MscleLovr

Very good list of warning signs, in my opinion. Simple: I don’t want people doing drugs or getting high on a date with me. The only time I’ve ever been threatened was when a guy after a good dinner (on our 4th date, and at his request our 1st overnight) took some substance in the bathroom and then in bed started to complain that ‘the rich always get what they want’. I threw him out.

Interesting report @purplekow Thanks for taking the time to detail your experience. He’s a handsome guy so I wondered about your interaction… How good was his English? Do you feel he didn’t fully understand what you wanted? Also, I wonder if he normally played with younger men? I’m a top only and I truly enjoy and appreciate a muscleboy who bottoms. In the past, however, I have had fun when I played with other tops. The range of activities has been more limited. I certainly would not hire just to jack off. I’ve not tried to penetrate them (I for one like to be rimmed but dislike being fingered); I might give oral if I’m excited by the man; I’ve always enjoyed deep kissing and without exception I received oral (and generally been fellated to completion). I stress ‘in the past’ as I’m now in my 70s. if I were now to hire a guy, I’d be very explicit about my age and what I enjoy and what I expect the man to do in bed.

Why not? I eat a big bowl of porridge (with seeds, nuts & berries) for breakfast every day. Accordingly I get through a 1kilo (2.2lbs) bag of organic oats every month. It’s healthy nutrition and it’s a quick, easy breakfast to make.

First, welcome. Second, it sounds as if you’re newly ‘out’. I don’t know where you’re based (Seattle?) but I feel you should join a social group or join in an activity that appeals so that you mix with other gay men and make friends. Last, gratuitous advice I know, but I don’t know your occupation or profession. You want to bear in mind that online photos can always be discovered. So if you post your pics online or send them to other men, you may want to obscure/pixilate your face first.

But where can you get good vellum today? It’s so difficult to find quality calves.

I think that’s a very good rule. I used to respond to all messages that I received…and then I had a bad experience. One person asked about a specific activity with a particular man that I liked. I confirmed that I’d enjoyed it with him but I stressed he needed to be discreet if requesting the same service. Some days later, I heard from the person that the man was not willing to do the same with him when they met. I also heard directly from the man that after refusing, the person said to him “You do it for MscleLovr. Why won’t you do it for me?” Lesson learned: some posters here are neither polite nor trustworthy.

I wish you well @baseball6 I think that many of us here have had similar feelings and relations develop with working guys at some time. As I read your first post, I thought to myself you already know the answer. You’ve been given excellent advice by others. Please take it. Should you still harbour thoughts of love and affection for this much younger man, follow the well-intended advice of @maninsoma and invite the young man out BUT specify it’s unpaid or “off the clock”. If he does have genuine feelings for you, he will want to see you. My only advice here is practical. To get over this young man, hire another handsome young guy and “get back in the saddle” quickly - it will help you move on.

To answer the OP: Yes. As others have noted above, this topic has been aired before…several times. So a question for the OP: what insights are you trying to gain? Or what experiences do you want to live vicariously? Since I’ve been with my partner for more than 10 years, my insights may be dated. Before I met him, I was a ‘modeliser’ and I had such relationships with several handsome and very fit guys. Overall, my experiences were very good.

I suspect you already know the answer @David Diddle Apologies in advice if you find my views robust. I think that in time, there will be healing and forgiveness. But that time is not now. My view that if I married a man who was secretive by nature and turned out to have an entirely secret life, I’d skip counselling and seek a good divorce attorney at once. If you used the term husband loosely, and you’re not legally married, I guess you should protect your finances and yourself promptly. If you have a joint bank account, move your share before he empties the account. If you own where you live, change the locks. Get a full health check.

Certainly there are such men, but they are rare. At least, I knew two such men but more than 10 years ago. I dated each one for a long time. The first was a dark-haired (Italian heritage) man who played different sports several times a week. He had the most symmetrical physique I’ve ever seen on a guy, beautiful body and bubble butt. People invariably described him as very manly and on our first date that’s how he presented. Once we’d stripped off and were in bed, he proved to be a good bottom. I explored more on further dates and he proved to be a total submissive slut (in a very good way). He loved to be compliant and in group play, would readily suck all the cocks. The second was a blond Englishman. He was younger than the first, and only aged 21/22 when we first met. We dated for several years. He had the classic Abercrombie looks and musculature. He presented as str8 and was a little shy at first; as he stripped off, he grew in confidence and in bed, he was a total bottom. Each man advertised online for only a little while. I think each had a small number of men who provided regular support. .

Eat lots of fruit & vegetables (aka more fibre) regularly. And you’ll live longer too!

I’m astounded @Gar1eth What has happened to American capitalism? And where is the respect for the US consumer? You’re obviously a loyal customer as you’ve gone back to them after only 22 years. Next I suppose we’ll discover that Crown Cork & Seal, the preeminent US supplier of bottle closures, no longer sells corks!

I very much agree @nycman I wonder how well that young man has aged

I’m in my 70s but I have a lot of younger friends, and I would never discuss either ‘thing’ mentioned above. To me, it’s part of staying young…like being well-groomed and dressed and keeping in decent shape. Why not go out to dinner in a restaurant? It breaks your routine, but that’s part of being flexible. And if driving home afterwards is a problem for you, just say beforehand “Dinner would be great. But I’m not good at driving at night, so will you mind running me back?’

Well, if you don’t have money but bodybuilders make you weak at the knees, I suggest you join a gym where they work out. Assuming you have time and patience, use discretion and engage the guys you admire in conversation. It’s best to use humour and chat when a guy is on his own. Keep it light and once you’ve made your interest clear, invite the guy for a meal after his work-out…then you mention your willingness to offer financial support. Bodybuilding is an expensive hobby. The guys will most probably have been hit on before, so don’t overthink it. And take the guy for a test-drive very soon afterwards so you can determine how compatible you both are.