MaybeMaybeNot

I am a huge fan of musicals! I own hundreds of cast albums. My enthusiasm for seeing most everything that comes to town has waned in the last few years because audiences are getting ruder. It's hard to pay that much for a ticket only to sit near someone who refuses to stop talking. The theatres won't do anything to address it. Favorite show include Hello, Dolly!; Guys and Dolls; Fiddler on the Roof; Aida; In the Heights; Bells are Ringing; Jane Eyre; Les Mis; and Kiss Me, Kate.

This was a really beautiful article. I really appreciate @Rod Hagenfor sharing.

Thank you. There are times when I look back over my life and wonder what might have been if I had been allowed to figure out I was gay sooner. I would have loved to have built a life with someone from a young age and had children, among other things. But then, I love my partner now and am so hankful to have him. I loved my parents. My mom, who would have been devastated if I came out, was a warrior, and I miss her so much. My dad, who said plenty of anti-gay things when I was growing up (he wasn't too bright) would have said, "I just want you to be happy." As for my church and college, I still have good friends from those days and love all those people. Although we were taught being gay was a sin, etc., people were treated with love and respect. I will always speak highly of my two pastors. Not that it wasn't damaging, but also, a lot of good came out of it.

I was/am a late starter. I am still only out of the closet to a few in my personal life. For me, I was the quintessential good kid. After attending a drug/alcohol treatment class to support my sister, I realized that I was an invisible child (the one who doesn't draw attention to himself because everyone else is getting attention--one for good things, the other for bad--and I just did what I was supposed to). My parents started going to church when I was in later elementary. Once I came to realize I had an attraction to men, I knew it was not acceptable to the church or to my parents. I remember my 7thy grade health class teacher showing a video where it was said being gay was okay, and I had the distinct idea that it wasn't and that my parents wouldn't like the video. I went to a conservative religious college, where the narrative was that people weren't born gay and there were therapies to help them. Those ministries were promoted in church. I never pursued them because I was so ashamed and didn't want to find healing, only to carry the label with me throughout my life. As I witnessed with someone I knew in my past, it didn't seem to make sense to do the work to become ex-gay, only to bear that label for the rest of your life. After a lifetime of doing what I was supposed to do and being the good kid, the good Christian, I finally hooked up with a guy I found online when I was 32. I was frustrated. Despite trying my best to make the best decisions, my life was falling apart (career, finances, dreams). Then, hooking up (or actually trying to hook up) became an increasingly more frequent activity. But I still told myself, if my finances changed, I would join one of those programs to change me. At 40, I moved across country alone, and I had to confront my sexual identity. I tried joining church groups and secular groups to make friends, and it just wasn't happening. It's hard to make friends at that age, and I was accustomed to a robust friend group. I wanted to check out one of those therapy groups to stop being gay, but I couldn't afford it or make the commitment with a difficult work schedule. I was still hooking up, but I turned down any friendships that would have extended beyond the bedroom, afraid of identifying as gay, getting outed by people from my church groups, and then never being able to get married to a woman. During this period, I would go to YouTube and watch testimonies of people who were converted out of homosexuality. I used it to encourage me. Then, I stumbled onto a video from CBN, of all places, which showed the ministry's changing attitudes toward homosexuality. Among those interviewed was a Christian researcher who basically said, "There is no scientific evidence that therapy can actually change sexual orientation." It was eye-opening. I had already been disillusioned by the church's response to Trump's infidelities ("locker room talk") in comparison to how they told us to think during the era of Clinton's infidelities, and I had an angry talk with God as I walked down the street. Long story short, I realized that the church's view of homosexuality is changing, and I couldn't wait for their permission to live my life. I would be dead before they realized they were wrong, and that wouldn't do me any good. Clearly, looking at our political leaders, they weren't even consistent. Looking back, I felt like God had placed gay people in my life to tell me I was gay, and I was so in denial, I couldn't accept it. I was in a cult, really, where I was looking at myself in the mirror and denying what was right before my eyes. I had spent my life in agony over my desires, something I couldn't stop, and I made the decision right there to stop feeling defective. I am still only out to a few people. There is a trauma to coming out, even when you know 98% of people will support you. I no longer attend a church, but I don't blame God and still identify with my religion. That's the quick version that cuts out a lot of my growth, questions, struggles, challenges, and insights.

Don't discount your sex appeal at 51. That's a hot age. My partner is 65, and I an crazy about him.

1. Being with a hot guy equates into hot sex. I have had many great sexcapades with guys who looked nothing like David Anthony or Stu from Sean Cody. There are many ways for guys to be hot. 2. When I have a partner, I will have sex regularly, and I won’t need to be on the hunt. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Why do people force themselves on massage therapists when there are plenty out there happy to oblige?

Well, he's got a long way to go if he's trying to compete with Allison Mack.

Probably too late, but I saw Al in OC. I think YMMV, but it was an incredible experience. I met Mike briefly after our session, which was also fun.

I know, but what was it expected that people did in that theater when it was permitted. Did they even sell popcorn?

How sad that his career was destroyed and that he had to bear the weight of having his sexual expression publicly exposed.

I didn't have sex until I was 32, and it was many more years until I tried anal. My vote is, go for the whole shebang of what you want. Hiring is the easiest way to get the sex you want, and if you pick the right provider, you have someone on your side. How long depends on you. Are you going to have buyers remorse the moment you cum? Or, do you want some cuddle and connecting time? Personally, I don't like to be rushed; I enjoy savoring my time with a guy. If there is a connection, I never get bored cuddling and making out. I can't do incalls, so I can't speak to that. I would say, when you meet, let them know it's your first time. It shouldn't matter when setting up your appointment.

I would pass.

I went for my first (and so far, only) massage with a beautiful Latino daddy. Within 30 minutes, I had his cock in my hand, We moved from the table to the bed, and he was offering for me to top him. I figured there would be HJ, but I was surprised by the offers for more. He slutped up two loads from me, and I still very happy when I think of him. Unfortunately, soon after, he moved.

My earliest sexual fantasies were all around receiving oral sex. When I started hooking up, I never engaged in anal. I tried to tell myself I was bi, so I avoided anal. The first time I ever did it, I was with this hot cubby guy and on top grinding him. He shifted his ass, and I slipped right in without realizing it . . . until I realized it. When I hit 40, I came to terms with my sexuality and started being open to anal (topping). I figured it was something I should be more willing to do. I hooked up with this really nice guy. We had chatted for a while on Adam4Adam, and then I went over. I would later learn he had directed some independent porn. His oral skills were incredible, and he seemed really into me. There was a nice connection. I offered to top him, which he was down for. He pulled out the condoms, and I think we tried missionary. I could not get inside him, and if I did, I don't think I stayed in very long. We wasted a few condoms, and he went to get more from his kitchen, then said he was out of my size. Then, he finished me up with oral. He never wanted to meet up again. To me, the connection was important, the fact that we were naked together and exploring. I don't think he felt that way. I think guys expect you to know how to top. Who knew? I realized that I didn't know how to reliably get inside a guy. I couldn't seem to find the hole, and then when you did find it, sometimes, you fell out and had to get back in! At age 40/41, I didn't really know how to have sex. Add in odd height difference (I am a tall guy) and any low-sitting beds, and it can be a challenge for me. I did learn how to use my finger to find the hole and guide myself in, but it's still a source of stress if the angle isn't right. I find accessing the ass while spooning trends to work. The last time, though, the condom slipped off, and I didn't realize it until I shot my load inside the guy. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I haven't tried since. I realize, though, I don't really enjoy anal. With a condom, you can't feel much. Thrusting over and over inside a guy is boring when you don't feel much. Cumming that way is not very pleasureable for me. And once you do it to be a good partner, it's expected of you every time. I really truly love a guy licking and slurping my dick most of all. That feels incredible and anal (bare or covered) simply can't come close. I ended up learning that the guy had directed porn when I followed him on Twitter. I found some behind the scenes footage of his work, where he was describing a scenario where a character was stashing condoms everywhere, including the kitchen, to always be ready for sex. I witnessed first hand, that's how he did it in real life! He was a really nice guy, and his oral skills were incredible. He's gone from X, so I don't know what he is up to. I hope he is well and finding tops who know what the heck they are doing.

I have been following him on X for a number of years, and he seems genuine and passionate about nudity and sex.

No hands. My cock gets plenty of hand, so when I am with someone, it likes a different sensation.

I am a zero.

Are they singing? Where is this from!

I wonder if she ever came around like so many others on her understanding of homosexuality.

I went to the bar when I didn't hear from him, worried that something had happend to him. We had such a connection; I didn't see how he could ghost me. Then, I saw him chatting away with a hot guy and panicked. I realized I was past tense. I felt like Kate Winslet as Marianne in "Sense and Sensibility," when she stumbles upon Willoughby at the party. I was mortified and wanted nothing more than to leave without him seeing me, and while I was waiting for the right time to make my quick exit, a nice guy came up and offered me a blow job (which I didn't accept). A few minutes later, he was heading my way and made contact. For me, it was awkward. He told me he got locked out of his email, which seemed like a lame excuse. I wrote my number on a napkin for him, hugged him, and left. I suspect for him, I was just another guy at the bar, but I was there only for him. I admit I was smitten because we had such an intense connection. I was new in my open relationship and new to admiting to myself that I was gay. If he hadn't ghosted me, there is a good chance I might have ended up with him. Now, I am very bonded with my partner, and I would never leave him, despite our differences (among them, I didn't want an open relationship at the time). Now that I know this guy a little better, I think there is a chance he really did lose access to his email, though he still ghosted me. After the pandemic, he gave me invaluable advice when I was pursuing a job in his field, even giving me some training. He also recommended me for a job. I talked with him on the phone a little over a year ago, and one of the first things he asked was if I was still with my partner. I wish we could just be friends, sex or no sex, but I don't want to lead him on. But, it sounds like he hates relationships, so I am not sure what his end goal is. There's that post about who you would hire if you won the lottery, and truthfully, he is not for hire, but this guy would be my choice.

I went to a bar to try to meet platonic friends. I look over and this sexy guy, maybe 48, winks at me. We chat and realize we have a lot in common, and he is totally into my type. We spend the rest of the night passionately getting to know each other in the bar. We hang out one time after that, and he ghosts me, much to my dismay. During the pandemic, he chats me up online, not knowing its me. I reveal myself, and we have late night chats about our common interests and sexy stuff. Once the pandemic is over the hump, I track him down at the bar. At the end of the night, we are in his backseat, cuddling, and then after awhile, his mouth is around my dick. I shoot a big load, reload, and the second time, I shoot an even bigger load because he turns me on so much. Neither of us can host, and we have a repeat after a dinner in the dark parking lot of the restaurant I chose, which luckily closed early. We have an insane connection, but I am partnered, and I now realize he has a hard time with that. So, we can't even be just friends.

I saw Marilu Henner on tour. For future productions, I am always a fan of Broadway stars, so give me Sutton Foster, Patina Miller, Kara Lindsay, Laura Bell Bundy. Laura Bell Bundy would be incredible.

When I read reviews before going to my first NYC Adonis event, someone referenced being duped by a similar scheme, a dancer providing more than asked and demanding more. Now, whenever I go, I pay upfront and twice state how many dances I want. Then there was the time I ran out of money and my favorite dancer said to find him before I left and gave me about 4 dances without payment. That was a dream come true and a nice ego boost. I let him take the lead to make it about his needs, and we were both pleased.

If you are in the Los Angeles area, there are a couple of sex venues that maybe perhaps would rent out their spaces. I don't have a connection to them; it's just a "doesn't hurt to ask" thought.