MaybeMaybeNot

Just today, I requested the title song "Mame" be sung at a showtune bar.  The singer replied, "I can't sing 'Mame', it's too racist". 😢 

I find all of the stories in this thread to be incredibly helpful and inspirational. Being a 64 year old, closeted gay man, to all family and friends, and married to my wife for 25 years, we have no children. All of my family and friends are conservative evangelical Christians. I truly have felt alone in this struggle with my sexuality. It is my two providers, who have been supportive and kind, to an older man, exploring his true sexuality. I am beyond grateful for this awesome online community of men who are braver, more gifted and better men, than I will ever be. Thank you for all the helpful information and stories, this community shares on a daily basis. It gives me the courage to go on, and find hope and support, as I figure out how I may someday come out to everyone. 

Leaving some flyers in an STI clinic or their public restroom might help recruit some interested volunteers. 

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVZh3YgPFXVyxtoik7yd6NI-Iv3-_6PDU2fQS_5VIdnah41Dsgi0CLY2W2A-nopojgmq5NI1_rqGrrbnxPkBuY23Yt4AB-id08TvTj5zLoGnokQiN6UEqSg9kldM6OLa6_BDh8XFfirt1ddlb3fl24eenKgBCdrcO7eL6e3Wr7G7huW7B0Y0eJQBfMLw/s539/2142 Lil bro is dressed for the occasion.gif

A motorcycle accident at the age of 31. He was an early star at Helix Studios.

I was an awkward teen who had yet to grow into my eventual avatar perfection and I found some less than perfect men attractive.  The heart wants what it wants and so does the cock.

I am not into doing it.  I have been mostly indifferent to having it done to me, but I did have one buddy in the past who made it feel wonderful. There is something appealing about having someone do it to you,  knowing they want to actually be in a space that is so private and where I feel the least desirable. But, I don't have a ton of sensation back there, so the act itself is often wasted on me. 
That said, I have taken to loving good rimming videos, as long as I don't see the hole itself. There is something beautiful about seeing a sexy face buried nose-deep inside a beautiful butt or seeing a sexy butt lowering onto a handsome face. I blame Lawson James, whose fuzzy peach is beyond perfection. I can't see myself ever rimming anyone, but it has become sexy to watch. 
For illustration:
https://twitter.com/bruno40a/status/1946541215043711380

Do these discerning gentlemen of good character call you on your white slimline telephone with last number redial facilities?
  

CBS has not only promoted the hunk Tony Dokoupil to Nightly News anchor starting Jan 5, but they've also stolen gorgeous Matt Gutman away from ABC !  Definitely taking a cue from ABC's playbook.

My comment is not that one should do something they do not like, rather, they should not dislike something they have not tried.  Not having a desire to something is an aversion but it is different than a dislike which is related to experience.  One can have both an aversion and a dislike but sampling is necessary t for a dislike but not for an aversion.  
One might have this example:  
One may be averse to bukkake but while one may assume one would dislike it, one does not know it for sure until several muscular men have ejaculated on one's face while groaning loudly and collapsing on one in a sweaty heap.  .  

I am not into doing it.  I have been mostly indifferent to having it done to me, but I did have one buddy in the past who made it feel wonderful. There is something appealing about having someone do it to you,  knowing they want to actually be in a space that is so private and where I feel the least desirable. But, I don't have a ton of sensation back there, so the act itself is often wasted on me. 
That said, I have taken to loving good rimming videos, as long as I don't see the hole itself. There is something beautiful about seeing a sexy face buried nose-deep inside a beautiful butt or seeing a sexy butt lowering onto a handsome face. I blame Lawson James, whose fuzzy peach is beyond perfection. I can't see myself ever rimming anyone, but it has become sexy to watch. 
For illustration:
https://twitter.com/bruno40a/status/1946541215043711380

Follow up...just Googled him. Married with two kids...so can't mention his name. Hope he is still getting some action on the side...(I know I am ) 😉

Hot.
I had a regular thing going with a team member for the Penguins when I lived in Pittsburgh. I won't mention his name since he wasn't "out" and I dont know if he ever did come out later.  But I will say it's always been sexy to me when I would find a hot guy who is a professional athlete especially if he's closeted. Its like you got access to a secret club. I never understood this obsession that gays have with outing everyone. Theres something very sexy about hooking up with a "str8" presenting athlete. I would literally be far less excited if he were openly gay. 

I refused to eat spinach when I was child.  My mother encouraged me to eat it but it just seemed gross.  After my older brother convinced me to try it and then say I did not care for it, my mother would stop bothering me about it.  Well, i tried it, I liked it and that was the end of it.  
Rimming was something I did not enjoy until I tried it.  It is not in my top ten of things to do, but I have tried it and I know when I want to do it or if my partners wants me to do it, I have the ability to proceed without it being an issue.  To those who have not tried it, I recommend coming over to the dark side, at least for a trial run.  https://music-memes.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/2e3cf94e-5ad7-4779-aa72-8a262182083e/gif

I am not into doing it.  I have been mostly indifferent to having it done to me, but I did have one buddy in the past who made it feel wonderful. There is something appealing about having someone do it to you,  knowing they want to actually be in a space that is so private and where I feel the least desirable. But, I don't have a ton of sensation back there, so the act itself is often wasted on me. 
That said, I have taken to loving good rimming videos, as long as I don't see the hole itself. There is something beautiful about seeing a sexy face buried nose-deep inside a beautiful butt or seeing a sexy butt lowering onto a handsome face. I blame Lawson James, whose fuzzy peach is beyond perfection. I can't see myself ever rimming anyone, but it has become sexy to watch. 
For illustration:
https://twitter.com/bruno40a/status/1946541215043711380

I am not into doing it.  I have been mostly indifferent to having it done to me, but I did have one buddy in the past who made it feel wonderful. There is something appealing about having someone do it to you,  knowing they want to actually be in a space that is so private and where I feel the least desirable. But, I don't have a ton of sensation back there, so the act itself is often wasted on me. 
That said, I have taken to loving good rimming videos, as long as I don't see the hole itself. There is something beautiful about seeing a sexy face buried nose-deep inside a beautiful butt or seeing a sexy butt lowering onto a handsome face. I blame Lawson James, whose fuzzy peach is beyond perfection. I can't see myself ever rimming anyone, but it has become sexy to watch. 
For illustration:
https://twitter.com/bruno40a/status/1946541215043711380

California is prohibitvely expensive. I live in SoCal, and I just paid $4.09/ gal at Costco. Gas at the neighboring gas station was $4.59. Rent is high. Groceries are high; when I travel home to the Midwest, I don't even look at prices because whatever it is, they are cheaper than what I am used to. 
The medical system is difficult to navigate, and the dentists here are like the car dealers. They sell you the upgrade without telling you they are upgrading you. I learned that the hard way because a friend of mine used to be a dentist. When I tell him what each new dentist I try is suggesting, he tells me what part of the treatment is inflated. I keep changing dentists, trying to find someone I can trust. No success yet. 
Crime is high and homeless people are all over, including elderly in wheelchairs. Beware, you could be next. 
Car insurance is high.  It almost doubled when I moved here. 
I moved here 8 years ago and would have moved away, except my partner lives here. If it wasn't for him, I could never survive. When I was preparing to move here,  I thought,  "Well, the cost of living is high, but the income will be higher. " Unfortunately, the jobs I see here pay the same range as they did back home in the Midwest. 
California has beautiful weather and nice people, but there is a reason we are losing population to other states.  Based on your concerns,  I am not sure it will meet your needs.  

Attitudes change over time. 
20 years ago: 

https://media-2-albums.gayporntube.com/contents/albums/sources/1497000/1497965/195927456.jpg

I’d rather watch someone get edged than watch someone get/give anal or oral.  There’s something about being able to seeing the guy’s dick, his facial reactions, and his whole body squirming that really gets me going.  The money shots can be pretty impressive too.  I’ve never been edged by a professional myself but it’s definitely on my bucket list.