jessmapex

100% . When i was a 20something gay man, i remember wanting to be only with guys around my age. Older men were invisible to me. Now the tables have turned. But judging from own attitude back then I expect to be invisible to the younger gay men.
Str8/bi guys do make for a better company and i feel less judged by them. 
The 1998 film Gods and Monsters based on James Whale's life portrayed the bond between an older gay man and his str8 muse quite well.

I am recently dealing with a situation involving an elderly gay friend.
One of my long time clients retired and moved to Florida ten years ago. He's now in his 90s' and all of his friends down there have since passed away. He moved into an elder-care facility which is lovely and well run, but he's extremely lonely. He reached out to me a couple months ago, hoping I could give him some advice. I've been back and forth a few times searching for a facility that has other gay men for him to socialize with because he is of that generation who spent so much of their time only hanging around gay bars, and gay friends that he is uncomfortable being around straight people. They show him pictures of their grandchildren and talk about their family as part of their social life.  I noticed this makes him feel inferior, no matter how much I keep telling him, that he doesn't need to be the same as everyone else, and he can share the joy without showing pictures he doesn't have. He just can't do it.  It's a missed opportunity for him to be happy in a very nice facility, but you can't change a tiger's stripes so late in life. I think perhaps he never planned to live to 90 because there seems to be little planning for who's going to manage his needs and how his social life is going to function. Hopeful, I can find a facility that is more familiar with some Appletinis in the lounge and a piano bar where everyone sings show tunes.

100% . When i was a 20something gay man, i remember wanting to be only with guys around my age. Older men were invisible to me. Now the tables have turned. But judging from own attitude back then I expect to be invisible to the younger gay men.
Str8/bi guys do make for a better company and i feel less judged by them. 
The 1998 film Gods and Monsters based on James Whale's life portrayed the bond between an older gay man and his str8 muse quite well.

I heartily agree. I have many younger friends. The best ones are straight. They seem more centered and reliable than my younger and, sadly, flakey gay ones.

Your post made my eyes tear up.
I am probably 15-20 yrs away from this (most likely much less than that) and my situation is different. I have never been able to find a spouse, let alone a bf. I have an older brother, but i can not count on him or my niece or nephew in my old and frail days. I had a couple of gay best friends and my hope was they would be around to at least keep an eye on me even if I could not expect them to take care of me. But they too drifted apart during Covid stresses.
My only hope is with my retirement savings i will be able to afford some elder care or a nursing home. I am also researching into options to make it financially attractive to a younger gay man to keep me alive and well. Life insurance alone would make a caretaker want me to pass away sooner than later.
In my 50s itself i am feeling discarded enough to dread what life would be like when i am frail. I am also actively looking in to options to end my life on a high note before i reach a point where i am unable to physically take care of myself.
Meanwhile my gay 'community' at work is fighting with the corporate IT to allow the company chat system to display a person's preferred pronouns.

First, I want to thank @Charlie for bringing up a difficult topic that most of us would just rather avoid. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the results of ignoring this topic. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end pretty. Planning and open honest discussions are everything. 
For context, I have an older brother…useless. Two nephews….both very kind, both very useless. 
The best advice I can give is to work closely with an estate planner to ensure you have the resources available to provide care for yourself. As always talking with your accountant and lawyer about these things is a good idea. They’ve seen hundreds of scenarios (the good, the bad, and the ugly) play out over their careers. Listen to them, even if what they’re telling you sounds harsh and/or unpleasant. They know what works, and what doesn’t work.
Also, make sure everyone around you knows your exit plan. It’s different for all of us. So far, knowing I have an escape hatch, has brought me great calm and helped me survive life’s inevitable rough spots. As they say in disaster planning: during a disaster, nothing will go the way you planned, but at least you had a plan
Finally, go out of your way to engage with people younger than you. Yes, this can be incredibly difficult. You will have to endure listening to them talk about things that you find banal and/or that to which you can’t even remotely relate. You will worry about your relationship being a "burden" on them. They will have to endure listening to you bitch about how much you hate getting older (hint: don’t do it. No one cares and they will start avoiding you if you do.). Be exceedingly kind, generous, and patient with them. In other words, be the friend you want to have. Nothing more, nothing less. At first it may feel strained or artificial. Do it anyways. Bonds develop over time. Most of us sell ourselves short on what we bring to the table for a younger generation. The friends I have watched "grow old gracefully" were the ones who mastered this step most of all. 
On a funny note, the other day I was musing out loud about this topic with my trainer. He unexpectedly piped in with “don’t worry about it bro, that’s what you have me for". I shot back with "I’m talking about the hard part, like having someone to wipe my ass, not someone to count to ten at my bedside". His response?…"the only hard part is going to be keeping you from grabbing my ass while I’m wiping yours." We both had a good laugh and got back to the work out. He’s not my Plan A, but it’s nice to know he wants to be there. 

I’m pretty much in the same situation except I don’t have a spouse. I really haven’t thought about it as much as I should because I think, subconsciously, I’ve been avoiding the subject. I have given two good friends, power of attorney with regard to my medical treatment and finances if I become incapacitated. 

Your post made my eyes tear up.
I am probably 15-20 yrs away from this (most likely much less than that) and my situation is different. I have never been able to find a spouse, let alone a bf. I have an older brother, but i can not count on him or my niece or nephew in my old and frail days. I had a couple of gay best friends and my hope was they would be around to at least keep an eye on me even if I could not expect them to take care of me. But they too drifted apart during Covid stresses.
My only hope is with my retirement savings i will be able to afford some elder care or a nursing home. I am also researching into options to make it financially attractive to a younger gay man to keep me alive and well. Life insurance alone would make a caretaker want me to pass away sooner than later.
In my 50s itself i am feeling discarded enough to dread what life would be like when i am frail. I am also actively looking in to options to end my life on a high note before i reach a point where i am unable to physically take care of myself.
Meanwhile my gay 'community' at work is fighting with the corporate IT to allow the company chat system to display a person's preferred pronouns.

Your post made my eyes tear up.
I am probably 15-20 yrs away from this (most likely much less than that) and my situation is different. I have never been able to find a spouse, let alone a bf. I have an older brother, but i can not count on him or my niece or nephew in my old and frail days. I had a couple of gay best friends and my hope was they would be around to at least keep an eye on me even if I could not expect them to take care of me. But they too drifted apart during Covid stresses.
My only hope is with my retirement savings i will be able to afford some elder care or a nursing home. I am also researching into options to make it financially attractive to a younger gay man to keep me alive and well. Life insurance alone would make a caretaker want me to pass away sooner than later.
In my 50s itself i am feeling discarded enough to dread what life would be like when i am frail. I am also actively looking in to options to end my life on a high note before i reach a point where i am unable to physically take care of myself.
Meanwhile my gay 'community' at work is fighting with the corporate IT to allow the company chat system to display a person's preferred pronouns.

First, my heart goes to you and  your spouse. I am not in the same situation, as I do have siblings, but I cannot count on any of them. I have a great relationship with my inlaws and I feel comfortable that they can or will help me if I lose my husband.
Have you considered having a conversation with your spouses relatives? Bringing that subject might not be easy, and it's ambarassing, but having clarity might help you make the necessary plans for the future. I'm also glad that you are bringing that subject up now, not at the time when you are already alone. I think this might be the time to start making plans and having conversations with key people (I imagine that after 55 years, many of your matters around the business of life are in order).
It is scary for many of us being old, sick and alone. That's particularly terrifying for gay men of the older generation, especially looking at the way the so-called "community" is now. I think reaching out to people now might be useful for you to have a clue of what you could expect should you find yourself alone.

I wonder if there is anyone else here who is dealing with a situation similar to mine. I am now basically the fulltime caregiver for a spouse who is several years older than I am, and in steady decline, both physically and mentally (advanced Alzheimer's). He comes from a large family, which includes a younger brother, a married nephew and an unmarried niece, all of whom are both able and willing to assume responsibility for him if anything were to happen to me. However, I have no family; I was an only child, so I not only have no siblings, I also have no nieces or nephews; my closest blood relations are a couple of younger cousins whom I barely know, no one from a younger generation to take care of me if I become unable to care for myself. If I should need care while my spouse is still alive, I have no doubt his brother, niece and nephew would take care of both of us. But there is a good possibility that I will outlive my spouse, possibly for many years. My spouse and I have been together for 55 years, so his brother has known me since he was a college kid (he's now 75);  his children have known me all their lives, and sometimes even refer to me as "Uncle Charlie." Nevertheless, I wonder if they would feel the same kind of  responsibility to to take care of me after their brother and uncle is gone, even though it would probably not impose a financial burden on them. I like them and trust them, but I don't think I should expect the same commitment from them that I would expect from my own family members, if I had any.
If anyone here is in a similar situation, what kind of plans have you made for a future in which you might no longer be able to care for yourself?
 

Personally I am very much disgusted with this me-too garbage, being applied to every bit of "next morning regret".
You willingly put yourself in the position to exchange sexual favors for career opportunity and cash, you have NOT been "raped".
You may regret your decision years later but this was YOUR DECISION.
 

He is good if you can catch him. Requires pics etc . More selective about who he takes on as a client. More of a newbie trying to see if he can make a few bucks on the side meeting guys of his choice. 

I have met him and posted about him in another thread. He is real. He is highly unavailable, selective and not very enthusiastic about new business. I suspect this a side-hustle for him that he does whenever he fancies. 

semantics????
Semantics, in the context of communication, refers to the meaning of words. It is how we personally interpret a word. Ever heard of the phrase 'Let's not argue over semantics'? This means that people are not disagreeing about the material facts. They are disagreeing about the definition of a word or phrase.
So what's YOUR definition of "Plinkett"? 🤣🎯🤣
It's funny the lengths people will go to justify their own misspellings. 😇
 

The lesbians I know and see would never suck a cock. They might wrestle with a man and take him down in seconds 🤗

The lesbians I know and see would never suck a cock. They might wrestle with a man and take him down in seconds 🤗

The fact that he is only on FriendBoy is the first clue.

Friendboy Charleslove in San Jose & Silicon Valley , California, USA
FRIENDBOY.PRO Thanks for reading my profile. I’m a simple guy who likes to share nice chatting, dinners, smiles, cuddles and hugs. Souls connections would... Met this guy yesterday. Totally outdated pics, does not speak a word of English, demanded I pay ahead of time and takes only cash. He never told me any of this till he showed up. And smelled awful. I had to force him to take a damn shower. He seemed to be on some substance, could not get hard, and his ass was pimply and did not want to get there eeew
I guess trying this sleazy website was a mistake. 
 
Don't pay him ahead of time and its your money, and time lost. 

These are usually made at home by local women who themselves deliver it. I tried once. The meal was ok. Not sure what cleanliness standards are followed in home kitchens.

"Generous" , "G4P" (gay for pay) were the codewords that connected amateur providers with clients on Craigslist personals. We need to come up with and popularize new codewords to use on the new media and help break Rentmen's monopoly.
Any suggestions?

"Generous" , "G4P" (gay for pay) were the codewords that connected amateur providers with clients on Craigslist personals. We need to come up with and popularize new codewords to use on the new media and help break Rentmen's monopoly.
Any suggestions?

I had luck once with a local OnlyFans guy. Rent.Men can be expensive and a lot to deal with on the escort's side so I think some guys get off it every once in a while and just focus on existing clients and OnlyFans. But if you reach out through the right platforms, they definitely can be down.

Verification == the card didn't decline

The lesbians I know and see would never suck a cock. They might wrestle with a man and take him down in seconds 🤗