robear

If not already doing so, you really need to unpack some of these issues with a competent gay-affirming, sex-positive therapist. The right therapist could help you reframe and clarify your search for intimacy on all levels.

As for paid encounters, I agree with Walker1 that a more mature -- and especially a more seasoned -- professional that has a wealth of experience will provide a better session than a hot-hot-hot fly-by-night. I don't know that it's always about age, but several guys discussed on this board who have been at it for years and are serious and thoughtful about providing a real service to clients would be good choices. Some use the phrase "sacred intimacy" or similar in their ads to signal a willingness to engage with their clients in a more substantive way than just a physical act. If you want to share your general location and "type" you might get some good suggestions here.

I think she did you a great service. That kind of feedback from a (relatively) disinterested third party is gold. Hell, you'd have a pay a therapist 100x what you paid her for the same thing. We could all probably do well to reflect on how we "unload" on innocent bystanders sometimes.

I've been on PrEP since it was available. BUT, the decision to ingest powerful antiviral drugs to prevent infection by HIV is a very individual and personal one. There are numerous factors to weigh, medical, financial, philosophical and so on, and no one should be pressured or shamed into making a choice one way or the other. It's clear that you're committed to safer sex, @mcskill, as it works for YOU. The masseur was out of line in his comments and expectations.

For those covered by commercial (employer paid) insurance and prescription management, it's likely that current coverage of Truvada will require a move to the generic when available. Brand-name Descovy might then be very expensive to the patient when there is a generic alternative. I pay nothing OOP for generics, but a substantial % of the retail for a brand name when a generic "equivalent" is available.

"Andre" was my first experience of catfishing. He used to post a number of sexy pictures, including on rentmen, but the weren't him. He was average-looking, gave an okay massage and the ultimate extra, but I can't forgive the fakery

What might one consider the "ultimate extra" in context of a massage?

Texts with him have been a little strange.

I get the appeal, but as always, follow your instincts.

No way!! I admit I'm a skin freak -- and that the mild scent of a *clean* uncut cock is a major turnon. But everything I've ever heard about adult circumcision, even when done out of medical necessity, says avoid avoid avoid. Do you really want to spend 6 mos. of your life with a painful dick, not to mention the ugly fresh scar?

I say keep the skin, lose the urologist.

Purely speculation here -- we can only know the real situation from the man himself. However, the prospect of functioning in social environment might have been intimidating to him. We know that escorts are rarely called upon to actually, well, escort someone, and doing so calls on an entirely different skill set. The fact that he didn't even own appropriate clothing for the occasion tells you right there that this isn't something he's prepared to do. Experienced pros often specifically mention wardrobe in their ads.

That said, he was of course wrong to ghost you, when he should have simply declined the date with sufficient time for you to rebook. I think if I were doing something like this, I'd be sure to hire someone I had already seen in person and knew well enough to know he was right for the role.

If somebody wants to get their jollies watching ME have a massage ... god bless!!

Not sure you need to go into "the business," but I don't think it's that unusual for people with extremely specific kinks to offer to pay someone to help them find satisfaction, indeed the payment may itself be a part of the kink. If you're inclined, I say do it, remembering (as should all providers) that you're there for his experience, not your own. If his gift of $$ bothers you, pass it on to Planned Parenthood or some other worthy recipient.

My quarterly PrEP visit with my doctor always includes a full metabolic panel to screen for any kidney issues. I believe this is a standard part of the protocol. I also take daily meloxicam (a long-lasting prescription NSAID). If either or both together impact my renal function, it would show in the blood test.

Have you expressed your dissatisfaction clearly and directly to your therapist? From my own experiences with therapy, I know that one gets into a routine over time, every session following the same contours. A refocusing of the work with your therapist may be in order: "I'm dissatisfied with my life right now. Please help me make changes to improve that."

This is a great thread!

I believe people have different needs around types of relationships, and that variance is a natural expression of personality.

Some people MUST be in a committed relationship, it's their highest priority, and hence they will make many sacrifices and compromises to that end.

Others (perhaps most) prefer a coupled life, but not at the expense of their own independence and individuality. We are probably conditioned to believe this is the ideal for ALL people, but I don't think that's true.

Still others (and I'm probably in this group) prefer a connected but often solitary life, and are not drawn to the idea of having an "other" as part of their day-to-day existence. I don't long for a committed boyfriend, in fact the very idea makes me feel claustrophobic. And that's OK, it's who I am and doesn't need to be fixed.

Paddles sex club and rainbow In Long Island city

Paddles I know but what is Rainbow?

On RentMasseur advertisers are notified of unlocks even if do not track is selected. RentMen (and other sites) may work differently.

I think it's a mistake to equate a premium member unlock on RentMasseur with interest to hire. I occasionally pay the $10 for a month of premium, and it's for purely voyeuristic reasons. I unlock lots of profiles with no intention of hiring. It's what RM "sells" on the client side. It's unfortunate that RM notifies the advertiser, implying interest that usually isn't actually there. That's what RM "sells" on the provider side.

Actual interest to hire I express via text or email to the provider. And I completely get that there are wankers out there that get off on engaging providers in extended, detailed exchanges with no intention to hire. That's unfortunate but I'm afraid it comes with the territory.

Hey guys, bumping this. I’d also like to try a pedicure in one of the nyc men’s spas. Any recommendations?

I go to Living Fresh. If Fan is available, she does a great job. They have the full setup, massage chairs and all. Bonus is you get to watch the masseurs and clients going to and from their sessions.

I get your frustration, @MidwestMarc, but you might consider editing your profile to eliminate the mention of massage. I read profiles as a menu of possibilities, but also a reflection of the provider's intentions. There are a number of actual masseurs who advertise on rent.men, and offer an erotic massage session as an option. OTOH, there are many "masseurs" on masseurfinder, rentmasseur, etc. who have very limited massage skills, but provide more freeform encounters.

Or, BnaC, people WANT to fuck Democrats, Republicans not so much

This post reminded me of my distant youth in the 70s. At that (very different) time "street cruising" was common, especially for horny 20-somethings. If the attraction was mutual we negotiated a quick tryst at an agreed upon location. I agree though that in the age of Grindr I would find it ... odd ... also. Although I do still occasionally enjoy a sly smile, wink or other sort of "I see you" from another gay/bi man.

I just recently discovered the joy of the pedicure. Much better job than I can do myself. I throw in a manicure just because, it's now a recurring appointment on my calendar.

I'm on the client's side here. I believe most clients make an appointment upfront for a specific time and fee. If that is to increase, there must be a further agreement before the extension happens. While a client should be mindful of time, the onus is on the provider to attend to his services and he REALLY shouldn't assume the client will pay extra if he just dawdles.

As in this review, I rarely carry much more cash than covers the fee and possibly tip money. The scenario of a provider demanding he accompany a client to an ATM to withdraw cash is frightening, and certainly reflects badly on the provider (whom I note doesn't dispute the client's description of the event).

A similar commercial site for those interested is http://www.jockpussy.com. I think the spectrum of trans experience, and how it fits into the "mainstream," is very much evolving. It's more and more common to see young transmen posting on hookup apps, and FTM escorts advertising.

All this calculation is omitting an important additional variable: if your partner is HIV+, being effectively treated and has an undetectable viral load, he is not infectious.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/cdc-person-with-undetectable-hiv-cannot-transmit-virus

Of course, in many scenarios it's impossible to know for certain a partner's status, so there's that, but any hypothetical risk assessment must take this into account.