Deadlift1

It was the cum stains on his petticoat that gave it away, wasn't it?

I have learned in business that if a client is a dick prior to signing the papers he will be a dick to deal with after.

It feels private. Like when I'm with my wife. I apologize, but I'd rather not "SPILL."
 
It's unusual for me. Poly has always been intellectually and philosophically interesting but theoretical. I haven't had time to go over everything and settle my thoughts and feelings, but I suspect this man, who's well over a decade younger and happily engaged to a wonderful woman, means more to me than "just" a fbuddy. It's the strangest and most intimate mentor/mentee relationship I've ever had and I need to navigate all of this carefully.

This is such a wonderful thread. Thank you again for creating it @Lance_Navarro and to everyone for contributing so openly and generously.
 
I imagine it's clear from my post history that I have a "thing" for "straight guys." I've spent years working on my internalized homophobia, racism, and sexism. I've been able to "turn down the volume" on many irrational fears and thoughts developed over my lifetime. I've learned many interesting things about myself and where I come from and I hope that has made me a better father, husband, and man.
 
One of the most challenging issues that I struggle with to this day, is the foundational sexism that underpins homophobia and how that is informed by racism. It's undoubtedly self-absorbed to think so, but I feel as though my emotions are uniquely challenging because I love my wife and the life I've built with her and I also enjoy sex with men. In some ways, I've never felt so free or had such amazing sex as when I'm on my back watching a well built man look down at me as he fucks me. The way it feels to have my legs held open. To want him deeper. The desire to pull him down to kiss him is a very new feeling for me. To realize that my role can be so very different in that situation and what it does to my self-concept and my point of view.
 
I'm rambling some-what, because this profound experience happened this week with a straight guy I've known for many years. I know all of the variables leading up to this experience but I haven't fully processed everything. So you're getting this some-what stream-of-consciousness. I am sorry if it's incoherent. Discoveries frequently are chaotic, accidental, or even tangential. I look forward to processing this recent experience and trying to understand what it means to and for me.
 
All of this, though, I hope will largely be a relic in a generation or two. At least for those privileged enough to have good educations and Internet access. I see it in my kids. My oldest son has a fluidity to his intimacy, physicality, and sexuality that's incredibly challenging for me to understand but as his father, I'm incredibly proud of him. And his siblings are even more complex in some ways. On these topics, I for one, look forward to a brighter future built by the next generation. I hope they consign much of this old baggage to the dustbin of history, where it belongs.

I mean this sincerely... I can't imagine a more potentially noble profession than escorting... but it is filled with psychological potholes because it can attract at times emotionally damaged individuals who've been scarred by the sexual mores of western civilization's bigotry and homophobia. Unfortunately it can lead to some pretty intense "acting out" on the part of these individuals... when they are actually crying out for healing. I'm not sure how escorts avoid burnout... but bless you for being on the front lines!

He is hot. There are a couple of other guys based there as well. They must be doing well. A good thing for AC

DEAR ABBY: How do I treat someone with respect whom I do not respect and who does not respect me? I try to treat everyone courteously; however, it's tough to do when often the respect only flows one way. -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA
 
DEAR UNSURE: Here's how. First, keep your distance, if that's possible. And then refrain from showing your disdain by using basic good manners whenever you are forced to be in the person's presence.

I have learned the same thing when I was working. When I worked for the airlines, one of the things that I would tell new hires, is that if the person is rude, that is how they are in all of their dealings and private life. Just sometimes a bigger asshole than other times

I have learned in business that if a client is a dick prior to signing the papers he will be a dick to deal with after.

I have learned in business that if a client is a dick prior to signing the papers he will be a dick to deal with after.

Does anyone?

Well said. <333

That's a complete mischaracterization of a very long thread. There is no "general consensus" on this topic. There are plenty of us who don't have security concerns or insecurities to deal with and have no problem providing stats and a picture. I've been doing this successfully for a long time and I'm far from stupid dude.

It's a hot-button issue for many people, but I would try not to take it personally to the point of being insulted. It's a sure sign the escort has limitations on the type of clients he can serve. It could be size. It could be age. It could be race. You will never really know, so unless you are really interested in that particular provider, it's best to just move on. Better to know up front than to show up and be someone the provider just can't work with.

Somebody a lot smarter than I am has pointed out that Gays are the only despised minority raised entirely within the families of their oppressors.
 
Add to this that most gay boys don't quite figure out what's up until well after they've absorbed typical notions of masculinity (and faggotry) and it's likely that few of us escape w/o some internalized homophobia.
 
Myself,everytime I think I've finally gotten it rooted out, I find it creeping back into my reactions.

Josh, I don’t know you, but neither do I believe you. And not for any reason other than the impossibility of such perfection. Humility, not grandiosity, is healthy. Ask your therapist, who sounds like s/he helped you a great deal.

All minority groups inner-discriminate: This is not exclusive to the gay community.
 
There's a lot of behavioral bullshit within our own that I don't condone for myself. It's likely why the majority of my friends are straight. While comfortable with myself as a gay man, I don't have a huge group of gay friends. I'm fine with that.

I don't believe I'm homophobic, but I've become very aware that I'm quite the bigot regarding some behaviors. The conflict between behaviors seen and @latbear4blk's phrase above --- "fighting against those mandates" ---- results in frustration and irritation for me.
 
Examples:

pursuit of masculinity. For a population-segment often judged and stereotyped to idealize "masculinity" without recognizing that masculinity itself is just another stereotype makes me nuts. Is there anything more masculine than soft-spoken slender male wearing makeup walking the streets of a small southern town? Or someone transitioning FTM going for a job interview at the NFL?
I get frustrated by the nostalgia and clinging to old norms and behaviors - although I don't believe that's only a gay phenomenon. But older gays, who long for the days of the bathhouses, who resent the progress whereby neighborhood development means fewer places for public sex, to still adopt old ways of referring to other men with female pronouns "Ohhhhhh, her!" or "She". These are attitudes that will inhibit societal acceptance.... I think we've made progress into tolerance. Our parents come to terms with it, they adapt. Love wins out. But we're still not at a point where a mother isn't initially disappointed, or a father reacts to a son being gay the same way he'd react to a son having brown eyes.
Some intolerance for those still in the closet. I wouldn't counsel someone to come out. I try not to judge them. I wouldn't refuse friendly contact. And I would never intentionally "out" someone. But I've also made a pledge to myself that I can't be expend the energy to hide. To borrow a phrase from other life-situations "I may lie to you, but I won't lie FOR you." I feel no need to volunteer information, would try to say nothing. But I won't actively help someone be dishonest, be part of their "cover-story" to remain in the closet.

Check out "beach rats" and "god's own country" which both received rave reviews. GOC is suppose to be the uk version of brokeback mountain.

A friend of mine tried to sell me on coming to her hot yoga class.
 
I knew the participants wore very little and I expressed my concerns
about not being “comfortable” around so many beautiful 1/2 naked male
yoga bodies.
 
Her response?....”don’t worry...you’ll be by far the best looking man there”.
 
And with that...I completely lost all interest.....lol

Are you ever not a passive aggressive bitch?

OP you are right! This topic has been discussed multiple times. Who the F cares when u last weighed yourself? Your entire post is fat shaming.

Lets hope ur bad health run is behind you.....a good reason to celebrate.

Thank you all, gentlemen and ladies, for your kind interest and support in these past months. We are all at home, all three boys in the twins' room talking while I watch Colbert with a good Scotch. The adjustment is going fine... but this feels wonderful.
 
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

For the last 17 years since my partner passed, I have spent the Holidays alone, foregoing invites and company... and ya know what, it aint so bad... I can wear my stretchy pants, eat dinner in bed, and take my nap afterwards... Once you learn to be by yourself, the time just passes.....