MscleLovr

When I hired, I’d always spell out exactly what I wanted. I’d do this first in a text or a brief phone call. My “coded language” was along these lines: I’d enjoy dating you. I’m looking for (day, time, location etc) I’m a lazy selfish top with a dominant streak; I enjoy French kissing (ie with tongue) and cuddling, and I like to be sucked off. I always use condoms for topping. I find it hot to unload in my man’s mouth, and really hot when he swallows my load. Are we fully compatible? Over the years, I recall only 1 guy (a popular escort in DC) refusing to discuss physical preferences over the phone. I politely declined and moved onto another guy with whom I was compatible. I also recall how numerous guys told me how refreshing it was to meet a guy who knew what he wanted and was clear and direct straightaway.

You have good taste @BOZO T CLOWN He has a very nice body. Maybe he will send you a face pic if you politely express your interest in dating him? I wonder though if you will have a ‘learning experience’ with him, and whether he will meet your needs….in that he doesn’t list his activities nor detail his interests.

More than ever, I think that this year it pays to be savvy - book well in advance, travel at less busy times on unpopular days of the week etc. I just booked using points 2x business class round trips East Coast-Europe in early Summer. And I’ve booked some flights within Europe for a little less than I paid in 2019 by choosing flights out of smaller airports and travelling midweek.

From what you’ve written @TyrEngineer I don’t understand why you hesitate to move on. Unless you live in an area where there are few available men, there’s no reason to accept being badly treated. I’ve never eaten in a restaurant where the maitre d’ said ‘We have no prices on the menu as we tell you the price of the meal when you’ve finished’. Similarly, when I talk to a guy to establish that we are compatible, I learn about his pricing - activities matter to me, money matters to him - and I only agree to ‘a la carte’ pricing in restaurants.

I love this exchange of laconic comments on this working guy’s performance. It seems sensible to conclude that Your Mileage May Vary.

I sympathize @Tygerscent I guess you were feeling frustrated, but was it the shuttle bus or the aircraft seating that upset you? For years now, people have complained but they buy airline tickets primarily on price. The constant desire has been for lower prices. Luckily, in North America and Europe, safety standards have been maintained and are higher than ever. Otherwise, space for seating and the quality of catering have declined markedly. And during the pandemic, I warned friends to prepare themselves for much higher prices for flights. It seemed obvious to me that as pent-up demand for travel soared, airlines would seek to restore their profitability and rebuild their balance sheets. Capacity is limited. I’ve noticed already that for longhaul flights I’m paying 60-80% more than before the pandemic.

I never experienced this…as I refused to play along with the ‘game’. Years ago in Barcelona, I wanted to see a guy with a good reputation. A phone call at 7pm established we were fully compatible. I was in the centre of the city but he suggested I visit him, a 20 minute taxi-ride away, at 9pm. When I asked for his address, he gave me an approximate location and to call him again from outside “the corner cafe” at 9pm. I politely said I was serious about the date, but I wasn’t about to travel there and back across the city at night, to wait on a street corner.

I used to discuss hiring with two close friends (but one died a few years ago: he was Expat on here). It started when I was open about my love-life, and I discussed hiring. The surviving friend with whom I discuss this has a different take on life, and we enjoy a wide-ranging discussion on the business.

You’ve reacted better than I would have done @builder boy And I suspect you’re more easy-going than I would have been on such a long weekend. I would NEVER have allowed him to take a 6 hour nap and miss dinner. When I travelled with a muscleboy, I’d ALWAYS suggest a shower on arrival at the hotel. Then I’d want us to “break in” the hotel bed and “get fully reacquainted” straightaway. This had several benefits - it made sure we were both on the same page, it took care of my erection and the exercise gave me a good appetite for dinner. I always treated the muscleboy, aka my travel companion, politely and generously. But I remembered that it was work for him. It was important for me that my pleasure and his paid work meshed well together.

I’m sorry to read that you were so very badly treated @builder boy From reading your posts over the years, I know that you’re one of the ‘good guys’ here. My experience over the years is that you have to be VERY clear on extended dates as to your expectations - what you enjoy, what you want to do/have done to you, scheduling play-times and the frequency of play. I’ve only been disappointed once: it was a long weekend with a muscleboy I’d topped a few times. On the third day, after a great night out and terrific sex in bed, he revealed he suffered depression. That meant we had a dull and chaste (no-sex) last day together. I feel the key to a successful extended date is that BEFORE going on the extended date, you have several short sessions (where you establish sexual compatibility) and at least one overnight date (where you test his skills as a companion, discuss various topics and gain insight into his personality and character) .

You may not be his First Client @Islesguy but you could be “Next!” 😀

Very nicely put. I too enjoy the company of attractive young men. It’s not about sexual desire. They make engaging companions, have energy and intellectual curiosity about the world. They contrast well with some of my old friends whose views are now rather rigid and who are now unwilling to try new things.

When I was using the internet for dating, I assumed that everyone was shaving off 4 years from their true age. And for my pics, like those of everyone else, I chose the most flattering ones of me. I can believe that the “embellishment” of reality is much worse nowadays. Requesting recent accurate photos seems a reasonable safeguard against misrepresentation. FWIW only once in my internet dating days did I have to say “You look nothing like your pics” - the pics were of a young fit-bodied guy in his 20s; a chubby, balding guy in his 40s turned up - and so, as @guru68 suggests, I walked away

My hiring was years ago so my advice may be anachronistic, but… 1. I always offered the guy a glass of wine or water when he arrived. Then we’d sit and talk. I like to feel a connection with a guy, and talking helps establish that - as does stroking his arm or gently squeezing his thigh. As you both become comfortable and aroused, it’s easy to lean in for a kiss and explore further. 2. You’re clearly not shy @Quartz and you spelt out what you wanted to do. I feel that’s good as I’m the same. I was very specific about what I enjoyed and wanted to do/have done to me. I emphasized what was important to me. Perhaps you simply need to detail your desires more with the next guy you meet. Not everyone is good at foreplay, just as not every man is a great kisser. Just tell the guy what you’d like to explore. 3. I’m only ever a top. In general I found guys (who enjoy being bottom) do sport erect cocks. Some guys are more submissive than others, and some guys really enjoy being compliant. Perhaps this guy felt you were very much a take-charge top and perhaps this guy just wasn’t into that - I’ve known bottoms to respond very readily to that attitude, but some versatile guys don’t like it. 4. Last, I wonder if face-fucking was a problem. I had several great dates with a muscleboy who was a skilled cocksucker. One time, I was feeling especially dominant and I began to face-fuck him. I came in his mouth and he swallowed my load as usual. Later, however, he told me he didn’t enjoy me being on his chest and face-fucking him. He preferred to be on top, while I was horizontal, as it made him feel that he controlled my cock. Perhaps your guy didn’t really enjoy being face-fucked. It’s not for everyone.

I strongly agree with this.

Less than a week has passed and we are blessed with another long, irrelevant screed. I worry about you @Unicorn. Are you finding retirement difficult? I know you feel you are always right and you have never taken criticism well, but the rampant egotism of your recent posts is rather alarming.

A true fan. Alas, my devotion is to ‘Frasier’.

Just a simple aside @samhexum but how often do you rewatch ‘The Golden Girls’?

Me too. But not in this case… Do you @boredboy96 know the saying “you want to have your cake and eat it too”? There’s no harm in that, of course. My advice is to be polite and truthful, but not brutally honest. I’d say something along the lines of “I’ve just met a guy. I’m getting close to him and I want to see how it goes. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll be sure to contact you again as we always had such good fun together”

IMO this is eminently sensible. It’s always best to go by the principle of Caveat Emptor. Many years ago, I had a first, fun date with a guy. He suggested he join me on a trip so I bought an airfare for him. Unsurprisingly he became difficult to contact. He postponed 2x; I tried to reschedule but to no avail. Luckily the non-refundable ticket I’d bought was not much money. Afterwards I only ever bought fully refundable tickets.

Not his friends but all Russians actually. Leo is just the Anglicized form of his name. And you were unfavorably compared to Count Tolstoy.

And I thought it impertinent of you @Coolwave35 You wrote at vast length @Unicorn to ask a simple question. There is a particularly extensive thread (74 pages and counting) on Seeking in The Deli already, and people have posted there about being barred or suspended for inappropriate content or language. Why start anew?

I don’t know where you’re based @Luv2play but isn’t that wildly optimistic?

I may be limited in my interests but a movie about an older heterosexual female and her joys and travails is not important to me.

This is a groundbreaking thread. Gay men argue about decor 😎