Monarchy79

And it’s difficult to influence, if you’re not considered to be the “status quo”, from the beginning....

It’s not to say that blacks haven’t taken this path.. White gay influencers, get more backing, more promotion, and more avenues for growth... why? 1.) the gay population of majority white (and as people support thisenin their likeness (or dreams), the white gay influencers get a bit more support, and visibility 2.) because of #1.) white influencers get more partnerships, and endorsements. So just like in straight world, the odds are already stacked against minority influencers, because the playing field isn’t even to begin with.

I understand, but broadening the scope will actually prove to be inffective in getting to the root of the issue.......is your intent to get better insight on this issue? Or to throw somewhat of a really good monkey wrench in this to say that.... “well you must either call all straight and gay people racist for their dating preferences, or you must say that they are all not.” If that’s the case, that was an excellent caveat to throw in (seriously, you have excellent debating tactics, and I love it). However, keep in mind that white, heterosexual, relationships are the idealized “standard”, of American relationships... from the figurines that are placed on top of wedding cakes to the “leave it to beaver”, images...even when gays do marry, the structure of their relationship, is built on the same principles and ideals of a straight, white marriage. My point in this is that, since white heterosexual relationships are the ideal and the “norm”, it’s not as easy to say that they are racist for not dating/marrying outside of their race as a whole.

This is very true... to go further, I’ll say that the white man not only covets the black man, but all “other” men... the white man also decides and sets the tone for what’s “acceptable”, “attractive”, and “preferred”... This is why these “preferences are not to be taken lightly... Let’s go a bit further... I remember about 20 years ago, red heads were not deemed to be “sexy”, in gay white world... it was all about the blondes.. but once the mysterious demagogues of gay white world, suddenly decided that redheads are now “gingers”, and are “hot”, everyone followed suit, and now an original redhead is highly desired, freckles and all. What makes this power dangerous, is that it’s infectious... Just as in the fashion industry, it is stated that trends and what we claim we prefer is already decided for us and influenced by leaders in marketing and advertising... the same can be said of these “A-list-white guys”, who the rest of gay world worship and follow their lead... Trust me, the day when those guys have black men on their arms as husbands and significant others, and social media portrays them the same way they portray gay white men, these so called “preferences”, will magically change.

That’s an excellent trick question... ?? That’s also quite complex... The reason why the focus here is on male to male interaction is because: 1.) this forum typically focuses on that. 2.) the OP was expressing this experiences with men, primarily of the homosexual persuasion, and 3.) it’s a topic that brings such gasps, because it’s so blatantly hipocritical. One always wonders how a group that pounds to death to the masses, the issue of discrimination and rights, yet in turn, marginalized and discriminates against sub-segments, within their own group.

You just hit the nail on the head!!! Eloquently stated!!!

I wasn’t referring to your family.. I was referring to peers... other gay white men.

I think the other disconnect is that I don’t think our choices are that compartmentalized... most white guys I have seen from personal experience, prefer a world where there are no people of color. 1.) their dating is exclusively white 2.) their friendships and platonic relationships are exclusively white 3.) their interactions in business are exclusively white 4.) they also ensure that their entertainments venues and travel destination minimize color as well... So it’s typically rare that a person who has this “preference”, only limits their preference to sex.... they typically expand that preference in other aspects of life, business and entertainment that has tremendous impacts... Why this concerns me is “Mr. Preference”, may also be at the table of many job interviews... who’s to say that a well qualified black man didn’t get hired because “it’s just a preference” ?

I was speaking in jest...☺️??

I agree with that. I also think that we should start asking ourselves why we have these “preferences”... the source of the preferences are deep rooted in beliefs and things we were taught in our environmental upbringing.

As you are a white guy who has a preference for black men.... think about those times over the years where you’ve been in an all white gay male setting and had the courage to express your preference......now remember the commentary you got back.... ? We all know it wasn’t roses and complimentary either... lol

Ahhh, I see the disconnect here my friend.. ☺️ Racism isn’t always and solely based on hate....... just because you may not hate a group of people, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not racist.... I’ll explain... In the masseur’s case, in some cases, the potential clients may absolutely hate black people.. we would obviously agree that’s definitely racist.. but going into the other negative stereotypes, beliefs and assumptions that marginalize him... such as “Black people smell “wierd” “Black people arent “clean” “He is a down low thug, and may rob and kill me” “He might have AIDS”, Are bundled into the “preference” category... but literally have the same impacts as the originally noted “hatred”, I just mentioned... This black masseur has limitations on earning money because of beliefs that are watered down into preferences, but when looking deeper, are still built from a foundation of racist beliefs and ideologies.

If not more racist. And any gay person of color will l tell you... we get our first “wake up” call when we “come out”, and attempt to join gay world with open arms.... and the first mistake you make is going to a predominantly white gay bar... That’s where you get that first taste of racism... lol

I’ll say this: Preference is the “decision and choice” Racism is the “foundation for that choice”.... Let’s dig deeper.... A shop owner may not want to bake wedding cakes for gay clients.... that’s their preference. Declining service to gays is the choice. Homophobia and bigotry towards gays is the foundation and source of that choice. My point is this. People have the right to make decisions however they choose. Those decisions may come from an unfair and unreasonable place and a construct of beliefs and principles that aren’t “politically correct”. But calling it “just a preference” doesn’t lighten the impact. So in this black masseur’s case.. These customers are expressing their preference not to be massaged by a black man.... That preference is based on their beliefs about black men.

1. Make it clear on your ads that you are black I think you just like debating with me... don’t you ??

No surprise here... plenty of gays are racist, and are usually the most vile and viscous with it. I see it everyday. Don’t let rainbow flags and the glitter fool you ???

Amen!!! ???????? And won’t have to worry about wearing diapers in old-age either!!! ????

I’m certain that the escorts who went to Ed Buck’s house thought they were in a “safe environment” ... ?.... Yet no one seems to want to address that issue... I wonder why ? ?

Here we go again... 1.) The area he’s staying in isn’t “Anacostia” 2.) He guy probably found a cheap AirBnB, and didn’t know to contact any elitist gay white men to school him not to stay in SE DC.. 3.) I guess the same idea of trivializing political correctness, for the sake of “gay men’s safety”, is the same reasons why: a. When at the gym locker room, the gay white guys ensure at least three times that their locks are secure when I’m present to ensure I don’t steal their dirty gym clothes, packages of coke, and fresh poppers. b. People stare at me to confirm I live in my building (that’s not in SE), because my black ass could be a potential danger.... C. Cops follow me in my car and check my license plates... all the while a white serial killer could be driving by down the same street with a dead body in his trunk and will go unnocticed. People like you are all about eliminating political correctness, unless it’s directed at you... so the next time someone assumes that you are either a child molester, have AIDS, or commit white collar crimes, just remember, people are just assuring their “safety”.

It’s a bit deeper than that, as the four quads in DC are quite big, and I’ve found that many people tend to make uninformed blanket statements about each. There is a major issue with zip code discrimination in the DC metropolitan area, which runs deep. It’s quite complex. In this town, people will literally make assumed judgments on one’s character, assumed education, and class based on their zip code and quadrant that they live in, and commonly make blanket statements about it. There have even been cases where employers were found to omit resumes of qualified candidates for jobs, if their home addresses were from certain zip codes. Even business would discriminate as well. The irony is that once the neighborhood fully gentrifies, the name of the neighborhood is changed, the stigma suddenly disappears and the elitist arbiters of judgment choose another neighborhood to deem as “unsavory”. Here’s a quick example: https://www.google.com/amp/s/wtop.com/dc/2019/08/dc-settles-with-window-company-in-discrimination-case/amp/

That’s not the only area where I own property, So nothing “explains” it. Even before I owned property in THAT area, I’ve heard the same rhetoric by people like you....

I won’t engage any further in this topic (only because it makes my blood boil)... for those who live in DC, many understand that there is a long withstanding issue with neighborhood stereotyping, zip-code discrimination, and specifically in DC, Quadrant marginalization. And also what I call “neighborhood snobbery” . So typically, without reviewing actual data statistics, if an area where a person lives in is in the SE quadrant of the city (on the OTHER side of the river, it is automatically assumed they live in a bad, poor, dirty, crime-ridden neighborhood because the area is predominantly black, and some sections within it has high crime rates. Because of this, this entire quadrant is assumed to be “dangerous”, “unsafe”, and “ghetto”. Wanderoz is one of those people who has these ideas and that’s fine.... However, I have a property near Naylor Gardens (in Hillcrest to be exact), no crime, and the only critters that’s in my back yard were deer and raccoons...

Oh.... you’re THAT guy...?

Shame on you for those old, archaic stereotypes of an area you know little about. If you’re in DC, I’ll gladly take you for a ride through this so-called bad neighborhood to see how wrong you actually are.

1.) Naylor Gardens is NOT in far Southeast. Far southeast extends to such areas as Congress Heights and others.