nickel, not just 2 cents.

Yeah I remember when it was just the "Ambulance Chasers" that spammed their cheap-looking commercials on network TV at 3am because the air time was cheap, but beyond that it was word of mouth and reputation that "reputable" firms had client referrals. What a different world we live in. 

I am leaving Facebook because it keeps showing me videos of former vice presidents dancing.
That's right, I'm being forced out by the Al Gore rhythms.

In the summer of 1967, I was in a monastery on the west side of Detroit, beginning studies for the priesthood. (BTW - it didn't take.)
One night that summer a huge riot broke out in Detroit, about 5 miles from our location. We students went up to the roof and could see a wide-angle expanse or orange glow as fires ravaged the riot-torn area.
In the riot's aftermath, I and my fellow students, as part of multi-faith initiative, went to the devasted neighborhoods to go door-to-door and ask if we could offer help (food, clothing, and so on) to any who needed it.
The priests lent us their Roman collars to go with our black suits, so we looked like junior priests, and even more out of place.
At one house, we were greeted by a young Black man, near our own age, and who couldn't believe what he saw in front of him. With a huge smile and eyes wide open, he laughed and asked, What are you guys doing here? We made our offer of help, but he declined saying he and his family were fine.
But then he said there was one thing we might help with.
You see, he said, I got this uncle named Jack. And my uncle has gotten up on this elephant [not a horse in this story] and now can't get down. So, could you guys help my Uncle Jack off the elephant?
My partner snorted at the question and I turned to him wondering why. I then turned back to the young man and said, Yes, of course we'll help.
My partner now laughed out loud and the young man's eyes got even bigger. No, no, man, See, my uncle's stuck up on this elephant and would you help my Uncle Jack off the elephant?
My partner is now bent over laughing and I again say to the young man, Yes, of course we'll help your uncle!
My partner collapses in a fit of laughter and the young man seems ready to go into convulsions.
I think now that I'm obviously supposed to say "No" but cannot understand why we wouldn't help this young man's poor uncle.
After one more round of back and forth, my now hysterically laughing partner begins to pull me away and down the steps saying goodbye and we're sorry to the young Black man, who now has a story to tell of a completely clueless Catholic boy who didn't even know what "jack off" meant.
There was a time I was that innocent. And that clueless. How things have changed.

There is a 2003 book by Lynne Truss titled Eats, Shoots & Leaves, which inside points out the difference between "A Panda eats shoots and leaves," and "A Panda eats, shoots, and leaves." One statement describes dietary habits and the other requires a post-lunch gunshot. 
The book's subtitle is The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, and I have always loved it! (But unlike the author's title, I am also unabashedly committed to the Oxford comma!)
Thank you for the reminder!

I have a feeling that some of the configurations shown might be better suited to coach/athlete role play at escort $$ rather than any sort of productive massage session. Some might possibly do damage if not perfectly managed by the provider. 
And as a client, if I'm workin' that hard, it's gonna be part of PT covered by Medicare... 😅

The fatted calf?
I'll see myself out.

Welcome!  I’ve learned a lot from the guys on this forum.  Some of it’s even useful!

Two years ago, I rimmed a guy and contracted shigella. The infection was severe, and I became severely dehydrated. I passed out in the shower and almost stopped breathing. Paramedics arrived and administered two bags of IV fluids to me. During my shigella infection, I couldn’t even take a sip of water. It took me three hospital visits and three and a half weeks of recovery. As a result, I’ve stopped rimming altogether. 

"A man's not worth a cent until he's 40.  We just pay him wages until then to make mistakes." -Horace Vandergelder
 
 

About a dozen years ago they dug up a large stretch of Palm Canyon Drive in downtown Palm Springs to upgrade the sewer and water lines. Guess what else they dug up? A lot of big roaches, which scurried all over the sidewalks. Unfortunately, you can't completely get rid of them.