jessmapex

10 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

A provider’s personal preferences aside, I think it’s not just a matter of a few hundred dollars, but their calculation of their entire livelihood, given prevailing client norms.

 

Oh wow.. prevailing client norm is barebacking? Looks like I have some catching up to do (and catching something too 😜)!

In SF and LA area, I am still getting $300-400 quotes. Even $500 from the hotest visiting ones (if you go by the pix displayed). At least LA has some quality providers, but SF has totally gone downhill to consider that price point.

21 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Serious question. If you have rejected on race, why is it hurtful to face the same treatment? I understand being rejected is never fun, but aren’t you being played by your own rules?  

Yes, I am, that's why I said I don't blame anyone.  But it hurts more when you get shot vs when you shoot someone. That's all I meant to say there.

Race is definitely a factor on both sides - provider and client. I remember reading a newspaper article about pimps in NYC that said Caucasian women brought in much more $$ than other races. Hence women from eastern Europe and Russia are preferred trafficking victims. 

Race is also a big factor in non-commercial hook ups e.g via Grindr.

It has been discussed on this forum before. I am sure Rentmen has data about this based on the most commonly used Advance search parameters on the site. I bet a data driven conclusion will prove many points discussed here. 

I have been on both sides of this (as a race-based rejector and rejectee) , so I don't blame anyone but the society we live in and our upbringing that bias our preferences. But preferences do evolve as one ages and matures. 

I will however mention that it was hurtful to be a rejectee on Grindr (and Craigslist before that), but it is supremely hurtful when a provider rejects for race. A good lesson confirming money can't buy everything. 

A simple solution to this issue is to bring  hustler bars back in some upgraded non-seedy form. Meet in person , pick who you like, negotiate, and take home.

No data trail for cops. No deposits. No flaking.

16 minutes ago, Danny-Darko said:

I've been told many many times by people in the "sex industry" that many if not most female prostitutes are and identify as lesbians. Yet they give BJ's to men and have sex with men. Does that make them "straight"? And are they in denial about their sexuality? And if not why doesn't the same apply to men who have sex with men for money? Just some food for thought for those that say men can't be straight if they have any sort of sexual contact with another man. 

The lesbians I know and see would never suck a cock. They might wrestle with a man and take him down in seconds 🤗

There are two types of escorts who ask for deposits.

Genuine guys who put in time and effort to get ready and travel to you with public or hired transport. Generally, considering factors such as your interaction with them, their RM reviews, comments on this site (for some of them) , your gut feeling, your eagerness to meet, perceived truthfulness of pix (very professionally done portfolio, model/ movie star looks may point to a fake profile),  you can pay a small deposit to cover transport. But such providers are rare. Also, in this case you can consider offering sending a one-way Uber instead of a deposit. Also, consider calling the escort. You can tell a lot about an escort by talking to them. A 25 yr old talks differently than a 40 yr old. Also, there are accents that can help (if an "all American boy next-door" sounds like an Eastern European, you are in for an unpleasant surprise).

Most deposit askers .. especially the ones who ask for a large portion of their charges ...are out to take your money and run. They are probably not even escorts..most likely just someone running a scam from Florida. I have been hiring for 22 years and have learned this only the hard way. Trust your gut, not the smaller head. 

Despite all this, I fell victim to a pay-in-advance scam as recently as two weeks ago. But that was on Chaturbate and the guy I saw on camera was an all-american boy next-door from a southern state. 

I like the idea of escrow accounts, but given the risk, no sane FinTech company will offer it anytime soon.

For us newbies on this message board could someone tell us what happens at the PS weekend aside from the dinner? Anything juicy? 

At work, I am increasingly running into women far more narcissistic than men. So, I am not surprised.

I have met him a year or so ago when he visited the San Francisco Bay area. The experience was not worth repeating. He is eastern European and is not particularly friendly. Also, the pic is likely very old.

I have met him. He is a good escort, but too short and petite for my tastes.

...and if you do OF without showing face, you won't get as many subscribers. Personally I never subscribe to OF channels or give tips to Chaturbate performers who don't show faces. 

5 hours ago, maninsoma said:

I assume you are at least 60 years old if you recall a time when only women were being objectified in advertising?  Using partially naked men to sell products has been going on for decades now.

Biologically I am in my late 40s, psychologically I am in my 70s, but my libido is like a man in his twenties 😀 .  

I do remember seeing the Marky Mark Calvin Klein hoardings in the 90s and, yes, I do agree, straight men baring it all started long back with creative gay minds operating behind the scenes. Gay men have always had their own niche where they have been freely and happily objectifying themselves in the gay media such as the Advocate magazine. 

But now straight men seem to be coming onboard the self-objectification train.

My point is, as gay men and women become powerful in the society and the corporate world, will they follow suit and mainstreamize what straight men started long ago with women. (See this Nypost and this NYTimes article).

I think it has happened here and there (eg Calvin Klein), but will become more mainstream for the reasons I mentioned above.

I recall in the previous decades as women's lib came to the forefront, 'objectification of women' by showing nearly naked women in ads, magazines, TV to sell goods and services was a hot topic. 

Well, several decades later, it seems like a new era has arrived. You go on instagram and you see scantily clad men showing off their muscled bodies, butts in bikini briefs, wet, sweaty, beautiful male bodies fill my insta search page. That may be the case just with my insta given that's what I mainly use insta for 😀. But the point is you go on the internet and it is so easy to find scantily clad and nearly naked muscle gods selling protein powders, body building lessons, underwears, tight pants and T-shirts etc. On Chaturbate beautiful straight men are more than willing to spread their cheeks or show off their big boners for a tip for the pleasure of gay men and women alike.

As gays and women have become empowered, and as especially women are doing much better in schools, universities than men, and thus taking up C-suite leadership positions, and gay/bi men are not too far behind, are we seeing objectification of men?

If yes, I welcome it (with a wicked smile). Or should I feel guilty? 

Do these men object to their objectification? 

I started thinking about this when I read the following thread on how escorting affects men vs women and a post in there that says many men escort willingly and gladly while most women don't. So, it crossed my mind - do these men showing their bodies off on insta know that they are objectifying themselves and do so gladly?

HustlaBall is coming up next weekend in Vegas. Will it be a similar experience? I am thinking of checking it out this year.

I have met him a couple of times in LA and SF. First time I met him, he was more muscular. Last time ..just before the pandemic he was less muscular. But he is a gentleman and an open minded Brazilian guy. Go for it.

I have a cautionary tale on this topic.

I started hiring in my late twenties/early 30s. Almost 20 yrs ago. I had several close gay friends - a few were especially close and remained close until a year or so ago. I was always honest with them and told them about my lifestyle which I summarized as my gay friends were my family and my romantic needs were outsourced to external vendors i.e escorts.

A couple of these friends also knew descriptions of some of the guys I met and about my good and bad experiences. 

My general thinking was as I was honest and upfront about my choices, it should be ok. One friend expressed minor concerns and others being very progressive were non-judgemental. This lifestyle choice never seemed to come between our friendships. These friendships were my primary support structure.

Fast forward twenty years later, as the pandemic and related stresses rolled in, and as the political polarization grew, one of the progressive friends who could not hold a job down and over the years grew somewhat jealous of my modest success (basic ability to have a good paying job for all these years) had a fall out with me after getting drunk. The words that came out of his mouth were eye-opening. He said you might be successful, but you pay for s*x. "You are a pedophile that you go after young guys" ( I have never been with anyone under 23 - but I do admit my preference is for escorts between 25-35 ). He called me all sorts of names. The alcohol and built in jealousy brought out how he really felt about what I thought was an honest and upfront lifestyle that I personally have no qualms about as long as there is mutual consent and no exploitation. Another close friend, who departed a year before this one due to political differences (he was tea-party supporter and later a Trumpster and I am somewhat left of the center) which he grew especially sensitive about in the polarized pandemic years, also mentioned about me 'hiring hookers' as one of my bad traits in our final argument.

So 20-21 years ..after being very close friends - almost equivalent of a family - I realized that friends, no matter how progressive, harbored negative feelings toward my ability to hire the best looking guys to have some fun. Those came out eventually despite them telling me it was cool with them through the years.

So, my advice is do not overshare. Gay friendships fall apart, friends are not family. They will use this against you when they no longer want to be your friends. 

With this experience, I now have become very introvert. 

It just amazes me how the cliched saying "if it's too good to be true ..." never fully sinks into our psyche. There is a chance a 20something super-attractive guy genuinely likes and romantically loves a much older guy... but it is very slim. The person who lost 300k on a scam like this, I wonder if that kinda money was just a pocket change for him. If he has that much money, I wonder how he made his fortune if he is so gullible. May be he is a senior citizen not at the best of his wits. May be he just inherited it. Who knows! 

But then again, the so called crypto-bros and sophisticated investors lost millions into a scheme propped up by another young guy - SBF - who sits arrested in his parents' Palo Alto, CA home. So don't feel bad for yourself. We are a society that always falls for trickery and charm of our youngsters. 

By the way, Elizabeth Holmes - waiting for her sentence to begin -  also stays not too far from where SBF is at. She had the likes of former secretary of state George Shultz drawn into her scam.

51 minutes ago, samhexum said:

Do gays have their own calendar, like the Chinese & Jewish people?  If so, does the new year begin on a different date every year like theirs?  Just curious, as I've never heard anything about it.

Lol. But seriously, can't say if you meant this the 'funny' way or the 'woke' way.

I recall when I was younger and leaner, I had less fatty padding in crotch (golden triangle) area. That made my dick look pretty big. Now that I have some padding there, the dick looks smaller. Could that be the case here? 

I have decided to visit LA and West Hollywood for the nye. I will stay in WeHo. Aside from the WeHo bars, which place/nye event would you recommend for a lone john like me. Is it the MasterBeat event at the Mayan where the cool guys will be at? I am willing to shell out some bucks to shrug these holiday doldrums off. There is talk about economic doom and gloom for 2023. Thought I could live a little before all that rolls in.

There are escorts available on nye ? I would like one. Hoping to find one in West Hollywood.

18 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Whether you’re gay or not…in this day and age does it really matter?

Nothing is all that digital….or certain. And your feelings will evolve in snapshots of time.

Live and enjoy for today

It does not matter. I was just curious about where I fall on the sexuality spectrum as someone who is labeled as 'gay', but does not meet the main sexual criterion of that label - attraction toward a penis. That's it. Just something to talk about.

Yeah definitely questionable. I responded to Alexii-vega's ad and when asked for a latest selfie I got Swarvoski's pix.  Guess a few of them are traveling in pack and posting ads with fake pix. The person showing up at your door will likely be someone different from the pic. Could even be attractive. 

This seems like the Ukrainian guys in LA formerly. But guess they left to fight the war with the Russians.

A more practical question is how do they sit on a toilet without the head touching or in the water 🤔